Conflicted
by Hank's Lady
Summary: Paul has been a screw-up most of his life and has never been really close to anyone since his mother died at a young age, leaving him hurt and lost. Can he ever face his problems and trust anyone enough to be happy? An all human story, rated M for lemons and violence and this is slash M/M so if it's not your thing, turn back now.
1. Chapter 1

**Here is the beginning of my latest story and as mentioned in the summary, this one is all human and is rated for future violence and lemons (slash or M/M). Most of it will be written from Paul's point of view with one or two other characters probably narrating parts later on. Hope you enjoy the story and all your reviews are much appreciated :o)**

**Disclaimer: As always, all Twilight characters belong to Ms Meyer, not me, I'm sorry to say ;o)**

CHAPTER ONE

**Paul's POV**

"Is it done yet?" I asked Jake for probably the hundredth time. I knew he was about ready to punch me, but damnit, I bought the car three months ago and it was still in the shop.

"No, Paul, it's not done; if you leave me the hell alone I might have a hope of finishing it this century," Jake growled.

"Well, what the fuck have you been doing?" I snapped.

Jacob straightened up and put down the wrench he was holding. "My job. I work nine hours a day, Paul and I do have a life. You would go and buy this heap of shit without even getting me to check it out first. If you want a decent car making out of it, then it takes time and a lot of damned hard work. It wouldn't kill you to help if you're that desperate to have it on the road."

"Yeah, alright," I sighed.

He had a point. In my book patience was never a virtue and why should you have a dog and bark yourself? I was paying Jake to fix my car up and half the things he was doing I could have done myself and saved money, but I would rather be lazing around or indulging in my usual knack for getting in trouble. So instead I hounded the poor guy mercilessly on a daily basis in the hopes that I might actually have four wheels in time for the planned trip to Pacific Raceways in Kent. I had only been over there twice before. The guys made the trip once a year, it being more than a three-hour drive from Forks, but I had never been able to get a decent car to take part in anything up to now. It had been my dream to have a Skyline since I was a kid and here I was at the grand old age of twenty-three only just managing to buy a wreck for Jake to do up for me. I would have killed to get my hands on the new GTR, or even the R34 model, but the best I could do was a beat up old R32 with a shot engine, and just about every part that was worth anything missing. Jake had actually laughed when I had it delivered to him on the back of a truck. Even now I would only be able to show it because I couldn't afford the parts for him to tune it to more than a hundred extra horsepower for the time being.

"How long?" I asked more calmly.

"A week."

"Fuck," I muttered. It was Saturday and in six days we would be heading off to Kent.

"Paul, if you weren't so frightened of hard work, it'd be done by now," Jake pointed out.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Go to my wholesaler in Forks and get these..." He handed me a scrap of paper with a list of items on it. "I ordered them already, they just need picking up."

He pulled out his truck keys and tossed them to me and I set off without a word. No one told me what to do, but I knew I was being stupid on this occasion. I'd never have a car if I didn't get it together.

I fetched the parts and even hung around a few hours helping Jake work on the car. He kept eyeing me like he expected me to lose it over something, but I didn't. In truth, actually doing some things myself, even if it was only fitting the new Sparco seats I had bought and adding accessories such as alloy pedals, steering wheel and a few other things while Jake worked under the hood, was beginning to excite me. I didn't have to hound Jake to tell me how long it would be; I knew it was getting close. He even had the engine running two days earlier and it growled like a wild animal. I found myself grinning as I turned a wrench, bolting the driver's seat in place.

I looked up now as the sound of a loud engine vying with rock music filled the garage, glimpsing the bright green of Quil's Evo 6 passing the door. He had spent a fortune on it and had six hundred horses under the hood. He was able to spend as much as he liked, he being the only one of us who had been to uni and then gone on to start a decent career as a stock broker, but hell knows why he had to choose a paint job that looked like someone with a bad case of catarrh sneezed over it. The noise stopped suddenly and he strolled in.

"Hey, guys. How's it going? Is that a smile, Paul? Fuck me!"

I grinned wider. I couldn't help it. There was something about Quil that always made everybody smile. Even when I was in one of my foulest moods, he could improve things without seeming to really do anything. He had been my best friend for years, although none of the others knew quite how close we were.

"Almost there, might actually get to Kent next week," I said.

"Awesome." Quil dropped into the seat I had just fitted. "Nice. Shame the colour isn't more interesting."

"We don't all want to look like fucking Kermit," I snorted. The Skyline had been yellow when I got it and he had urged me to keep it that way when Jake stripped it down and sprayed it, but I opted for black. Black was subtle, classy, disguising what might be under the hood whereas yellow screamed it at you. Black also suited my mood more often than not.

"You know, a few graphics would make all the difference," Quil grinned, sliding out of the car again. "Maybe some flames along here..." He indicated the wings.

"No, Quil."

"You know what would really be cool? Some of those fingers stuck on the back to make it look like you trapped someone in the trunk."

"Fuck that," I grinned.

"You have no sense of humour," sighed Quil.

"You only just realised that?"

"Quil, would you stop?" Jake interrupted at that moment. "This is the first time in weeks I actually got Paul to do something. At this rate he's going to be riding shotgun to Kent with you in Kermit out there."

"Fine, if all you guys are going to do is insult my baby, I'm out of here," Quil said, adopting an offended expression which was ruined by the amused glint in his eyes. "Catch you later."

"You're not going to stick around and help?" I asked.

"Nope. You know I'm shit with a wrench, Paul, you want to actually be able to drive that beast, don't you? Call you tonight." He disappeared and a moment later the monstrosity he called a car roared past the garage doors again and headed back onto the road.

I spent most of Sunday working on the car too, determined it was going to be finished. I didn't miss the surprise on Jake's face when I turned up at nine, but he said nothing, except to give me a list of instructions. Seth Clearwater was also helping out and with three pairs of hands we made good progress. Seth had worked for Jake since he left school and the kid brightened up anyone's day with his constant smile and sense of humour.

"I thought you had a date with Jessica today?" he commented at one point as we worked.

"I cancelled," I grunted.

"Bet she was happy."

"Huh." Jessica was pissed, but it had been with a touch of relief that I had sent her a text at eight saying I needed to work on the car. I had been seeing her for about three months now and I didn't think it would go on much longer. We had hooked up through Jake and Bella when they were dating and I quickly discovered her favourite things were makeup, jewellery, shopping and romantic comedies, all of which bored me rigid. Recently most of our conversations revolved around Bella, who had ditched Jake three weeks ago for Edward Cullen and he was still sick about it, but Jessica delighted in telling me how much Bella was being spoiled, regardless of the fact that one of my buddies had got a kick in the teeth from her.

Jake had been obsessed with Bella since school and then over the moon when she agreed to date him nine months ago. She was a gold digging little bitch however and although the rest of us could see it, Jake was blinded by lovesickness and didn't get it until Edward Cullen showed an interest. I had never seen Bella move so fast as when she realised she could get a hell of a lot more from Edward than she could from Jake.

There were five Cullens, all adopted by Dr Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme and as far as I knew, none of them worked, they just accepted handouts from Daddy and swanned around showing off. All of us hated them for one reason or another; Jake because Edward had taken Bella away from him; Embry because he had dated Alice Cullen and finished up being fucked with. She was one of those delicate types that cried at the drop of a hat and used emotional blackmail on Em to keep him fawning around her like a puppy. Jared resented them because he had spent maybe a year trying to woo Rosalie, the older girl, who rejected him over and over and apparently only wanted her own brother; well, adopted brother, but it was still weird.

As for me - I hated them because they had so much money they didn't know what to do with it, while the rest of us slogged our guts out for peanuts and still only just managed to afford an old wreck. One or other of them always somehow went up against one of our guys at the shows and always won because they had the money for better cars. Edward Cullen had a Corvette ZR1 for Christ's sake. Hell of a waste because he did nothing other than polish it and take it out on Sundays from what I heard - and win every damned show and shine competition in the state. I was doubly resentful because I'd recently seen the little one, Jasper, driving around in a brand new BMW, which rumour had it was a birthday gift from his parents. I mean, who the hell spends eighty grand buying their kid the latest M3 for their twenty-first?

"Is she coming to Kent with you?" Seth asked.

"What?"

"Jess."

"Doubt it." I smirked now. Jessica wouldn't be seen dead at a car event and certainly not when the accommodation was canvas.

"Don't you think it's time you stopped leading her on, Paul?" Jake said. "Everyone knows you're not that into her, except for Jess herself."

"Yeah, I know, I'll see how it goes the next couple weeks." I knew I was going to break up with her, but for the moment it suited me. At least the guys quit trying to fix me up with endless strings of girls if I actually dated one and Jessica was the third I'd actually had a relationship with in the past four years. I knew I was a real shit for doing it to them, knowing I was never going to stay faithful, but the last thing I wanted was for the guys to know what I really went to Port Angeles for every few months. Only Quil knew and he stayed silent, but he had his own secret to keep.

The next three days passed slowly, during which I proceeded to piss Jake off with countless texts asking when the car would be done. He was putting the finishing touches to it and I guess I expected him to drop everything else and just get to it, which obviously he didn't. Finally, Wednesday night he called me and asked me to get over to his place as soon as I could.

"You need help with something?" I asked, biting my lip. One day left and then it would be too late.

"Yeah, I need you to take your car home, it's taking up space," he replied and I could hear him grinning.

"It's done? Yes!"

I hung up without another word, burst out of the room I rented in Sam Uley's house and sprinted over to Jake's. I was forced to go on foot since I sold my old truck and my bike to fund the car project. Getting to work since had been a pain in the ass, either taking the bus or hitching a lift to Forks. Now finally I had wheels again and I seriously needed to think about changing my job. Fixing up the car had taken every dime I had and now the insurance and the gas were going to gobble up half my paycheck before I could even think about having it tuned properly.

When I arrived, the gleaming black beauty was sitting outside the shop, lit up by the fluorescents shining from the open doors. Jake appeared in the doorway, the keys dangling from one finger.

"Don't go and kill yourself the first time out, you got a hell of a lead foot," he said, tossing the keys to me.

"Fuck off," I beamed. For once, not even the fight I had with Jessica earlier over the fact that I was going to be away all weekend could keep me in a bad mood.

I walked around it slowly, eyeing everything I had already seen, but still a touch unable to believe that finally I had my dream. The paintwork was satin black, the Nismo bodykit making the car look bigger, lower and the whole thing set off by bronze Rays alloy wheels.

"Awesome," I muttered.

"Jerk," Jacob smirked. "Get out of here, I need to lock up."

"Thanks," I said. "Really, I know I've been an asshole over this."

"I won't argue with that," Jake nodded. "But I guess I can understand; you wanted the car since you got your permit."

I didn't waste any time in driving straight over to the gas station to fill up before heading out on the road to Forks. The car went like a dream and even though I didn't have the power I really wanted, three-eighty seemed like a hell of a lot compared to anything else I'd driven, with the exception of the one time Quil let me behind the wheel of Kermit for about thirty seconds until he realised I really did have a lead foot and then screamed at me to pull over before I hurt his baby. I'd laughed at the time, but now I could see his point. Anyone so much as breathed on my Skyline they would be toast.

I turned around reluctantly at the Forks border and drove back to Sam's, not wanting to waste all my gas when I was going to need a tank and a half to get to Kent and back. Much as I wanted to race it was probably a good thing that I couldn't - it would burn up a ton of fuel and my bank account was virtually cleaned out until I got my next paycheck. I fucking hated having no money.

Sam and Emily both came out at the sound of my arrival and admired my new wheels - yes, Emily was just as interested as Sam and walked around, peering at things and asking questions. Both she and Leah, Seth's elder sister, were pretty cool chicks as far as cars went. They always came to the shows and Leah was the proud owner of an old Mustang which she had managed to persuade her Dad to pass down to her rather than trade in a couple years before. It was a heap, but she was saving up for an overhaul and even in its battered state it was a man magnet. Leah was never short of boyfriends, although she was the least feminine girl I knew.

Thursday crawled by. I worked ten hours while the Skyline sat outside the warehouse making my colleagues green with envy, but at last it was over. Friday was a vacation day for me and the other guys were taking the day off too so that we could all head over to Kent in the middle of the day, set up camp and enjoy the evening's entertainment before the show started on Saturday. There was usually live music on, a drive-in type screen showing a movie, a bar and dancers and a firework display. A show and shine competition was held on Saturday and the whole weekend was filled with drag racing, monster truck displays, stunt driving shows, sometimes motorcycle stunts, plus there was the fairground and food stands and usually an appearance of some car-related star. For instance the previous year Lightning McQueen from the 'Cars' movies had appeared and prior to that there had been Bumblebee from 'Transformers', Herbie the Bug and the three Minis from 'The Italian Job'. It made it a suitable weekend for whole families and I knew Leah and Seth had both grown up attending the show with their parents and loving every second.

We set off at ten on Friday - a slightly longer convoy than usual. Sam and Emily led the way in the truck, stacked high with camping gear. After them went Jake in his 1967 Stingray and then me in the Skyline, then Kermit, Leah and Seth in the Mustang and Embry and Jared in Em's old Dodge Challenger. It looked like shit, but could give Kermit a run for its money on the quarter mile. Em was always more interested in speed than looks - it was the same with girls; as long as they put out he wasn't too bothered about the face, which made the episode with Alice Cullen all the more of a puzzle. She was pretty enough, but gave him virtually nothing. Usually there were more girls on the trip, but Jared's girlfriend Kim was sick, Quil's girl Marie hated cars about as much as Jess did and Embry and Seth were both currently single. Jake was still sour over Bella and not ready for a new girl so that left most of us on our own, which pleased me no end although I wasn't so sure about the others.

We made one stop en route for restrooms and food and arrived at Pacific Raceways just before two-thirty, the lumbering overloaded truck slowing down the pace somewhat. We all joined the lines of vehicles heading through the gates to the payment kiosks and I dug my wallet out again with a sigh. It was just as well I wasn't racing, it was another twenty-five bucks for five runs. I handed over a hundred for the weekend, took the brochure and ticket I was handed and followed the truck into the camping field.

Everyone spent the rest of the afternoon setting up tents and fighting over who would share with who. Sam was pissed that he got Jared and Seth instead of Emily, but with there only being two girls it made sense for them to share. Jake and Embry shared another tent and I got Quil. By the time we had finished setting up, the guys were all hungry and the two girls lit disposable barbeques to cook the food we had brought. Quil, Embry and I wandered over to the restrooms, passing the Cullens' camp on the way. None of them were around, but it was obvious from the circle of expensive cars who had set up there.

"Aren't you just dying to key one of those?" Quil said under his breath as we passed by and I snorted. Why he would want to put an idea like that in my head, I couldn't say; he knew full well I accepted any dare or hint given to me and would certainly relish spoiling one of the Cullens' days, even if it was childish.

We used the toilets, washed up and headed out again, taking the same route back, Quil and Embry walking slightly ahead, me with my hands stuck in my pockets, gazing around me. Apart from us, the camping area was mostly deserted, people having headed over to the entertainment a while back. I just couldn't stop myself; out of my pocket came my right hand with my car key in it and down the side of Jasper Cullen's M3 it went, leaving a very obvious score in the electric blue paint from nose to tail.

_"Paul!"_ Embry hissed, looking back over his shoulder. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What did he do?" Quil glanced back too and eyed the car. "Oh, my God, Paul, I can't believe you did that!"

"Nor can I. How old are you?" grumbled Embry. "Don't you think that's a bit beneath even you?"

"Aww, come on guys, it's just a bit of fun," I shrugged. "The little prick needs the wind taking out of his sails."

"Well, we better move it before one of them comes back and sees us near their cars," Embry frowned and marched off towards our camp.

Quil elbowed me and grinned now. "That was so wrong. Remind me never to piss you off."

It wasn't until the end of the night that I heard any more about it. Some of us went to watch the movie, 'Gone in 60 Seconds', the girls went to watch the band and Quil and I went to the bar, necked some beers and gawked at the dancers, hanging on until the bitter end when the others had already gone back to the camp.

We went over to the restrooms again and then walked over to the tents, making a slight detour to avoid passing too close to the Cullens. However, I couldn't help looking over that way at the sound of raised voices. They were clustered around the BMW, one of them holding a torch as they peered at the scratch.

"Who the hell would do this?" Emmett Cullen growled.

"Are you ok, Jas?" one of the girls asked, wrapping her arms around the younger guy, who appeared to have his hands over his face.

"Shit," I muttered as we walked away. For once in my life I was actually hit by a pang of guilt. My childish idea of fun hurt someone and I immediately imagined how I would feel if I returned to the Skyline, having only just got my much longed for pride and joy on the road, only to find it deliberately damaged.

"What's up?" asked Quil as we ducked into the tent.

"Nothing," I sighed.

"Liar." Quil began stripping down to his shorts and got into his sleeping bag. "Not worried about that guy's car, are you?"

"Will you shush?" I hissed, aware that only canvas separated us from the rest of the group and I was damned sure Sam and Emily wouldn't be impressed by my antics.

"Growing a conscience, Paul?" Quil whispered, giggling softly in the darkness.

"Fuck off," I muttered, peeling my jeans off.

"You could always go over there and comfort him."

"Quil!"

"Well, how long is it since your last adventure in PA? A month? Two?"

"Damnit, Quil, will you keep your voice down?" I whispered anxiously.

Quil sniggered and the sound was quickly smothered, presumably by him pressing his face into his pillow.

"I never did get what the big deal was," he said then. "No one would even care, you know. Except maybe Jess and you want rid of her anyway."

"Yeah, well, they're never going to find out, so drop it." I flopped down onto my inflatable mattress, too hot for the sleeping bag.

"Fair enough. What do you think of him though?" Quil persisted.

"Who?"

"Jasper Cullen."

"Not my type. Go to sleep before I knock you out with something."

Quil just laughed some more. "You are too easy to get a rise out of."

I grabbed one of my boots from the side of the tent and threw it at him, hearing a muffled grunt as it hit some part of his anatomy.

"Jerk," he hissed.

I ignored him, turning away on the narrow mattress and closing my eyes. He was right; it was way too long since the last time I fooled around with a guy and I decided the first thing I would do the following weekend was get over to Port Angeles and do exactly that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed or saved an alert; happy to know you're enjoying my latest so far :o)**

CHAPTER TWO

**Paul's POV**

All of us were up early in the morning. Seth and Leah went to one of the food bars and returned with a stack of bacon sandwiches and paper cups of steaming coffee, which we all downed quickly before getting to work on the cars.

Jacob and I were putting the Stingray and the Skyline in the show and shine competition and began washing off the dust from the journey before bringing out wax and rags and starting on the polishing. Some of the others helped, while Quil and Jared drove off to get an early start at the quarter mile without having to line up for too long. By the time they returned after two runs, having won one each, the rest of us were ready to take a walk around the venue to see what else was going on. Jake and I moved our cars into the show field first and then wandered around, Seth and Embry both snapping everything in sight with their cameras.

There was everything you could imagine there, from old classics to supercars to modified imports. Much to my annoyance I found myself admiring the midnight purple ZR1 next to the yellow Porsche in the centre of the show area. Damn Edward Cullen for having probably the best car in the whole showground as usual. It had a horde of people flocking around it and I would have given just about anything to go and have a proper look, but I refused to give that family the satisfaction.

"Don't even think about it," Embry whispered to me as we walked by.

"What?" I said innocently.

"Damaging it."

"Like I'm going to do that with fifty people watching," I scoffed, glancing over at the car again. The Cullen guy with the ridiculous hair was standing there talking to a couple who had been taking photos and as they turned away from him, suddenly he was looking at me with a self-satisfied smirk. I scowled back, longing to go and wipe it off of his face. Embry grabbed my arm and dragged me away.

"I don't get why you hate them so much, it's not like any of them ever did anything to you," he said.

"No, but they fucked with you and Jake and Jared, isn't that enough?" I grunted.

"Not really, you're just jealous because they have more money," said Embry mildly. "Get over yourself. You got an awesome car now; the hell with them."

I suppose in a way he was right; I had developed a pretty irrational dislike for the whole family for no real reason other than the fact that they had everything or could get anything they wanted and I had a shit job, a girl I didn't really want, a secret I didn't think my friends would accept and as for my family...the less said about them the better. Still, most of that I could fix if I got my head out of my butt.

The day progressed well enough; mostly I hung out with Quil and Embry and was delighted when I found half a dozen people around my car with their cameras out. I wandered over, trying not to grin like a fool and opened the door to get something from the glovebox that I didn't need, just to show that it was mine.

"Nice car, buddy," a random guy said as soon as I straightened up. "I'd love one of these. What sort of power is it putting out?"

"Only three-eighty right now, I've been getting the chassis and bodywork done first so it at least handles and looks decent."

"Guess it must cost a bit to do all that," he nodded. "My paycheck won't run to a good car right now."

"Yeah, well I used up quite a few of mine getting this far," I told him. "Need a better job."

"Don't we all. Warehouse salary is shit," he grimaced.

I nodded in sympathy. The guy had plenty in common with me and my mood lightened further. From now on I was determined I would just ignore the Cullens and enjoy what I had, at least for the rest of the weekend, although it was only another couple hours before that proved easier said than done.

Quil and Jared each had three runs left on the quarter mile and the rest of us watched two of them. The lines were uneven and they were up against other random drivers. Both our guys got over the finish line first and rejoined the lines for their last run. It would take probably at least forty-five minutes for them to get their chance again and we left our seats in one of the stands and walked down to the bar close to the other end of the strip to grab a few beers and use the restrooms there.

By the time we had all finished washing up we decided to stay down there and wait for the guys to rocket past us rather than return to the start and it was only around ten minutes before Jared was up. You couldn't exactly see from that distance who was waiting at the lights, but the guy in the box overlooking the start announced each vehicle and we hadn't seen any other Dodge Challengers racing, so guessed it was him. He made it over the line a full second before the other guy and the rest of us all cheered and then waited around for Quil.

Probably ten pairs raced while we waited and one jerk blew his gearbox and crawled over the line just as the clock showed twenty seconds. Kermit was up next and by then Jared had parked and come over to join us. We leaned on the fence eagerly, squinting into the distance as the Evo 6 was announced along with its opponent, an orange Mustang.

"Emmett Cullen," Jared said at once. "I saw him a few cars behind me in the line."

"Kermit will smoke him," I said eagerly, necking the last of my beer and dropping the bottle before leaning further over the fence. It was easy to see a speck of almost fluorescent green in the far distance. "Come on, Quil."

A moment later the lights changed and the two cars began to race towards us, the screaming engines becoming louder as they got closer and faster. Quil was inching ahead, but not by much. He was on the far side from where we were standing and Embry elbowed me as I started shouting.

"Fucking floor it!"

"Jesus, Paul, there's little kids behind us!"

Suddenly those few remaining seconds that it would take for the cars to get over the finish line seemed to stop and all of us froze as we watched the Mustang slide out of control, wheels spinning up, swerving to the right and colliding with Kermit at what I estimated to be around a hundred miles per hour. The Mustang skidded back the other way, turning ninety degrees before flipping and finishing up on its roof in the middle of the track. Meanwhile Kermit smashed into the barriers at the far side, launched into the air, came down nose first and cartwheeled several times. Before it had even come to a stop we were all beginning to scramble over the fence onto the track and run towards the crippled cars approximately a hundred yards away from where we had been standing.

Everyone of course pounded towards Kermit, yelling Quil's name and various expletives, but as I glanced over towards the Mustang and saw Emmett crawling out of the wreckage, I changed direction. Already sirens could be heard as the on-site ambulance and rescue truck began hurtling towards us and Quil had seven of us already with him. Rage filled me and blocked out everything else as I skidded to a halt and looked down at the perpetrator of the accident, still on hands and knees, shaking his head as blood dripped from some wound I couldn't see. All that I could think was that Emmett lost control of his car because he was a jerk, he wasn't concentrating or the car had some problem. Whatever had happened, it was his fault that Kermit was obliterated and Quil probably hurt because of him.

"You fucking asshole!" I snarled, stooping to grab Emmett by the fronts of his leather jacket and drag him to his feet. He was a big guy, similar build to me but an inch or so taller and he weighed a fucking ton. He staggered slightly and clamped a hand heavily onto my shoulder. I noticed a deep cut to his temple oozing thick blood which covered the left side of his face and dripped from his chin.

"What the hell were you thinking, you jerk! You shouldn't be on the fucking strip!" I roared, shaking his hand off of me. Injured or not, I drew my hand back, curling it into a first and aiming it at his face. It collided with his jaw a second before he stumbled again and lost his balance, landing hard on his knees.

"There was...oil..." he gasped. "Skidded."

"Bullshit! Is that the best you can come up with?" I kicked him and he fell over backwards. He coughed and spat blood, then seemed to get it together.

"You're a fucking jerk, Lahote, your friend's right over there probably hurt and all you care about is attacking me?" He sat up, his arms coming out rapidly and catching me before I could move, knocking me off of my feet. Winded, I struggled to get up and Emmett's huge fist landed on my nose. I felt the blinding pain as it broke and blood gushed from both nostrils and down the back of my throat.

"It wasn't my fault!" Emmett bellowed at me. "You think I took the guy out on purpose? I don't even fucking know him!"

"I meant you're a shit driver!" I spat, coughing up blood. I felt like I might vomit at any moment and my nose hurt like a son of a bitch. I wanted to hit him again, but I wasn't sure I could summon up the strength. The worst thing was that I knew he was right - here I was fighting with him when I should have been with Quil. My best friend.

I turn around and looked at Kermit, mangled and hooked on the fence. No way would Quil walk away from that, if he could even walk at all. Emily was sobbing in Sam's arms, Leah yelling and spitting a string of obscenities, Jared, Jake and Seth all trying to force open one of the doors as paramedics leaped out of the ambulance and ran to them. I scrambled to my feet and lurched forwards, but immediately stumbled right into the arms of a cop. Shit. He gripped my arms and stared sternly down at me. The guy must have been six-five at least.

"Time to calm down, buddy," he said.

"I am calm!" I exclaimed. "I need to see my friend's ok."

"He's got people taking care of him. You're going to have to come with me."

"What the fuck? Get the hell off of me!" Yeah, Paul, great way to talk to a cop. Of course he wasn't having it. He pointed out that fighting on the drag strip in front of families, not to mention the fact that I attacked an injured man for no apparent reason required at least a caution and possibly a charge depending on whether my victim wanted to press charges.

"Victim!" I coughed, grimacing at the taste of blood. "He broke my fucking nose!"

"And he will be dealt with appropriately after a paramedic has seen him."

"No need for that, I'm a doctor and he's my son." Carlisle Cullen arrived at a run with the rest of them behind him, all looking at me like I was something they had trodden in.

A second cop appeared and stood over Emmett as my captor began to lead me away. I tried to jerk my arm free of his hold and failed. I had to see Quil was ok. It was all I could think about now and I wished it had been all I could think about moments ago when I was bashing Emmett and giving myself a reason to be arrested. Unable to get free of the cop's steely grip, I made matters a dozen times worse for myself by lashing out again. The cop blocked my punch before it connected with his head, but in seconds I found myself cuffed and being marched away, a secure grip on the back of my neck.

Nothing I said made any difference. I tried repeating that I was worried for Quil and I pointed out that I could choke on my own blood, plus I was in agony and needed to see a paramedic myself, but the response was merely a string of babble which in effect meant 'tough shit.' I found myself in the back of a cop car, my hands freed from behind my back, but one of them cuffed to a steel loop on the inside of the door. The big guy then sat down beside me and handed me a wad of tisses as the female driver began to steer the car towards the gates.

"Where are you taking me? My car's here! What about my friend?" I demanded.

"You'll be taken to the station nearby and seen by the on-duty doctor, then given a chance to calm down before we interview you."

That was all he would say and since I had stupidly managed to leave my cellphone in the tent, I couldn't even call or text one of the others and let them know what happened, or ask about Quil. It was all my own fault, every bit of it. The trouble was I never learned; I was always in trouble for one stupid thing or another. I flew off the handle at the drop of a hat, I didn't think and I certainly didn't get my priorities right.

"Please, can you find out about my friend? His name's Quil Ateara," I said barely above a whisper.

"When we get to the station, providing you behave yourself, you'll be allowed a phone call."

It was the best I could get out of him and I sat back in the seat with a sigh, my head down as I pinched the bridge of my nose in an effort to stop the blood dripping out of it and down the front of my t-shirt, which mercifully was black. By the time the car pulled up in front of a police station, it had actually stopped and I estimated the drive to have taken around fifteen minutes. The cop hadn't spoken to me on the journey except to tell me his name was Officer Burnett. We were now somewhere in the middle of Kent and it looked like I would be there for some time.

I stayed quiet as I was checked in, giving my name and date of birth when asked and producing my driver's licence as identification. Then I was examined by the on-duty doctor who agreed my nose was broken. It had happened before and I knew it would hurt like hell for a while, I would get two black eyes if I hadn't already and it would heal by itself.

I expected to be asked about my fight with Emmett and then given my phone call if I told them what they wanted to hear, so when I was taken away down a corridor and ushered into a cell, my guts clenched in shock. It wasn't the first time I'd seen the inside of a cell, but right now it was the last place I wanted to be.

"Aren't you going to interview me?" I asked.

"When you've had chance to settle down."

"I'm fine," I said through gritted teeth. "I'm calm, I won't be any trouble."

"No, you won't."

The door closed and locked and I heard footsteps heading off up the corridor. I didn't even have chance to shout after him before I heard another door close and I was alone.

"Fuck!" I growled. I was locked in a fucking ten by six cell with nothing in it but a narrow bunk and a toilet and God alone knew how long they were going to leave me there to stew. I paced about for a moment and then sat down on the bunk, breathing deep and forcing myself not to lose it again. If I started yelling or smashed the damned bunk up, I'd probably stay here until I rotted with no news of Quil. I already had attacking Emmett and attempting to assault a police officer going against me.

I fumed silently for perhaps an hour, going over and over what had happened in my head. Quil would be alright; he had to be. Emmett walked away with just a cut on the head. I kept trying to tell myself that, but the sight of Kermit's violent crash kept replaying itself in my mind and I began to dread actually talking to any of the others and finding out maybe things were worse than I hoped. Eventually I heard voices and got up to go to the door hoping they were going to let me out, but instead it became clear that someone else was being brought in and taken to an interview room as doors opened and closed.

"This way, Mr Cullen..." I heard before the sound was cut off by the slam of a door.

They must have brought Emmett in. For fuck's sake, I had been here over an hour already and they hadn't said a word to me. I would bet anything he was just going to make up a whole load of shit and show me as the bad guy when he caused the fucking accident. My blood boiled and I paced around the tiny room, fists clenched, forcing myself to stay quiet. Minutes ticked by and eventually another hour was gone and I was still on my feet, unable to keep still. A door opened again and two sets of footsteps came down the corridor.

"There's no reason to keep him any longer, Dr Cullen, we have your number in case we need to talk to him again," a voice which I guessed belonged to another cop said. Another door opened and I heard more footsteps.

"Dad!" It sounded as if Emmett was choking, not the way you would with something stuck in your throat, but in an emotional way.

"Alright, son..."

The sound of rough sobs came to me and then loud sniffing and more footsteps going back the other way before doors opening and closing again. I felt my eyebrows drawing together in a puzzled frown. Emmett Cullen was crying? What the fuck for? He was getting out, wasn't he? Not being blamed for anything either, by the sounds of it. I jumped as a loud click came right in front of me and my door opened.

"Come this way, Mr Lahote."

"What happened?" I asked the cop. It was the same one who had arrested me, Officer Burnett, and rather than glaring at me he looked sympathetic. He directed me into an interview room, presumably the one Emmett had left since the chairs were pulled away from the table and a half-drunk mug of coffee sat in the middle of it. Another cop stood in the corner and he took one of the seats, offering me another. I sank onto it and rested my elbows on the table as Burnett sat beside me.

"We have some news about your friend," was the first thing he said. "I'm afraid it's not good."

I licked my dry lips. "Is he...ok?" I didn't dare say 'alive'. My heart began to hammer and my stomach turned over as I waited for an answer.

"I'm sorry, Mr Ateara didn't make it. His injuries caused by the impact were too severe. He was gone before the paramedics were able to get him out of the car."

"He's...dead?" It didn't seem real, but as I saw Kermit somersaulting in my head again, I knew it was. Quil was gone. No one could have made it out of there unless they were Superman.

"I'm sorry," Burnett said. "Can we call someone for you?"

I shook my head. The others would have better things to do right now than visit the stupid selfish fucker that I was. I doubted the cops were going to let me out right away, even now and I wouldn't blame them one bit. I had to go and fuck up like I always did. I should have been with the guys, mourning Quil, comforting each other. What kind of person was I? Too eager to plant my fists in someone's face to even check on my best friend while he lay dying. I was a jerk and right then I hated myself, which really was nothing new. Even Emmett must have some form of conscience to be crying. They must have told him Quil died and he blamed himself, even if what he said was true and there was oil on the strip.

I felt numb. I wished I could have burst into tears and howled like a normal person, but I couldn't do anything at all except sit there and stare at the table top.

"What about your parents?" Burnett suggested and I heard myself snort.

"You think I have parents who give a shit?" Maybe if I did, I wouldn't be such an asshole.

"It would be better for you to have someone with you."

"I'm fine," I grunted. "If you have questions you want to ask me, could you get on with it already?"

The pair of them did just that. They asked why I felt the need to attack Emmett which I thought was kind of obvious, but I just answered in a monotone and every word I spoke made me sound more ridiculous, especially when Burnett told me the Mustang really had skidded on oil. The car which had a gearbox problem had dumped a good amount of its oil and at the time the guys running the show hadn't noticed or thought to check. It had been an accident, pure and simple. Quil could have hit the oil himself if he'd been in the other lane and the outcome may or may not have been different.

At the end of the interview I expected to be returned to my cell, but much to my surprise Burnett told me that 'Mr Cullen' had decided not to press charges and that I should call someone to come get me. Despite me already having a record, they agreed to overlook my attempt to punch Burnett, given the circumstances. A cordless telephone was placed in front of me and I stared at it blankly. I wanted to call Sam, but for the life of me I couldn't remember his number. The only one that did come to me was Embry's and he was going to be pissed as hell. The only one of us that Quil had been almost as close to as me, was Em. I keyed in his number reluctantly and waited for him to answer. It rang and rang and just when I expected his answer service to kick in, he picked up.

"Yes?"

"Em, it's..."

"Where the fuck are you?" he demanded.

"I...uh..." I held the phone away from my ear briefly. "Where am I?"

"Kent County Police Station, on the corner of North West and Pacific," Burnett said.

I repeated this to Embry and he swore again. "You are such a fucking jerk, Paul!"

"I..." I meant to say 'I know', but he had already hung up and I had no idea whether he would come for me or not.

Burnett now showed me into another room which was more like a small lounge, with a drinks machine and a basket of snacks on the table.

"Help yourself, " he told me. "If you want anything, either myself or another officer will be through that door." He indicated and then left me to it.

I just stood there in the room, staring at the drinks machine. Quil was dead. He was really gone and the others probably all hated me, although they would be hard pushed to think less of me than I did myself. I poured myself some coffee and sat down at the table although I proceeded to simply look at the paper cup while the coffee gradually went cold.

Quil had been the only one who really understood me; the only one I had confided everything to. He had teased and tormented me about things from time to time, but he never let me down like I had him. I guess I could say in a way I had kind of loved him; he was the first guy I ever slept with, even if we had decided at the end of the summer we were never going to be a couple. I smiled sadly as I thought about it. We had been seventeen and pretty frantic to get our hands on each other at every opportunity for about a month, until we realised it was probably going to kill our friendship in the end and he was only filling in time until he could get a girl. We went back to being only friends, just closer than before. He never went with another guy, but eagerly awaited news of my exploits each time I took off to the gay club in Port Angeles.

"Fuck," I muttered, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes. All that was over now and I had never felt more lost in my life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone for reviewing the last chapter and also to those of you who simply read it. I know the chapter was a bit of a shock and this one is likely to be rather sad, but still, hope you continue to enjoy :o)**

CHAPTER THREE

**Paul's POV**

I waited in the room for maybe an hour before Burnett came to tell me one of my friends was at the front desk. I walked out quickly, a knot in my stomach and found Embry standing there impatiently. His face was pale, his eyes red and puffy from crying. When he saw me he simply turned and went outside without a word. My heart sank as I followed. I wasn't really surprised by Embry's attitude although I didn't expect to see my Skyline outside waiting for us. I opened my mouth to say 'give me the keys', but he was already pulling open the driver's door.

"Get in," he grunted and those were the only words he spoke to me on the fifteen minute drive back to Pacific Raceways. He simply stared at the road ahead, his lips pressed together in a thin line. I had absolutely no idea what to say to him so I stayed quiet. When we pulled up close to the other cars he turned the engine off, left the keys in and got out leaving me sitting there.

The others had already taken the tents down and Sam, Seth and Jared were busy stashing everything into the truck. Emily and Leah were sitting on the ground holding hands, their heads down. I slowly got out of the car, wondering if any of them would speak to me and much to my surprise it was Leah who got to her feet and came to me.

"God, Paul," she said hoarsely. "I can't believe this has happened." She wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her face into it. I hugged her, feeling her tears on my skin.

"I'm sorry," I said, thinking it sounded wrong. He was my friend too and I sounded like I was offering someone else condolences. I supposed I was saying sorry for my behaviour.

"Don't be stupid," Leah said softly. "I wanted to do the same thing." She raised her head slightly. "What did it feel like?"

"What?"

"Punching that smug son of a bitch."

"Satisfying right up until he broke my nose and I came to my senses and realised Quil wasn't going to walk away from that. But I shouldn't have done it. The others hate me."

"They don't, they just don't understand. They'll be fine." She drew back. "He was closer to you than any of us. I can't imagine how you feel right now."

"Numb," I said honestly. "Everyone else is crying..." I glanced past her at Sam who now had his arms around Emily, and Seth and Embry who were holding onto each other and sniffing. "I just...can't."

"Some people don't," Leah said sensibly. "It'll probably hit you later or next week or something. Look at me crying like a fucking girl." She scrubbed her hands over her cheeks and smiled wanly. "They're taking his body back to the Res in the ambulance. Fuck, we still have to tell his family. The cops were going to call them, but Sam told them not to; he thought it would be better coming from us."

"I'll do it," I said without thinking about it. It was the least I could do, I thought.

Leah nodded slowly. "Did they charge you?" she asked then.

"No. The Cullens didn't press charges and they overlooked me trying to hit the cop."

"That's a relief. I wish Jess was here for you."

"Well, I don't," I said at once. Hell, she would have been a nightmare, squealing and crying and making like the whole thing was about her. "I'm going to break up with her," I added.

"Really?" Leah raised an eyebrow. "It's about time. I never did think she was right for you - too girly."

I snorted quietly. She had no idea how true that statement was.

"Guys, we're ready to hit the road," Sam said at that moment. Leah left me and went to join Seth. I just stood there for a moment until Sam came over.

"You alright?" he grunted. I nodded slowly and he returned to Emily. That was all he said to me until we got home.

We all drove straight to the nearest gas station to fill up and then made the journey home without stopping. Everyone scattered the minute we entered the Reservation and I followed Sam and Emily home. As soon as we parked up I decided to go see Quil's Mom and Gramps and Sam immediately abandoned unloading the truck and walked with me, saying I shouldn't have to do that on my own.

"I'm fine, you should stay with Emily," I protested.

"She's going to see her parents, she's ok," he said.

"The others are really pissed at me," I commented needlessly as we walked.

"They'll get over it. It's not the best thing you've ever done, Paul, but I get why you did it. What did the cops say?"

"Not much." I repeated what I had told Leah and Sam nodded. Moments later we reached Quil's house and what followed was an agonising half hour where I explained what had happened and Sam added that Quil was being brought back to the Reservation. Both the Atearas broke down and it was especially tough seeing Gramps cry. He was one of the elders, a strong man even in his seventies and he seemed to suddenly age and crumble before our eyes. Sam was sniffing discreetly and chewing his lip by the time we left, but I remained closed off and emotionless. There just seemed to be nothing in me. Inside, it hurt like I'd been kicked in the stomach, as if I struggled to breathe, but I didn't feel like crying or moping or losing my temper - I was empty and it made me feel like a cold, heartless freak.

I stayed that way for two weeks. I talked to Jessica on Monday night when she called me, having heard the news and wondered why I hadn't been in touch. She had sent me a dozen messages, she said, but my cell phone battery had died and I'd forgotten to recharge it. I told her calmly that it was over and we shouldn't see each other any more. Her reaction began with shocked disbelief, then rage and finally tears and begging. How could I do this to her? Didn't I know she loved me? Didn't I know I was breaking her heart?

"I'm sorry, but if we carry on I'll just make you miserable," I said.

"I'm miserable _now!"_ she wailed.

"You'll get over it." I couldn't think of anything else to say and comforting her when I'd seen Mrs Ateara and Gramps react to Quil's death not twenty-four hours before wasn't something I could do. They had a real reason to be heartbroken after all. I hung up. She tried calling me again several times that night and for the next couple days, but I ignored it and after Wednesday she didn't call again. Instead Leah called to tell me in a slightly amused tone that I was the biggest cocksucker in the state and I should hope to God nobody ever broke my heart.

"You've been talking to Jess," I said wrily.

"Got it in one. You told her to fuck off apparently."

"Not quite in those words, but the meaning was the same."

"Are you ok?"

"You're kidding, right? I'm glad to get her off of my back," I said.

"Not that, you jerk. Everything else."

"I guess. I didn't crack up yet."

"Give it time," said Leah. "You'll feel better when you do."

I was still thinking I was unnatural when I stood at Quil's graveside with Sam and Emily and the others, watching his casket lowered into the ground while everyone around me dabbed at their eyes and noses with hankerchiefs and tissues and I bowed my head and felt nothing except emptiness. I missed him. I missed talking him, taking the piss out of him, pretending to be mad when he teased me. I missed his quirky smile, stupid giggle, ability to make everybody laugh and I missed the awful colour of Kermit pulling up outside Sam's house or the garage. I felt like a piece of me was missing and it hurt, but there should have been something more and there just wasn't. I went on through each day like a machine without thinking much and wishing to God I could feel.

A week after the funeral I received a call from a lawyer asking to meet with me and all I could think for a moment was that I was in the shit for punching Emmett or trying to hit the cop after all and I was about to be hauled into court. However, the guy went on to tell me it was connected to Quil's death and that he would be happy to meet with me at my home should I prefer it. Puzzled, I agreed for him to visit at six o'clock the next day and then told Sam and Emily about it. They were as surprised as I had been and Sam jokingly said that Quil must have remembered me in his Will.

"Bullshit," I responded. "Quil didn't have a Will, he was twenty-three years old, for Christ's sake. Besides, he didn't have anything to leave."

"Well, I don't know what else it could be," Sam shrugged.

The three of us awaited the arrival of the lawyer curiously and he arrived at exactly six o'clock as promised. Emily let him in and showed him into the lounge where Sam and I were sitting, introducing us before sitting down herself. The guy was probably fifty, a stuffy-looking man in a three piece suit, glasses perched on the end of his nose, peering over them at me as he pointed out that the matter was confidential.

"Sam and Emily are family," I said. "Anything you have to say, you can say in front of them."

"Very well. Mr Lahote, your friend, Mr Ateara left a Will, the contents of which were read to his family earlier today and his wishes carried out. In addition he requested that this letter be passed to you." He rose from his seat and crossed the room to give me an envelope, then went to sit down again. I glanced at Sam whose eyebrows were raised.

"How long ago did Quil - Mr Ateara - arrange this?" I asked.

"A year ago."

A year ago I had been in court - again - hoping to get off lightly after I'd split someone's lip and blacked both their eyes in a bar fight. They hadn't charged him because it was a first offence and I already had a record, but I had got away with a fine and 200 hours of community service. Now I looked again at the sealed envelope which had my name written on it in hand-writing I didn't recognise.

"Who wrote this?"

"Myself. The envelope contains the letter and something else Mr Ateara wished for you to have."

Biting my lip I tore open the envelope and pulled out a folded sheet of paper and another smaller envelope. The sheet of paper had my name written on the outside in Quil's terrible scrawling hand. I had always teased him about it and said it was a damned good job he operated his business online so he never had to write anything. Now I opened out the sheet of paper and began to read.

_"Paul, if you're reading this then I guess I'm gone. I know exactly what you're thinking – jerk, why would he make a Will in his Twenties? Well, you know what a boy scout I am, always prepared for everything. You can never know what's around the corner. So here are some instructions for you; I know you wouldn't have let me do this when I was alive, but now you have to do what I say, last request and all that._

_"You and I both know there's more to you than you let on, but your temper gets in your way. You have to cool it and get over all your shit, stop getting in trouble or you're always going to have a record, or maybe worse one day. You're better than that whether you believe it or not._

_"With this letter comes a sum of money which I want you to put to good use; don't piss it away or spend it on cars, make yourself a future. I have faith in you and I know you can turn things around, whatever anybody else might say. Remember that when you make it, I'll be cheering from the sidelines._

_"One more thing; don't be alone, Paul. I know there's somebody out there who you can trust the way you did me, who can be even more to you if you let them. Now, don't fucking cry – get on with things! Show everyone what you're made of._

_"Love always, Quil."_

Refolding the letter, I carefully opened the smaller envelope and pulled out a check - a check for twenty thousand dollars.

"Shit," I groaned, dropping my head into my hands. My eyes burned with the tears that had refused to make an appearance in two weeks and as usual, I did exactly what Quil told me not to – I bawled.

"Paul...what did it say?" Emily asked softly, her hand touching my shoulder. I passed her the letter and the check and got up to go to my room. I closed the door quietly, threw myself onto the bed and wept into the pillow.

I couldn't remember the last time I cried - it was probably the day I realised I was never going to see my brother Peter again and that my Dad somehow in his twisted mind blamed me for the fact that he was gone. After that I decided that crying was a waste and that I wouldn't shed one more tear when it wouldn't do me any good. Now out poured years' worth which had apparently been bottled up somewhere inside me waiting for something to smash through the dam holding them there - something like Quil's letter.

I sobbed until I choked and couldn't breathe and had to lean out of the window and throw up. Then I simply collapsed back on the bed and cried some more. Quil was gone; he was never coming back to tease and torment me or to kick me in the ass again for being a jerk. Through everything I had done he believed in me - enough to leave me an impossible amount of money and a whole heap of trust that I would do something good with it. Twenty grand? Where the fuck did he get that kind of money? I had thought he spent every spare cent he had on Kermit.

"Paul?" Emily stuck her head cautiously around the door. "Can I come in?"

I sat up hastily, snuffling and wiping nose and eyes on my sleeve.

"Uh...yeah...I guess."

She closed the door after her and leaned on it for a moment, then crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed facing me.

"The lawyer left. I showed Sam the letter, I hope that was ok."

"Sure." I cleared my throat. "Where would he get that much money?"

"The guy explained before he went. Apparently Quil was a much better stock broker than any of us even guessed. He had started doing well for his clients and decided to dabble with some of his own money; only a thousand dollars. He was just clever and patient. I don't understand all of that stuff, but in two years he had thirty grand and that was when he made the Will. He promised twenty to you and any remaining funds to his Mom and Gramps. I don't know how much they got, but it was a lot more than you."

"Fuck," I muttered. "What am I going to do with it, Emily?"

"It's something you're going to have to think about for a while. You know what the letter said..."

"Don't piss it away or spend it on cars, I know. Don't worry. I'm a jerk, but not so much that I would make him ashamed when he's not here to kick my butt any more." I sighed heavily. "My head is kiling me, I'm just going to crash; I'll start thinking about it tomorrow."

"Ok, I'll leave you to it." Emily got up at once and I was grateful to her for immediately taking the hint. She said goodnight and left the room, placing the letter and check that she had in her hand on the chest by the door on her way out.

I went to the bathroom, then stripped my clothes off and got into bed, but it was a long time before I slept. I couldn't stop thinking about Quil, making all that money and never letting on how rich he was, but that was him through and through. He was too modest to make a big deal out of anything he did.

I thought about when I first met him when we were fourteen. Dad and I had just moved to the Reservation from Tacoma and it was the middle of the summer holidays so school was out. I was lost without Peter and I spent every day out of the house, whatever the weather, avoiding Dad. I met Quil and Embry on the beach and just as we were getting to know each other the heavens opened as they usually did in La Push and we ran to Quil's house which was closest. Embry went home and I stayed the rest of the day. After that we were inseparable. I told him everything and he kept it to himself as if he knew without me telling him that I didn't want him to talk about me.

I was expelled from school when I was sixteen for fighting and then trying to punch a teacher when they interfered. It was my first time in court and after that the only job I could get was in a warehouse where no one cared how many black marks I had against me. I had a huge fight with Dad and left home and it was Quil who quickly discovered I was sleeping in my truck on the beach. He somehow managed to convince Sam and Emily to give me a chance and a bed and told me I had better respect them and not make them regret it or he'd kick my butt. The idea of Quil actually kicking my butt was pretty funny, but I managed not to fuck up for a while and by then Sam and Emily actually seemed to like me and helped keep me out of trouble, not that they always succeeded.

It was the summer right after I moved in with them that I discovered I was gay. Well, I told myself I was bi and I chased girls along with the other guys; slept with them too and since I managed to do it convincingly I guessed I must like them. Sam and Emily had gone away on vacation for two weeks, reluctantly leaving me alone at the house and begging me not to trash it or get myself locked up in their absence. I did neither, but I spent so much time with Quil I didn't get the opportunity for trouble. He came over the first day of my freedom and brought beer and we made our way through a half dozen bottles each, watching a shit movie and teasing each other as usual. Later I grabbed the television remote and hunted for something else to watch, stumbling upon a porn channel which you had to pay extra to the TV company for at the end of the month. Sam dealt with the bills and I doubted he would care if the worst I did in his absence was watch porn, so I selected one and we carried on drinking and watching.

We were both slouching on the sofa with our feet on the coffee table, the room dark except for the TV as it was around midnight by then. Of course the movie made me horny, I expected it to, and after a brief sideways glance at Quil whose eyes were glued to the set, I began surreptitiously rubbing myself through my pants, hoping he wouldn't notice. Eventually somehow the thought of him looking over and catching me began to make me more excited and I started to be less sneaky about it, part of me now wanting him to see me. I knew it would feel a hell of a lot better with my hand inside my pants and paused while I wondered if unzipping them would really be going too far. Then I got the shock of my life when Quil's hand suddenly appeared in my lap and gave the hard bulge in my pants a squeeze. I sucked my breath in and held it, nor daring to move or say anything and wondering if I had fallen asleep and was dreaming. If that was the case, it was a hell of a fucked up dream.

I wasn't dreaming. While I sat there holding my breath in shock, Quil pulled my zipper down and slid his hand inside, drawing my cock out of my boxers and wrapping his fingers around it firmly. I simply stared down at myself, unable to believe that was really his hand touching me. I watched as he slowly began to jack me off, not saying anything, just rubbing and squeezing, gradually picking up speed until I was frantic and thrusting myself eagerly into his hand. I came everywhere - all over my shirt, pants and Quil's hand - and I was panting and sweating and suddenly longing to do the same thing for him.

We didn't talk about it at all, we just did it, every night for the rest of the week until suddenly things moved on pretty rapidly. We had got to the point where we would go in my room, strip naked and lie on the bed together jacking each other off, but that Saturday night things changed. I had my eyes closed, biting my lip as Quil's hand worked me, when suddenly I felt a whole new sensation - his hot wet mouth sucking gently on my head, tongue teasing me while his hand continued sliding up and down my shaft. I lasted seconds and he swallowed every drop, leaving me drained but extremely keen to return the favour, which I did with gusto.

Quil stayed over that night and the first thing we did the next morning when waking was get right down to it again and somehow we didn't really leave my room all day except for brief trips to the bathroom and to get food. That was the first day we actually both fucked and kissed and afterwards Quil couldn't get out of the house fast enough. I didn't regret it - far from it - but it seemed that he did and I tortured myself for twenty-four hours, too embarrassed to call him until he turned up again and pounced on me.

When Sam and Emily returned we carried it on for a couple more weeks until Quil had to go back to school and then had a pretty awkward conversation where he suggested we cool it and I, knowing he hadn't been as much into the whole thing as I had, suggested we drop it altogether and go back to being friends. Somehow after a couple days we put it behind us and just ended up closer friends than before. He never did it again with another guy, although after a year of trying to convince myself I preferred girls too, I accepted I had been kidding myself and hooked up with some random guy on vacation, then continued seeking them out every few months in Forks, much to Quil's amusement. He was always egging me on to just tell everyone, which I'd managed to avoid for five years and since I never did more than fool around with any of them for a few hours, there had been no need for anyone to find out.

I smiled slightly in the darkness, knowing that what Quil meant in the last paragraph of his letter was about me finding a guy who was more to me than a quick fumble after a few drinks in the club - someone who would be my friend, lover and support - if such a person even existed. I shook my head. That was the last thing on my mind right now. First and foremost, I needed to decide what to do with the money and give him something to be proud of me for.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

**Paul's POV**

I had no clue what to do with the money. I banked the check and talked to Sam and Emily about it, having come to the conclusion that Quil intended for me to set up my own business, but in what? I didn't finish school, I didn't know anything except cars and fighting and all I got from the warehouse was how to lug things around and drive a forklift. I didn't even tell the other guys about the check or the letter - part of me worried they would be pissed Quil favoured me that way, although Sam told me I was being stupid and they would have all offered support if I asked for it.

A week later I went into Forks alone for a few drinks, deciding just getting out of the house might do me some good. I hadn't spent any time with the guys really since the funeral although we had talked on the phone a few times. Jake and Embry had both begged me to go over and hang out with them, but I knew I would be lousy company and refused. Instead I went to my usual haunt, Zieglers. I wasn't in the mood for hooking up with anyone, but I was used to the place and I spent a couple hours in there. Several guys tried hitting on me and I turned them down and left before eleven. As I walked down the street to the lot where I left the truck, I passed a very loud club with a flashing neon sign above the door and two security guys standing outside. To their left was a large painted sign - 'Wanted - Security Staff, Training Given, No Experiance Nessassary.'

"No English degree necessary either," I muttered. Even I knew how to spell. I paused for a moment, a vague idea beginning to materialise.

"You coming in or what?" one of the guys on the door asked me suddenly and I realised I was standing right in front of them, staring at nothing.

"No, I'm interested in the job," I said. "Who do I talk to?"

"The boss is in, I'll have a word. He's pretty desperate to get someone, he'll probably talk to you now. You got any experience?"

"It says you don't need experience," I pointed out.

"Just curious."

"Not exactly, but I can hold my own."

"Wait here a minute."

He disappeared inside and the second guy took the opportunity to introduce himself. His name was Gary and he had worked at the club for a year. He said the boss was a decent guy, the pay was good and they didn't care if you had a record.

"That's good to know," I nodded.

"What's yours for?"

"Fighting."

Gary snorted. "Done time?"

"No. A few fines and community service. You?"

"Six months a couple years ago."

That was encouraging. Gary had been in jail and still got a job here. I looked up as the first guy reappeared with an older man in a suit behind him.

"This is Mr Barraco," he said, indicating the boss.

"Paul Lahote." I offered my hand and Barraco shook it although he wasn't looking at my face - I noticed his eyes flicking over the muscles in my arms and chest before he finally did meet my eyes.

"Steve here tells me you're interested in the job. You want to come to my office and discuss it?"

I agreed at once and in moments found myself in a small office above the club, the door closed to shut the noise out. I took the chair in front of the desk where indicated. Barraco asked a series of questions - my age, whether I had any martial arts experience or weapons training and if not whether I would be willing to attend classes.

"Sure, I've no problem with that," I said at once. I had done kick boxing for a while in my teens, but as with everything else I had quit before I got anywhere with it. This seemed like an ideal opportunity to do something useful with myself. It would get me out of the warehouse and the wage Barraco mentioned was almost double what I was getting.

"Obviously it's unsociable hours," he added.

"I don't care about that. It sounds ideal."

I left fifteen minutes later with the promise of a job and the advice that Gary would call me the next day to go over some basic training for breaking up fights and removing unwanted club-goers without causing injuries. Gary would also direct me to some appropriate classes if I wanted. I went home and found Sam and Emily still up watching a movie.

"You look pleased with yourself," Sam commented.

"I got a new job."

"I thought you went out for a drink?" Emily said in surprise.

"I did." I threw myself into one of the armchairs. "But I had an idea." I didn't tell them what I'd spent the journey home thinking about, only the job for the time being. It might not work out after all, or I might change my mind, but it was an idea of something useful I could do with Quil's money that might actually set me on the right track. I decided to take things one step at a time rather than throw myself in head first without proper planning the way I usually did and see where I ended up.

"He seems pretty excited about just changing jobs," I heard Emily comment as I went into my room later.

"I think I would be after seven years in that damned warehouse," Sam said with a yawn.

I grinned to myself. I just hoped my idea would work out. In the meantime there was one person I could tell about it; someone I hadn't been to see since we buried him although he hadn't been off my mind for more than an hour or so at a time.

Sunday afternoon I went to the cemetery and lurked behind a tree when I spotted Leah and Seth at Quil's grave. They were sitting on the ground, but moments later got up and headed off in the opposite direction. I walked over and sat down in the spot they had vacated.

"Hey, buddy," I said quietly. "Sorry I haven't been to see you since the funeral, but I guess if you're really still around watching over us all you know I've been behaving like a jerk as usual. I miss you; I don't know who I'm going to talk to about stuff now. You I guess, like I am doing now.

"I hardly know what to say about the money. You shouldn't have or I don't deserve it seems pretty inadequate, so I guess I'm just going to do what you wanted and put it to good use. I had this idea..." I rambled on for perhaps thirty minutes, finding that actually putting my thoughts into words also gave me some direction and I began to feel more certain that I was on the right path.

By the time I left the cemetery I was decided on what I was going to do. Gary had called me and left a message while I was talking to Quil and I called him back as I walked home and arranged to spend Monday evening after I finished work going over the basics. The club didn't open on Mondays and he would be free for as long as it took. I would hand my notice in the same day, knowing I only had to work a week before I could leave.

It was pretty satisfying quitting the job that had bored me for so long and the boss, who wasn't impressed that he would now have to find a new worker, scoffed that I hoped I knew what I was doing as with my background no one in their right mind would want to employ me.

"Not in your right mind then, obviously," I sneered back, guessing I could afford to say what I liked now. It didn't go down well and I was told to pack up at the end of the day and not come back. He would pay me up to and including that day and that was it.

"Fine," I grinned. "Have fun finding a new guy."

I walked from the warehouse to Gary's apartment as arranged and he led me to a small martial arts club run by a friend, for which he had a key. No one else was in there and we spent a couple hours sparring and wrestling and then Gary acted out the role of drunk and violent patrons of the club while I as the doorman, calmed him down and evicted him repeatedly. Much to my surprise, I enjoyed every minute and afterwards we returned to his apartment and he conjured up mountains of pasta for dinner. As we ate, we talked about working at the club and classes I could take. His friend at the gym offered one-to-one tuition in kick boxing and jujitsu as well as group classes and I decided one-to-one would be the way to go. I would learn much faster and had the money to do this now. Gary called the guy while I was there and after a few minutes chatting, passed the phone to me.

I arranged two-hour sessions for every weekday afternoon starting the following day at four-thirty and when I hung up, Gary was looking at me in surprise.

"I thought you had to work notice?"

"Yeah, well I had a falling out with the boss this morning. He told me to pack up and go at the end of the day."

"That'll please Mr Barraco," Gary grinned. "He didn't want to wait a week for you to start; there's a bucks' party in the club Friday night, it'll be a nightmare." He grabbed the phone again. "Will you mind starting earlier than next week?"

"I'll start tomorrow if he wants," I said.

"Awesome."

The club boss was delighted by Gary's report that I was both free to start and up to the job already and it was arranged that I would start Tuesday night. The hours for Tuesday through Thursday were eight until one and on Fridays and Saturdays eight until three with two fifteen-minute breaks. Each guy only actually worked five shifts per week and the days off were rotated, weekend days off being given once a month. Smart shirts, pants and shoes were provided and the clothes would be washed and pressed and the shoes polished by a lady employed by the club. All I was required to do was turn up fifteen minutes before each shift started in order to get changed.

I took the bus home from Forks after I left Gary and rather than go straight home, I went over to Jacob's place. I felt guilty for avoiding them for so long. Sure, they had been pissed at me, but I hadn't really made any effort to move on from it.

I was in luck and Embry and Seth were hanging out with Jake in the garage, tinkering with the Corvette. Seth was the first to see me and he came over immediately.

"Paul, where the hell have you been?" he exclaimed.

"I haven't really been out much. Sorry you haven't heard from me," I said.

"Leah said she talked to you."

"Yeah."

"How are you?" Embry asked.

"You know...same as everyone, I guess."

"You were the closest to him," said Embry.

I sighed heavily and Seth quickly changed the subject.

"Did you just come from work? Late, isn't it?"

"Actually, I quit my job today," I told him.

"What? That's pretty irresponsible, isn't it?" frowned Jake. "It's not like you can just walk into another one."

"Yeah, thanks for having so much faith in me. I got a new job starting tomorrow as a matter of fact. Less hours, double the pay and with a decent boss and work mates. So maybe you should get a few facts in future, Jake, before you're so quick to put me down."

"I'm sorry, I just thought..."

"That I'd mope about, quit working and live off of Sam and Emily like a fucking leech? You think I'd want Quil to see me do that, huh? After everything he did for me, despite the amount of times I fucked up?"

"Alright, Paul, cool it, he didn't mean anything," Embry said calmly while I seethed and ground my teeth. I couldn't really blame Jake's attitude and the only way to change it was to prove myself, but I was still pissed.

"What's the job?" Jake asked.

"Security at LA's."

"You should be good at that, bashing all the drunks," Seth grinned.

"Yeah, well it's not quite like that. The idea isn't to beat them up. I'm doing classes in kick boxing and jujitsu to help with that."

"Cool!" said Seth.

Embry and Jake's mouths dropped open at this statement and my temper evaporated. I smirked instead.

"What, you think I'm not capable of controlling myself? We'll see, won't we?"

"I'm more surprised that you're voluntarily taking classes and presumably paying for them," Embry said. "Didn't you do kick boxing for about three months when we were in school?"

"Yeah and I quit, but I was more of a jerk then. Ok, maybe not, but starting from now I plan to be less of a jerk," I said wrily. "I got some ideas for what I want to do now, that's all. This job is only the start of it."

"Oh? What are you going to do?" Seth asked at once.

"You'll see. I'm not blabbing about it yet except to say that I discovered a direction I want to go in and it might actually work out for me if I can manage not to fuck up."

"Well, whatever it is, good luck with it," Jake said, smiling at last. "Guess you could do with a break."

"Thanks."

I spent another hour or so with them before I went home to tell Sam and Emily the developments. They seemed pretty happy for me and neither one expressed anything other than encouragement.

"I'm using a little bit of the money for the classes," I added. "Just for the first week until I get a paycheck. It's weekly pay and a lot more than I was getting at the warehouse. I'll give you extra for my board too, Emily."

"Don't be silly, Paul, you don't have to do that," she said at once.

"Yeah, I do. You two have put up with me for a lot of years and bailed me out of the shit enough times. Besides, twenty bucks a week doesn't even cover what I eat, never mind anything else."

"Alright then, thank you, whatever you think is a suitable amount I'll be delighted with," Emily smiled. "So tell us more about this job."

By the time I went to bed I felt better than I had in a very long time. Even before Quil died I had been coasting and regularly fucking up, having no real purpose for anything except to get my Skyline on the road. Now suddenly it didn't seem so important any more. It was my baby, my pride and joy like Kermit had been Quil's, but making something of myself seemed to have jumped slightly ahead in my list of priorities. I just hoped I could live up to it, rather than fall at the first hurdle as usual.

The following day I turned up at the gym five minutes before the allotted time for my training session and spent two hours going over the basics of kick boxing, everything I had done before immediately coming back to me. I guessed somehow in my stupid teenage brain I had managed to retain at least some knowledge.

The session finished at six-thirty and I went over to Gary's place as arranged to have dinner before we set off to the club together an hour later. The other guys working that night were Steve who I had met before and a black guy called Ray who towered above everyone and had one of the most menacing faces I'd ever seen until he smiled; then he rapidly turned into a teddy bear and his sense of humour rivalled Quil's.

The four of us changed into the black pants and white shirts hanging in the locker room on the top floor of the building and then went down to begin work a few minutes before eight. My five-hour shift was to be on the door that night, accompanied by Ray. Standing there for that length of time, letting people in - or not if they were too drunk to string a sentence together - should have been boring, but the time flew by. Ray was great company and in between flirting with the female club-goers, he chattered away about everything from his life growing up in Forks to his baby sister who had shocked his parents by making an appearance twenty years after he had. He was now thirty-eight and she had just graduated high school. We got along like a house on fire and after the shift finished and we had all changed back into our regular clothes, Gary handed out beers to each of us and Mr Barraco appeared for a brief chat, locking up after we all headed outside just before one forty-five.

Sam had agreed to let me use his truck to get to work for the time being, since I would be unable to get a bus or hitch a ride the way I had done after work at the warehouse. Now I walked back to the gym where I had left it and drove home, a smile on my face. I had definitely made the right decision in taking the job and although it was only the first step on my new path, at least I was going to enjoy the first part of it until I moved on to the next.

The rest of the week went pretty well. My sessions at the gym alternated between kick boxing and jujitsu and I began to get to know the other guys at the club better. I already got along famously with Gary and Ray. Steve was a man of few words and usually looked grumpy, but he was pleasant enough if you spoke to him. The one who had his day off on Tuesday was a stocky guy named Terry who had red hair and freckles and loved cars just as much as I did. He had a Toyota Supra and it turned out he had been at Kent the same weekend I had been there.

"Some guy died on the strip," he said. "Did you see anything? We didn't get there until after, but we heard about it."

"Yeah, it happened right in front of me. He was my best friend," I told him, grimacing.

"Oh, shit, buddy, I'm sorry!" Terry's face turned as red as his hair.

"It's ok, you didn't know." Much as his comment stung, I felt a touch sorry for the guy, who proceeded to apologise several times until I told him to forget it and tell me about his car instead.

Friday of course was the bucks' party and it was Steve's night off. The party of around twenty guys turned up just after ten and proceeded to keep the bar girls constantly busy, one of them having left a credit card behind the bar so the others could order more drinks every time they felt like it. The noisy crowd gradually became the worse for wear, playing stupid games and tormenting girls on the dancefloor as they seemed hellbent on getting the groom laid one last time before he tied the knot.

Four hours later more than half of the guys had subsided onto some leather couches in one corner and were well on the way to passing out, while the remainder were still going strong, drunk as lords and singing along loudly to the club music. They all just seemed to be having a good time and Terry and I were keeping our eyes on them as we wandered around. It was only when four of the guys staggered up to the bar for more drinks, which the girls refused, that trouble started. Their reasoning was that they had a card behind the bar and therefore had the right to drink everything in the building if they so wished, but one of them could barely keep on his feet and another roughly shoved a fellow patron out of the way so that he could get to a bar stool. The guy turned and pushed him in response, knocking him off his feet and his three buddies immediately launched themselves into it.

It was the first time I had been called upon to break anything up, but with the state the guys were in, Terry and I simply pulled the fairly innocent bystander out from the heap of bodies and sent him on his way, then dragged two of the drunken bucks to their feet and hustled them to the door where Ron and Gary despatched them into the street. We returned for the other two, who had since decided to fight with each other and were rolling on the floor attempting to strangle each other. I grabbed the one uppermost in the squabble and hoisted him to his feet, gripping his arms firmly behind his back as I marched him to the door. He didn't put up much of a fight and his legs gave way twice before we made it outside. Then he simply went down on his knees and began to vomit.

"Exciting night," Ray said with a grin. "This is about as good as it gets. Most guys only want to fight when they're too drunk to think. We get the occasional dick with a chip on his shoulder though."

I cringed slightly. He sounded as if he were describing me. A vision of myself attacking Emmett Cullen slid into my mind and I hadn't even had the excuse of alcohol fuelling me; just a serious attitude problem.

The last hour of the night went quietly enough and the weekend was good; then it was two days off for me with my first day off being Tuesday. I went to my class as usual, which was jujitsu that day, then went over to Gary's place to make use of his shower and change. I had decided to do something with my night off and go to Zieglers with the idea of actually seeing if there was anyone in there I liked the look of. I wasn't too sure whether I really felt like hooking up or not, but it had been a long time and I felt somewhat different to the previous time I had been in there.

"Got a date?" Gary asked as I emerged from his bathroom in a black shirt and black jeans.

"No."

"Looking for one then?"

"Not really, I'm just going to hang out with a friend." No way in hell was I telling him I was going to Zieglers. I just hoped he or any of the other guys wouldn't see me go in there, or leave later.

Gary shrugged. "Cool, enjoy. I better get to work."

We set off at the same time and I took the opposite direction, then looped around and took a slightly convoluted route back to my destination. I didn't see anyone I knew and I went in, bought a drink and leaned on the bar, glancing around me the same way a number of other guys were doing. I could almost see Quil's smirking face, waiting for me to call him when I got home and tell him what I got up to.

I was on my second drink when some guy further down the bar met my eyes and smiled. He looked about the same height and build as me and had blond hair. I couldn't see the colour of his eyes, but they were fixed on me and he tilted his glass in my direction. I dropped my eyes and drained my drink, then looked back at him again. He was still staring and now raised an eyebrow. I pushed myself away from the bar and began to head towards him when something made me turn my head in the other direction and my eyes landed on...Emmett Cullen?

What the fuck was he doing in a gay bar? Same as me, apparently. Shit. He was probably out and proud and would be running around the whole of Forks tomorrow telling people what I was up to. Still, wouldn't it be common knowledge about him if that was the case? Wasn't he supposed to be dating his sister - adopted sister? In which case it was probably all a big secret for him too.

I changed direction. He wasn't looking my way, but I had no intention of going to talk to that guy now and risk being seen just in case. There was no point inviting trouble to land on my doorstep.


	5. Chapter 5

**As always, thank you all for reading and reviewing, glad to know you're all enjoying. Finally somebody else gets to tell their point of view so hope you like hearing Emmett's background.**

CHAPTER FIVE

**Emmett's POV**

Sometimes I really wished things were different. I hated to feel like I was being ungrateful when Carlisle and Esme had done so much for me, but sometimes I couldn't help wondering if maybe I would have been better off if they had left me alone. Every time I thought that I told myself I was being a jerk considering what I had come from.

I had been seventeen when some random Samaritan scraped me off the street with a stab wound and put me in an ambulance and Carlisle hauled me out at the other end and stitched me up. I was stuck in hospital a while - the wound went bad and I ended up being pumped full of antibiotics and other shit, while Carlisle did his best to make me talk. He had gotten me to spill my name so far and the fact that I had no family and that was all. Next thing I knew his wife was in, bringing me home-cooked food and picking at me for information. The woman was so damned nice and I was so lost, eventually I coughed up everything about living on the streets for the past year, no job, no home and nobody in my life after my parents died in a plane crash and their house was repossessed. Since I was past my sixteenth birthday the 'system' wasn't interested in what became of me. I felt pathetic telling her all of that, but what other choice was there? I had just a tiny shred of hope that she might somehow help me out and since I was getting better, I didn't have long before I would be back out there again.

Esme didn't actually say anything much except to express sympathy and I was disappointed when she left me, but later she was back with Carlisle offering me something unbelievable - a home. They said they were unable to have children and had made it their mission in life to adopt and give homes to needy children and they could certainly make room for one more.

"I'm hardly a child," I pointed out.

"Nor are the others. Rosalie is nineteen, Edward eighteen, Alice and Jasper sixteen. Most of them came to us several years ago, except for Alice who appeared on Christmas Eve like a sweet little gift."

Four of them? Four potential brothers and sisters - something I had never had - and new parents? I'd have been a fool to turn it down. I wasn't a bad kid, just unlucky. It wasn't like I was part of a gang or into drugs or any other shit. In an effort to improve myself in their eyes, I told them about what they had presumed was a fight and had actually been nothing of the sort. I'd simply found a twenty dollar bill in the park that someone had dropped and seen a way to feed myself for the next couple weeks. I grabbed it and some jerk with a knife grabbed me. He wanted the money for booze or drugs, whatever he was into, but no way was I giving up the chance to eat properly. I got away and ran, but the guy caught me up and the next thing I knew I was in the gutter with a stab wound and the money gone.

Esme and Carlisle were horrified and even more determined to make me part of their family. Two days later they took me home and introduced me to the others. Rosalie was home on holidays from university, but due to go back in less than a week so I barely got to see anything of her until Christmas. I immediately got along famously with Edward and Jasper, and Alice was funny and cute, like a little pixie. All three of them were still in school and I was packed off there too, put in the same classes as Jasper and Alice since I had missed a year and we all graduated at the same time.

I hadn't minded any of that and when I finished school, while I looked for work Esme kept me busy having me deliver orders for the handmade jewellery company she ran, which I ended up sticking with since I liked it and did a good job. Esme had contracts with stores in Port Angeles, Tacoma and a few other towns and insisted on paying me a decent wage for doing it. I saved up every cent, my dream being to have a cool car, especially since Edward, Jasper and Alice all had amazing sets of wheels by then. I wanted a Mustang, not necessarily new, but powerful and maybe tuned. I saved and saved and pored over my bank statements every month, hoping fervently that somehow the gradually growing amount would double overnight, which of course it didn't. What did happen was that I got my much longed for Mustang for Christmas from Esme and Carlisle, which gave me just one more reason to be eternally grateful to them and filled with guilt when I wished I could leave. I had two reasons to want to have my own space.

The first was Rosalie. While she was still at university we barely saw each other. She came home in the holidays and spent most of her time out with her friends, but once that all ended and she came home for good, aged twenty-two, she made it perfectly clear that she thought I was her dream man. Hell knows why - I mean, I worked out and packed on plenty of muscle and I thought I was reasonable looking, my dark brown hair cropped short and blue-grey eyes usually sparkling with amusement over something - but she was two years older than me and we were brother and sister. Not by blood, obviously, but to all intents and purposes all of us were family and the fact that she would even consider me was not only weird, but annoying when I told her repeatedly I wasn't interested and she merely continued flirting, certain I would change my mind.

The second, of course, was that I was gay. I had known it since I was maybe twelve or thirteen and my parents had reluctantly accepted it, although I had never had a boyfriend or even a kiss before they died. I didn't actually know what Jasper and Edward and the others would have thought about this because it was a subject that none of them ever discussed, except for the one time Alice had quickly changed channels on the television when the soap she was watching suddenly showed a couple of guys kissing, glancing at the door and saying that if Mom and Dad saw it they would go into one of their rants.

Carlisle and Esme rarely ranted about anything, but it was clear after that they wouldn't be accepting of my sexuality so I kept it to myself, hoping that one day I might meet someone I could be with. In the meantime, brief and occasional trips out to gay bars or clubs had to suffice. Usually I went to Port Angeles, far enough away for it to be unlikely that I would run into anyone I knew. However, on Tuesday it was a spur of the moment thing and I only went as far as Forks.

I had been in my bedroom, just out of the shower and wearing only shorts, when Rosalie walked in. Usually I locked the door, but I had forgotten and in she came, closing it after her and leaning on it.

"Can't you knock?" I growled, grabbing a pair of jeans.

"Don't be such a spoilsport, Emmett, I'm getting tired of you playing hard to get," she pouted.

"I'm not playing anything." I dragged the jeans on and picked up a shirt. "I've told you, it's not happening. You're my sister."

"Only in name and that doesn't count." She stepped closer. "Are you really telling me you don't like me?"

"Of course I like you, just not..."

"Well, then, stop being so silly." She wrapped her arms around my neck and planted a kiss on my lips before I could push her off. I wrenched myself away, my face red with anger, but she took it for a shy blush or some shit and only persisted. So out I stormed without even a jacket, pausing only to grab my wallet before I left the house and realised I was going to have to get the bus into Forks since I currently had no car.

I walked down the long drive through the forest until I reached the main road. I hadn't put on my wristwatch although I guessed it was around eight-thirty or so. Luckily I only had to wait about five minutes for the bus and ten minutes after that I was in the middle of Forks, looking for a place to hang out. I wasn't sure if I was really in the mood for meeting someone, but maybe a few drinks and a chat would improve my evening.

I wandered down the street, passing a nightclub called Lexington Avenue, wishing I had paid more attention during the daytime to the venues Forks had in its centre. Fifty yards further on I came to a bar - a lively place with lights spilling out of the open door and the windows, music playing not too loudly and the babble of voices almost drowning the tune. I peered in one of the windows as my feet slowed and spotted two guys making out in the corner of the bar. The sign above the doors said 'Zieglers' and after a brief hesitation I went in, bought myself a beer and found a corner to sit down.

I hadn't been there long when I spotted a vaguely familiar guy walk in and go to the bar. His face was turned away from me and I forgot about him for a while, but when I glanced over that way again a little while later he was turned sideways, eye-fucking some blond guy further down the bar.

Paul Lahote! Fuck! I almost choked on my drink. He was gay? I looked at the blond guy again and that surprised me even more. If Paul liked guys, I would have expected him to go for someone smaller, somebody he could dominate probably, not some tough guy who clearly spent as many hours in the gym as I did. Weird.

In addition, he was the last person on earth I wanted to run into. We had crossed paths a few times at car shows, the most recent one being a complete nightmare. I had been running the quarter mile against one of his friends; I hit oil that some jerk before me had dumped and that the organisers hadn't spotted, lost control and wound up with my Mustang a wreck and Lahote's friend in a body bag. His response had been to try and kick the shit out of me when the bang on the head I got had almost knocked me out to begin with. Somehow I summoned up the strength to smash him in the nose to make him back off, but what I'd really wanted to do was curl up and die, especially when I'd heard what happened to the other guy. I was responsible for someone's death, accident or not, and I doubted I would ever be able to forgive myself. I certainly couldn't forget what happened that day and after several weeks the nightmares still hadn't stopped plaguing me.

I finished my beer and considered going to the bar for another, but then hesitated. It occurred to me that if Lahote caught sight of me, he would likely find it highly amusing to blab about the fact that one of the Cullens was a fag. His friends probably all knew about him and supported him and the last thing I needed was everybody finding out. I stayed where I was, turned away but watching from the corner of my eye. He finished his drink and then stepped away from the bar, making a beeline for the blond guy, but then much to my amusement he did see me and changed direction, heading for the restrooms instead. I relaxed at once. He was just as worried about me giving away his secret as I was.

A couple minutes later he reappeared and headed back to the bar, taking up his original place and ordering another drink. I eyed the blond guy, who was now frowning and looking around him as if to find someone else to get it on with. I got to my feet, deciding to get a second beer after all and I couldn't resist toying with the object of my irritation a little. I went and leaned on the bar perhaps a yard from where he stood and ignored him while I got my beer. Then I glanced over to find him glowering at me.

"What are you doing in here, Lahote?" I asked. I expected some kind of verbal attack in response, but what I got was a short silence and then a comment that was so surprising coming from him, that I laughed and almost choked on my beer for the second time.

"Same as you, I guess. Avoiding getting jumped on by the dozen or so girls out there lying in wait for me."

I cleared my throat and wiped my mouth. He was still scowling, despite the joke.

"How long have you been coming here?" I wondered.

"Will you believe me if I tell you this is my first visit and I didn't know what kind of a place it was?"

"Nope."

"Since I was eighteen. You?"

"It really is my first time in here," I said truthfully.

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious."

"You don't look like the usual types that come in after walking past a dozen times, shitting themselves that a guy might actually hit on them."

"Well, usually I go to a bar in PA," I blurted. What can I say? Sometimes my tongue ran away with me and damn it if the guy wasn't actually sounding like he wanted to talk to me. "I don't exactly make a habit of it."

"Nor do I. It's not something I particularly want people finding out about," he said.

"Well, I know now, don't I?" I smirked.

"So do I." He raised an eyebrow and the scowl faded. "I'm guessing your family don't know where you are right now."

"No. What about your friends?"

"One of them knew, but he's not around any more," he said. The glower returned to his face and he picked up his glass and drained it in one large gulp. Shit. What the fuck did I come over and talk to him for? I may as well go on and shove the other foot into my mouth as well.

"Quil Ateara?" I asked.

"Yeah."

I gulped some more of my beer. Now what? Apologise. Not that sorry could in any way redeem me for Quil dying.

"I never got chance to say this, but I'm real sorry about what happened. If I could take that back..."

"Wasn't your fault," growled Paul, banging his glass on the bar for attention and a refill.

"I feel like it kind of was."

"Could have been anyone making that run." He took his glass back and tossed the contents down his throat, threw a bill towards the girl and then walked out without a backward glance.

I wasn't really sure whether to be relieved or not. At least he accepted it wasn't my fault. What had begun with me intending to wind him up had finished with me feeling a tiny fraction better about the whole Kent episode. I was still wracked with guilt, but at least I wasn't being blamed. I didn't actually enjoy fighting with people and would have preferred not to be part of the ridiculous feud which had developed between the Cullens and the guys from La Push. Jacob's resentment, I guess I could understand. I didn't like Bella Swan one bit and expected her to kick Edward in the teeth at any moment, but the rest of them seemed to just resent us for having more money than them.

Now I stayed where I was for a few more minutes finishing my beer until suddenly the blond guy from the other end of the bar appeared in front of me and asked if I wanted some company.

"I'm not staying," I said.

"Aww, come on, looks like that other guy ditched you same as he did me."

"It wasn't like that, I know him," I said.

"Oh, ok. Well, do you want to get another drink?" he persisted.

"No. Thanks." I left him to it and headed outside, realising with some annoyance that I had been out less than two hours and now there was nothing for it but to catch a bus home and face Rosalie again. Maybe I should have taken the blond guy up on his offer after all, but somehow it was the last thing I wanted right now.

When I returned, Jasper followed me up to my room and asked where I had been.

"Just into town," I sighed.

"What's going on with you and Rosalie?" he asked.

"Nothing! She won't take no for an answer!" I exclaimed. "It doesn't make any difference what I say."

"Why don't you tell her the truth?" He sat down on the end of my bed and stared at me, both eyebrows raised.

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Emmett, I'm not as stupid as I look. How long have you known you're gay?"

I felt my face turning red immediately, giving me away and I had no idea how to answer him. How the fuck did he know? Was I that transparent?

"It's not obvious," he added. "I only found out a couple weeks back. Mom sent you to Portland to make that delivery and the insurance guy came over and wanted the spare keys and pink slip for your car. Dad told me to come up and get them and there was a...um...a magazine in your drawer."

"Fuck," I muttered. He would have seen a copy of 'Butt', which was the one I bought most often.

"I don't care, Emmett," went on Jasper. "Mom and Dad's views are a bit - old-fashioned - but I don't share them."

"What about the others?" I found my voice at last.

"Alice is cool, one of her girlfriends from school was gay. I don't know about Ed and Rose. So when did you know?"

"I don't know, when I reached puberty I guess," I told him. My face was still burning and I wished I didn't feel like a guilty child caught out misbehaving. It was who I was and Jasper just told me he didn't care.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No."

"Have you ever had one?"

"Not really."

"So what do you do? Go and pick guys up in bars?"

"Hell, Jasper, don't ask me that," I groaned.

"Sorry, I'm curious, I'm not going to judge you or anything. You're my brother, Emmett, whatever you say I'm not going to have a problem with and I won't tell anyone else what you say to me, not even Alice. But you can talk to me about stuff, if you want."

"Thanks." I stopped pacing about, which is what I'd been doing as I tried to swallow my embarrassment, and sat down at the other end of the bed. Now I had gotten over the shock of him knowing, suddenly it felt good to know he supported me and I smiled.

"So where did you go tonight?" he asked then.

"A bar in Forks. Usually I go to PA, but until I get the insurance money back for the Mustang, I'm kind of stuck."

"You should date someone rather than just fool around with random strangers."

"Yeah, I wish, but it's hard to meet anyone around here and PA is pretty far away to do more than hook up with someone."

"Well, maybe there's someone right on the doorstep that you just don't know about yet."

"Maybe." I snorted suddenly. There was someone right on the doorstep, only we were on opposite sides of some invisible line and even if that weren't the case, I wouldn't go near him if he were the last gay guy on earth.

Jasper left me alone then, but I noticed and was extremely grateful for the fact that he began keeping an eye on whatever I happened to be doing in the house after that, which at first puzzled me until he burst into my room a couple days later about two seconds after Rosalie did. I had only planned on being in the room a few minutes and hadn't locked the door. Rosalie was in the middle of trying to persuade me to take her out for dinner and now glared at Jasper as he appeared.

"Can't you knock? We're having a private conversation," she said.

"Don't be stupid, Rose, we're _family. _Since when has there been any privacy around here?" He threw himself onto my bed. "Where's your laptop? I thought we'd look at cars, I know your check from the insurance company turned up today."

I beamed at him. "I'll get it." The laptop was under the bed, along with a heap of those damned magazines I kept meaning to get rid of. I bent down and pulled it out and a second later the door slammed behind Rosalie as she flounced off.

"Thanks," I said. "I wondered why you'd been following me around like a bad smell lately."

"I don't smell," Jasper protested. "But I thought I'd help out. She's being a real pest, I didn't realise."

"I don't know how many different ways I can say no," I sighed, turning on the laptop.

"Tell her you like cock. She'll be so stunned she'll leave you alone," Jasper giggled.

"Yeah and probably run and tell Mom and Dad."

"You're just going to keep it a secret forever?" he asked. "What if you meet someone you really want to be with?"

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. So...I already found a few I like." I opened up a file where I had saved car photos. "Trouble is, most of them are way more money than I have even with my savings and the insurance money."

"Ask Mom and Dad, they'd help out," Jasper said at once.

"No way. They give me far too much as it is."

"They give us all far too much, it's how they are. They love spoiling us, they just have the ability to do a lot more of it than most parents. I don't feel guilty about them spending so much on my car. Their faces lit up like the moon at my reaction to it; it made their day as well as mine."

"All the same, I'm not asking," I said. "I have about fifteen grand altogether. I could get this one...or this." I pointed out another Mustang and an R34 Skyline.

"Em, if you're going to get a Skyline, at least go for the GTR, Paul Lahote would be sick as a dog," Jasper grinned.

"Have you any idea how much the GTR costs?"

"Nope."

"Yeah, well you have no concept of value. I doubt you know how much the M3 cost."

"Eighty. See? I looked it up to see how much I'm worth."

"Jas, does the word materialistic mean anything to you?" I smirked.

"Yeah, Bella springs to mind when I hear that," he sniggered. "Although it's a lot easier to just say gold digger."

"I agree with you there. I can't help wondering if she actually does have feelings for Edward or if it's just his wallet and car she likes."

"We'll see, won't we? If it's an act, I doubt she'll keep it up for long without slipping. There's no point saying anything to him because he won't listen; he's besotted. We'll just have to pick up the pieces if she finds someone else richer. So..." Jasper turned back to the laptop. "How about an Aston?"

"Don't be stupid, they cost more than the GTR and they're show cars, not quarter-milers. Not that I particularly want to race at the moment."

I opened up a website and we continued discussing the virtues and costs of a number of models until Esme called us down for dinner. I was still undecided and thought I would probably just leave it a little while and think about it properly, rather than rush in and spend the money unwisely. I had managed without a car before and would do again, at least for a short period.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you all for reading so far, appreciate all the great reviews. Bit of a filler chapter here, I confess, but promise the next one will be much more exciting! :o)**

CHAPTER SIX

**Paul's POV**

I walked away from Zieglers with mixed feelings. On two counts I was pissed - firstly because the appearance of Emmett Cullen fucked with my idea of some fun with the blond guy at the bar and secondly because he had to go and bring up the accident just when I was starting to not think about it every damned minute. Still, it seemed like he felt pretty bad about the whole thing and much as my first instinct had been to throw his apology back in his face, part of me did appreciate it and I bit my tongue although I still managed to growl at him. I tried to imagine how I would feel in the same position - if I crashed my car into one of them and they didn't get out of it. I guessed I'd feel pretty shit - I wouldn't wish any of them dead and certainly wouldn't want to be responsible myself for one of them biting the dust.

Did I really have a reason to hate the guy, I wondered? What had he actually done to me, or to any of us? Except for breaking my nose and that was own fault really. I'd told him, not in so many words, that I didn't blame him for the accident and I began to realise I actually believed what I said. Quil would probably have called me a jerk for thinking that if he was still here and that point hadn't even crossed my mind up to now. Quil hadn't been fond of the Cullens the same as the rest of us, but he was too level-headed to do more than scoff at them for being spoiled and not knowing what a day of hard work felt like.

I reached the lot where I had left the truck and got into it to go home, frowning as I stuck the key in the ignition. The biggest surprise of the night was that Emmett was gay and just as worried about his family finding out as I was about the rest of the guys. Funny that I would end up having that in common with him.

I shifted the truck into gear and turned it onto the street, heading for the road which led out of Forks and back to the Reservation. Damnit, I didn't get what I came for and it would be just typical if Emmett was in the bar right now getting it on with that guy I'd liked the look of. Was that his type, I wondered? Or would he go for someone with a touch less testosterone? I would have guessed the latter, but who knew? I hardly fit the mould myself.

An image of Emmett jumped into my head and stuck there as I drove. It was that stupid joke I cracked about what I was doing in the bar, hiding from girls. He almost choked on his beer and his eyes sparkled like it was the funniest thing he'd heard all year. He had actually seemed pretty laid back and amused by the whole exchange between us, like he didn't have a worry in the world except for the one where I might go letting the cat out of the bag as to the types of bar he liked to hang out in.

I had thought at the time that I avoided looking at him for the brief few minutes we shared bar space, but somehow I managed to notice the colour of his eyes and their sparkle and the amused smirk on his lips. He had a blue shirt on with several of the upper buttons undone; it hadn't looked like he left them that way on purpose, but more like the garment was stretched too tight over his pecs to do them all up.

"For fuck's sake!" I growled, pulling the truck off the road onto the rough ground in front of Sam's house. I had managed to drive all the way home from Forks without a single thought in my mind other than Emmett fucking Cullen. How the hell did that happen? I slammed the door of the vehicle and headed into the house.

"That was quick," Sam commented as I walked in.

"Yeah, nothing much is happening in town," I said.

"No easy girls around, you mean," he frowned. "I still don't know why you split with Jessica."

"Because she drove me nuts. I don't give a shit about any of the stuff she's into and vice versa; it was pointless."

"Fair enough. You want a beer? Emily's gone to bed, I was just going to watch a football game."

"Sure, ok." I joined him for beer and to watch the game even though team sports didn't really interest me. I glued myself to the screen, wanting to erase the Cullen guy and his smug smirk from my mind. In addition, I wanted to be tired enough when I went to bed to simply fall asleep, rather than lie there thinking about my failed evening out and jacking myself off, which was getting to be a regular occurrence lately. It had been far too long since I had any fun and it was clearly going to be my next day off work before I got another opportunity.

As it happened, Sunday was my next free day and it was a waste of time going anywhere on Sunday nights - usually even Zieglers didn't have much going on. I spent most of the day hanging out with the guys at Jake's, catching up with the whole group for the first time in a long while. In fact it was probably the first time since the trip to Kent that all of us had got together. Only Sam and Emily were missing, but they had asked me to get everyone over to the house in the afternoon for a barbeque.

"How's the new job going?" Embry asked me as we sat about, watching Jake and Seth working on the Corvette again.

"Pretty good."

"You haven't put any of the clientele in hospital yet?" Jake teased.

"No, but I'll put you in there if you like," I grinned.

"Think I'll pass."

"Much as I hate to bring this up, the Cullens added a new car to their million dollar fleet," Seth said suddenly.

"Let me guess, Mommy and Daddy bought Emmett a replacement for that shitty orange Mustang," sneered Jared.

"Well, it was him driving it," Seth said.

"Driving what?" asked Jake.

"A white GTR."

"Fuck," muttered Embry.

"White?" echoed Jared. "What is he, a fag?"

I glowered and said nothing. He would get the one car I would do just about anything to get my hands on and now Jared was making sneering comments about fags? I had to wonder what he would have said to me, had I taken Quil's advice and told the guys about myself.

"Our Bug is white, does that make me gay?" Seth said, eyebrows raised.

"That doesn't count, Seth, it's your mother's," muttered Jared.

"Didn't have you down as a bigot, Jared," Embry said suddenly.

"I'm not, it was just a comment," he shrugged. "Why are you so bothered? Are you gay?"

"No..."

"Well, then. So when's the next show? Think one of us can whip Cullen's butt?"

"Jared, can't you shut up?" I growled suddenly. "I for one don't even want to think about running the fucking quarter mile right now."

"Yeah, I doubt Emmett would either if he's got any conscience," Seth said. "How must he feel after what happened?"

"Let's just drop it, shall we?" Jake sighed. "Really, who gives a shit what car he's driving, or any of them? You know what? I wouldn't swap this baby if I had a million in the bank." He patted the hood of the Corvette. "That lot probably don't appreciate anything they have. I worked my butt off for this and so did all of you for what you got. I'd rather feel like I earned something that had it dumped in front of me on a silver platter."

"Fair point," Embry said. "What's this stupid fight with them really about anyway? I don't even remember how it started."

"Me neither," shrugged Jacob. "I mean, I could have happily kicked Edward into the middle of next week not long back, but really, was it his fault Bella went running after him? At the time I was sick about it, but if she's that much of a gold digger, I had a lucky escape. If it wasn't him it would have been somebody else."

"Bet Paul doesn't agree," Jared said, turning to look at me. "I've never heard you say a good word about any of them."

"I actually have more important things to think about than stupid feuds," I told him.

"Oh, yeah, like the big plan. What is it, anyway? Fancy yourself as 'The Bodyguard', do you?"

"What the fuck?" I glared at Jared. He was usually relaxed and easy going, but today he seemed to want to pick a fight with everyone.

"Paul, just ignore him, he had a fight with Kim," Embry said.

"Yeah, thanks, Embry, just tell everyone."

"I don't know why you bothered coming over," grumbled Embry.

"Maybe I wanted to hang out with my friends who I thought might have been more supportive!"

"Jared, you fight with Kim every other week, you know it's going to blow over like it always does so why don't you just go buy her some flowers and grovel for whatever you did like you're going to do later anyway," I said mildly.

"Like that'll fix this."

"What did you do?" Seth asked curiously.

"She's pregnant!" Jared blurted.

"Woah! How the fuck did that happen?" Embry's mouth dropped open.

"Seriously, Em, did no one ever have the birds and the bees talk with you?" sniggered Seth.

"I don't know how it happened, she takes the pill," Jared sighed. "She must have missed one or something, I don't know."

Embry flushed. "And she's pissed at you when she forgot?" he asked Jared.

"No, I...never mind." Jared reddened and shuffled his feet.

"Seriously, man, if you started the fight over this you need to do some real grovelling," Seth told him. "Doesn't matter who made the mistake, it takes two, doesn't it? Don't you think you should be offering her support and helping her make a decision here instead of having a go at her?"

Leah elbowed him suddenly. "When did you grow up some much, little brother?"

"Right, well, I guess I'm going to go," muttered Jared, chewing his lip. "I know I'm being a jerk, I'm just freaked out."

"Somehow I think Kim will be freaked out a lot more than you," Leah said. "I can't believe you went mad at her for this, you jerk. She might not even have forgotten, she might have been sick or something."

"Yeah, ok, Leah, I get it." Jared sighed.

He left a moment later and Jake and Seth began to pack away their tools and get cleaned up. Everyone continued gossiping about Jared and Kim for a little while before the subject changed to cars as it usually did, and we all headed back to Sam and Emily's for the barbeque. Sam was in the process of lighting it while clouds of smoke swirled above his head. I went to help and Leah went indoors to join Emily preparing food.

It was Tuesday before I heard any more about Jared and Kim. I had assumed he would have gone to her and begged for forgiveness like he usually did, but either that hadn't worked or he hadn't bothered. I was wandering around the perimeter of the club keeping my eyes open for trouble, noting it was just before eleven, when some kind of scuffle at the bar caught my eye. There were three drunken girls there, barely able to stand up, one of them screeching at the bar girl to fill her glass up. The other two laughed and giggled hysterically. I would much rather have had a couple of fighting guys to deal with - drunken girls could be counted on to either try to kiss you, grab your crotch or vomit on your shoes.

I looked around me, hoping to spot Steve nearby and leave the delightful task to him, but he was nowhere in sight and I approached the bar, even less happy when I discovered the three girls were actually Kim, Jessica and Bella. Kim was the one demanding more drinks.

"I think you three have had enough," I began.

"Fuck off, Paul, mind your own business!" Jessica spun around and snapped at me.

"I work here, it is my business. Mel isn't going to serve you any more, so you should get yourselves home. You want me to get you a cab?"

"Go to hell!" Jessica spat. "What do you care what I do? All you care about is your damned car!"

"I care because you're making a scene and upsetting the customers. Let's go." I took hold of her wrist firmly, but carefully and grabbed Kim with the other. "Does Jared know where you are?"

"Jared doesn't care what I do," she slurred. "He doesn't care I'm in this state thanks to him. I wannanother drink!"

"Jesus," I muttered.

"Paul, take your hand off of me!" Jess exclaimed from the other side of me. "You've no right touching me, you bastard!"

I ignored her for a moment. "Kim, Jared's just scared like you probably. You two need to talk to each other."

"We did talk. He said he'll marry me. I don't wanna get married! I'm too young! My life is over!" wailed Kim and burst into tears, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Having fun?" Steve appeared behind me, smirking.

"Help me out, would you? I know them. Put those two in a cab..." I indicated Jess and Bella. "I'll deal with this one."

"Come on, ladies, time to go for a little walk," Steve said firmly and began to hussle Jess and Bella away, to my intense relief. However, I still had to deal with Kim sobbing all over my shirt and smearing my collar in bright red lipstick. I pried her off of my neck, grasped one of her hands and wrapped the other arm around her shoulders, steering her away from the bar and the dancers and through the door which led upstairs to the offices.

"Where we going?" she hiccoughed, stumbling on the stairs and clutching at my shirt pocket, ripping one of the seams. "Oops!"

"We're going to find a phone so I can call Jared and tell him to come get you."

"Don't waste your time, he won't come. Why don't you take me home, Paulie? I'll make you a little nightcap." She attempted to plant a kiss on my cheek, but I pulled my head back quickly.

"Kim, believe me, you're going to regret everything about this tomorrow. You shouldn't even be drinking," I scolded.

"You're really nice, you know that? Why you always want to be...pretend to be the bad guy? You're all sweet and..." She turned away from me suddenly and threw up over the bannister into the lobby below.

"God," I groaned.

"Sorry, I don't feel very well. I'm pregnant. Did Jared tell you that? Do you think I've got morning sickness?"

"Maybe so." I grabbed her arm again and hauled her up the last few stairs to the top floor, leading her into the restrooms rather than the offices, just in case. I lowered her onto the polished tiles of one of the cubicles, within easy reach of the toilet bowl. "Stay there, ok? I'll be back in a minute."

"Don't leave me."

"I'll be back before you know it."

"I'm tired." She leaned against the wall and her eyes closed abruptly.

Thank Christ, what a fucking nightmare. I hurried into the office where Mr Barraco was enjoying a cigar, leaning out of the window and looking at the goings on below.

"Paul, what happened to you?" he said, eyeing me in surprise. I guessed I was covered in lipstick and my shirt pocket was hanging down at an angle.

"Drunken girl. Do you mind if I use the phone? I know her; I don't want to just put her in a cab."

"Sure, go ahead. Where is she?"

"In the restrooms. Probably asleep by now." I picked up the phone and dialled Jared's cellphone. He answered after a few seconds.

"It's Paul," I said. "You need to get down to LA's fast, Kim's here."

"What the fuck?" he exclaimed. "What's she doing?"

"Sleeping on the restroom floor at the moment. Drunk out of her mind."

"You let her _drink?_" Jared bellowed. "She's pregnant! Me and her parents have been going out of our minds, she just disappeared with Jess!"

"Don't blame me, I just work here," I said. "Get down here, ok? Tell the guys on the door to send for me. Hurry up." I hung up before he could say anything else.

"The girl's boyfriend is coming for her," I advised Mr Barraco.

He nodded. "You know, you're doing a great job here, Paul, I'm impressed."

"Thanks, Sir."

He grinned suddenly. "Better change your shirt before you get back down there."

I changed quickly and then returned to the restrooms. Kim was indeed sleeping and I left her alone until twenty minutes later Terry came thundering up the stairs looking for me. Jared was outside in a steaming temper because they wouldn't let him in without paying the cover charge. Much to my relief he took one of Kim's arms while I took the other and between the two of us we got her down the stairs again without incident. She could barely put one foot in front of the other and her head was rolling on her shoulders.

"Oh, my God," Jared groaned when he saw her.

"Don't be mad," Kim said in a small voice, looking up suddenly. "I'm an idiot. And don't be mad at Paul, he looked after me, didn't you?" She turned and plastered lipstick on my cheek before I could dodge and I grimaced.

"Thanks." Jared nodded at me and swiftly scooped Kim up into his arms before her legs gave way. "Sorry I gave you a hard time."

"Part of the job," I shrugged. "I guess I'll see you at the weekend."

"Sure. Thanks, Paul," he said again and set off across the street to his car, which he had left in a no-parking zone.

"Take the door for the rest of the night if you want," Gary offered before handing me a tissue. "You might want to wipe your face."

I scrubbed my cheek clean and took up my position outside with Terry, chatting and watching the passersby in between letting people into the club. We hadn't been there long when the sound of a car - a very loud one - drew my attention away from Terry's flirting antics with a group of girls on their way in and I looked up and down the street, my eyes searching for the beast that was announcing its arrival with a throaty growl.

From the right a GTR appeared, gleaming white with darkened windows, and pulled up almost directly opposite in front of the ATM in the wall of the bank there. The headlights died and the engine quieted and I continued staring as Emmett Cullen got out and went to the ATM, damn him. The car was a beauty and I was only glad I was working, otherwise I would have been hard pushed not to go over there and gawk at it, which would no doubt give him far too much satisfaction. As it was I couldn't help admiring the sleek lines of the car, the satin white paint set off by the dark glass and black seven-spoke alloys, the spoiler non-standard but subtle rather than in your face. Shit, I was almost drooling. Hell knows what my face must have looked like - probably similar to a dog faced with a slab of steak - but I quickly switched my expression to a scowl when I realised Emmett had turned away from the ATM to walk around to the driver's door again and would likely see me if he looked up. He looked to be jamming a thick wad of bills into his wallet.

He did look up, right before he pulled the car door open and hesitated for a moment, staring at me in apparent surprise before he got in the car and started the engine. The GTR vanished up the street with a roar seconds later and I sighed heavily. What was it Jake said about not swapping his baby even if he had a million in the bank? I wasn't so sure I would pass up the chance to get a GTR, should miracles happen.

I finally got my chance to go out again on Friday, my first weekend night off. Of course I went to my class in the afternoon as always and made use of Gary's apartment to shower and change. He had given me a spare key now, in case he wasn't around and it so happened that I had the place to myself on that occasion, which I was glad about. He and I had got to be pretty good friends since I worked at the club, but he had an annoying habit of trying to grill me about my sex life, or lack thereof, at every opportunity and had even offered to fix me up with the friend of some girl he was seeing. So far I had escaped, but I knew my excuses were starting to wear thin.

I showered and changed into the spare clothes I brought with me - nothing special, just faded blue jeans that I practically had to pour myself into and a tight grey t-shirt with the sleeves ripped out. You could wear anything from what I had on to a three piece suit in Zieglers and somehow fit in with everyone else. I shoved my wallet into my back pocket, my belongings into the holdall I had with me and then locked up and put the bag in the truck. It was early and I went into the nearby Taco Bell to get some dinner before heading to the bar around nine.

"Hey, Paul," a guy greeted me as I leaned on the bar, waiting to be served with a drink. I glanced at him curiously. Did I know him? Obviously he knew me. He looked vaguely familiar and I guessed he must be one of my past bits of fun. I cringed slightly at the thought that I couldn't even remember who I got it on with. He looked pretty hot - shoulder length brown hair and green eyes, broad shoulders and muscular arms stretching the fabric of a black t-shirt. I never went back for seconds.

"Hey," I grunted.

"Want some company?"

"No, not really."

"Suit yourself. See you around." He took himself off and I shrugged and ordered a beer. I took a gulp from the bottle and looked around at the crowded bar, wondering if there was someone there for me. It had been too damned long and I was impatient for some fun, even if it was just a quick hand job in the restrooms. I concentrated on my beer for a few minutes, listening to the babble of voices around me vying with the quirky dance music, then when the barmaid came close I bought a second drink, knowing the first would be gone before she passed near me again. I handed over the cash and drained the first bottle.

"While you're there, grab me a Bud, sweetheart."

The deep voice came from behind me and a muscular arm stretched out towards the girl, the hand offering her a bill. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I cursed myself for reacting like that. I must really be desperate if I would even consider Emmett Cullen.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing the last chapter. A little smut in this one for all of you lemon lovers - don't forget I rated the story M for a reason.**

CHAPTER SEVEN

**Emmett's POV**

I never intended to go back to Zieglers. If I was going to keep running into Paul Lahote in there it was probably best avoided and besides, I liked the drive over to PA, especially now I had the most amazing car in the world to take me there.

Despite my fervent protests, Carlisle and Esme had bought me a GTR straight out of the showroom the minute they found out from Jasper what my preferred model was. I had been set on finding an R34 which I could have afforded, but they insisted that they should be allowed to see their children enjoy their money while they were still alive. The others all had good cars and I should have one too. Of course I was delighted with it, but I had insisted on giving them every penny of the insurance money and my savings towards it, not that fifteen grand made a huge dent in the price tag. I chose white because it was different. Not many people chose white cars of that sort. I could have had gunmetal (nondescript) or red (my least favourite colour) or yellow (the same as Alice's car), so I picked white to be different and damn if it didn't look amazing with black wheels and dark windows.

What amused me about the whole thing was that the night I went into Forks to get my last chunk of cash out of the bank to give to Carlisle, Paul Lahote who was apparently a doorman at LA's, was staring at my baby with his tongue practically hanging out of his mouth. He clearly thought I hadn't seen him as he switched his expression to a scowl the minute I turned around. I would have been willing to bet he was green with envy and I couldn't help feeling a little smug, despite my lingering guilt over Carlisle and Esme's generosity.

So on Friday night I set off to PA, the GTR having spent the last two hours sitting on the driveway with me polishing every inch of it until it gleamed. This activity had the added advantage of boring Rosalie rigid, so she left me well alone. The headlights lit up the road ahead of me as I approached Forks and the junction where the highway branched off for PA. It was a while since I had been to my usual haunt - far too long. I was horny and sick of jacking myself off over those damned magazines.

I drove past the turn off, glancing up at the sign which said 'Forks - 2 miles'. Much as I had been looking forward to a longer drive, maybe Zieglers would suffice after all. Lahote wouldn't be in there on a Friday night if he was a doorman - the club would no doubt need all hands on deck.

I parked up, locked the car, switched on the alarm and walked the short distance to the bar. What if he was in there? It would just be typical. No way in hell was I going to get it on with someone with him watching and probably laughing at me. My stomach filled with butterflies as I headed through the open door and I told myself it was the usual case of nerves that afflicted me when I was looking for a guy. I actually really hated this whole scene if I was honest. It wasn't me - picking up some random guy in a bar. I put on an act each time to cover up the fact that I really didn't have that much confidence and most of the time I was cringeing at my behaviour and only doing it because the longing for sex got the better of me. The truth was, I got that easily enough when I went looking for it, usually in a restroom stall or the back of a car, but what I really wanted was totally different. I wanted dates, kisses, fun sex and cuddles rather than frantic sordid liaisons with strangers where you could get caught out at any moment; where you walked away afterwards feeling dirty rather than satisfied. I wasn't stupid enough to believe I would ever find what I wanted in a bar, but I just didn't know how else to meet anyone. Dating websites weren't something I wanted to consider either.

I went to the bar to get a beer and was just handing over the money when I noticed the very guy I had been hoping to avoid was right next to me, nursing his own bottle of Bud. Shit.

"Thought you went to a bar in PA," he commented without looking at me.

"I couldn't be bothered driving over there tonight," I said and gulped some of my beer. I leaned against the bar and glanced at him, noticing his grey t-shirt looked about three sizes too small and only emphasised the size of his shoulders and broad back. Intentional no doubt. His faded jeans were even tighter, clinging to muscular thighs and firm butt as if they were painted on. Damnit, he was hot and I wanted to kick myself for thinking that.

"Not even in the new car?" He turned to look at me and raised an eyebrow. His eyes were deep brown, piercing as if he was looking into me rather than at me.

"Not tonight."

"Nice, by the way. Shame we don't all have rich parents to shower us with toys like that."

Just what I expected. A brief compliment quickly crushed by an insult and I was immediately pissed.

"You know nothing about it," I growled.

Paul shrugged. "I can't blame you. I wouldn't have said no either."

"Listen, Lahote, I won't pretend I'm not smug as hell driving around in a GTR, but I didn't ask for it and to be honest, I would rather have bought a car I can afford with my own money, which I do earn by the way; I don't just live off of them like a fucking leech!"

"Alright, chill, I'm sorry," he said.

"Yeah, well, it gets up my nose that people think I'm rich and spoiled when I work hard like anybody else. I can't help the fact that I got adopted by the Cullens. I came from an ordinary family, same as most people, even you."

"My family was anything but ordinary," he grumbled. "So how come you were adopted anyway?"

"You actually want to know?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah, why not?"

"Ok, might as well get a seat then." I turned away from the bar and headed for a corner away from the main bustle, leaving him to follow me if he felt like it. I wasn't particularly delighted by the prospect of spending more time with him, but since he was here there wasn't much else I could do. Annoyingly my pulse sped up as I made my way to an unoccupied corner bench and sat down and I chewed my lip. Paul was still at the bar I noticed, speaking to someone he apparently knew, but a moment later he moved away and began to walk towards me. Fuck, those jeans were tight and I would have bet he had no underwear on either.

Jesus, don't stare, I told myself and shifted my eyes upwards - to bulging pecs. Heat rushed to my groin and I tried to think about something else. The last thing I wanted was a raging boner, but too long with no fun except for my own hands, and now the company of the hottest guy in the bar had me beginning to stiffen regardless. I wondered what the chances were. Would he be up for it? I knew nothing about him, but I couldn't imagine him being shy about it. I bet he'd screw anything that looked twice at him - or certainly play around with them.

"So? You were going to tell me where you came from," he prompted, dropping onto the seat a few feet away, partly facing me.

"Uh...um...yeah, well my parents were just ordinary - my Dad worked in construction, Mom was a waitress. They died in a plane crash when I was sixteen."

"Sorry to hear that," Paul said with a frown. "Did they treat you ok?"

"My parents? Sure, why wouldn't they?" That comment puzzled me, but I carried on talking. Anything to stop myself thinking about his hand which was gripping his beer bottle, wrapped around me instead. "They had a huge mortgage, the house got repossessed and the system didn't want to know. I lived on the streets for a year, then ended up in the hospital and Carlisle Cullen fixed me up. He and Esme took pity on me and I guess the rest is history."

"Lucky break," Paul nodded. "What put you in the hospital?"

"Guy with a knife."

"Shit."

"So how did you wind up living with...Sam Uley, is it?" I asked.

"Long story," he grunted. "I left home when I was sixteen, he and Emily took me in."

"Why'd you leave?"

Paul scowled and drained the rest of his beer before answering. "It's not important."

"Humour me," I said, genuinely interested.

"I'm not here to entertain you!" he snapped and got to his feet.

"Hey..." I protested. Hell, the guy had a chip on his shoulder. A huge chip. And he was about to walk away from me just when I was beginning to convince myself that we were getting along and that I might possibly get my hand inside those impossibly tight jeans later. But he was already walking away to the bar.

"Shit!" I growled under my breath. I was annoyed that he walked away and more annoyed still that I was so disappointed. He hadn't gone far however. He had wedged himself between two guys at the bar and was waiting to be served with another drink. I stared at his butt until he turned around again and then quickly dropped my eyes and pretended interest in the last mouthful of beer that was left in my bottle.

"Sorry." Paul appeared at the other side of the table, placed a fresh bottle of Bud in front of me and then stepped over my legs and took up his original seat, maybe a foot closer to me than before.

"No, I'm sorry. I guess I come across like I'm prying; really I'm just interested."

The corner of his mouth twitched up slightly into a hint of a smile. "Just don't ask me about family."

"Ok. So can I ask about your job at that club? Don't they need you on a Friday night?"

"They rotate the weekend days off, it's my first in the month I've been there. It's a good job - decent pay too, better than the shitty warehouse I was in before."

"Yeah, I guess security guys get paid pretty good," I nodded. "You have to use your fists much?" Damn, Emmett, what the hell did you say that for, I cursed myself.

Paul just grinned. "Not really. You get more trouble with drunken girls trying to slobber all over you." He pulled a face. "If there's real trouble you diffuse it rather than add to it. I do kick boxing and jujitsu to help with that."

"Cool," I said. Another thing we had in common. "I did kick boxing for a few years. I've been thinking about taking up something else too."

He nodded and took another drink. I watched the movement of his throat as he swallowed and imagined his lips were wrapped around my cock instead of the bottle. I shifted awkwardly and rested an arm across my lap, hoping not to draw attention to the fact that I was getting uncomfortably hard. Paul lowered the bottle and his eyes slid from my face, down my chest and fixed on exactly what I was hoping he wouldn't look at it. He smirked again and then grinned wider, the tip of his tongue trapped between his teeth. Oh fuck. He was checking me out and way more obviously than I was doing with him. So did I ignore it, or run with it and put on that awful confident act of mine in the hopes that I might get more out of it than just a few drinks and too tight pants? Did I seriously want to get it on with him? How difficult would that make things if we ran into each other at shows or something in the future? What the hell.

"What are you looking at?" I grunted.

"Isn't it obvious? Like my company, do you?"

"Seems like it, doesn't it?"

He arched an eyebrow and leaned back, shifting his butt forward on the seat and drawing attention to the fact that the ridiculous tight jeans were virtually crushing him. I could make out the shape of the head of his cock pushing against the fabric and I wondered if it was my imagination or if I really was hornier than I'd ever been in my life.

We dragged it out for about another ten minutes, which was still really fast for me. Normally I wasted time talking for at least a couple hours, but not long after I finished my second beer I was heading for the restrooms with Paul following me.

Other than one guy in front of the urinals just zipping himself up, no one was in there. I was pleasantly surprised by the spotless appearance of the place and had to admit that Zieglers was definitely better than the bar in PA. The unknown guy walked out and the door swung shut behind him. Shit, now what? I hated this part. Did you grab the guy, wait for them to grab you, kiss them, ask them what they wanted? I hesitated a moment until Paul's hand suddenly came up to rest on my chest before sliding down to my stomach. The muscles jumped under his touch and he smiled. I groaned, my balls aching and I stopped messing around waiting for something to happen. I raised both hands to his neck and crashed my lips onto his, wondering for a second if he was one of those guys who didn't do kissing. His lips parted immediately and his response was as urgent as my assault, his tongue teasing mine as I manoeuvred him backwards into the end stall and slammed the door behind us.

By the time I had shot the bolt, my eyes closed and my mouth still clinging to his, he had my shirt undone, his hands exploring my chest and back under the fabric. I broke the kiss, needing to breathe, panting and shivering as he turned his head to one side and sank his teeth into my neck, hard enough to hurt, but not to break the skin. I slid my hands down his body to the front of his jeans and quickly unfastened the buttons, allowing his erection to spring out into my hand. I stroked my hand up his length and ran my thumb over the head, surprised and delighted to find out he was circumcised, like me. I was dying to taste him and the thought had a damp patch of pre-cum forming in my shorts. I backed away, dropped to my knees and drew the head into my mouth, rolling my tongue around it eagerly.

"Fuck..." Paul hissed. "You are in a hurry."

"Mmm." I pulled his jeans down further, then cupped his balls in one hand and wrapped the fingers of the other around his shaft, my hand following the movement of my mouth up and down, slowly and teasingly, enjoying the sound of him gasping, his hand clutching at my hair, trying to fuck my mouth faster than I was willing to go.

"Please..." he groaned after a couple more minutes. He was begging? I would have grinned if I didn't have my mouth full and I took my hands off of him, sliding them around to his butt and squeezing the firm flesh, pulling him forwards against me until his cock hit the back of my throat. His nails dug into my scalp, his other hand braced against the wall for balance as he came hard, panting and whimpering, legs trembling. I drew my head back slowly, sucking the last few drops from him and swallowing, dropping one hand quickly to unfasten my own pants before my cock tore its way out of them.

"Fuck...Emmett..." Paul murmured, his head rolling back against the wall.

I glanced up at him and then rose slowly to my feet. He was still hard and I leaned closer, rubbing myself against him, grasping both our cocks together and stroking them. We were about the same size, mine just a fraction thicker. I stroked my thumb over my slit and spread the oozing pre-cum over both, biting my lip to stop myself groaning too loudly. Paul's eyes opened and met mine and he pushed my hands off.

"My turn," he said throatily and replaced my hands with his own.

I rested my hands on the wall either side of him, nibbling at his neck as he rubbed our cocks together until he slid out from between my arms and lowered himself to the ground in front of me. I looked down, watching as he teased me with his tongue, one hand wrapped around my shaft and the other touching himself. I closed my eyes, wanting to make things last as long as I could but knowing if I watched it would be over in less than a minute. As it was, the long abstinence and the fact that probably the hottest guy I had ever been with was kneeling at my feet sucking me had me erupting way faster than I hoped. He let me slip from his mouth slowly and stayed where he was, his forehead resting lightly against my stomach as he rapidly finished himself off, spurting onto the floor between my feet.

My heart was hammering, hands shaky as I tucked myself back into my pants. Paul stood up, jamming himself into the tight jeans, eyes down and I wondered what now. I wanted to kiss him - taste the combination of him and me on our tongues and I leaned forward to do just that. My lips brushed his for the briefest second and it seemed like he would respond, but then he sidestepped and opened the door. Amazingly there was still no one else around and as he walked out of the stall I had the sinking feeling that he was just going to leave the bar and disappear. That would be the end of our encounter and I followed him quickly, hoping to prolong things, fastening my shirt buttons and wondering for a second if they were going in the wrong holes.

"Hey, you want to get another drink?" I said.

He glanced over his shoulder at me. "Sure."

I heaved a sigh of relief and went to the bar to get two more beers. When I looked behind me there was no sign of Paul in the now crowded bar, but I found him a moment later sitting in the same place we had previously occupied, although there was less room now, two other guys also occupying the area. I sat down next to him, my thigh bumping against his, passing him one of the bottles. For a moment I couldn't think of anything to say to him and I tried to remember what I'd always been told about getting a conversation going - ask a question. I asked him more about his job - that seemed like a pretty safe subject. What made him choose to work at LA's.

"Complete accident," he said. "I was walking by and saw a sign outside asking for security staff. I'd been stuck in the warehouse for years, since I was sixteen. Only job I could get with a record." He glanced at me and smirked. "Fighting. Unsurprising, right?"

"Totally. You had a record at sixteen?" I said.

"I beat the shit out of some kid in school and tried to deck a teacher. Got expelled and arrested. My behaviour didn't really improve much with age." He took a gulp of beer and grimaced. "As you saw."

I shrugged. Somehow that had ceased to matter. He punched me, I broke his nose. In my book it kind of made it even and nothing was going to bring Quil Ateara back. Talking to him tonight was making me see him in a bit of a different light. I'd always just thought he was an asshole and it was clear he had problems, something to do with his family that he wouldn't talk about, but there was even the hint of a sense of humour mostly hidden under his grumpiness and I realised I was starting to actually like him. I prompted him to continue and he went back to the fact that the boss at the club didn't care about the record, one of his colleagues had been in jail and it was down to his friend Quil that he wanted to turn things around for himself.

"He was twenty-three and he had a Will, can you believe that?" he said. "Who does that?"

"He sounds like a guy who liked to be prepared," I commented, a little surprised that he would talk to me about his lost friend.

"Yeah, like a boy scout, he said. He left me a chunk of money. He was a stock broker, real good too. I didn't tell the other guys about it, only Sam and Emily. They'd probably think I didn't deserve it."

"He obviously thought you deserved it. What are you going to do with it?" I asked, not sure if I was treading on dangerous ground or not.

"He thought I was throwing my life away and he'd have more success making me pull my head out of my butt after he was gone." He gave a wry smile and sighed heavily. "The job in the club is just temporary, to get experience. I thought of setting up my own business; maybe train and hire out security guys to companies that need them. Does that sound stupid?"

"No, it sounds like something that could work out really well," I said, even more surprised. I got the impression he just divulged something that no one else knew yet and I found the fact that he told me curiously exciting.

"Well, I hope so. Not sure what kind of a boss I'd be, but we'll see."

"Good luck with it," I said and meant it.

"Thanks." He finished his beer and put the bottle down. "I better get out of here."

I almost blurted out 'don't go yet' and quickly bit my tongue. I wanted to say something, but wasn't sure what. I was certain of one thing and that was that I wanted to see him again, although I wasn't so sure he would feel the same. He seemed to be enjoying my company, but I couldn't really imagine him as the dating type. I considered asking if he wanted to meet up and go for a drive or something and then dismissed the idea. He would think I meant in the GTR and probably consider it patronising. I could ask him to meet up for another drink - and another rushed session in the restrooms. At least get his phone number. Damnit. He was already on his feet.

"Yeah, me too," I said and got up. My heart was pounding stupidly and I followed him outside, wanting more than anything to grab him for a kiss before we went our separate ways if I couldn't make myself say something about seeing each other again. However, the minute we were outside he was pulling a key out of his pocket and turning in the opposite direction from the one which would lead me to where I left the GTR.

"See you around," he said a touch distractedly over his shoulder and strode away.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath. "Why didn't you ask him out, you jerk?" I turned the other way and walked slowly back to the car. It was probably just as well I hadn't said anything. He obviously wasn't keen to spend any longer in my company and would have undoubtedly said no. I switched off the car alarm and got in with a sigh. Well, that was that. Amazing as the evening had turned out to be, it was over and I felt horribly disappointed. I wanted more - more of Paul - and it looked like I wasn't going to get it.


	8. Chapter 8

**As always, thank you for the great reviews on the last chapter. I know you're all dying to know what Paul is thinking after the episode in the club, so here is his POV :o)**

CHAPTER EIGHT

**Paul's POV**

"What the fuck was I thinking? Emmett Cullen?"

I realised I was talking to myself as I got into the truck and slammed my hands onto the steering wheel. I was kicking myself. It wasn't the fact that I sucked his cock or vice versa; hell, he had a mouth like a vacuum cleaner. I hadn't come so hard in a _very _long time and I had enjoyed every second of it - a lot. Add to that I had come to the realisation he was probably the hottest guy I'd ever had my hands on and part of me wished - maybe stupidly - that he had said he wanted to see me again, hook up again, or something. I _never_ kissed guys - well, hardly ever. Maybe a couple of them. Most of the time I just wanted them to get me off and then go our separate ways. Tonight, I don't know what happened. I liked kissing him and I wanted more of it. He had tried to kiss me after we finished with each other and I backed off, only because I was a touch worried about how much I was liking it. I had actually wanted to taste myself on his tongue, feel his body press against mine just for a few more seconds.

What I was so mad about now, was the fact that I'd sat there spilling my guts to him about my record, Quil, the money, my plans for my future; I'd only told Quil what I actually planned to do with myself and now I told Emmett. _Why?_ Did it seem like a good idea at the time or did I enjoy the blowjob so much I suddenly had some burning desire to tell him everything? It was a wonder I hadn't given him my life story while I was at it. What would he have said if I brought up Mom and Dad and Peter? Only Quil knew _everything_. Most of it had been left behind in Tacoma so there was no need for anyone to know, except that during the month Quil and me were closer than usual, I felt like I could tell him things and went right ahead and did so after a few beers. He had been cool about it - horrified, but cool so I didn't feel like I made a mistake. Emmett probably would have branded me a proper fuck-up and run for the hills. Or maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he would have understood too. Or maybe he just would have felt sorry for me and then I'd feel completely ridiculous. At least I stopped before my tongue ran away with me completely.

I pulled myself together and started the engine. It was over anyway, so I could stop beating myself up about what I said and just enjoy remembering what I did. I turned the vehicle onto the road and began to head back to La Push, my mind on what happened in the restroom stall and my cock immediately coming to life again, struggling to stand upright in my jeans. God alone knew why I wore something so damned tight. I released a couple of the buttons and pulled my t-shirt down over the front, hoping Sam and Emily would have gone to bed when I got in. I didn't want to walk in there with a raging hard-on and have to make conversation with either of them.

Luckily the house was in darkness and I let myself in quietly, made use of the bathroom and then went to bed. By the time I slid naked under the covers I was aching and couldn't keep my hands off. I came twice in the space of ten minutes earlier and it had only served to make me more horny rather than relieve the pressure. I closed my eyes and began to stroke myself, unable to stop myself imagining it was Emmett's hand on me again. I hadn't considered it before, but now I realised he was exactly my type, all bulging muscles and hard flesh, strong hands, handsome face and a beautiful cock. I pressed my face into the pillow to suppress a groan as I moved my hand faster. I never went back for seconds; not since Quil. But I wanted seconds with Emmett and preferably not in a fucking stall either. For a moment I imagined him here, naked, in my bed, his mouth devouring me and his hands on my body and I quickly came all over myself and the bed covers, leaving myself hot and breathless and even more annoyed with myself. I had to put it out of my mind. Going back for more would only cause me trouble and it wasn't worth it.

When I woke the next morning I was determined to just put the experience behind me, the same as I always did. I showered, dressed, gulped down the huge plateful of breakfast Emily put in front of me and then went over to Jake's to spend time with some of the guys. Seth and Embry were there and later Jared and Kim arrived together, holding hands. Kim immediately manoeuvred me away from the others for a short talk, her face red and her eyes darting around everywhere.

"I wanted to say thank you for looking after me the other night," she said. "I'm so sorry for behaving like that. I hardly ever drink, it was stupid, especially considering...my condition...and it made me nuts."

"Don't worry about it," I said. "You and Jared seem to have sorted things out."

"Yes, we spent a lot of time talking. I was being an idiot, both of us were just freaking out. It's actually going to be ok, both my parents and his are being really supportive. We're not getting married though! Not yet anyway."

"Good, glad you're ok." I didn't really know what to say to her, but she returned to Jared after that and I sat down to talk to Embry and watch Jake and Seth installing some new seats in the Corvette.

"Did you go out last night?" Embry asked me.

"Yes, why?"

"Just wondered, I know you said it was your first weekend day off. Got yourself a new girl yet?"

"No and I'm not planning to," I said.

"You know, my cousin Marie's best friend Pippa really likes the look of you..."

"Don't even go there!" I interrupted at once.

"You haven't even seen her, she's gorgeous."

"Embry, there is no way I am being set up with anyone right now," I said vehemently. "After...um...Jessica's antics I'm steering clear for a while. Besides, I never have any time with my classes and work." I poured out the excuses while an image of my cock in Emmett's mouth filled my mind.

"Fair enough," Embry shrugged. "I guess I can see your point, Jake's the same after Bella."

I was relieved that he just dropped it and we spent the rest of the time together talking about other things until it was time for me to head into Forks and go to work.

I kept out of Zieglers for the next few weeks, telling myself that if Emmett was going to make the place his new haunt, I didn't want to run into him again and end up repeating a big mistake. By that time the whole thing had started to become a distant memory anyway, except occasionally when I was lying in bed at night, too horny to sleep and thinking about how good his hands and mouth felt on me. I decided it was high time I went looking for some more fun and planned to do just that the next suitable day I had off work.

A week later I had a Friday off again and was all set to head for Zieglers when Mr Barraco called apologetically to tell me Terry had gone down with food poisoning and would I mind working an extra shift for double pay. Of course I wouldn't have let them down anyway and the extra money was attractive, so I abandoned my night out and went to work.

It was Monday evening when the guys were all hanging out at Sam and Emily's place, watching some local news programme while Emily served up dinner, that all of us got a shock by one of the news items. There had been an accident on the road between Forks and Clearwater involving Rosalie Cullen and her Honda Civic. Apparently her car had been observed travelling fast and erratically not long before it left the highway and hit a tree head on. She died instantly and had been found to have four times the legal level of alcohol in her blood stream. A photograph of her was shown to the side of the news reader, looking just as cool and uninterested as the brief few times I had seen her.

Much as we weren't fond of the Cullens, all of the guys were horrified by it, not least because it brought back memories of Quil's crash, and Sam called Carlisle a few days later to offer condolences. I kind of felt as if I should call Emmett, but it wasn't like I really knew him. The evening we spent together hardly made me close to him and I didn't have his number anyway; if I had have done he probably would have just told me to fuck off. I hadn't exactly encouraged him to feel friendly towards me when I walked off the way I had. The funeral was held a week later and other than an obituary in the paper, nothing more was heard about the family until another three weeks on.

Sam had planned a surprise vacation for Emily's birthday - a week in New York with money for her to spend on tourist activities and to shop with. She had always longed to go there and cities weren't really Sam's cup of tea, so Emily was doubly pleased by his intention to take her. It was down to me to take them to the airport so they wouldn't have to leave the truck there all week and drive back after their flight home landed at three o'clock in the morning. I was used to late nights and was quite happy to make the trip twice.

I parked up at the airport and accompanied them to check in, having nothing better to do on a Friday morning than waste time until they went through to the departure lounge. Then I bought a ridiculously expensive bottle of coke from a vending machine and headed back to the parking lot. I was getting off the elevator when the doors of the next car sprang open and out stepped Emmett. He was the last person I expected to see at Sea-Tac and apparently the feeling was mutual as we just stood there and stared at each other. I tried to think of something witty to say and then remembered; shit, his sister died.

"I'm sorry about Rosalie," I said.

"Thanks." He turned and began to stride towards the parking lot, a large holdall in one hand. I hesitated for a moment and then caught him up and walked alongside. I don't know what I aimed to get out of the encounter, but I certainly felt sorry for him at that moment. He looked like hell, eyes haunted, face pale and shadowed with several days' stubble.

"What happened?" I asked.

"What do you care?" he growled at me without looking my way.

My usual response would have been to either say something insulting or lash out the way I always had, but I bit my tongue and waited to see if he would add to it.

"I'm sorry, Paul," he said after a minute or so walking in silence. "My head's screwed up over this."

"I know what it feels like, remember?" I said quietly.

"I doubt it."

Now I bristled and slowed down. "You think I didn't care about Quil?" I snapped at him. He halted and turned to look at me at last.

"I know you did. But did you feel guilty because a little part of you was glad he wouldn't bother you any more?"

"What the hell? What do you mean?"

"Rosalie wanted me," he said with a groan. "She wouldn't take no for an answer. I was constantly trying to avoid her, telling her to leave me alone. That night...I think she finally got the message. She was drunk, trying to flirt with me and I told her to fuck off and act like a sister because it was all she was ever going to be to me. She grabbed her keys, ran out of the house and...that was that. The cops came to tell us a couple hours later." He squeezed his eyes shut for a second and scrubbed a hand over his face. "I shouldn't feel relief...I'm sick with myself. I mean, she'd be alive if it wasn't for me."

I was shocked. Not by what he had told me - in a way I could understand that - but that he had told me at all. Then again, I had spilled out a few secrets to him not so long ago.

"You shouldn't beat yourself up about it," I said. "I can understand how you feel, if she was that much of an annoyance. And the guilt is certainly normal."

"I guess. How did you get through it?"

"The first couple weeks, I carried on acting like an asshole. I didn't really feel anything except sort of numb. Then this lawyer came and gave me a check and a letter Quil wrote for me and I fell apart. After that I got it together and started doing what he wanted me to do."

"You must have been pretty close," Emmett commented.

"Yeah, more than anybody else realised," I blurted out.

"You were together? Shit. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, it was a long time ago, we were kids."

"He was gay too?"

"Not after that summer, I must have put him off guys for life," I joked.

Emmett smiled faintly.

"We were just closer friends after. Kept each other's secrets," I added and then shut up. In my efforts to make him feel better I'd ending up giving away even more of myself to him. I didn't know what it was with him; I just seemed to want to talk about things.

"You must really miss him," Emmett said. "I'm pretty close to my brother, Jasper - more than the others. He's the only one that knows I'm gay."

I nodded. "At least one of them supports you. Where have you been?" I asked then.

"Alaska. We have cousins there; I went to visit for a couple weeks, to get away from all this shit."

"On your own?" I said in surprise.

"Yeah, I just felt uncomfortable being around the others. They kept telling me it wasn't my fault, but I'm sure they're thinking to themselves that she'd still be alive if I hadn't said what I did."

"There's no point thinking like that," I said.

"Yeah, well...what are you doing here?" he asked, starting to walk again.

"Sam's taking Emily to New York for a week, I said I'd drive them. They get back at 3am or something. So I guess I'm rattling around the house on my own until next weekend." I don't know why I said that. The minute it was out of my mouth I realised it sounded like a pretty obvious invitation, but it was too late to take it back. I doubted he picked up on it; he was digging keys out of his pocket now and just nodding absently.

"You left the GTR here?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah, stupid, right? I wasn't really thinking when I set off. It's alarmed and immobilised, I just hope no one scratched it or anything." He turned left between a line of vehicles and I spotted the white GTR crouching between a station wagon and a small town car. I followed him rather than head off straight to the truck and joined in walking around the car, peering at the bodywork.

"Seems ok," I commented, stooping to check the alloys. "Only dust."

"Thanks." He opened the door, threw his bag in and slid into the driver's seat. "I guess I'll see you." The door slammed and he fired up the engine. I backed away and watched as the beast roared past me, its growl echoing around the underground lot until it disappeared up the slope towards daylight.

I drove home slowly. Somehow I doubted I would see Emmett again any time soon and I wasn't sure if that disappointed me or not. Running into him now had certainly reminded me of that night in Zieglers and I realised I still thought he was hotter than hell, regardless of his miserable face and stubble. If anything the latter just made him look more rugged.

Later I ate dinner, took a shower and headed back into Forks to work. For a Friday it was a quiet night as regards trouble. I worked the door with Ray and we spent the evening laughing and joking with everyone that came into the club. By the time I got home, considering the long two-way drive in the morning, I was exhausted and I fell into bed and went out like a light within seconds. I had completely forgotten about seeing Emmett earlier and I didn't think about him again until Saturday evening when I headed off to LA's again.

In contrast to Friday, Saturday was filled with drama. Two guys started fighting on the dancefloor over a girl, one of them fell on a girl watching and her boyfriend joined in the scuffle. Fists and feet were flying in all directions and Steve and I waded in to break it up. We removed all three guys from the club which didn't amuse them at all. The third guy tried to land one on Steve, obviously not succeeding, while I then had to deal with his girl screaming at me and trying to slap my face because they had been minding their own business and wanted their cover charges back.

Once that was over, a catfight broke out between two girls, resulting in Steve sustaining claw marks to his face and my shirt sleeve being ripped. The girls were soon out on the street, screaming insults back at us.

"Shit, girls are vicious," Steve said. "Give me guys to deal with any day."

I smirked to myself. I agreed totally, but not in the way he meant.

Various other problems occurred throughout the night and by the time we locked up at three, we had made a record number of evictions from the club and the cleaners were going to have a hell of a job on their hands in the morning. I changed out of my work clothes in the locker room with the others, pulled my cargo pants and tank top on and set off for home. Sunday was my day off this week, so it would be two days before I set foot in the place again.

I had started coming to work in the Skyline recently, realising it wasn't getting half as much use as I would like and it was a dream to drive. The club did have a private parking lot with metal gates that usually only Mr Barraco and Ray used, but the boss had given me permission to use it too after he praised my work and I let slip I had a decent car. Now Ray unlocked the gates and I moved my car out first since it was blocking the other two in the small space.

I drove back slowly along the cliff road between Forks and La Push, the windows down, listening to the growl of the engine. I would get Jake to tune it some more soon. My money from the club was mounting up and I had stopped using Quil's fund for my martial arts lessons and replaced what I spent of it. Another hundred horsepower would be awesome, I thought, not that I even considered racing still.

The route took me past the end of the long drive which led up through the forest to the Cullens' mansion and as I passed it, suddenly I saw headlights flick on in my rearview mirror, angling across the road before turning to follow me. I squinted in the mirrors, trying to make out the vehicle, but the bright lights hid what was behind them. However, the shape of the lights was pretty distinctive and when I turned off the road towards the Reservation moments later and the car continued following me, I knew it was Emmett's GTR.

My pulse sped up and suddenly my palms were slippery on the steering wheel. I wiped them on my pants legs, annoyed with myself for being excited. He had apparently picked up on the invitation after all and was coming over for...what? I immediately pictured us in my bed and my cock began to stiffen. Fuck no, he's not staying over. We'll have some fun, period, I thought.

I turned the Skyline onto Sam's drive and parked up by the front door. Thank God the house was a good distance from any of the others - no one else in the area owned a GTR and the last thing I wanted was anyone noticing I had Emmett visiting in the middle of the night. I slid out of the car, locked the door and glanced over my shoulder. The GTR was hovering at the end of the driveway and I turned away again and went to unlock the house. When I stepped in and looked back he was just disappearing down the side of the house between the building and the cluster of trees bordering the property, making himself less conspicuous. I grinned to myself and went inside, leaving the front door wide open. I needed a shower and I grabbed a pair of jeans from my room and went into the bathroom.

I was almost breathless, my heart pounding when I stepped under the hot water, having left the door open just a couple inches. I didn't leave it open to ask him to come in, but so I could hear what he was doing. I heard shoes on the wood floor just inside the door, then the door closed quietly. Footsteps going down the hall towards the lounge. I grabbed the shower gel and began to scrub myself vigorously, scowling at my erection which was curving up against my stomach, eager to have Emmett touching it. Biting my lip to suppress the yell I would normally have let out, I switched the water to cold for a minute to calm myself down. Shivering, I finished showering, dried quickly and pulled on the jeans, then brushed my teeth. There was no sound coming from the lounge and I wondered what he was doing. If he was wandering about looking at things I would have heard footsteps - the whole house had wood floors except for the bedrooms.

I pulled the door open slowly and looked down the hall. He was leaning on the door jamb to the lounge, wearing a light grey shirt, dark dress pants and polished shoes, a full bottle of Jack in one hand. He was clean shaven again and looked much better than the last time I'd seen him; who was I kidding? He looked fucking hot and I had to restrain myself from simply throwing myself at him. I noticed his eyes drop from my face to my naked chest and I realised making myself suffer the cold shower had been a complete waste - my jeans were already much too tight.

"Got some glasses?" Emmett asked, raising the bottle slightly.

"Yeah." I turned towards the kitchen to grab some tumblers, doubting that we would actually make much of an impression on the bourbon if the way he was looking at me was anything to go by.


	9. Chapter 9

**Wow, you guys are all leaving me some great reviews, so thank you very much, every one is very much appreciated. I know a lot of you are frustrated with me leaving the last chapter where I did, but I can't promise this one will make it a whole lot better ;o) **

CHAPTER NINE

**Paul's POV**

Emmett was still waiting at the lounge door when I returned with the tumblers in one hand. I took the bottle from him as I stepped past him into the room and he followed slowly. My mouth was dry as I sat down at one end of the long sofa and broke the seal on the bourbon. I poured two generous measures and passed him one as he lowered himself onto the next cushion. I had never been in this position before - a second meeting with someone I'd had a sexual encounter with. I didn't count Quil because we had pretty much always been comfortable with each other and when we weren't, we just made ourselves talk and get over it. I was nervous with a guy for about the first time in my life and although part of me was eager for things to just move along so that we could relieve each other, the other part cursed me for letting him know I was alone in the house this week. I hardly even knew what to say to him, but we couldn't just sit there in silence.

"Hope you weren't waiting long," I grunted.

"No, fifteen minutes maybe. I knew LA's closed at three, I figured you'd be passing by within about a half hour of that. I wasn't too sure which was Sam's house," he explained, passing his glass from one hand to the other. He looked about as nervous as I felt. "Thought it would be easier to just follow you."

"Sure," I nodded. "How are things now you're back from Alaska?"

"Better. Almost normal, at least with Jasper and Edward."

"And where do they all think you are now?" I asked, relaxing a touch. "Tucked up in bed?"

"Probably. They all went to their rooms hours ago." He lifted the glass to his lips and gulped the contents quickly, cleared his throat and reached for the bottle to fill up. "You know, I don't really do this."

"Do what?"

"Meet up with guys after, you know, meeting the first time."

"Huh, no, me neither."

"Not that I never wanted to, I guess most of the people you meet in bars are only after a quick bit of fun."

"Yeah, well if you're looking for more than that, Zieglers isn't the place to do it," I said. I wasn't too sure I liked the way the conversation was going. He sounded like he was expecting more to come out of this than just two guys fooling around with each other again, although annoyingly the thought was making my heart pound and I had to swap hands with my own glass to stop my slippery palm from dropping it.

"Why'd you invite me back here then?" Emmett asked. "I mean, that was an invite, right? Rattling around in the house alone for a week?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time," I blurted and his face fell. He put his glass down on the table.

"I should probably get out of here," he said.

Fuck. What the hell was wrong with me? I was screwing it all up because I didn't know how to behave in this situation; I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to sound keen. But right now I was keen - keen to have his hands on me at least.

"I didn't mean that, forget I said it," I told him, putting my own glass on the table quickly. "Stuff comes out of my mouth before my brain connects to my tongue."

"Well, shut up then."

"What?"

"I said, shut up." Emmett smirked and before I realised what was happening, his hand had snaked around the back of my neck and his mouth was descending onto mine. It was my first instinct to push him away and I got as far as raising my hand to his chest, where it landed right over his heart. It was pounding as if it meant to burst out of him and my fingertips felt heated skin where they rested in the opening of the unfastened part of his shirt. His lips slid over mine and his tongue emerged, thrusting into my slightly open mouth in an instant. My already hard cock pulsed eagerly and to my annoyance I heard myself groan as I began to respond.

Emmett's other hand came to rest on my knee and although I was aware of it, for once all I could really think about was the way he was kissing me. His tongue toyed with mine, lips crushing and caressing, sucking the breath out of me and I found myself holding onto him with both hands, pulling him closer against me. He drew his mouth away from mine after another moment and dropped his head towards my neck, his teeth grazing the skin just above my shoulder while his hand slid up my thigh, squeezing and tormenting me as his fingers came within an inch or two of my balls, but didn't touch. Eyes closed, I felt for his shirt buttons and began unfastening them rapidly, pulling the bottom of the garment out of his pants and pushing it off his shoulders. He took his hands off of me briefly to slide his arms free and then he was gripping my shoulders, pushing me back against the sofa cushions, shifting his body so that we were lying together, one of his legs between mine and the erection inside his pants pressing against my thigh. His lips returned to mine hungrily and I kissed him back without hesitation, panting into his mouth as he reached a hand down between us and began releasing the buttons of my jeans, his knuckles brushing my cock as he worked his way down.

Curiously the fact that he was more in control of the situation than I was turned me on even more than if I had been calling the shots. I hated guys behaving like they had the upper hand with me, but right now, I wasn't doing much more than lie there and respond to him taking the lead and I felt like I could erupt without him even touching me properly. He released the last button and my cock thrust up into his hand. He stroked firmly up and down its length a few times, moving his mouth to my neck again, allowing us both to breathe better. I groaned in protest when he stopped touching me and opened my eyes as his body moved away. He sat back on the sofa and grasped the sides of my jeans, beginning to draw them down and I lifted my butt up slightly to allow them to slip out from under me. I was naked, my cock rigid against my stomach and I wrapped my hand around it automatically, aching for release as I watched Emmett get up and begin to take off his clothes, shoes and socks first, then the smart pants. He was wearing tight jersey shorts underneath, the tip of his cock visible above the waistband. I fixed my eyes on it as he slid his thumbs into the waistband and began to lower them, uncovering his erection and shoving them down his legs.

I stroked myself impatiently until he returned to the sofa, kneeling between my feet and pushing my legs further apart to give himself more room. I obligingly spread them further open and took my hand off of myself as he bent over me, teasing the head of my cock with the tip of his tongue and trailing his fingers up the insides of my thighs, making me shiver. I pulled my left knee up and hooked my ankle over the back of the sofa as he wrapped one hand around the base of my shaft and dipped his head lower, taking half of my length into his mouth. His free hand cupped my balls, caressing and squeezing, making the pressure building there leap forward a notch.

"Fuck," I hissed, thrusting myself upwards. Emmett responded by letting me slip from his mouth and I groaned in frustration as he continued teasing me with his hand, lowering his head further and drawing one of my balls into his mouth instead, rolling it around on his tongue until a sound that sounded suspiciously like a whine escaped me. I bit my lip and ground my teeth together, digging my fingers into the sofa cushions and squirming helplessly. Damnit, I was completely at his mercy and much as he was torturing me, I didn't want it to end.

He returned his attention to my cock after a moment, licking up and down its length, his tongue circling the head every so often, capturing the pre-cum which had begun to ooze from me, his hand still gripping and slightly stroking the base. At last he took me in his mouth again and at the same time, I felt the end of a moist finger feeling for my hole, stroking over it lightly. Moments from orgasm, aching and desperate, I thrust myself more urgently into his mouth and felt the end of the digit beginning to push into me. Shit. My muscles clenched up and I slid my foot off of the back of the sofa and dropped it onto his wrist. I opened my eyes and glanced down, meeting his as he raised them questioningly.

Fuck, I was so horny and for a moment I really didn't know why I stopped him. I guess no one had ever done that since Quil and it was making things a little too close for comfort. This was still supposed to only be a brief encounter, wasn't it? I let my eyes close again and Emmett resumed sucking me, lowering his head further and further until the head of my cock was in his throat and his nose brushing my belly. Hell, he was good at this. I lifted my hand to the back of his head and clutched at his hair, letting myself go with a loud groan as I erupted in just a few more seconds. He raised his head slowly, drawing every last drop from me before he lifted himself up and then lowered himself back down on top of me, his cock digging into my stomach as his mouth touched mine. I slid my tongue out, teasing his upper lip and tasting the slightly sour saltiness of myself. I drew his lower lip between my teeth and nipped gently, running one hand down his back to his butt. He rubbed himself against me, his erection bumping mine, which hadn't even begun to soften.

Rather than pull away and allow me to return the favour, he stayed where he was, propping himself up slightly and sliding one band between us, gripping us both while thrusting himself against me, the heat of his cock and the friction created between them and our bodies driving me towards another orgasm, much faster than I expected. He came a moment before me, his hot fluid spurting onto my belly, the feel of it and the sound of him gasping in my ear pushing me over the edge. Shuddering, he removed his hand and let his weight sink onto me, his back now slick with sweat under my hand. His lips touched my ear and then my neck.

"Think I better use your shower," he panted.

"Yeah, I might as well not have bothered earlier," I grinned.

He pulled away from me and got to his feet and after a moment I rose too and followed him to the bathroom. I wasn't sure how I felt - conflicted, certainly. He made me feel amazing and after the first few awkward moments, he was easy to be with. I remembered the other time in Zieglers where we sat talking, me spilling out all kinds of personal shit to him without a second thought, perfectly relaxed. I liked this and it would be all too easy to get used to.

Emmett turned on the hot water and grabbed my shower gel as it cascaded down his body and I watched as he ran his hands over himself before I went to join him. Could I really do this, I wondered? I knew he was looking for more than just a quick bit of fun and it wasn't something I had ever considered until now, as I stood under the shower with the hottest guy in the world and realised I actually liked him too, more than just because of how well he could get me off. This thought actually made me pretty nervous and I scrubbed myself quickly, turned the water off and grabbed a towel. I could tell Emmett was disappointed as he began to dry himself and I felt guilty and then irritated with myself. He probably expected us to go to bed now and sleep together, but I just couldn't do it. It was too intimate and if I was totally honest, the idea scared the hell out of me. I returned to the lounge quickly, grabbed my jeans and pulled them on. It was past four-thirty and what I really wanted was food and sleep. I went into the kitchen, took out some slices of bread and put them in the toaster, wondering what Emmett liked on his toast. Peanut butter? Jelly? Cheese?

I heard his fancy shoes walking out of the lounge a minute later and looked out of my shoulder as he headed down the hallway towards the front door.

"You're going?" I blurted out in surprise.

"Yeah." He halted, pulling his keys out of his pocket. "Don't want to outstay my welcome."

Shit. I was partly relieved I didn't have to make some excuse and partly disappointed the brief episode was already over.

"You're leaving the Jack?" I asked.

Emmett just shrugged.

"I guess you could come back for a few more shots...if you want."

His eyes lit up in an instant. They looked more blue with the grey shirt, I noticed. "What about tomorrow?" he suggested. "Are you working?"

"No."

"I could come over around...eight?" he suggested. "Bring pizza or something?"

"Yeah." Just go with it, I told myself. Will it kill you to enjoy the guy's company a little longer? "Sounds good," I added.

"Any particular type?"

"I don't care, I'll eat anything."

"Ok. I'll see you." He opened the door and went outside.

I stayed where I was, burning the toast and listening to the sound of the GTR making its way out from behind the house and taking off up the road. The smoke alarm went off and I hit the switch on the toaster and grabbed a towel, flapping at the damned squealing device and cursing. I had a feeling I was playing with fire and it was nothing to do with the toaster. Emmett was going to be trouble and I couldn't seem to save myself from it.

**Emmett's POV**

Paul was fucking hard work I thought as I drove home. He would let himself go every so often and it seemed like I got to see what he was really like, what he wanted to be like, and then he would catch himself and pull it back as if he was telling himself to back off and avoid...what? A relationship? Getting hurt? I hadn't missed the way he almost gave in and let me take things further and then stopped it suddenly. If he never went back for seconds with anyone then I would have been willing to bet nothing ever went further than giving head, but had he fucked Quil, I wondered? Maybe he hated it and didn't want to go there again, or maybe he liked it and didn't want to spoil the memory by doing it with someone else. Who the hell knew? I wished he would talk to me more. In Zieglers he had seemed to loosen up, telling me all kinds of stuff about his friend and his plans for a business, but tonight he had been more reserved in what he said. What had happened to him to make him so closed off?

Was it worth it, I asked myself? Making an effort to be with someone who seemed to be warring with himself all the time. Hell, yes, was the answer. I was probably setting myself up for a fall, but shit, I _liked_ him. He was interesting, could be funny if he stopped being so careful and he was fucking hotter than hell. He turned me on more than anyone ever had before and we'd hardly even done anything yet. He only had to look at my cock and I wanted to explode. Aside from that though, I wanted to get to know him more; I wanted to uncover whatever he was hiding that seemed to be screwing him up; I wanted to make it better. I was probably being a complete dick and would regret it, but what the hell. I had a week before Sam and Emily got back from New York - a week where I could spend time with him away from prying eyes, maybe get him to open up and let me get closer. Perhaps it would be a waste of time, but I would give it my best shot. I had seen glimpses of a man who was worth the effort.

I parked up ten minutes later and let myself into the house. All was silent and in darkness and I took my shoes off and tiptoed up the carpeted stairs to my room. I opened the door, stepped inside and was just about to close it when a hand stopped it and Jasper's face appeared in the gap. I moved back with a sigh and let him in. Now I was going to get the third degree.

"Where have you been?" he asked quietly as he closed the door behind him and flicked the light on. He blinked rapidly for a moment and then squinted at me. "Your hair's wet, is it raining?"

"Wouldn't the rest of me be wet if that was the case?" I said, chewing my lip to suppress a smirk.

"Come on, Emmett, where've you been? With a guy?" Jasper pressed.

"Yes, if you must know."

"Who? Do I know him?"

"Jas, don't ask me about this, ok?"

"You know I won't tell anyone."

"I just don't want to talk about it right now."

"So was it a date? I mean, you went out at three a.m., it's not like you could have been going to a bar to pick someone up."

"Jas..." I groaned. "It was just a...a moment, ok? I don't know if it's going anywhere. If it does, then I'll tell you."

"Damn you, now I'm curious as hell," Jasper responded.

"Too bad, it won't hurt you," I grinned. "Go back to bed, I need sleep."

"Spoilsport." He left me to it and crept out of the room. When he was gone I turned the light off, removed my clothes and slid into bed. I was exhausted, having been unable to sleep before I went to see Paul, excitement refusing to let me relax. I closed my eyes and despite the constant thoughts of him running through my mind, I began to drift into sleep almost immediately.

I didn't wake until ten-thirty, the fragments of a dream still lingering as I opened my eyes. I had only just gotten over the nightmares about the crash with Quil when Rosalie died and that had been haunting me since. At last I wasn't plagued with the remnants of a bad dream, but instead my heart pounded and my cock throbbed as I recalled the images of Paul and me in bed together that I had created in my head. I hoped that one day I would be in his bed - maybe tonight.

I hauled myself out of bed reluctantly and then hastily grabbed my shirt from the floor to cover myself up as Jasper burst in, grinning.

"Jesus, can't you knock?" I groaned.

"Sorry. Guess you were dreaming about him, huh?" he chortled and I felt myself flushing. "Mom wants to know if you're sick or you want brunch. You never sleep this late." He winked now.

"Go away. Tell her I'll be down in ten."

He backed out of the room quickly and closed the door. Luckily my erection had begun to subside and I took some fresh clothes out of the wardrobe and dressed quickly. By the time I got to the kitchen Alice was talking excitedly about some new guy she had met and everyone's attention was on her. Edward glanced at me and gave me a smile, but no one questioned me being up so late. I just wondered how I was going to explain myself tomorrow - assuming Paul let me stay over which he probably wouldn't.

I found myself counting off the hours, repeatedly glancing at my wristwatch as the day crawled by.

"Are you late for something?" Edward asked me at one point.

I shrugged. "Just feel like I should be doing something. I'm going out later anyway."

"Got a date?" he said in surprise.

"Yeah, sure, Ed. Just drinking with a couple of friends in Forks."

"What friends?"

"The two guys from the last show that kept photographing my car," Jasper said suddenly, meeting my eyes over Edward's head. "Doug and...um...Adam?"

My eyebrows rose and I was glad Edward wasn't looking at me. "Yeah," I said and hustled Jasper out of the room a moment later. "Who the fuck are Doug and Adam?"

"I'm reading 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'," he said as if that explained things. "It was the best I could think of. Douglas Adams?"

"Thanks...I guess." I was still none the wiser. I didn't read if I could help it, not since we were forced to do it in school.

Jasper spent a couple hours with me until at last the evening arrived and he went to have dinner with the others while I got a quick shower, pulled on jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt and headed out to my car. It was seven-twenty and I had checked earlier on the internet to find out where I could get pizza. Carlisle and Esme didn't eat pizza and the rest of us only got it if we were out. Luckily there was a pizzeria on the edge of the Reservation and I went there first, hoping I wasn't going to run into any of Paul's friends which would be sure to raise a few eyebrows.

There were four people waiting for pizzas, but a girl was ready to take my order and it seemed the kitchen was manned by three people. I ordered garlic bread and a fifteen inch double pepperoni and was told the food would be twenty minutes. I sat down in a corner and glanced at a car magazine while I waited and by seven-fifty I was back in the car, my mouth watering at the scent of pizza and garlic as I drove the mile or so to Sam's house. I parked between the house wall and the trees as I had before and went to the door. It opened a second before I rang the bell to reveal Paul wearing cut-offs and a tank top.

"Hey, come in," he said.

"Thanks. Pepperoni ok?" I asked, handing him the boxes.

"I told you I eat anything," he responded, heading towards the lounge.

"Yeah, even me." I wasn't sure how well that would go down, but he burst into sudden laughter and looked over his shoulder at me.

"I'd rather have you in my mouth than a lot of things."

"Fuck, do you actually want to eat any of this pizza or shall we just save it for breakfast?" I joked, surprised by his comment.

"Planning on staying for breakfast?" His eyebrows lifted a touch, but the smile was still on his face.

"Yeah, but I hope there's something better than cold pizza in the refrigerator," I said lightly.

"Better eat this now then, before it gets cold." He sat down at one end of the sofa and placed the boxes on the cushion next to him. I sat the other side of them and we shared the food and a couple beers that were already on the coffee table. He seemed more relaxed than he had the previous night and we chatted easily over the meal. Paul took the boxes to the kitchen when they were empty and I heard him removing more bottles from the refrigerator.

"You want another beer?" he called.

I didn't really and I got up and walked through to the other room. "No, I'm good."

"Ok. Maybe bourbon later." He stuck the bottles back where he got them from and closed the door. When he turned back towards me I put my hands on his shoulders and moved in for a kiss. I was hungry for him now and so far the evening had gone well; I just couldn't wait for what I guessed would follow.

He kissed me back heatedly and I pushed him back against the refrigerator, my body resting against his as we devoured each other, lips crushed against teeth, tongues fighting for dominance and our hands gripping each other tightly. My cock squirmed its way upright in my jeans and I pressed myself harder against Paul's body, feeling his erection against my own. Breathless, I broke the kiss and drew back a few inches. I didn't want just a quick fumble right there or on the couch this time, but would he feel the same?

"Where's your room?" I asked. His eyes snapped open and met mine and I found I was holding my breath as I waited for an answer.


	10. Chapter 10

**As always, thank you all for reading and reviewing. Some of you have been waiting with baited breath for this one ;o) **

CHAPTER TEN

**Paul's POV**

"Second left," I said gruffly.

Emmett turned away from me at once and made his way to my room, leaving me to follow him or not. I followed. Much as I had been arguing with myself about it, I had been looking forward to seeing him since he left in the early hours of the morning and feeling more than a little guilty for not having asked him to stick around. I hadn't slept well and had spent most of the day lounging around in front of the television, texting excuses to the other guys as to why I wasn't going to see them and glancing at the clock every five minutes, wishing I didn't feel so excited. I didn't want him to start getting under my skin; it was still only a temporary thing after all, even though it was already much more than I had anticipated.

My heart was slamming against my ribs when I entered my room and found Emmett sitting on my bed, still dressed, but with a lustful expression on his face visible in the moonlight shining in the window. I moved closer to him and he reached out to me immediately, resting his hands on my hips for a second before pushing my tank top up to expose my abs and pressing his lips against them. I pulled the garment off over my head quickly while he nibbled at my flesh, his hands fumbling with the zipper on my cut-offs, releasing it eventually and letting them fall to my ankles. My erection bumped his throat and he drew his head back and captured it in his mouth.

We didn't really do anything that we hadn't done before. I stayed where I was, standing in front of him, my hands gripping the back of his head as he sucked me eagerly, one hand following the movement of his mouth and the other arm wrapped around me, holding me tight as my legs threatened to buckle with my orgasm. When he finished I dropped down to my knees on the carpet and returned the favour, both of us rushing to get him out of his clothes and then me delighting in the taste of him as I kneeled between his thighs.

Afterwards Emmett rolled into the middle of the bed and while I hesitated he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down against him, wrapping both arms around me and kissing me. I melted into it, holding onto him tightly and noticing every detail - the taste of our combined fluids on our tongues, the rapid thumping of his heart against my own, hard flesh and muscle against me, warm breath on my cheek as he breathed through his nose, his cock, barely softened, beginning to stiffen again as did mine. I didn't want to think about anything else - I wanted to enjoy being with him and not fight with myself over how I wasn't doing myself any favours by letting him get this close to me. I forced the niggling doubts to the back of my mind and slid my hand between us, grasping his cock and rubbing it against my own, increasing our arousal until Emmett broke the kiss, gasping and covered my hand with his, using both together to take us over the edge a second time.

Panting and weak-kneed we shared a shower, washing each other and fooling about and still I was relaxed and enjoying myself. I was getting pretty tired however, having had little sleep and after I dried myself I headed back to my room and collapsed on the bed flat on my back. Emmett joined me, seeming surprised that I hadn't suggested it was time for him to leave. He lay on his side facing me and even though I had closed my eyes I knew he was staring at me. His hand touched the back of mine where it rested on my stomach and he laced our fingers together.

It was my first instinct to pull away; I just wasn't used to any sort of intimate contact. Sex was one thing, but cuddling and holding hands I hadn't experienced, not even with Quil. Things hadn't been like that between us - we had been friends first and lovers second and when we finished with each other, we had usually fallen asleep with our backs to each other. I didn't count the girls I had been with - that had merely been going through the motions and all of them had thought me cold and unloving when I avoided kissing and cuddling as much as possible.

Even as I thought about all of this, Emmett was moving closer to me until his body rested against my side, his hand that held mine sliding across me until his arm was effectively wrapped around me. He kissed my shoulder and then pressed his face into my neck. It felt too good to break away from and I stayed where I was, listening to his slowing breaths as he relaxed and I felt myself rapidly drifting into sleep.

When I woke some hours later, the room still in darkness, I was horny as hell. I was lying on my front, my cock hard and uncomfortable as it lay pointing downwards between my legs, but at the same time it was pulsing with excitement. My legs were spread slightly and I could feel the tips of Emmett's fingers stroking the head of my cock while his thumb probed between my cheeks. I hadn't intended to fall asleep with him - I should have sent him packing beforehand although he had felt so good next to me I hadn't been able to - but now all I could think about was how much I wanted him. I was already leaking pre-cum and I could feel he was in the same state, his cock rubbing against my hip as he gyrated slightly. I sucked my breath in hard and he immediately bent over me, his mouth finding my ear and the tip of his tongue teasing the lobe before he bit gently. At the same time his hand cupped my balls and squeezed, drawing a deep groan from me. His mouth touched my neck, his teeth grazing the skin and he removed his hand from me for a second and brought it to his mouth before lowering it again. The tip of a moistened finger stroked over my perineum and began to tease my hole. Fuck.

I hadn't meant for things to get this far. It was supposed to just be a bit of fun, fooling around with hands and mouths the same as I always did. But somehow I slept with him and now I was sliding my legs further apart, giving him an invitation. His body shifted until it hovered over mine, his knees moving between mine before he lowered himself and ground his cock against my butt.

"Emmett..." I groaned. I was going to tell him to fuck off. No way was I doing this. I didn't want him, not really, it was just a spur of the moment thing, having woken up hard. I certainly didn't want it going any further. His cock was big; much too big when you considered I hadn't done this in five years. He shifted slightly and it nestled in my crack, hot, throbbing, slippery wet at the end, eager to thrust into me. His breath was warm on my neck and he moaned as he rubbed himself against me. My erection pulsed fiercely and my heart raced. I stopped thinking and simply felt.

"What?" he muttered.

"Fuck me."

His response was a groan and he pulled away from me, sitting back on his heels and gripping my hips, pulling me up onto hands and knees.

"Have you got condoms?"

"Yeah. Top drawer," I panted.

He leaned over towards the cabinet, pulled the drawer open and grabbed the pack of Trojan and the bottle of lube in there. Emmett placed both on the mattress within reach and then moved away from me further. I dropped my head lower and glanced behind me, catching sight of his erection curving up against his stomach, throbbing and dripping. Then his hands came to rest on my butt cheeks, pulling them wider apart. A second later his tongue was there, teasing me, circling my hole, making me wet and turning me into a quivering mess.

"Oh, fuck..." I bent my elbows and rested my forearms on the mattress and my head between them as he continued licking and teasing, after a few minutes carefully inserting one finger an inch or so into me. I forced myself to relax and breathed out slowly.

"Christ, you're so fucking tight," he said softly. "You have done this before, right?"

"Yeah."

He sat up and reached around me with his free hand, grasping my cock and stroking lightly while his finger pressed deeper and then began to slide backwards and forwards. I moaned helplessly and clutched at the mattress, tormented by the annoyingly slow movements, wanting him to speed up and make me come, but guessing he was going to draw it out as long as possible. His finger withdrew after another minute or two although his other hand kept pumping my cock steadily. I looked back again and watched as he squeezed lube into his hand, spreading it over his fingers before sliding one back into me, a second joining it almost immediately, stretching me uncomfortably until I became used to it. The lube felt briefly cold and deliciously slippery and I found myself pushing back against his hand, eager for more. His fingers plunged deeper into me and I whined when they bumped my prostate. I wasn't going to last much longer, but it seemed that now he didn't want me to. His hand on my cock and the fingers inside me both quickened their pace and I rocketed towards orgasm, feeling my balls contracting and the pressure building up rapidly.

"Come for me, Paul," Emmett said and almost as if he had pulled a trigger, I erupted, spurting all over the mattress beneath me and into his hand.

I panted and groaned, my chest heaving as he took his hand off of my cock and wiped it on the bedding. His fingers stayed inside me, making a gentle scissoring motion now, gradually stretching me out until a third finger entered. Despite my relaxed state, I flinched and raised my head, clenching my teeth to suppress a whimper. Emmett had fairly thick fingers, but his cock was still bigger. Even though he was taking his time preparing me, even now adding more lube, I knew it was going to hurt, but hell, I couldn't wait. Eventually his fingers withdrew and I heard him opening the condom pack and putting one onto himself. He took his time and I shuffled impatiently, biting my lip as I was tempted to tell him to hurry up and get on with it. I listened to the wet sound of lube being slicked onto him and then his hand was on my hip, the other guiding his cock, the blunt head of it pushing against me. It slid in smoothly a couple inches and then he stopped moving, one hand reaching around my waist to grasp my half softened cock, lightly stroking it back to life before he pushed forward again slowly. I moaned in discomfort and he pulled back, waiting another moment before continuing an inch at a time until he bottomed out inside me. He began to move slowly, a fraction either way until I became more used to it, the burn lessening until I was thrusting myself back against him, encouraging him to pull out further and plunge deeper and harder. I pushed his hand off of my cock and began to work it myself, leaving his hands free to hold onto my hips as he picked up the pace, his balls slapping against me, his breath coming in harsh gasps as he fucked me.

"God, that feels so good," I moaned, grimacing at the sound of my shaky voice. My body was slick with sweat, Emmett's fingers digging hard into my flesh to hold onto me and my lungs strained to suck in more oxygen as I breathed harder, bracing one hand against the wall in front of me and shoving myself back onto him. I felt the moment he came, pulsing inside me and shouting out my name, the feeling and the sound bringing me to the finish immediately.

He pulled out of me slowly and peeled off the condom and I collapsed sideways onto the mattress, avoiding the wet patches I had made on the sheet. Emmett stretched out beside me and pulled me over to face him, my head coming to rest on his bicep. His lips touched mine, a light caress and I returned it, then just relaxed against him and closed my eyes.

Somehow it felt right, like I was supposed to be with him like this, holding each other in the aftermath of sex. I liked the feeling and I wondered if now I had stepped over the invisible line I had drawn for myself, whether things would be different. Part of me almost hoped it could be more than this and that we could be together, but the doubts that I had suppressed earlier were trying to creep back into my mind and spoil things. There was no point letting myself actually feel anything for him - it would be a waste and he would just leave me like everybody else had.

"Paul..." His lips touched my cheek. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, why?"

"I don't know, you felt like you tensed up or something."

"I'm fine," I said shortly.

"Shall I go?"

"No!" My eyes flew open and met his and his lips stretched into a smile immediately.

"Good, I want to stay; I want to be with you," he whispered.

He was looking at me like I was important to him, like he meant what he said and I closed my eyes to shut it out. I was so confused about the whole damned thing now, worse than before. I determinedly pushed my thoughts away again and made myself relax. It was still somewhere in the early hours of the morning and I wanted more sleep. Maybe things would seem clearer in the morning.

They didn't, of course. I woke in Emmett's arms with daylight streaming in through the window, my body itchy with dried sweat and my bladder bursting. I pulled away from him and headed for the bathroom, going over the night's events in my head while I used the toilet, scrubbed my teeth and got in the shower. It was Monday and I needed to get back into my usual routine. There was barely any food in the house and I had a kick boxing class in the afternoon. What was Emmett's routine, I wondered? Did he have work? Or would he stay a bit longer with me?

"Hey..." He appeared in the bathroom at that moment and I nodded as I lathered myself in shower gel, watching as he took a piss and came to join me. I saw the scar to the left side of his belly and wondered why I hadn't noticed it before. Probably too busy looking at his cock. I smirked and lifted my hand to touch the pale mark.

"This from the stab wound?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?" I asked.

He took the shower gel from me and began to wash himself. "It was some junkie or wino - I found money someone had dropped in the park, thought I could feed myself for a while with it. The guy saw me pick it up and I guess he thought he'd rather use it for his next fix than see me eat. I got away, but he chased me and stuck the knife in."

"You were lucky it didn't do more damage," I said.

"Yeah. I was sick for a while, got some kind of infection. Mind if I ask you something?"

"I guess," I said warily.

"What's with your family? I know you said don't ask, but I figured things are a little different now. I want to know more about you."

"Fuck, Emmett," I groaned. He would bring that up, but I guessed I could give him a little - the part that most people knew. "Most of it I don't even want to think about. But I can tell you my Dad beat the shit out of Mom and me for years. The fucker went back to Tacoma not long after I left when I was sixteen and I haven't seen him since."

"Shit, Paul, I'm sorry." His face immediately filled with sympathy. "Where's your Mom now?"

"Dead."

"Fuck." His arms slid around me and I let him hug me. When I didn't pull away his arms tightened and he kissed my neck. I stayed there resting against him for another few seconds and then my stomach rumbled loudly and I snorted with laughter, relieved by the amusing tension breaker.

"You want breakfast?" I offered.

"Thanks." Grinning, he let go of me and I got out of the shower, dried off a little and wrapped the towel around my waist. I left him in the shower and went to search through the mostly empty refrigerator for food. I made coffee and grilled cheese and Emmett appeared a few minutes later, his jeans on but only half-fastened, a tantalising glimpse of dark hair visible. My cellphone jangled on the kitchen counter and drew my attention away from him. The screen announced the caller as Jared and I diverted the call to the answer service, then turned back to the kettle.

"How do you drink coffee?"

"Black and sweet."

I dumped two sugars into his mug and turned to pass it to him, finding him with my phone in his hand. I put the mug on the counter in front of him.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting my number in your phone. Then you can call me or delete it, whatever you want."

"You think I'd delete it?"

"I don't know, it doesn't seem like it right now." He put the phone down and picked up the coffee. "I have to work later; I make deliveries for my Mom. She designs jewellery and stuff. I have to make a trip to Portland."

"Taking the GTR?" I asked.

"Yeah. You working?"

"No, the club's closed on Mondays. I have other stuff to do though."

I piled the grilled cheese on a plate and offered him some. He dug in with gusto immediately and we ate in silence, eyeing each other every so often. When I finished mine I went to find some clothes, pulling on jeans and a t-shirt and glancing at myself in the mirror on the wardrobe door. I looked weird, I thought. No, not weird - relaxed and cheerful? Usually my brows were drawn together in a scowl even when I was by myself. I began stripping the sheets off of the bed, smirking at the stains on them as I remembered how they got there.

Emmett came in to find his shirt and shoes and by the time I had bundled the bedding into the washing machine he was pulling out his keys, ready to leave. I almost expected him to come over and kiss me goodbye, but he didn't. He just said he hoped he would see me soon and then headed for the door. A minute later I heard the GTR driving away and I sighed heavily and picked up my phone, thinking I should listen to Jared's message. The first thing I did was scroll through my numbers until I reached the 'E' section. Yes, there was an extra number. Embry, Emily, Emmett. Emmett. Damn him. I _wanted_ to call him. Everything that had happened last night, the sex, the kissing, sleeping together - and now he left me his number, told me I could delete it if I wanted and walked out with barely a goodbye.

"Fucking clever son of a bitch," I muttered. He had thrown the ball firmly into my court leaving me to decide whether or not to return it. I shook myself and dialled into the answer service to listen to the one message I had received.

"Paul, where are you? Still asleep? What the fuck were you doing yesterday anyway? Everyone's hanging out at Jake's tonight and getting pizzas, I know you're not working so hope to see you there, about seven. If you don't come at least call and tell us what the hell you're doing with Sam and Emily away, or we'll come around and find out."

"Fuck," I muttered as the message ended. That was the last thing I wanted, them all turning up and finding a white GTR in my yard. I would go and hang out with them. It would do me good to distance myself from this whole thing anyway I thought, although I didn't really relish the thought of more pizza.

I drove over to the supermarket a little later, stocked up the refrigerator and cupboards and then washed and polished the Skyline to pass the time until I went into Forks for my kick boxing session. It finished at six-thirty and I drove straight over to Jake's, my phone almost burning a hole in my pocket. I kept imagining myself calling Emmett or texting him and determinedly restrained myself. One text to tell him what I was doing wouldn't hurt, but then he'd probably bug me sending messages back and the others would ask questions. I made a series of stupid excuses to myself when really my greatest worry was the amount of excitement the thought of calling him was creating.

_"Paul!" _

I jumped as Embry bellowed in my ear.

"What?"

"Where the fuck are you? It's like you're on another planet. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." I could feel my face heating up and grimaced. Blushing now? Jesus.

"Did you meet someone?" Embry asked curiously.

Shit.

"You did, didn't you? Who's the new girl?"

"There isn't one," I grumbled. "I just stayed up late, that's all, I'm tired."

"Bullshit, Paul," Embry sniggered. "Your face is red. Who is she? Come on, why the big mystery?" To my utter horror, his hand dived into my pocket before I realised what he was doing and emerged with my phone clutched in it. "Let's see, what new numbers have you got, hmm?"

"Embry, give me the phone," I said, aware that the others were all eyeing us curiously now. Great; this was not how I anticipated things going and my blood began to boil in both anger and embarrassment as Embry started scrolling through my contacts.

"Give me the fucking phone!" I snarled, grabbing his arm roughly and snatching it from his hand.

"Alright! Christ, Paul, what the hell is wrong with you?" he exclaimed, rubbing his arm. "Obviously something's going on, but if you're not even going to tell your friends, fuck it."

"I'm sorry," I said at once, my heart pounding. "I'm being a jerk."

"No more than usual," Jake said, eyebrows raised. "Are you seeing someone?"

"No," I said firmly. I realised I had to tell them something, however. "I had a...a one night stand. Bitch put her number in my phone, just haven't had chance to delete it yet."

"Is that all?" said Jared. "Jeez, Paul, that was a bit over the top even for you. Who was she? Some chick you found in a bar?"

"Yeah." I cleared my throat and grabbed one of the beers from the table nearby. "So what's everyone been doing over the weekend?"

The rest of the evening passed without incident although I was aware of the others occasionally glancing at me with curiosity and I guessed I had made myself look a complete dick. It must be obvious to them that I was up to something and I wasn't even sure they believed my story about the one night stand.

It was past ten by the time I got home and I showered and watched TV for a while, placing my phone on the coffee table and finding I couldn't stop looking at it. There was no way I was going to call him. It was too soon. It would sound like I hadn't thought of anything else all day - which I hadn't. Plus I wouldn't have a clue what to say, I was lousy at talking on the phone. A text maybe?

I snatched the phone up and opened up a message, slowly walking into my room as I stared at the screen. What the fuck would I say? 'I miss you'?

"Don't be fucking ridiculous, what kind of sappy comment is that?" I muttered aloud. "A girl would say that." I shuddered and racked my brains for something to say.

'Wish you were here.' Almost as bad as 'I miss you'.

'Want to come over and fuck?' I grimaced again. It didn't really matter what I said, if I sent a fucking text at all it would sound desperate, like I couldn't wait one day to see him. He fucking did this on purpose, to screw with my head, leaving me his number and taking off to see how it affected me.

"Fuck you, Emmett!" I growled and tossed the phone onto the bed table. Let him wait.


	11. Chapter 11

**Th****ank you all for the awesome reviews on the last chapter! Hope you all like this one just as much :o)**

CHAPTER ELEVEN

**Emmett's POV**

I knew I was taking a risk by playing it this way, but I wanted to see what he would do if I walked away without asking to see him again. He knew I wanted him and he had my number. I said I hoped to see him soon and left it at that. It had only been a couple days, but I felt like he was letting me in just a little bit. I mean, Christ, he let me fuck him. I never expected that and it was fucking amazing. It wasn't something I made a habit of doing, having only been with two guys before, but I didn't really like the idea of going that far with someone who was just going to be a casual romp in the back of a car or a motel and then nothing. I wanted more than that out of it and now it seemed like I was on the brink of getting it. Paul had only been with Quil I realised and that was, what, five years ago? But now he wanted me and afterwards he slept in my arms, let me kiss him like he felt something. I hadn't really expected it to be that easy.

In addition he told me just a tiny bit more about himself - a violent father and then his mother died. Was she beaten to death? Did she get sick or have an accident? Was this why he was so vehemently against getting close to someone? His father beat him, his mother died and then Quil died. Perhaps he thought caring about someone would result in them leaving him. Perhaps I was full of shit and not even close. I wanted him to know he could trust me, but how did you tell him something like that? I should have said it in the shower when he told me about his parents, but you only think of the right thing to say when it's too late. I would have to just wait and see if he called. He had to call, right? He gave me part of himself I knew he hadn't meant to and damn if I hadn't aleady started falling for him.

I spent the entire drive to and from Portland thinking about it, going over and over everything we had done and said to each other. It was a very long day and I had no appetite for dinner that night. I forced down some of the meal so as not to arouse too much suspicion and made out like I overate junk food with 'Doug and Adam' the previous night. The minute I left the rest of the family to go to my room, Jasper was on my heels, eager to find out what happened.

"You look sort of miserable," he said.

"I'm not, I just don't know where I stand."

"You spent the night with him?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"I hope so. He's got issues, I'm not sure he wants to get involved."

"I wish you'd tell me who he is," Jasper sighed. "I keep trying to imagine a guy you'd be with and I just can't. Is he like, I don't know, gay?"

I snorted with laughter. "What the hell do you mean, Jasper, I'm gay!"

"I meant...effeminate or something, I don't know."

"Definitely not, he's all man," I said, picturing Paul straight out of the shower, russet skin glistening with droplets of water, muscles bulging everywhere.

"You're drooling," Jasper giggled. "Please tell me. You know you can trust me."

"Yeah, but you'll hate it."

"You mean I know him? And presumably don't like him. Oh, come on, now I'm even more curious! I won't say a word, I promise."

"You will."

"I tell you everything," he frowned. "Seriously, how bad can it be?"

"He's a...a Native," I said absently, pulling my phone out for the hundredth time to see if I somehow got a missed call or a text without it making a noise or vibrating. Nothing.

"Hell, Emmett, surely you don't think I'm racist," Jasper said. "Wait...he's from the Reservation?"

"Yeah."

"Not one of Jacob Black's guys? Fuck, is it Jacob? God, that would be so funny, Bella would spit feathers!"

"No, it's not Jacob. Just leave it, Jas, I shouldn't even have told you that much," I groaned.

"Embry, he's kind of sweet looking, if you like that sort of thing," Jasper mused, ignoring me. "Nah, you said all man and he's not gay anyway. Jared Cameron is dating some friend of Bella's, Paul Lahote was dating that other stupid little airhead that comes around here sometimes...Seth Clearwater? No, he's kind of soft too."

"Jas! Drop it!" I exclaimed.

"I don't know what the big deal is really, wouldn't it be easier to have someone to confide in? Especially if he's not calling and you're fretting about it. You could always call him."

"I don't have his number. I left him mine, I thought it would push him to make a move if he does actually want me," I blurted.

"Is it working?"

"I don't know, it's only been...twelve hours."

"Emmett, if I really like someone, I call them after one hour," Jasper said.

"That's probably why you're single," I said doubtfully. I glanced at my phone again, stupid as it was to do that. "It's Paul," I admitted. I knew I could trust Jasper, he had proved himself time and time again since I had become part of the family and especially since he learned I was gay. Now his comical expression with eyes wide and mouth literally hanging open had me laughing.

"He's not gay," he said after a moment. "And he hit you after the accident."

"Trust me, he's gay, he was just using Jessica. And I broke his nose, so we're even on that score."

"No way. I mean, I barely know anything about the guy, but it seems like he would be hard work. You slept with him?"

"Yeah. You can drop it now, ok?" My face was heating up, not least because I knew without a doubt that Paul would hate it if he knew I told anyone, however trustworthy they were.

"Wow," Jasper said. "You and Paul. See, I don't hate it, I'm just surprised. I always thought he was a jerk, but he can't be that bad if you fell for him."

"I haven't fallen for him!" I exclaimed.

"Em, you're as red as Mom's prize roses and you're looking at your phone every minute; I'd say you fell pretty good."

It was a while before I managed to get Jasper to change the subject. He just didn't want to drop it and I supposed I would have been just as curious if our positions had been reversed. He left me alone eventually and I went to bed although I doubted I would sleep. I kept replaying the previous night's events in my mind until I was rock hard and aching, imagining Paul's hands and mouth on me, his body under me, his voice, begging me to fuck him. I had to relieve myself, there was no way I could relax with the huge boner pulsing in my shorts. I threw the bed covers aside, wriggled out of the shorts and began to stroke myself, watching myself in the wall mirror until I came all over myself. I wondered if Paul was in bed, thinking about me and jacking off, or if he was out with his friends forgetting about me completely.

I grabbed a handful of tissues to clean myself up and dragged the sheet over me again. He wasn't going to call. I just knew it. I fucked up. He regretted letting me get that close and was running in the other direction. I wouldn't be surprised if he deleted my number already. It gave me a sick feeling in my stomach and I cursed myself for getting so attached so fast. Why couldn't I just have fun with guys and walk away? I had to go and let emotions get involved, for fuck's sake.

Somehow I slept, but I woke in the morning feeling like hell and knowing I had to make a trip to Tacoma for another delivery. Paul's father lived there, I thought, the son of a bitch. I knew it was pointless, but I still kept on checking my phone all day and it didn't ring or beep once. When I returned home in the afternoon I was quite relieved to find almost everyone out; everyone except Jasper and Alice.

"Mom and Dad are going out for dinner," Alice said. "Edward took Bella out too. Do you guys want me to cook something?"

"I'm not really hungry," I said at once and added, "I ate on the way back."

"I'll just have a sandwich later," Jasper said.

"Then I'll make myself a lonely dinner and have it in my room, with Brad Pitt for company," pouted Alice and headed for the kitchen.

I felt a bit guilty for leaving her to her own devices. Out of all of us, she was missing Rosalie the most, but the last thing I felt like doing that evening was being sociable. As it was Jasper insisted on following me to my room, sprawling on my bed and trying to entertain me with amusing gossip. I did my best to be interested and stop thinking about Paul. I couldn't get him out of my mind, but he clearly wasn't going to call. Almost thirty-six hours had passed now. My cellphone was on the bed table nearest Jasper and I hadn't even looked at it for over an hour. When it did eventually beep and vibrate around seven-thirty I assumed it would just be Edward or Mom, or maybe Alice being stupid. Jasper picked up the phone.

"Oh, a number with no name. Interesting," he smirked.

"What?" I leaned over to grab the phone and he stretched his hand out of reach.

"If it's him and you answer in ten seconds, you'll sound desperate, like you've been sat holding the phone all day waiting for him."

"Jas..." I frowned.

"You can have it in a couple minutes."

"Jerk."

"He made you wait two days and a night, he can wait for an answer."

I knew he was right; I didn't want to sound too eager, but at the same time my heart had started skipping unevenly and I couldn't wait to read the message, if it was indeed from Paul. When Jasper handed my phone over a minute later, I almost dropped it and laughed stupidly.

"You have got it bad," he snickered.

"Shut up." I opened the message.

'Do you want to come over tonight? I'm working, but finish 1am. Paul.'

I sank my teeth into my lip, but was still unable to suppress the stupid grin that stretched across my face. I had done the right thing after all by leaving him with my number; he did want to see me again.

'Sure, see you around 1.30. Emmett,' I replied and then quickly saved his number in my contacts.

"Well? What did he say?" Jasper said.

"He just asked me to go over later after he finishes work," I told him. My stomach was fluttering with nerves or excitement or some shit and I continued to smirk foolishly as I ushered Jasper off my bed and towards the door.

"What are you doing?" he protested.

"I'm going to take a shower."

"You have, like, six hours yet," he grumbled. "You'll be all sweaty again with excitement by then."

"Fuck off."

"Fine, I guess I'll go and hang with Alice and Brad Pitt then," he sighed and left me to it.

It was a long evening. I spent about thirty minutes of it stupidly wondering what to wear and then just settling for jeans and a shirt with no underwear. What the fuck did it matter what I wore? I doubted Paul would even notice and it wasn't likely to stay on me very long once I got through his door. I had an immediate erection at the thought and the thing continued to throb and twitch against my zipper for most of the night until I was tempted to jack myself off to relieve it. The state I was in by then would have me lasting about thirty seconds when Paul touched me, but I determinedly restrained myself.

Edward came home a little after ten and I heard him talking to Jasper on the landing before he went to his room. Then our parents returned at eleven, but the others were all presumably sleeping by then and there was no sound of voices. I occupied myself by idly surfing on my laptop, but I couldn't have said what I actually looked at.

I left the house at one-fifteen and drove over to Sam's house, parking the GTR in its now usual spot out of sight. The door was open a little I noticed and I let myself in and found Paul in the kitchen drinking coffee, his upper body and hair damp from the shower and nothing but a towel around him.

"Hey," I said, my mouth going dry.

"Hey, you want coffee?"

"No, thanks," I said, my eyes raking down his chest. The persistent boner I had driven over here with stiffened more and I had to fight off the urge to simply rip my clothes off and bend him over the kitchen counter. Instead I stepped around it towards him, standing as close as I could get without actually touching him. "I'm glad you asked me to come over."

"Yeah, I can see." He smirked and put the coffee mug down before reaching out to press his hand over the bulge in my jeans.

I dropped my eyes to his hand as he rubbed me slowly, biting my lip to suppress a groan. Shit, I wouldn't be in the least surprised if I came in my pants before he even did anything. I unzipped them quickly and my cock slid free into his hand, making me shiver. He stroked his thumb over the end and I moaned helplessly. I probably should have relieved some of the pressure after all, but it was his hand I wanted to feel on me, not my own. I began to unfasten my shirt quickly while Paul's fingers teased me lightly, his eyes down, watching as I twitched and throbbed in his palm. His hand tightened suddenly and he began to jack me off, the sudden and rapid friction causing me to erupt much faster than I hoped, spurting onto my stomach and in Paul's hand. He pulled the towel from around his waist and wiped us both clean.

"Fuck, you were keen," he grinned.

"Still am," I panted. I slid my arms around him, pulling him against me and squeezing his firm butt, feeling his hard length against my own. I tilted my head slightly and captured his lips with mine, our tongues meeting hotly and his hands sliding around to my back, fingers digging into my flesh. His legs shifted apart slightly and I brought one hand up to our mouths, wet my fingers with saliva and reached down, pressing one digit into him. He moaned into my mouth and pressed himself harder against me, his cock throbbing and his heart hammering in his chest. I probed deeper, then almost withdrew before sliding two fingers in together. His moan turned to a whimper and his teeth sank into my lower lip. I stopped touching him and opened my eyes, meeting his which were almost black, the pupils huge with his arousal. He stepped away from me and in silent agreement we headed for his room, me dropping my shirt on the floor on the way and kicking off my shoes. I shoved my jeans down as I stepped through his doorway and a moment later we were on his bed, his body under mine, his legs spread open and a condom in his hand. He ripped open the packet and I lifted myself up to give him room to put it on me. I grabbed the lube, coated myself in it and used more to prepare him. I intended to take my time, but he was thrusting himself against my hand, rubbing his cock and I couldn't wait. He looked up at me, his chest heaving as he breathed hard.

"That's enough," he said huskily.

I drew my fingers out and guided my cock in, going slow until his hands moved to my hips, gripping me and pulling me downwards and into him. He flinched a little and his muscles clenched around me, but then he relaxed again and we were moving against each other frantically, my forearms resting either side of his head, his hands on my back, legs around me as I thrust myself into him, pounding him into the mattress. Despite my earlier release in the kitchen, I didn't last any longer than Paul did; we came more or less together, the friction of his cock rubbing against my stomach making him spurt all over me as I filled the condom and slowly collapsed onto him. I withdrew reluctantly after a moment and we simply lay there panting, my arm slung across his chest. I felt so good - not just from the sex, but from being with him, feeling how much he wanted me even though it had taken him so long to actually ask me to come over. His hand was holding onto my arm where it rested on him and after a minute or two he turned slightly, tucking his face into my shoulder. He stayed like that for a few minutes before he pulled back and edged away from me, although he didn't dislodge my arm.

I reached out to grab a handful of tissues from the box on the bed table to clean us up again, smirking as Paul's half-softened cock twitched under my ministrations.

"Not had enough?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you kidding? I'm not the one who got off twice already."

"Give me ten minutes or so, I'll be ready to go again." I lay back down at his side. "Unless you want me to do something else."

"I'll wait," he said quietly, looking down his body as he stroked himself absently. "I like your cock in me."

My stomach did a weird little flip and I stared at his face, wishing he would look at me. I couldn't figure out what he was thinking or feeling, but he sure seemed glad I was with him. I leaned closer and brushed my lips against his cheek. The corner of his mouth twitched up and he reached out suddenly and grasped my hand, placing it on his erection before he turned onto his side facing away from me. I pressed myself against his back, my arm around him as I touched him and nibbled at his neck, teasing him until he began thrusting more firmly into my hand, his butt bumping against me in the process and bringing my cock back to life again.

We had sex that way, lying on our sides, him with his back to me. I couldn't get in so deep that way, but it was slower, more sensual and when we finished and I slid out of him, we stayed like that for a while before we dragged ourselves off of the bed and into the shower.

We hardly spoke to each other that night I realised when we lay together in the darkness later, drifting into sleep. It wasn't an awkward silence either; I didn't feel like I had to think of things to say and Paul didn't seem like he wanted to keep me at a distance. When I woke the next morning to the sound of my phone ringing insistently, he was still resting in my arms, his head on my shoulder.

"You going to answer that?" he said sleepily.

"It's too early," I groaned.

He propped himself up then and leaned over me to look at the clock on the bed table. "It's ten-thirty. Don't you have to work?"

"Fuck." I grabbed the phone and noticed Jasper's name flashing on the screen. Thank God it wasn't one of my parents. I answered reluctantly. "Jas?"

"Where the hell are you? Oh, wait, in bed with Paul?" he giggled and I immediately felt my face colouring up. "Mom is getting seriously pissed," he went on without waiting for me to comment. "You're supposed to be making a delivery to Port Angeles. She's thinking of sending me and not only do I not know the client, but you know my sense of direction sucks, I'd probably get there at midnight."

"Yeah, alright, I'm coming," I muttered, causing Paul to snort with sudden laughter.

"Was that him?" Jasper said in my ear. "You really are in bed? Shit, Emmett."

"Fuck off. I'm on my way now. In a minute." I hung up. "That was...um...my brother, Jasper," I told Paul.

"Yeah, I figured." His eyes narrowed. "Does he know where you are?"

"I trust him," I said. "He covered for me once already."

"Fuck, Emmett, what do you want to go telling people for?" Paul groaned.

"He won't tell anyone, not even Edward and Alice," I said. "Don't you have anyone at all to confide in?"

"No and if I did I wouldn't be telling them about this," he grouched, getting to his feet.

My heart plummeted and I slid off the bed and grabbed my jeans. I should have guessed he wouldn't want people finding out he was seeing me, or seeing any guy, but the way he said it hurt. I dressed quickly and went to use the bathroom before I left. I heard a loud bang quickly followed by another and grimaced; it sounded as if he was punching a cupboard or something. When I emerged from the bathroom I found him leaning against the wall outside the door, a pair of cargo pants hanging low on his hips and his hands in the pockets.

"Hey," he said and paused to lick his lips. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"Why say it then?"

"I guess I didn't expect you to be talking to your brother about me. It's not like we're in a...a relationship or anything."

"Not yet," I blurted.

"Well, it sounds like you want more than I do." Paul shoved himself away from the wall and headed into the kitchen, grabbing a t-shirt from the laundry basket on the counter.

"_You_ contacted _me_ remember?" I pointed out. "If you don't want to see me, why did you bother?"

"I don't know what I want! You're fucking with my head!" he snapped and then flushed uncomfortably. "What do you want out of this?"

"I want you," I said simply, remembering what I wished I had said in the shower two days ago. "You can trust me, Paul. Whatever happened to you that makes you avoid people - I'm not going to do that. I like being with you; I won't walk away unless you really want me to." I held my breath as I waited for him to say something back. He was edgy and his eyes darted around everywhere, avoiding landing on me. I thought it more than likely that he would tell me he did want me to walk away.

"I don't," he grunted. "I'm sorry. I like...what we're doing. I just don't think I'm any good at it. I think you will walk away and I wouldn't blame you one bit."

"Will you give it a chance?" I suggested. "What if I prove you wrong?"

"You have your work cut out."

He met my eyes at last and his looked sad. I walked towards him and rested my hands on his shoulders. "What are you doing today? Want to go on a trip with me?"

"Uh...I don't know. Where? I have a jujitsu class at four-thirty."

"Only PA, we'll be back before then. I have a delivery to make."

"Yeah, but don't you have to go home and get it?"

"I'll pick you up after. I'll be forty minutes maximum," I said eagerly. He hadn't exactly said yes, but it wasn't a no either. He could have just said no the minute I mentioned it.

"Look, don't come back on the Reservation, someone'll probably see you," he told me. "I'll come with you now and you can kick me out along the cliff road while you fetch your shit."

I grinned, probably stupidly, like a little kid who had just been given his favourite toy to play with.

"Don't look like that, Emmett, this isn't a fucking date," Paul growled, but his brown eyes sparkled just a little as he grabbed socks and boots and then scooted around the room picking up wallet, phone and keys. I just smirked as I waited for him. Finally we were going to spend some time together without it all being about sex.


	12. Chapter 12

**As always, thanks for reading and reviewing. I know you're all keen to know how the 'non-date' goes, so here it is :o)**

CHAPTER TWELVE

**Paul's POV**

I glanced uneasily out of the window of the GTR as we drove off the Reservation, but no one was in sight and I relaxed as we took off down the Forks road, the car leaping forward as Emmett stomped on the gas. We didn't talk for the few minutes it took to reach the end of the Cullens' long driveway and Emmett let me out before driving away between the trees.

I sauntered onwards along the shoulder, rounding the bend towards the cliff and wondering if I was making a mistake by agreeing to spend a few hours with him, but I couldn't seem to help myself. I had been determined to wipe his number off of my phone and forget it, but I ended up wanting him so damned much. For the hundredth time I wished Quil was still around. I had told Emmett I wouldn't have confided any of this to anyone, but I would have told Quil and I knew he would have understood. It wouldn't even have mattered to him that it was about one of the so-called enemy. What would he have said to me? I tried to imagine talking to him and I could almost hear his voice as I thought of how he might reply.

_'Get your head out of your ass, Paul; you like him and he apparently likes you, so what's the problem? Just because you've had a lot of shit go down in the past, doesn't mean this will go the same way. He said you can trust him, didn't he?'_

"Yeah, but where can it go?" I said aloud. "Both of us are in the closet and Sam and Emily are home on Saturday. Whatever happens this week, it ends in three days."

I continued strolling along the road towards Forks, hands shoved into my pockets, kicking at the dusty ground on the shoulder as I went. I was no better off really. Whatever Quil would have said, I would still torment myself over it and not know what to do.

My thoughts were interrupted by the roar of an engine and an obnoxiously loud honk and the GTR pulled up alongside me. I may as well make the most of the three days at least. I pulled the door open and slid in. Emmett had changed into smart grey pants and a white shirt, the suit jacket hanging behind his seat. The shirt was open a few inches at the neck, his lightly tanned skin visible, the cuffs fastened with gold cufflinks.

"Hot," I commented and then smirked at his surprised expression.

"You like a guy in a suit?"

"I like you in a suit." I was flirting I realised and chuckled to myself. My mood was lighter that it had been in a while, now I accepted I did actually like Emmett's company and I was determined to enjoy myself rather than look for a problem in everything. Plus I felt a touch guilty for the hurt look that had crossed his face for an instant earlier. He grinned and began telling me about the third degree he had just had from his mother about where he had been all night.

"My sister, Alice, said she thought I probably met a girl; Mom said she would have my Dad speak to me when he gets home about staying out all night with girls I only just met and that I should have more respect. Jasper said if the girl was happy having me with her all night she obviously didn't deserve anybody's respect."

"You know the girl excuse is only going to work until they want you to bring her home to meet Mommy and Daddy," I laughed.

"I'll just have to make her sound unappealing then, assuming I keep on needing an excuse."

The teasing light-hearted conversation continued throughout the journey to Port Angeles. Emmett was actually a pretty funny guy and several times he had me laughing - genuinely laughing like I hadn't done since before Quil died. My tension had left me before we even passed Forks and by the time we were parking up behind a department store in PA, I was completely relaxed and enjoying myself.

We got out of the car and Emmett straightened his shirt, fastened a couple more buttons and put his jacket on, then took the two large boxes from the trunk of the car and set off into the building. I wandered along the street a short distance, looking in the windows of a few stores, realising it was lunch time already and I was starving hungry. I hadn't eaten since the previous day before work and suddenly the tantalising smells of garlic, fried chicken and Asian cooking drifted from the assortment of eating establishments and reached my nostrils, making my mouth water. I was tempted to just grab something while Emmett was seeing his client, but figured he would be hungry too since we had rushed out of the house without breakfast. I strolled back to the car and leaned against it while I waited for him to return. Five minutes later he appeared, shrugging off the jacket and removing the cufflinks in order to roll up his sleeves.

"You want to get some food?" I suggested. "I didn't eat since yesterday."

"Me neither." He put the jacket back in the car and locked it. "What do you have in mind?"

"Anything, so long as it's not fried shit or pizza, I have to train later," I reminded him as we left the GTR and headed back down the street again.

"Pasta?" Emmett suggested.

"Yeah."

"I know the perfect place." I don't know what I expected, but he stopped suddenly and pushed open the door to what looked like a small and intimate Italian restaurant. Great. The supposed casual day hanging out was beginning to seem like a date after all. Strangely I had never eaten in a proper restaurant with someone I wanted to be with - I'd had a few meals out with some of the girls I had been seeing, but usually in diners or the like. Jessica had begged me to take her out to a decent place many times and I never would. Emmett had already disappeared through the door and I followed, deciding I was willing to give it a go anyway and wishing for a moment that I was wearing something better than a t-shirt.

We were shown to a corner table at the back of the restaurant, which was about half full at the time. I glanced around as I walked behind the waiter and noticed that no one bothered to give us a second look. We sat down at opposite sides of the table and the waiter handed out menus and offered drinks.

"What would you like? Beer?" Emmett suggested.

"What are you having?"

"Wine."

I had never even tasted wine; it never appealed before now. I had always preferred beer to anything else although I liked liquor if I was in a foul mood, which seemed to be a regular occurrence when you thought about it.

"I will too," I said. Might as well try it; it was probably the only chance I would get.

"Two glasses of Chianti, thanks," Emmett said.

"Who are you? Hannibal Lector?" I smirked as the waiter scurried away.

"What can I say? He had good taste in wine," grinned Emmett.

"Daddy teach you about wine, did he?" I taunted.

"Yeah, Sunday lunch with the family - traditional roast and a half glass of wine each until we reached twenty-one."

"And little does he know you're having wine on a lunch date with a guy," I blurted.

"I thought you said it wasn't a date."

"Figure of speech."

"Right." Emmett's smile only got wider. "You don't even look like you're hating it that much."

I didn't answer as the waiter returned with two glasses of red wine and a basket of assorted breads accompanied by a dish of olive oil and balsamic. I picked up my glass and took a gulp, grimacing.

"You're not supposed to pour it down your neck like it's water," Emmett teased, raising his own glass, swirling it and then sniffing. "Savour the bouquet first."

"It's not a fucking bunch of flowers," I laughed.

Emmett sniggered and then straightened his face. "Then taste, a sip, and roll it around your tongue." He proceeded to do this and I smothered a guffaw behind my hand.

"I can think of better things to roll your tongue around, Emmett."

He coughed and swallowed rapidly, his eyes shining. "No chance of making a connoisseur out of you, is there?"

"It depends in what." I raised an eyebrow and tried the wine again; it was certainly better sipped. "Mmm. Not bad actually." I grabbed the menu. "So what are we eating? Don't tell me you speak Italian too."

"Nope. I usually go for something like meatball spaghetti, it's the only one I can pronounce."

"You've been here before?"

"Only once to this particular place, for Jasper's twenty-first. The meatballs are good actually, they're veal."

"As long as it's red meat, that's good enough for me." I took another sip of the wine. I was actually really starting to enjoy myself, date or not. It made me wonder why I hadn't made more effort before, but I had conveniently forgotten by that point that it was only supposed to be a temporary thing.

The meatballs were great and by then I had decided I liked wine, although we refused a second glass and skipped dessert, finishing with coffee. The waiter delivered the check along with the espressos and I glanced at it with slight horror. Fifty bucks each for a plate of spaghetti and a drink? Damned if I was letting him pay for me. I pulled my wallet out and laid fifty-five dollars on top of the check, figuring we should leave a tip. Emmett opened his mouth, presumably to protest, but then looked at my face and shut it again. He nodded fractionally and counted out the same sum.

After we left the restaurant, rather than rush straight back to Forks we headed for a performance parts and tuning warehouse, the pair of us lusting over the items on display like a pair of kids in a toy store. I didn't really intend to spend any money in there, but I hadn't expected to have the opportunity to visit the store either. Usually I figured out what I wanted with the help of Jacob and he ordered the items from his wholesaler in Forks. Having everything right there in front of me was way too tempting and a tiny part of me couldn't resist showing off by spending a ridiculous amount of money in front of Emmett, even though I knew Jake would be able to save me some money. By the time we left thirty minutes later I had parted with the best part of three grand on an HKS turbo and intercooler and was feeling a touch guilty for practically cleaning out my bank account.

"Hell, Paul, I thought we were just looking," Emmett said in surprise as we left the store.

"How can you just look at all this shit and not buy anything?" I said. "This is the first time I could actually buy something on the spur of the moment without wondering how I'll make it to the next paycheck." Seeing all the equipment available had me excited about racing again and I realised the Skyline still hadn't had the chance to try the quarter mile. It would cost me a ton of money more than I already spent and give Jake a headache, but I wanted more power and maybe one day the chance to put Emmett's car in its place.

He opened the trunk of the GTR now for me to put the boxes inside and then surprised me by tossing me the keys.

"Are you serious?"

He shrugged. "Don't tell me you aren't itching to give her a try."

I was, although I would never have admitted it and I slid behind the wheel and adjusted the seat a touch before starting the engine. I drove out of PA, biting my lip to stop the stupid grin that threatened to split my face in two as I felt the power of the car pulling at me, urging me to tread harder on the gas. I let the needle touch a hundred briefly before slowing back to the speed limit. The last thing I wanted was to get pulled over - it would be just my luck to get sprung by Bella's Dad and then it would be all over Forks that I was driving one of the Cullens' cars.

"Want to take the scenic route?" Emmett suggested after about forty minutes, indicating a turning ahead which led off towards the west rather than back to Forks.

I slowed a touch more and glanced at the clock on the dash. There was still plenty of time to kill before I needed to be at my class and I took the turning quickly.

"Any idea where this goes to?" I asked him.

"No. Hopefully somewhere to park up," he smirked.

I grinned and turned my attention back to the road. It was one of those windy country roads that most likely led to the beach eventually. On a week day afternoon there was no traffic in sight and a dozen places to pull off the blacktop and park. I did just that after a couple miles and cut the engine.

"This what you had in mind, is it?" I released my seatbelt and leaned over him, stretching one hand down to find the lever to move his seat. "How far does this go back?" I pulled it upwards quickly and he shifted backwards a decent amount, leaving ample room in the footwell.

"What are you doing?" Emmett said, his eyes lighting up.

"Um...I don't know, exploring your car; much as I hate to admit it, I always wanted to get my hands on it," I joked.

"Well, right now I'd rather you get your hands on me." He grabbed my hand as I straightened up and pressed it between his legs so that I could feel his rapidly stiffening cock inside the smart pants.

"Don't be so damned impatient, I can't do much from here." I pulled my hand away and climbed awkwardly over the centre console, squeezing myself into the footwell at his feet. It looked like a decent amount of room, but it was pretty cramped for a big guy. However, there was room enough for me to crouch in there and give his cock the attention of my hands and mouth. He came fast, filling my mouth with his fluid and I sucked him dry, then uncoiled myself and leaned over him. He opened his eyes and look up into mine.

"Jesus, Paul," he groaned, sliding one hand under my t-shirt and running it over my abs, then unfastening my pants. His other hand lifted to my neck and pulled me down towards him until our lips met and I moaned into his mouth, the sound muffled by his tongue as he began stroking my erection. I broke the kiss, gasping for breath and Emmett grinned up at me.

"Don't you ever wear underwear?"

"Not if I can help it."

"Get out of the car."

"What?" I frowned in frustration as he stopped touching me.

"Get out, there isn't enough room in here." He pushed the door open and I slid out and leaned against the vehicle. In a second Emmett was on his knees on the grass, pulling my pants down and taking my cock in his mouth, his hands busying themselves with my balls and my ass.

"Fuck," I hissed, glancing around me, the thought of getting caught only heightening my excitement. Charlie Swan would sure get a shock if he came by now I thought, the chuckle in my throat giving way to a deep groan. Damn, Emmett was good with his mouth. I didn't last much longer than he had and within minutes we were back in the car, Emmett in the driving seat this time and me laughing at the grass stains on his knees.

"How the hell are you going to explain that?" I sniggered as he started the engine and reversed out onto the road.

"I won't have to, they go to the dry cleaners."

"Are you serious? My stuff all goes in the washing machine," I grinned, resting my hand on his thigh and feeling the fabric. "Then again, I don't wear thousand dollar suits. Only time I can actually remember wearing a suit is Quil's funeral and..." I stopped.

"And?" Emmett prompted.

"And nothing. I just have a cheap black suit I don't wear for anything else," I said quickly. Shit. I almost started telling him about all the other stuff; I just felt so fucking close to him right then and the confusion I had been feeling for the past few days only increased as I realised our 'date' had probably been one of the best days I'd had in...a very long time.

"Ok." He didn't push me for anything else, but he stretched his right hand out and grasped mine in it. I didn't pull away. He drove one-handed until we approached Forks and I asked him to drop me off in the town. Somehow the rest of the afternoon had gone by pretty quick and it was almost four. Emmett turned off the highway and headed for the town centre.

"You have work later, right?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"You want me to come back and give you a ride home?"

"Won't your family complain about you sneaking off in the middle of the night again?" I grinned.

"Probably, but I'm too old to be grounded."

"I'll be out here a few minutes after one," I told him, realising I was in effect arranging another date.

A few minutes later he was driving away and I headed for the gym and my class. Afterwards I went to shower at Gary's place and hang out with him until it was time to go to work. Throughout the rest of the evening I couldn't get my mind off of Emmett and it was excitement I felt each time I checked the time and realised it was another thirty minutes closer to him coming to get me. By the time the club emptied and we locked up and went to change, my heart was hammering and my stomach fluttering. I told myself firmly it was all about sex - he made me horny, he made me feel amazing and I couldn't wait for him to fuck me - but try as I might I knew it wasn't all about that. I liked being with the guy and every so often I found myself figuring out ways we could still see each other after Sam and Emily came home.

The GTR was waiting in the lot down the street and I did my best not to grin like a fool as I went to it and climbed in. Emmett was wearing tight jeans and a wife-beater and looked even hotter than he had in the suit. I leaned over to kiss him without even pausing to think about it and he returned it warmly.

"Wow, did you miss me?" he grinned when I pulled back.

"I guess I'm just in a good mood." I shrugged a touch sheepishly.

"Hell, I better make the most of it then."

He drove us back to the Reservation and I grabbed the car parts from the trunk before we went into the house. It was about five minutes before we fell into my bed and another five before I was looking up at him, my legs wrapped around him as he drove me rapidly towards yet another orgasm.

Emmett left early in the morning. I was just waking when I heard him in the shower and by the time I hauled myself out of bed he was dressed and drinking coffee.

"What the hell time is it?" I grunted, yawning and helping myself to his coffee.

"Eight."

"Fuck."

"I have to go visit a new client with Mom today," he said. "I'll come back tonight, one-thirty again?"

"Yeah. Oh, wait - it's my day off," I remembered. "Come by any time you want."

"Great." He snatched the coffee back, took another gulp and gave me a quick kiss before heading for the door. Still sleepy and bemused, I headed back to bed.

It was ten-thirty when I opened my eyes again and someone was knocking on the door. I got up and dragged on the cargo pants I had rapidly discarded the night before, scrubbed my hands over my face and went to see who dared to wake me up. I pulled the door open, ready to bark at them and found Leah standing outside.

"Leah?" She was the last person I expected to see at that moment; we didn't talk that much, although our similar personalities meant that we got on well enough.

"Hey. Can I come in?"

"Sure. You want coffee? I was just about to make some," I offered, leading her into the kitchen.

"Oh, no, thanks. I wanted to talk to you." I looked at her and the smirk on her face made me anxious for some reason.

"What about?" I asked warily.

"I'm on vacation from work this week," she began.

"You came over here just to tell me that?"

"It gets more exciting, I promise. See, a friend of mine invited me out last night and we went into Forks, hung out in a few bars and went to get some of that shitty midnight feast type food in the store at the end of the High Street."

Fuck. My guts knotted up. She knew something.

"I was sat in the window stuffing my face with fried chicken and this white GTR rolled up and parked across the street. Lurked there for a little while and then...you turned up and got in it. Who do you know that's got a white GTR, Paul?"

"Um..." Shit. I had no idea what to say to explain that and worse, I could feel my face turning red.

"I got a cab home about an hour later and had the guy drive me by here and I'm sure I saw that very same car down the side of the house. I suppose it could have been the amount of vodka I drank, making me see things. Or alternatively you could be having an affair with Emmett Cullen."

I flushed more vividly and growled something unintelligible. I couldn't think of a single word to say to her. I was a jerk, letting him keep coming over here with that damned car shouting out to the whole world what I was up to.

"Don't look like that, it's no big deal," Leah went on. "So you're gay - that explains a lot."

"I didn't say I was gay," I blustered.

"Well, are you?"

"Um..." I turned away from her with a sigh. "Yeah." She was going to tell all the others, I just knew it. She wasn't a gossip, but this piece of news was probably too much to resist. Some of them might be ok with it, but some would no doubt hate it and they would certainly all hate the fact that I got it on with Emmett.

"Nobody is going to give a shit, Paul," Leah said. "I won't tell the guys, but you should."

I turned back again in surprise. "I thought you'd be dying to tell everyone." She shook her head. "It doesn't bother you?" I added.

"Well, your taste kind of bothers me - I mean, Emmett Cullen?" She wrinkled her nose. "Whatever floats your boat, I guess. I have to say though, the pair of you, all that muscle, could look pretty hot."

"Leah!" My face burned.

She laughed raucously in her usual unladylike manner. "Will you chill? What are you so worried about? Did you really think any of us would care? Did Quil know you're gay?"

"Yes, he knew."

"Figures. You two were as thick as thieves."

"I suppose I didn't want anyone to know because of how I knew my Dad would react. He was always ranting about fags when anything was on TV about it."

"Well, he's not here any more, Paul, and what he thought didn't matter once you moved in with Sam and Emily. The other guys wouldn't give a shit. I certainly don't. I slept with a woman once, believe it or not."

My mouth dropped open.

"Yeah, really. Not my cup of tea, but I'll try anything once," she shrugged.

"Who was she?" I said in surprise.

"You wouldn't know her, some girl I met on a dating website. So, are you going to tell the guys? I mean, you can't very well have Emmett stay over when Sam and Emily get back if you don't tell them."

"Fuck that, he's not staying with them here. It's nothing anyway, we're just fooling around while we have the opportunity."

"Does he know that?" Leah asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, of course he does."

"Ok. You should still tell the others, or you'll keep on having to date the likes of Jessica every so often." She grinned and walked out of the kitchen. "Whatever you decide, if you want someone to talk to, just holler."

"Sure. Thanks, Leah," I called after her.

A moment later the door closed behind her and I leaned against the kitchen counter, somewhat amazed. She didn't care. Not even about Emmett. Was she right? Would the others be just as cool about it as she was? Could I really stop living a lie after all this time? It was something I was going to have to think hard about, but in the meantime at least I had one confidante and strangely having Leah on my side made me feel a whole lot better about everything.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you all for the great reviews, as always, they are much appreciated.**

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

**Emmett's POV**

I almost had to pinch myself when I left Paul that morning. Not a fucking date, huh? The day had been the closest to a date I'd ever had. Lunch in a restaurant, wine, holding hands in the car. That was something I'd never done before. The best part of it was that Paul had seemed so relaxed the whole time, even teasing me and laughing like he didn't have a care in the world. I didn't want to drag myself away from him now. He had the day free except for going to his usual class and I wanted to spend every minute of it with him, but I had to go to Tacoma with Mom to meet with some jeweller that wanted to stock her earrings or some shit. It was the last thing I felt like doing and I just knew she was doing to grill me the whole way there about where I'd been all night again.

The trouble was, I had never been in this position. Usually I'd gone to a bar, got it on with some guy and come home the same night. There were only so many excuses you could come up with when you repeatedly stayed out all night and despite Jasper's attempts to make the others drop it, my parents at least were demanding to know about the 'girl' I was seeing. Even Edward had stepped in and asked them to leave me alone until I felt like talking about it, but the response was that if he could bring a nice girl like Bella home then I should be able to bring mine home too. Pointing out that it had only been a few days didn't satisfy Mom one bit.

However, I was relieved to find that Mom had the meeting on her mind and after a brief and disapproving comment about me being out all night again, all she could talk about on the journey was her pitch and the fact that she was nervous because this jeweller had branches all over the States and if their customers liked her designs, they could potentially give her a large contract. She already employed three girls to actually make the jewellery and was thinking of increasing the staff.

She really had nothing to worry about. I knew nothing about jewellery and didn't wear it, but her stuff looked good, like you would find in any decent store. The meeting went great as I knew it would, the store took the sample products she offered and promised to speak to her in a couple weeks about how sales were going. We ate lunch in a Thai restaurant and then returned home. It was only on the way back that she started asking me questions.

"Come on, now, Emmett, tell me about this girl. Your father and I are pleased you found someone, of course we are, but really I'm not too happy about how fast things are moving."

"Mom," I groaned. "I don't even know if it's going anywhere, can't you just leave it? If it turns into anything you'll be the first to know, I promise."

"If you're staying out almost every night at her place, it sounds like it's already gone a long way in a very short space of time. I hope you're being safe."

I flushed uncomfortably. "Please, don't give me 'the talk', I'm twenty-two, not fifteen."

"Yes, I'm well aware of that, Emmett, but these girls who dive into bed at the first opportunity probably don't give it a great deal of thought; the last thing I want is to find out I'm about to be a grandmother when I don't even know the girl's name."

"Trust me, that is _not_ going to happen," I said firmly. "Please, Mom, leave it alone. I haven't even been in a relationship before and I don't know yet if this is one."

She sighed heavily. "You know you can talk to me or Dad any time you want."

"Yeah, I know that, thanks," I grunted. "I will, eventually."

Like that would go down like a lead balloon. I could imagine it now. 'Mom, Dad, I'm in love with a guy. Want me to bring him home for dinner?'

Wait. What the fuck? _In love_ with him? I clutched the steering wheel fiercely as the car drifted towards the shoulder and clenched my teeth, feeling my jaw twitch. Shit. I loved Paul. How the hell did that happen in less than a week? How the hell did I know if it was love when I'd never felt it before? My heart pounded, my stomach knotted up and my palms grew damp; I chewed my lip in an effort not to beam from ear to ear as I thought of him and for once the last thing on my mind was sex. I just wanted to see him and wrap my arms around him; desperately.

"Emmett, are you alright?" Mom's voice penetrated my thoughts and I pulled myself together.

"Uh...yeah, just distracted for a second."

Mercifully she didn't ask me anything else and talked instead about her potential new contract. As soon as we reached home I escaped to Jasper's room and hung out with him for a while. I didn't even think I really mentioned Paul much until Jasper commented on it.

"You know how many times you said 'Paul' in the last hour? Nineteen; I counted."

"Fuck off, Jasper," I muttered, feeling my face heating up and wishing I didn't have to blush like a girl. Jasper giggled.

"Are you seeing him again tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Silly question, you're all lit up like a beacon. Must be love."

I flushed even more. "I don't know if it's that. Have you ever been in love, Jasper?"

"You know I haven't. Ask Edward about it, he's always saying he loves Bella."

"No way. The more I say the more questions they're all going to ask. Mom wouldn't let up on the trip back."

"Em, you should just tell them, about everything. Edward and Alice really won't care. I know Dad won't be so keen, but I think Mom only agrees with him because she supports just about everything he does and says. She's not going to hate you because you love a guy."

"I don't want them to be disappointed in me," I sighed.

"They'll get over it."

The conversation was interrupted by my cellphone ringing and Jasper grabbed it from the top of his chest of drawers and handed it to me. "It's Paul," he said needlessly and smirked. "He obviously can't wait either."

"Hey," I answered, waving Jasper towards the door. He stayed where he was.

"This is my room!" he hissed.

"Emmett," Paul's voice said. "Um...listen, about tonight..."

Fuck. He was going to cancel? My heart sank.

"What about it?" I prompted.

"I don't think it's a good idea for your car to be sat around here any more. Leah saw us in Forks and then saw the GTR here too."

"Shit!" I exclaimed. "Did she give you a hard time?"

"No, not at all, she was cool. I'll tell you later. But I don't want to tempt fate, I'll come pick you up, ok?"

"Oh, sure!" I sighed with relief and glanced at Jasper's clock. It was six-thirty and I guessed he must have just finished training. "What time?"

"Well, I'm leaving Forks now, if it's not too short notice."

"I could use a shower," I said.

"Me too," Paul said and sniggered.

"I'll be down the end of the drive in five minutes," I told him.

"Yeah. See you." He hung up and I found I was delighted. One of his friends found out and he _still_ wanted to see me. That had to be good, didn't it? I hurried downstairs to let Mom know I would be out so not to bother making dinner for me, then grabbed a leather jacket, noticing it was raining outside.

"Another date?" she asked.

"Mom, leave him alone, he'll talk when he's ready," Alice piped up. "You know how secretive he is. What's for dinner?"

"Stir fry."

"Awesome, my favourite. Have you got those sweet red peppers? I love those. And ginger, lots of..." Alice babbled on, winking at me as Mom apparently forgot I was heading for the door.

I made my exit quickly and jogged down the long drive, rain quickly soaking my hair and dripping down my neck. The thought of a hot shower with Paul spurred me on to reach the main road quickly and once there I stood with my back against a tree trunk, taking as much shelter as I could from the branches above until less than a minute later headlights appeared out of the downpour and Paul's Skyline pulled over. I dived in quickly and slammed the door.

"Sorry, I'll make your seat wet."

"It'll dry." He grinned at me and then steered the car back onto the road. "You know this is going to be the last time we can do this."

"What?" I gasped. My heart plummeted and I stared at the side of his face in dismay. He didn't even look faintly disappointed.

"Sam and Emily get back real early on Saturday, when I finish work Friday night I'll have to drive straight up to the airport to get them."

"Well, then, we'll have to find somewhere else to go," I said.

"Yeah," he agreed easily.

My sigh of relief would have been audible if it wasn't for the roar of the engine battling with the rain pounding on the roof.

"So you said Leah found out?" I reminded him.

He grimaced slightly. "Yeah, she was in Forks the other night, saw me get in your car and then had her cab drive past the house."

"She doesn't hate that you're seeing me?" I asked.

"No. She'll keep her mouth shut too. I guess I forgot about how loyal she can be. I used to tell Quil pretty much everything and after he died...well, it felt like there was no one else."

"She sounds cool," I agreed. "Like Jasper."

"He's the one with the M3, right?" Paul said. His brows drew together in a frown and he visibly tensed up.

"Yeah, why?"

"Shit," he muttered. "I feel like a real asshole about this. The whole thing was infantile, but it's worse to not say anything, especially since you and I..." He cleared his throat and I raised an eyebrow. He was nervous? I just didn't catch on to what he was referring to until he continued.

"It was me who scratched his car," he blurted, taking one hand off of the wheel to drag his fingers through his hair. "What can I say? Everything I did that day was fucking stupid. I saw he was upset about it and I felt guilty as fuck, not that that makes it any better. I don't even know why I did it. Yes, I do. Childish jealousy."

For a couple minutes I was speechless. Jasper had only had his car five minutes and it had been his first trip to a show in it. Coming back to it and finding the deep gouge in the paintwork from nose to tail had upset him horribly. He tried to just shrug it off, but then burst into tears and went to the tent he was to share with me, telling the rest of us to leave him be for a while. He didn't emerge for over an hour and spent the rest of the time leading up to my crash looking miserable.

Paul slowed the car to a crawl and glanced over at me. "Should I turn around?"

I ignored the question. "That was a shitty thing to do, Paul, Jasper was heartbroken."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"But at least you had the guts to own up. Not many people would have done that," I conceded. I wasn't mad at him I realised, only a touch shocked that he had it in him to do such a thing, but like I had said to him, telling me about it now, considering what had been happening between us, did make me admire him.

"Yeah, well I should have done it sooner. Like the same day," he grunted. "You want me to tell him?"

"He'd appreciate it," I nodded.

"I'll pay for whatever it cost too, obviously."

"There's no need, Dad has a friend in a bodyshop who fixed it as a favour," I told him.

The Skyline sped up again and continued onto the Reservation. Paul parked up at Sam's house and we ran through the rain to the front door. Once inside he poured out generous measures from the bottle of Jack I had brought over earlier in the week and I called Jasper and told him Paul wanted to speak to him.

"What about?" he said in surprise. "Does he want my approval to drag you into bed?"

"Jas, be serious," I sighed. "I'm handing you over now."

Paul apologised, more than once. I couldn't hear Jasper's side of the conversation of course, but knowing him he would have probably gone silent for a moment and then said something like 'it's ok, I appreciate your honesty'. He was like that and would forgive anybody anything if they had the decency to say sorry. Paul passed the phone back to me and gulped his drink.

"Jas?"

"Yeah. Wow. Um..."

Jasper was never speechless.

"What did you say?" I prompted.

"What do you think I said? I said I thought he had guts to own up and I forgave him, but he better not screw with you or I'd kick his ass."

"Jasper!" I could feel my face turning red.

"Jo-king! Em, you have no sense of humour. Look, he was a jerk to do it, but at least he came clean and said sorry, I have to respect that. Now get off the fucking phone and go wash his back or something."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow." I hung up, redder than ever.

"What did he say? Nothing to do with what I said, by the look of you."

"You don't want to know." I drained my own glass in two large gulps and put it down. "Don't we both need a shower?"

We made the most of the last night we had the house to ourselves. The shower rapidly led to us fooling around, hands and mouths eager to give quick release. Paul revealed then that he did actually own underwear, by taking two pairs of shorts out of a cupboard for us to wear while we headed for the kitchen to find sustenance. Much to my surprise and enjoyment, we made dinner together; Paul frying steaks, onions and mushrooms while I chopped salad and dug a dessert out of the refrigerator. I couldn't help imagining us somewhere else - in an apartment or a house that we shared - doing exactly the same thing.

After the meal we sprawled on the sofa together, sipping more whiskey and idly stroking each other, some unknown action movie on the television providing background noise. Throughout the evening, the most prominent thought in my head was what I had realised earlier when I drove home with Mom - that I was in love with him. There was no way I would have said so right then; it had barely been a week and I just didn't think he felt the same, although he certainly seemed to have become close to me in the past couple days. So I kept it to myself, but simply enjoyed everything we did together even more than usual. When I finally fell asleep in his bed sometime later, my body moulded to his back and my face in his neck, I was in a state of bliss.

I didn't actually leave him until the early afternoon of Friday. I didn't have any deliveries and Paul had the morning free although he planned to use the afternoon to tidy up the house and fetch some groceries before going to his class and then work. It would be Saturday lunchtime by the time he returned from Sea-Tac with Sam and Emily and he planned to catch up on some sleep in the evening. He promised to call me however, 'in a few days' when things settled down and figure out what we were going to do about seeing each other.

Paul dropped me off at the end of our drive and then drove on into Forks to get the groceries. I walked slowly up to the house with mixed feelings. The last day had been pretty amazing and I kept going over and over what we had done in my head. It had seemed like things really moved forward between us and I was over the moon about it, but I missed him already and hated the fact that Sam and Emily's return was going to interrupt things for as yet an unknown period.

I reached the house to find drama in progress, which immediately took my mind off my own situation. I could hear Alice's voice shrieking from around the bend in the drive.

"You evil bitch! What did you do? I knew something like this would happen! Jumping from one guy to another like the tramp you are! And now you want to see him? Well, he doesn't want to see you! Go to hell!"

What the fuck? I sprinted the last few yards and arrived to find Bella standing at the foot of the steps leading up to the door and Alice at the top, hands on hips and a look of rage on her face.

"I said I'm sorry!" Bella exclaimed. "It was a momentary indiscretion after too much wine! I didn't even really do anything!"

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded and Alice's flashing eyes switched to me quickly.

"She cheated on Edward!"

_"What? _Where is he? Where's Mom?"

"He's in his room, Jasper's trying to talk to him. Mom's in town."

I ran up the steps. "You ok here?"

"I'm fine!" Alice growled. Small as she was, she was a lionness when riled.

I went indoors and headed up the stairs to find Jasper outside Edward's door.

"Come on, Edward, let me in," he was pleading.

"Jas, what happened?"

He turned towards me. "Bella stood him up last night. He went over to her place this morning and she was kissing some guy goodbye at the door. She's saying nothing happened, but that's just bullshit. Edward came home in tears and locked himself in his room. He's been quiet for hours, he won't talk."

"He probably wants some space," I said. I wanted to run back to the door and kick Bella into the middle of next week. She had already done this to Jacob Black, hadn't she? I didn't know the details, but I was pretty sure she got with Edward before she broke up with him.

"I'm worried about him," Jasper said quietly.

"Go downstairs," I said. "I'll see what I can do."

"Ok." He left me to it and I knocked lightly on the door.

"Edward, open up, it's Emmett."

Silence.

"Ed!" I tried the door handle even though Jasper said it was locked. "You know I can break this door down in a second. If I have to do that I hope you're going to tell Mom and Dad I had good reason."

A few more seconds of silence, but then I heard the key turn in the lock. The door stayed closed, so I opened it myself. Edward was sitting on the edge of the bed, arms wrapped around himself and face tear-stained.

"Shit," I muttered.

"Sorry," he said. "I don't feel like talking."

"Don't then, I'll just keep you company." I closed the door again and sat beside him. He stayed silent for a couple minutes, but then began to talk after all.

"Has she gone?"

"Alice stopped yelling, so I guess she must have."

"She warned me, you know, and I didn't listen," Edward said hoarsely. "Alice, I mean. Some friend of hers mentioned Bella is never satisfied with just one guy. I didn't believe she would do that to me, I thought I was 'the one', you know? She said she loved me."

"I'm sorry, Edward," I said, trying to imagine how I would feel if Paul cheated. Sick, crushed, lost...

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?" I asked him.

"You." He scrubbed his hands over his face and sniffed hard. "What's the big secret, Emmett? Are you just going to keep on sneaking around keeping your girl a secret?"

"Jasper knows," I admitted. "I made him promise not to say anything." I still wasn't sure what Edward would think, but even if his reaction was bad at least it would give him something else to be shocked about and take part of his mind off of Bella.

"Don't you trust us? Me and Alice?"

"Of course I do, I just didn't think you'd like it. I didn't _know_ if you'd like it, more accurately. I guess I'm being a dick."

"Yeah, you are," Edward nodded. "I'm your brother, you think I wouldn't support you?"

"I'm gay," I said.

"Ohhhhh..." Edward's eyes widened and his mouth seemed to get stuck in the 'Oh' shape.

"Hell, Edward, say something."

"Jasper knew? How'd he find out?" he asked.

"He found something in my room."

"Well...um...shit...that explains a few things. Hey, you don't think I care, do you? Alice won't either, one of her friends is gay."

"Yeah, Jasper said that," I remembered.

"You really are a dick, Em," Edward said with a wan smile. "How many years have you been keeping this a secret, huh? Since you first came to us? We'd all have been on your side."

"Thanks," I grinned. Hell, I was supposed to be comforting him and he was making me feel better.

"So who is he?" he added.

"Who?"

"Your guy?"

"Paul Lahote."

"Holy shit!" exclaimed Edward, his eyes popping. "How did that happen? I thought you hated each other!"

I explained briefly and his astounded expression didn't subside until I finished talking, following which he began asking me a series of questions, about whether I had relationships before, how did I meet guys and so on. At least it took his mind off Bella until Jasper and Alice came in shortly after and reminded him by saying she had gone home. He sighed heavily and let the pair of them coo over him and curse Bella for a few minutes before he suggested digging icecream out of the freezer while I filled in Alice about what I had been upto. I had really had enough talking about myself, but went along with it and told the story all over again. I don't know why I worried about Alice really. She clapped her hands and squeaked 'cool' several times although she wrinkled her nose at the mention of Paul's name and asked me why I couldn't have gone for Jacob, since he was hotter and it would have gotten up Bella's nose.

The main thing was that Edward cheered up at least a small amount and vowed to try and do things to keep his mind off of being ditched, rather than wallow in self-pity over someone who really didn't deserve it. He was hurt and humiliated, but determined to get over it as soon as possible.

What I had expected to be a very long day actually flew by, but it was the weekend which dragged. I didn't expect to hear from Paul on Saturday, but I thought maybe I would have had at least a text on Sunday. I heard nothing and on Monday afternoon when I returned from a delivery trip, I sent him a message asking how things were going now Sam and Emily were back. I added that I missed him and clicked 'send' before I could change my mind. I got an answer ten minutes later.

'Sorry not been in touch. Been busy. Call you tonight.'

It sounded a bit cool and I waited for his call later with some trepidation, but when my phone rang just before eleven, it was Paul telling me in a husky voice that he wished it was my hand on his cock rather than his own. I locked my door quickly, stripped off and lay down for some phone sex, something else I hadn't done before which proved to be great fun and better than nothing.

It was the next weekend before I actually saw him. Apparently Emily had returned with ideas of revamping the house and had roped Paul into painting two of the rooms, leaving him little spare time. Saturday was his day off and he picked me up in the morning and drove us to Port Angeles, where we could do whatever the hell we liked without running into anyone. We had lunch and then went into the bar I used to frequent, taking up residence in a corner and making our way through several beers. We held hands and talked and it was clear that his idea of us being a temporary thing until Sam and Emily came home had gone out of the window. He wanted to be with me and I knew without a shadow of a doubt by then that I was in love with him.

When we left the bar we checked into a motel, ordered in takeout food for dinner and then fell into bed, eager to make up for a week without being able to get our hands on each other. Once wasn't enough and as soon as we recovered, I grabbed a second condom and we took our time over it, holding onto each other and kissing breathlessly as we came again together. I couldn't keep my thoughts to myself any longer as I slid off of him and turned him towards me, staring into his brown eyes.

"I missed you the last week," I murmured. "I love you, Paul."

Now the warm brown eyes seemed to cloud and his body stiffened. If I didn't know better I would have said it was a look of fear that had come into his eyes, but it couldn't be. Obviously he just didn't feel the same and I drew away from him and sat up, waiting for him to speak.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing as always. I know you're all dying to know what Paul thinks about Emmett saying the 'L' word, so here are his thoughts.**

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

**Paul's POV**

I guess I should have seen it coming. Even before Sam and Emily came home, the way he looked at me, the way he kissed me, everything was getting more intense. I was pulled into it because it felt so damned good being with him. Part of me felt like I was going soft, letting him hold my hand, cuddle me and all that shit. It was something I had never experienced before and I started missing it when he wasn't with me. When he left Friday I wanted to grab onto him and not let go and I mentally kicked myself for feeling like that. I was getting way too fond of him and when I considered the option of him driving off and never coming to see me again, I hated it. That wasn't good either. Every time my phone rang or beeped I grabbed it, expecting it to be Emmett - hoping it was Emmett - and then cursing myself for being the kind of jerk that gets so reliant on another person.

Sam and Emily loved each other, I had no doubt about that. You could see it in the way they looked at each other, spoke to each other, casually touched each other every time they were within arm's length. They had been together since we were kids and I wouldn't have been surprised if they were together when they were old and grey, still just as much in love as they were now. But that wasn't me. Coming from where I had, I doubted it was in me to be like that and I certainly didn't want to give it a try. My parents were the best example of why I should avoid letting my feelings get away from me and as time went on I found myself more and more torn between wanting to see Emmett and wanting to walk away from him before it was too late for me.

I hadn't meant to contact him for a few days, but when I got his text on Monday saying he missed me, my heart jumped and I had to type my reply a dozen times until I decided it was ok to send it. It had almost been instinct to say 'I miss you too' and in my efforts not to actually say that, my reply was colder than I intended it to be. It hadn't mattered. Later we spent over an hour on the phone, talking dirty and jacking ourselves off and I fell asleep imagining he was there with his arms wrapped around me, his body pressed against my back.

Somehow I thought I could keep it going the way it had been - kind of like friends with benefits. I told myself I couldn't wait to feel his hands on me, his cock inside me and when I arranged to see him Saturday that was what was foremost in my mind. It simmered between us all day as we ate in another restaurant and then hung out in Emmett's old haunt and by the time we got into the motel room, both of us were desperate. It was his last few words that changed everything. I had been kidding myself that the way he looked at me when he was fucking me didn't mean anything; he was just lost in the moment the same way I was.

'I love you, Paul.'

My first thought was 'oh fuck' while my heart near leaped out of my chest at the same time. That feeling scared me more than his words did and I guess my face gave me away because he pulled back and sat up, looking like he wished he hadn't said it. I had no idea what to say, but I knew I had to say something. If only I could get my thoughts in order.

"Emmett..." I cleared my throat and sat up.

"I don't expect you to say it back," he said before I had the chance to continue. "But I wanted you to know how I feel."

"It's too soon," I sighed. "It's...I thought this was still a casual thing, you know?"

"Well, it's not to me. I want more than that." He turned to look at me. "Most of the time it seems like you do too."

"Yeah, well I like this; I like being with you, but this whole thing is new to me and looking past even tomorrow freaks me the hell out," I blurted honestly.

"It's new to me too, but it doesn't mean I wasn't always looking for it. So what now? You want to walk away and go back to fooling around with strangers in restrooms? Because I sure don't," Emmett grumbled.

"I didn't say that. I'm not running, am I?" I wanted to by that point, however. I was finding the whole conversation awkward as hell and wanted to shove it all under the carpet and go back to being fuck buddies or whatever it was we were. But now those three words were between us and it was impossible.

"Well, what do you want then?"

"I don't know, I just want things to stay like they are." I got up and went into the bathroom, for once closing the door after me. Just my luck that the window was open and the draft made it slam. "Fuck," I muttered aloud. "Now he's going to think I slammed the fucking door on purpose."

When I returned to the room a few minutes later, Emmett was half dressed and fastening his pants.

"What are you doing?" I sighed.

"I'm getting out of your way."

"Don't be like that. Where are you going to go, huh?" I walked over to him and grasped his hands, pulling them off of his zipper and sliding it down again. "I'm sorry, ok? I'm a jerk. I'm just not ready for this."

"What, a relationship? Because it seems to me like we're in one."

"No the...love thing." I pushed his pants down past his hips and to my surprise he shoved my hands off.

"You can't fix everything with sex, Paul," he frowned.

"No?" At least this was something I was comfortable with. Despite his reluctance he was about half hard and I reached out again and touched him. His cock twitched and pushed itself against my palm. I rubbed my thumb over the head and stepped closer until I was an inch or two from him, the ends of our noses just touching.

"Damn you," Emmett murmured.

"Come back to bed."

After another minute or two dragging his feet he shed his clothes again and joined me. I sucked his cock and didn't ask anything in return, feeling like I kind of owed him, but at the same time I knew it was really something else he wanted and the thought didn't make for a comfortable night. Emmett slept and I rested in his arms like I usually did, but I couldn't relax. All I could think was that he loved me and it wasn't what I wanted. If I let it go on, he was going to end up feeling like shit and I was going to...I didn't know what I would do, but I didn't want to end up the same way, wondering every minute if somehow it was going to be thrown back in my face.

By the time we got up in the morning I felt like shit. My head was banging and I couldn't wait to get back to La Push. Emmett seemed the same as usual, thankfully and I let him drive back until we reached his driveway. He paused for a moment before getting out of the car.

"What now?" he asked.

"I'm going to be busy tomorrow and I'm working all week," I said. "But we can always get together during the day if you don't have to work. Why don't you call me if you get a day free?"

"Sure." He leaned over and gave me a kiss. "See you soon."

I didn't actually see him until the next weekend and I wasn't sure whether that was a good or a bad thing. We talked on the phone a couple times and he told me he had trips all over the place every day. Not seeing him gave me plenty of time to think and miss him and I kept going over and over the night in PA in my head, part of me wishing I had handled it differently and part of me wishing he had never said it. The fact that he didn't repeat it, even on Saturday morning or during Sunday when we spent time together, didn't make a blind bit of difference. I knew he was thinking it and it made my stomach knot up and my heart race. I felt like I needed to put some distance between us, in a way to test myself to see what I really wanted. I sure wasn't comfortable with the way things were now, knowing he wanted more than he was getting.

Another week passed and I didn't feel any better about it. In fact strangely I found myself wishing he would call more often, when he was clearly trying to give me space. I felt even worse, knowing he was trying to do what I wanted. The following Monday when the club was closed, I did the worst thing I could possibly do to try and convince myself that I didn't really feel anything. I was a dick and I knew it even as I walked through the door of Zieglers, but I went on with it regardless.

The long-haired guy with the green eyes was in there and the minute I got to the bar he made a beeline for me. I ignored him for a moment while I ordered myself a beer, trying to swallow the fact that I felt both nervous and guilty.

"Hey, Paul. Long time no see."

I took a gulp of the beer and turned to look at him. "From what I remember, we only saw each other once."

"We can soon remedy that. It's Bobbie, by the way."

"Yeah, I knew that," I said. I didn't have a clue what the guy's name was. I could just barely remember him giving me a blowjob in the back of some beat up old van and I found myself immediately comparing it to the way Emmett's mouth felt on me. There was no comparison.

"So you're on your own tonight," Bobbie said.

"I usually am when I come in here." I raised the bottle to my mouth again, trying to squash down the feeling that told me to get out of the damn bar and go home before I made a huge mistake.

"Lucky for me," Bobbie said, reaching out one hand to touch me. He rested it on the lower part of my chest, then pulled my shirt up and brushed his fingers over my abs. "Why don't we go outside? This place is pretty crowded tonight."

"My car's a couple blocks away," I heard myself say.

"So is my van, more room in there," he grinned. He put down his empty glass and took a step away towards the door. I followed quickly. The guy was hot, right? He wanted me and he was probably going to give me head. That was what I always wanted - quick meaningless sex that I could walk away from and not worry about anything else. I followed him outside onto the street and we turned left along the front of the building.

A crowd of people coming the other way forced us to step aside and my back bumped the wall. Bobbie turned around and moved in front of me, leaning closer to brush his lips against mine. Another second and his tongue thrust into my mouth, his body pressing up against me. I felt his hard cock against my thigh and he groaned into my mouth before breaking the kiss again.

"God, you're so hot," he murmured. "Do you fuck?"

Immediately an image of me with Emmett filled my mind; me on my back, my legs wrapped around him, his cock plunging deep into me, his mouth to my ear, nibbling, teasing, whispering, 'I love you'.

_What the fuck was I doing?_

"Sorry, not tonight." I pushed Bobbie away from me.

"Well, just a little fun then."

"No. I'm going home." I pushed myself away from the wall and stepped past him. "I'm not into this, ok. I shouldn't even be here."

"What the fuck?" Bobbie said, puzzled.

I ignored him and began to hurry back towards the parking lot where I left the Skyline.

"Asshole!"

The angry exclamation came to me as I strode away and I grimaced. Yeah, I was. What kind of person was I to be out hooking up with some stranger when Emmett was sitting at home oblivious? How he felt about me scared the crap out of me, but not enough to push him away, I realised. Thank God I hadn't actually done anything. I felt like the worst piece of shit already just from a five second kiss.

I jerked open the car door and threw myself into the seat, starting the engine quickly. I felt sick with myself. I longed to call Emmett right then just to hear his voice, but I knew I couldn't. What I needed more than that was to get home, get in the shower and scrub myself raw; try to convince myself I hadn't been intending to do what I had almost done before I could sound even slightly normal when I spoke to him again.

Sam and Emily had gone to bed when I got in and I took a shower, the water as hot as I could stand it until I emptied the tank and it ran cold. When I brushed my teeth I shut my eyes, not wanting to risk catching sight of myself in the mirror. I was pretty ashamed of myself and only thankful I had come to my senses before it was too late. Now I just had to decide what I was going to say to Emmett.

I tossed and turned all night and the first thing I did when I gave up trying to sleep was grab my phone to see if I had any messages. Emmett and I texted each other at the very least on the days when we didn't see each other and I was a bit surprised I hadn't heard from him the day before. There was still nothing from him, but a couple voicemails from Jared and Seth asking me where the hell I was since I had apparently been avoiding them the past few weeks. A third message was from Leah.

"I'm guessing you're still seeing you-know-who since you appear to have gone AWOL. So much for just fooling around until Sam and Emily get back, huh? Call me, fill me in, whatever. Bye."

Leah! Maybe she could help with my dilemma. Not that I really wanted to talk to her in detail, but she was on my side and I knew I could trust her. It wasn't like I had anyone else to use as a sounding board. I decided to call her later, but first I called Emmett. His phone went straight to voicemail as if it were switched off.

"Weird," I muttered. His phone was never off. He couldn't be in one of his meetings, it was too early. I hated talking to message services and I hung up and sent him a text instead.

'I tried calling, but I guess your phone's off. Call me? I'm home until four.'

I forgot about talking to Leah as I repeatedly glanced at my phone, waiting in vain for him to call or text. I still hadn't heard from him by the time I left for my kick boxing class and I tried calling him as I drove into Forks. This time the phone rang several times before the message service kicked in again and I ended the call, cursing in frustration. Where the hell was he? Ironically the fact that I wasn't hearing from him was making me all the more anxious to get hold of him and I called again after my class and sent another text from work. He didn't answer any of them and by the time I fell into bed that night, I still hadn't had so much as a text from him.

"Where the fuck are you?" I whispered aloud in the darkness. Shit, what if something had happened to him? But that didn't explain why his phone was off in the morning and on later. He must have seen my messages. I tormented myself for a while until exhaustion drew me into an uneasy sleep and when I woke around eight I grabbed my phone again. Nothing except for a text from Leah.

'Are you ok?'

"No, I'm not fucking ok," I growled, punching the green button twice to call Emmett again. His phone was ringing at least and then at last he answered. "Emmett!" I exclaimed in relief.

"No, it's Jasper."

"Oh! Well, can I talk to him?"

"Go fuck yourself, Paul!" he snapped.

"What the...?" I gasped.

"Jas, give me the phone!" Emmett's voice sounded from a distance.

"You're not talking to him! Fucking cheating shithead! What have you been saying to Edward, huh? Follow your own advice, Em, it's the best way."

"I was just going to..."

The phone cut off and I found myself listening to a dead line. What the fuck? My mind whirled for about a second before I remembered Monday - leaving Zieglers with Bobbie, kissing outside. Either Emmett saw me or one of the others did and told him about it, only they didn't hang around long enough to see me push the guy away and go home alone. I went cold inside and I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. How the hell did I put this right? The one person I actually did want thought I was fucking around just weeks after he said he loved me. He probably thought I was doing it because of that, which I guessed I had been - running away from the best thing that had ever happened to me. Only he didn't know what he was to me since I never had the balls to tell him and he didn't know I walked away from Bobbie or that I didn't want to lose him. I _knew_ I didn't want to lose him, however scary the whole thing seemed.

_"Fuck!"_ I growled, hurling my phone at the door. It broke, of course and I cursed again. The door opened a crack.

"Is it safe to come in?" Emily peeked cautiously through the gap.

"Sorry," I groaned.

She pushed the door wider and stepped in, stooping to pick up the bits of phone. "I don't think you meant to do that."

"No."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Not really. I messed up, that's all."

"With what? Work?"

"Hell, no, that's going great," I said at once.

"So it must be a matter of the heart then," Emily smiled.

"Huh, when have you ever known my heart to get involved in anything?" I grunted.

"Are you seeing someone, Paul?"

"No," I sighed. I probably wasn't since he thought I was cheating on him.

"I like to think we're family, you know, which means you can talk to me and Sam about anything," Emily went on. "You've been kind of weird since we got back from our trip."

"There's really nothing much to talk about," I said firmly. "It's just that, someone thinks I did something that I didn't actually do, only they won't talk to me so I can't explain that."

"If it's really that important, then you have to find a way to make them listen," said Emily matter-of-factly, passing me the parts of my phone. "Looks pretty important to me." She left me to it and I flopped back onto the bed with a sigh. First job of the day would be to go buy a new phone.

As soon as it was late enough for the stores to be opening in Forks, I drove off towards town, cursing myself again for smashing three hundred dollars on my bedroom door. As I turned onto the main road which led out of the Reservation I passed the bus stop and spotted Leah standing there, battling with an umbrella in the wind as the rain did its best to soak her. I stood on the brakes and skidded towards the side of the road, making her jump back as a wave splashed up from the tyres. Leah folded the umbrella, dragged the door open and dropped into the seat.

"You idiot, Paul, you almost drowned me!" she exclaimed, but then grinned. "Thanks for stopping."

"Yeah." I put the car into gear again and pulled away from the kerb. "Where's your car?"

"In the shop. Did you get my message?"

"Yeah, I was going to call, but I broke my phone," I said. "I'm just going to buy a new one."

"You broke it _after _you got the message?" Leah asked. "What's going on with you lately? None of us have heard from you, Jake said to tell you some parts came in that you ordered. Something to do with the new turbo you got in PA? I don't know, I didn't pay attention. So what's going on with Emmett?"

"Nothing," I grunted.

"As in, now the cats are home the mouse stopped playing?"

"Not exactly."

"Jeez, Paul, it's like pulling teeth with you," sighed Leah. "You know, you look like shit, you broke your phone...did you fight with him?"

"No. I don't know."

"Talk to me, man!"

"Well, it's not just one thing," I said, not quite knowing where to start. She would think I was a jerk. But she had promised to be my confidante if I needed one.

"So start with problem number one," she prompted.

"He wants more than he's getting," I blurted.

"As in...physical stuff?"

"No."

"Ah ha, lovey dovey stuff. So give him more. You want him, right? Care about him?"

"Yeah..."

"Do you love him?"

"Hell, Leah, I don't know. Maybe. I think so. I don't want to go there, it's...too hard." My heart began to hammer as I realised what I was saying was true. It had taken me too damn long to get around to that conclusion, but now it seemed it was too late.

"Look, I'm not Quil, but I can take a good guess at what he would say," Leah said. "Get your head out of your butt and get after him if he's what you want before you lose the guy. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that stuff with your Dad and your brother and whatever fucked you up, but it doesn't mean you're going to get a kick in the teeth every time you open yourself up."

"I didn't know you knew about my brother!" I gasped.

"I don't, only that you had one and presumably you don't now since I never saw him. Look, I don't know what happened and it's up to you whether you tell me or not, but go tell Emmett at least. Much as I hate to say it, he seems like a nice guy and he's certainly a saint for putting up with your bullshit. Maybe it's time you made it worth his while."

"Yeah, but that brings us to problem number two," I said, deciding I may as well tell her the lot. So far she was cool. "I fucked up and he won't talk to me."

"What did you do?"

"I was freaked out with the way I felt, the way he said he felt. I went to a bar to see..."

"You fucked someone else," Leah interrupted.

"No, Leah! I...well, he thinks I did. Nothing happened. I talked to this guy, I thought _maybe_ I would fool around. It was one kiss and I told him to fuck off, but someone saw me. I don't know if it was Emmett or Jasper or what, but they clearly didn't hang around long enough to see me walk off alone and go home."

"And now you realise you do actually want Emmett - love him even?"

"Yeah."

"So go talk to the dude."

"I would if he would listen."

"Paul, don't be a jerk. If he's that important to you, make him listen. Get him in a headlock or something if you have to; you do all that kung fu shit, don't you?"

"Jujitsu, yeah," I snorted.

"Yes, that. Whatever; don't throw it away over a stupid mistake that wasn't even anything that mattered. If he loves you, it won't switch off like a tap, he'll just be hurting and protecting himself."

"You should be a counseller," I told her.

"What do I know? I just read a lot of romance novels and the hero and heroine nearly always have a 'misunderstanding' and one of them has to grovel. Don't you ever tell anyone I read that shit, Paul, or I'll castrate you!" she added with a smirk.

I grinned. "Thanks, Leah."

"Thank me later. Go sort it out. Today."


	15. Chapter 15

**As always, thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing - glad you're all enjoying the cliffhangers, hehe ;o)**

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

**Emmett's POV**

I didn't want to believe what Jasper and Edward were telling me when they got back from Forks Monday night. Jasper had insisted on dragging Edward into town for a meal and some drinks to get him out of the house and away from his wallowing over Bella and reluctantly he had agreed to it. I hadn't gone because I felt pretty fed up myself and was anxious for some time away from them. I had been doing my best to cover up how I was feeling, but I knew Jasper at least was going to catch on before long.

I knew I shouldn't have told Paul I loved him, but in the aftermath of an orgasm I suppose my mind told me to just blurt it out and it would all be alright. It wasn't alright, of course it wasn't. It was way too soon and I shouldn't have pushed him with a statement like that, knowing the way he felt about relationships. The minute it was out of my mouth I wished I could have taken it back. He didn't react quite the way I expected and at least he didn't throw it back in my face, but things were awkward between us afterwards.

Since then, it had only gotten worse. On the surface things were the same, but what I said constantly hovered between us and I knew Paul was uncomfortable with it. It seemed like he was just waiting for me to repeat it, which I had no intention of doing. I was actually glad when our work kept us apart for the majority of the next couple weeks, much as I longed to be with him. I wanted to turn the clock back to the motel in PA and keep my mouth shut. I knew he had feelings for me - I mean, he was still around, despite never having so much as gone back for seconds with any other guy - but it was pretty clear he didn't feel anywhere near as strongly as I did.

Jasper and Edward came back early from Forks and Edward went straight to bed. Jasper came into my room, closed the door and leaned on it, a serious expression on his face.

"Is Edward ok?" I asked him.

"It's not Edward."

"What then?" I was sprawling on my bed fiddling with my phone, wondering why Paul hadn't even sent me a text when I knew he wasn't working.

"We saw Paul." His face darkened in a scowl and he ground his teeth for a second, clenching his fists at his sides. "What do you even see in that fucker, Emmett?"

"Jesus, Jas, what's that supposed to mean?" I frowned.

"He was with someone else."

"Wha...? What do you mean? Where? Doing what?" I babbled, sitting up rapidly.

"Kissing. He was kissing some guy outside that gay bar."

"You must have been mistaken," I said.

"Em, do you really think I'd say something like that to you if I wasn't completely sure? I know you love the guy. It was definitely him. I'm sorry."

I didn't know how Edward felt when he saw Bella kiss someone else and I wondered if it was the same as what I felt right then. There was a strange rushing in my ears and Jasper's voice faded out. My stomach turned over and my heart felt like Paul had reached into my chest and torn it out, while at the same time all of my breath seemed to have been sucked out of me. I knew I freaked him out saying I loved him, but did I mean so little to him that he would go and get it on with some stranger at the first opportunity? Images of them filled my head, perhaps in the restrooms in Zieglers, Paul on his knees with some faceless guy's cock in his mouth. Everything I had eaten that day began to head north and I dived into my bathroom and threw up violently. When it was over I scrubbed my teeth until my gums bled and then returned to my room to find Jasper sitting on the edge of my bed waiting for me.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

I sat down heavily. I had no idea what to do. Paul and I had been together five minutes, but I was crazy about him - he had become just about the only thing I thought about day and night and I relished every minute I was with him. At least I had done until I went and told him I loved him and fucking scared the hell out of him.

"It's my fault," I murmured.

"Don't you dare say that!" Jasper exclaimed. "There is no excuse for cheating. Do you think it's Edward's fault that slut Bella went and dropped her panties for some other guy? No! And it's not your fault Paul can't keep it in his pants either! He's a fucking jerk and you're lucky it hasn't gone any further before you found out."

"It's gone far enough," I groaned. "I told him I love him. I knew he wasn't ready to hear that."

"It doesn't matter," said Jasper. "It doesn't give him the excuse to go and screw around; if he's that freaked out by it he should have broken up with you first."

Would it hurt any less, I wondered, if Paul had ditched me? Probably not. Either way, he clearly didn't want me enough to be with just me. I wondered if he would contact me later or tomorrow, assuming I didn't know, pretending everything was normal. The thought suddenly angered me and I snatched up my phone again and switched it off. Fuck him. I wasn't going to talk to him. Jasper was right. He was a cheating piece of shit and I didn't deserve this. I'd had a lucky escape and I was damned if I was going to wallow in self pity and long for him like Edward was doing with Bella, despite his intentions to move on. I would work through it and forget him.

I lasted until the middle of the next day before I switched my phone back on and by the time I went to bed I had several missed calls and texts from him. I didn't answer any of them and it gave me a smug sense of satisfaction - albeit a very small one - that he was calling and texting and presumably wondering where I was. Clearly he had had his fun in Zieglers and now thought things could carry on as before. I was almost tempted to answer one of his messages, but determinedly restrained myself. I wouldn't be doing myself any favours and my head wasn't in the right place to talk to him. Despite my determination to stay mad, I was just miserable and longing to hear his voice.

It was Jasper who answered my phone when it rang again early the next morning. I didn't even have chance to look at the caller display before he grabbed it and a moment later he was snarling, "Go fuck yourself, Paul!"

I would actually have talked to him at that point and I asked Jasper to give me the phone, but he wouldn't and hung up a moment later after saying 'cheating shithead' loud enough for Paul to have heard him. So now Paul knew I knew and it was Jasper I was mad with.

"I know you're looking out for me, but you need to let me sort this out myself," I said. "I don't need protecting. I'm going to have to talk to him sooner or later; I want to at least know what was going through his head the other night, so just leave it now please."

"Sorry, I just thought you wouldn't want to talk to him."

"I don't particularly, but I'll have to some time."

I thought I would just wait and see if he called again, now he knew I was no doubt upset and my siblings were baying for his blood, but he didn't call. He turned up at the house in the afternoon. I was in the shower, realising I hadn't had one since the previous morning and I was sweaty and disgusting. I was standing under the hot water with my eyes shut, trying not to think about being in the shower with Paul, lathering each other up and making each other horny, when I heard the doorbell go. I ignored it right up until I heard yelling outside the front of the house and my eyes flew open in surprise. Immediately the shampoo I had been applying ran into them and stung like a bastard and I yelped and cursed, trying to wash it out and grab a towel and turn the water off at the same time.

"Fuck, fuck," I muttered, scrubbing myself haphazardly and grabbing a pair of jeans, possibly the worst thing to try and put on when you're still wet. My bedroom window was open and I could hear Jasper, Alice and _Paul_ going at it in the front yard. My heart leaped into my mouth. He was here! I was immediately desperate to see him regardless of the pain I was in at the thought of what he might have done.

"Go to hell, Lahote!" Jasper was growling. "He doesn't want to see you."

"You shithead," Alice added. "How could you do that to him, huh? Don't you know how he feels about you? What kind of man are you?"

"I didn't fucking do anything!" bellowed Paul. "I'll explain that to him if you let me see him."

"Lie to his face, you mean!" Alice cried. "Why would he believe you, huh? Jasper and Edward saw you with your tongue down some guy's throat!"

"I made a mistake!" Paul exclaimed. "It was nothing. The guy kissed me and I pushed him away and went home. If you and Edward bothered to hang around you would have seen me march off and get in my car!"

"That wouldn't have proved anything," Alice said icily. "You could have been with the guy all night and were kissing him goodbye."

"Just let me talk to Emmett," said Paul.

"Not a chance in hell," Jasper responded.

I looked out of the window, still struggling to yank my jeans up over damp thighs and I saw my brother standing at the top of the steps, arms folded while Alice stood beside him with her hands on her hips. They were like a pair of guard dogs and although I loved them like crazy and was grateful for their determined support, I was pissed that despite me telling them I needed to sort this out my own way, they weren't giving me the opportunity.

Finally I had the jeans up and I pulled up the zipper and threw myself out of the room, hurtling down the stairs barefoot with my hair dripping down my back and in my eyes. The front door was open and as I headed for it, Mom's car pulled up in the driveway right behind Paul's Skyline and she got out, walking towards the house with a puzzled frown on her face. Shit. I stepped sideways into a doorway so she wouldn't see me.

"Hey, Mom," Alice said. "This is Paul Lahote. He was just leaving."

Mom glared. "What are you doing here? Aren't you the man who attacked Emmett after his accident in Kent?"

"Fuck," I muttered. I wasn't sure whether to go out and intervene or stay where I was out of sight.

"Yes, I'm sorry about that," Paul said. "I sorted that out with Emmett a while ago."

"So what are you doing here now?" Mom pressed.

"He was bugging Emmett about something, so we're sending him on his way," Jasper said firmly.

"Yeah, well, I guess I'm going to go then. Good afternoon, Mrs Cullen." Paul backed off and a moment later I heard the Skyline's engine start up. With a sigh I headed back to my room. I ran into Edward on the landing and he followed me.

"What's going on out there?"

"Paul came over. Jasper and Alice were telling him to go to hell when Mom got home," I said with a sigh.

"Do you want to talk to him?" Edward asked, closing the door.

"I don't know. You're in the same position as me, what's your opinion?"

Edward sat down on my desk chair and fiddled with a pen for a moment, biting his lip. "It's hardly the same thing. Bella's dating that other guy now."

"If she wasn't?"

"Jasper would think I'm a dick," Edward said. "But I guess I can tell you this. If it really was a momentary indiscretion and she came over grovelling and promising not to do it again, I'd take her back in a heartbeat. I can't help it, I love her. It's killing me not being with her. Obviously that's not going to happen and I'm just going to have to move on and forget about it, but that's my answer. Perhaps you could at least talk to Paul and give him chance to explain. If you don't like what he has to say, then you can tell him to go fuck himself."

"I don't know," I said. "He told Jasper and Alice he didn't do anything, that the guy kissed him and he pushed him away and went home. But if that's true, why did he even go to Zieglers? I keep thinking about the time I hooked up with him in there. He could have been doing that exact same thing with this other guy. Maybe the kiss was a goodbye."

"What would he have been doing in the bar?" Edward asked curiously.

"Trust me, you don't want to know. But it makes me sick. I don't know if I even want to talk to him yet. Earlier I thought I did, but..."

"So don't then," Edward said. "Give it a bit of time. Talk to him when you're ready to."

"Yeah. You know what I was thinking? I might go visit Tanya and Irina and the others again. Just for a week maybe. Otherwise I'm just going to end up talking to him before I'm ready to; before I know what I want to do about this. Right now, I'm feeling the same as you - that if he came grovelling, or explained or whatever, I'd take him back, but if he did this because I said I loved him, it's never going to work when he doesn't feel the same."

"You told him you love him?" Edward gasped.

"Yeah, well I do," I shrugged.

"He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would...I don't know...be in love."

I sighed heavily. "Well, that's just the problem. He's not."

I broached the subject of me going to Alaska over dinner. I was pushing the food around my plate, unable to swallow despite Mom eyeing me worriedly the whole time and she had asked me twice what was wrong and if it was anything to do with Paul turning up at the house. Fortunately Dad was working a double shift at the hospital otherwise I would have been totally mortified. It was bad enough that I was even considering telling Mom what was really going on. Right now it seemed like there were much worse things than Mom knowing I liked guys.

"You're behaving just like Edward," Mom added at that point. "Is it this girl you're seeing?"

"There isn't a girl," I blurted.

"You broke up?" she said sympathetically.

"No, there never was a girl. I don't...I'm..."

"Em?" Alice murmured, eyes widening.

"...gay," I whispered.

"What did you say, Emmett?"

I wasn't sure whether Mom hadn't heard me, or was so shocked she needed me to repeat it.

"He said he's gay," Edward said calmly.

"Well!" Mom's eyes bulged until I almost expected them to pop out of the sockets and land in her maccaroni. "Well," she said again more quietly. "This is a surprise. And very sudden."

"I've known since I was about twelve," I admitted. "When I first came here I got the impression you and Dad would be horrified or ashamed or something, so I never said anything. Jas and Ed and Alice have only known a few weeks."

Mom put her knife and fork down and sipped her water, clearly giving herself a minute to try and think of something to say.

"It's no big deal," Alice said in the interim. "Lots of people are gay, Mom. It's not a disease."

"I know that, Alice," Mom frowned and then looked at me again. "It's alright, Emmett. You're my son, I love you no matter what. I'm not so sure what Dad will think about this, but much as I usually do support him, you can rest assured that whatever he says, I will support you."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Sometimes he can be a bit old-fashioned, I know that. He's probably going to need some time to get used to the idea." She smiled gently. "So what does this have to do with that young man from the Reservation?"

"We were seeing each other," I admitted.

"Well, I'm not even going to ask how that happened, since you seemed to hate each other before. What I want to know is why your brother and sister were clearly stopping him from seeing you earlier."

"We had a fight, that's all," I said, glancing from Jasper to Alice and silently daring them to contradict me. The last thing I wanted was Mom thinking Paul cheated on me. There would be no going back then. "So I thought I'd go see our cousins for a few days and think about things," I went on. "If that's ok with you."

"Of course it's ok, Emmett," Mom said at once. "Jasper can manage a few deliveries while you're gone, can't you, sweetie?"

"Sure, no problem."

"When do you plan to go?" Alice asked.

"I haven't looked at flights yet, but probably by the end of the week."

"I think that's a good idea," said Mom. "Don't worry about Dad for the moment. I'll talk to him while you're gone. There's no sense having a big discussion with him when you're upset already."

"Thanks, Mom," I said in surprise. "May I be excused? I'll go see if I can find a flight now."

"Of course."

I went to my room, grabbed my laptop and began searching for flights from Sea-Tac to Anchorage. There was one leaving at noon on Friday and when I attempted to book a seat, I found there were plenty available. I tapped my credit card on the edge of the desk, wondering if I really wanted to just leave without even talking to Paul first. What if it really had only been a brief kiss that he regretted and he was longing to talk to me? What if he was feeling like a real dick and I was about to run away and leave him to suffer?

"Fuck him," I muttered. He didn't have to go to Zieglers looking for trouble, did he? I clicked the 'Reserve Seat' button and went on to pay for the flight, deciding to book one way only and then decide when I got there how long I wanted to stay.

I had turned my phone off again and I put it in the drawer in my bed table and left it there Thursday when Jasper accompanied me to Portland to make a delivery. We made the trip last all day, eating lunch in a diner there and driving back more slowly, stopping off at a couple places en route. The subject of Paul was banned for the day and I did my best to concentrate on the other things we talked about and not think about him. It was a losing battle and I was distracted and grumpy despite Jasper's best efforts to cheer me up.

We returned home just before eight and I went straight to my room. I pulled my case out from under the bed and packed clothes and personal items, took the printed booking form from the computer desk and placed it on top of the case along with my wallet and then dug my phone out of the drawer and added it to the pile along with its power cable. I had no intention of switching it back on before I reached Anchorage, however.

It was only then when everything was ready for me to leave in the morning that the anger that had kept me going evaporated. I imagined myself flying off to Alaska, putting thousands of miles between myself and Paul without even talking to him first, without knowing what he was thinking. Had he cared about me at all, I wondered? Was he even now with somebody else? It hurt like hell and as my anger dissolved, so did my usual strength. I dropped my head into my hands and closed my eyes, hot tears squeezing out of the corners and rolling down my cheeks.

"Fuck," I choked. Maybe Paul actually had a point - love fucking sucked.

"Emmett?"

I jerked my head up and scrubbed my hands over my wet cheeks as Edward peeked cautiously around the door.

"Sorry, shall I leave you alone?"

"No, come in." I cleared my throat and sniffed hard. "I'm being a jerk."

"No, you're not. I've cried buckets the last few days." He closed the door and sat down next to me. "You got everything packed?"

"Yeah."

Edward hung out with me for the rest of the evening, slipping out to fetch hot drinks once and returning to tell me that Dad was working the night shift and would miss me in the morning. Mom had told him I was going to visit my cousins again and had done nothing more than hint at a problem in my 'relationship' which Dad had taken to mean the girl I had made up.

"She's going to tell him the truth when you're gone," he finished.

"He'll hate it," I sighed.

"He'll get over it. Don't worry about it, Emmett, you've got enough on your plate. Has Paul been in touch any more?"

"I don't know, my phone's off," I said. "I will talk to him, but when I get back. If he comes around here again, will you tell him what I'm doing, please? I know Jas and Alice will just tell him to drop dead."

"Sure," Edward said at once. I knew I could trust him to do as I asked.

I barely slept that night, plagued with doubts as to whether going away was really the right thing to do. It seemed cowardly to be running away, but I knew I needed the time. However, the more I thought about it the more I wondered if Paul had actually been telling the truth when he came over here. Maybe me disappearing was completely the wrong thing to do and I should talk to him first.

I went as far as to pick up my phone from the top of the case and switch it back on, waiting for the screen to light up and the service to connect, my heart pounding as I waited to see if there were any more missed calls or texts. The phone stayed silent and after five minutes I turned it off again.

"Damnit," I muttered. I had been hoping there would have been at least a text and I began to realise I wanted to hear his voice more than I wanted to run away. I decided to turn my phone back on in the morning and that way if he did try to get in touch with me when I was on the way to Sea-Tac I could pull over and talk to him. Then I had the option of telling him to go to hell and continuing to the airport or alternatively I could turn around and come back. Maybe he would grovel, tell me nothing happened and beg me not to go. I instantly had an image of myself racing back to Forks at breakneck speed, hurling myself out of the GTR and into Paul's arms.

"Don't be such a fucking dick," I said to myself. "That shit only happens in movies. He probably won't even call."

I tossed and turned for the rest of the night and by the time I rose at six-thirty I had a headache, my eyes were sore and I felt like hell. I took a shower and drank some strong coffee, pretending to the others who had all gathered in the kitchen that I was looking forward to the trip. I forced down a few bites of the toast Mom stuck in front of me and then fetched my case from my room and stashed everything in the car. Everyone came outside to see me off like I was going on some epic journey and they all hugged me and then watched as I got in the GTR and headed slowly down the drive. My phone was in my pocket and I was constantly aware of it pressing against my thigh as I hoped it would ring. Would he call and say something that would stop me going, I wondered? Or would I be getting on the plane in a few hours and leaving him behind?


	16. Chapter 16

**As always, thank you to everyone who reviewed, or simply read and enjoyed. I know you've all been waiting for this one - finally Paul spills out details of his past so we get to find out why he is such a screw up :o)**

**LuvnmyEdward - I can't PM you, but just wanted to say thanks for your great reviews, they always make me smile :o)**

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

**Paul's POV**

I couldn't really blame Jasper and Alice, but I had to wonder if Emmett put them up to it, or if he would have talked to me if they hadn't gotten in the way. Then Esme Cullen turned up and I had to back off. It was clear enough that it wasn't just Jasper that knew what was going on, but his mother didn't and the last thing I wanted to do was cause a scene and out him, knowing how I would feel about that myself. I left reluctantly and spent the rest of the day and most of the next hoping he would call me and alternately being foul tempered and moping around like a dick. I hated that I couldn't seem to control myself and countless times I grabbed up my phone and almost tried calling Emmett again, but then stopped myself. I couldn't do this on the phone; I needed to talk to him in person, without everybody else around him.

Leah had already called me twice to find out what happened, the first time after I had told her I was going over to the Cullens since I couldn't get Emmett on the phone and the second time Thursday night telling me I better not be giving up and waiting for him to come to me, since I was the jerk who kicked him in the teeth.

There was nothing for it - I had to go over to his house again and somehow get in front of him and make him listen to me. He was without a doubt the best thing that had ever happened to me and I knew I was pretty close to losing him, which was something I didn't even want to contemplate when I thought about it properly. Maybe it wouldn't be such a disaster to actually have someone in my life; maybe it was worth the risk after all. Just because my parents failed me and I'd pretty much copied them up to now, didn't mean I couldn't turn it around and be happy. What was it Quil had said to me in his letter? I pulled it out of the drawer where I kept it and read the last paragraph for about the twentieth time even though I didn't need to actually look at the words - I had long since memorised them.

_"One more thing; don't be alone, Paul. I know there's somebody out there who you can trust the way you did me, who can be even more to you if you let them."_

Could Emmett be that person? Time to find out. I glanced at my clock and deciding it was no longer unreasonably early, I grabbed my keys and phone and left my room.

"Paul, do you want breakfast?" Emily called from the kitchen.

"No, thanks, I'm going out," I said.

"I wish you'd tell us what's going on with you lately, you've been odd since we got home, but worse these last few days," she said. "Are you seeing someone?"

"Kind of," I admitted.

"Oh! Well, you don't look very happy about it. Are you fighting with her?"

"Something like that. I'm going to try sort it out." I took a deep breath. "I'll tell you about it soon, I promise."

"Sure, ok, whenever you're ready. See you later."

I left her to it and went out to the Skyline. Minutes later I was driving off the Reservation and heading for the Cullens', my stomach an uncomfortable knot of nerves and my heart in my mouth. I was determined not to let the rest of them get in my way this time, not even his parents. I'd just have to think up some reason why I had to see him, but I'd do that when I got there if necessary.

Alice came out alone when I pulled up close to the front steps and I relaxed slightly. She was a bulldog in disguise, but I figured I could get past her even if I had to physically move her aside. I got out of the car.

"Morning, Alice."

"Emmett's not here," she said.

"Of course he's not. Look, I'm not leaving this time without seeing him, so you better either go get him or let me in."

"I told you, he's not here. He's gone away, just this morning," she repeated.

"Gone away?" I echoed. "Where?"

"Away from you."

Shit. I guessed she must be telling the truth and my heart plummeted. Emmett had gone away? He must be really fucking pissed at me to go to such extreme measures to avoid me. I wasn't sure how to respond to that for a moment and as I was thinking about it, Edward appeared.

"Don't you say anything!" Alice hissed at him.

Edward just shrugged and raised his eyebrows and Alice turned back to me. "Emmett's gone to visit our cousins in Alaska," she said. "I don't know how long he's staying, probably a month or two."

If he was heading for Alaska he must be on his way to Sea-Tac, I thought, remembering seeing him there on his way back after I had dropped off Sam and Emily there a few weeks ago.

"How long ago did he leave?" I demanded.

"Oh, three or four hours, it was still dark," Alice said. "He'll be on the plane by now. You had better go, Dad will be home from the hospital soon and the last person he'll want to see on his doorstep is you."

There didn't seem to be anything else I could do except try calling Emmett again and I turned away slowly and returned to the car. Fuck! I should have come earlier. I should have come last night. I should have...

"Wait."

I turned around in surprise at the sound of Edward's voice and found him behind me.

"What?" I grunted.

"Why do you want to see him?" he asked.

"I..."

"Do you feel anything for him or are you just fucking with him?" he went on before I could say anything.

"Yeah, I feel something. Why do you think I keep coming over here?"

"Emmett loves you," Edward said. "God knows why; you're a jerk and I would tell you to fuck off like the others, but I don't like seeing my brother cry over someone. He's never gotten involved with anyone before and it kills me seeing him look so miserable. So if you're looking for him to fix that, then I'll tell you where he went. Not that I can see how you would fix cheating on him."

Emmett was crying over me? Shit! As if I didn't already feel guilty enough. The thought gave me some hope though; at least he didn't hate me. In addition, Edward's words indicated that Emmett wasn't already on a plane. Maybe he didn't even go to Alaska.

"I'll fix it," I said at once. "I didn't cheat. I panicked and I thought I wanted to run away. It was one kiss and I walked away from the guy feeling like shit. Emmett is all I want. Please, Edward, tell me where he is."

"He is going to visit our cousins, he's driving to Sea-Tac," Edward told me. "But he only left about fifteen minutes ago, you might be able to catch him."

I yanked the car door open, almost fell into the seat and started the engine quickly. Edward put his hand on the door to slam it closed and I uttered a quick 'thanks' before it banged shut. Then I was tearing down the drive leaving plumes of gravel in my wake. I barely slowed as I reached the end of the long drive, seeing no traffic in either direction. The Skyline's rear end swung out and drifted gracefully into the road before I stood harder on the gas and straightened up. The manoeuvre was pure luck and I breathed a sigh of relief when the tyres didn't even touch the shoulder.

I drove as fast as I dare on the bendy road, praying I wasn't going to run into Charlie Swan and get pulled over. Thankfully, I made it to Forks without even seeing another vehicle and I took the exit to join the freeway that led north, hoping Emmett wasn't speeding. He had a lot more horsepower than I did and would outrun me easily. However, after about another fifteen miles I finally spotted a white car up ahead in the distance and as I slowly gained on it, I recognised a GTR with dark windows. It had to be him. I closed the gap steadily and settled around thirty yards behind him, flashing my headlights. He neither slowed nor sped up and I approached his rear fender and honked, flashing the lights again. He couldn't possibly be unaware of me. I pulled out my phone and tried calling him, but he didn't answer. Then suddenly the GTR sped up and shot away from me.

"Fuck!" I growled as the distance between us lengthened rapidly. I could see myself chasing him all the way to the airport and having some ridiculous confrontation in front of hundreds of people. I acclerated hard to give chase, but then as I noticed the sign for a turning up ahead, his right indicator went on and he left the freeway. I relaxed a fraction, eased up on the gas and followed more slowly for about a mile until the GTR pulled off the narrow road onto a patch of dirt at the entrance to a field of crops. There was ample room there and I parked up behind him and got out of the Skyline, my heart hammering. Emmett was out of his car already, leaning against the rear wing with his arms folded. Now I had him right in front of me, what the hell did I say?

"What do you want, Paul?" he asked before I could open my mouth.

"I wanted to talk to you," I said. "I've been trying to call and I came over to your house..."

"I know, I heard." He sighed heavily. "How did you know where I was?"

"Edward told me."

Emmett nodded as if he expected it and I wondered if he had asked Edward to point me in the right direction.

"When they saw me in Forks, it wasn't what it looked like," I said.

"So you weren't kissing some guy, then?"

"I was freaked out; I didn't know what I wanted. I went down there thinking...I don't know what I was thinking, I guess I was testing myself. Nothing happened. I talked to the guy, he kissed me and I shoved him away and went home. All I could think about was you. I felt like a real shit. I'm sorry."

"So why do it in the first place? Testing yourself? Who does that? I told you I love you! I know it was too soon and I backed off to give you some space, but I didn't expect you to go and try getting it on with someone else to see how it made you feel! For all I know you could have been in that same stall we hooked up in, sucking the guy's cock!"

"I didn't touch him!" I snapped. "I don't fucking lie, Emmett. The only thing I ever lied about was not being gay and both of us have done that."

"Look, I don't know what to believe," Emmett said. "I don't know if I can trust you. You haven't given me any reason to think you even care about me. I'm going to Alaska for a while to think about things and figure out what I want." He pushed himself away from the car, turned and slid back into the driver's seat. Shit. He was going to just take off and I had no idea how to stop him or how to fix things.

"Emmett, wait, I don't want you to leave," I said.

"Why? What's the point in me staying?"

"I don't want to lose you."

"Well, you should have thought of that before you went to Zieglers. Even if we were to forget that, not wanting to lose me isn't enough, Paul. Nowhere near enough."

"It's not just that." Damnit. I wished I was better at this. I wished I could just say what I thought, what I felt, rather than being so fucking closed off. It was like my mouth just wouldn't let the words out.

"Then what is it?" Emmett said exasparatedly. "Tell me why I should stay or I'm leaving right now."

He started the engine and I stared at him in alarm. "Fuck," I muttered.

"That's all you've got to say?" He looked hurt rather than angry as he reached out to grab the door and pull it closed and I jumped forward suddenly and grabbed it.

"I love you!" I bellowed desperately. "Is that what you want to hear?"

Emmett's eyes shot up to my face and his mouth opened, but he didn't speak. I let go the door and backed away a few paces, my eyes darting about and avoiding his. I couldn't really believe I had said that; I'd _never_ said that, never even thought it, at least not about someone who wasn't family. Now I was just waiting for Emmett to tell me I was a jerk and drive off to Sea-Tac, leaving me standing there with my fucking feelings written all over me. He cut the engine and got out of the car again.

"Yeah, that's what I want to hear," he said. "So why did it take me leaving for you to say that? You know how I feel about you."

My heart, which had been slamming against my ribs as if it meant to break through, lurched into my mouth and I licked my lips, trying not to think too much, thinking I should just talk for once in my life and if he didn't like it then it wouldn't be any worse than what I already said. He could still go to Alaska.

"You really want me to tell you where I'm coming from? Hell, Emmett, you'll probably get right back in the car and drive off to Timbuktu to get away from me."

"I won't," he said firmly. "Talk to me."

"I only ever said that to two people," I began awkwardly.

"Said what?"

"That. You know, what I just said to you. My Mom and my brother Peter and both of them died and left me." God, I really was going to tell him everything. I hesitated again. What if I blurted it all out and he still did the same fucking thing they had done? Left me, one way or another.

"Shit, Paul, I'm sorry, I..." Emmett was saying.

"Don't!" I growled at him, holding my hand up. "Let me get this out before I change my mind. I'll start from the beginning. Don't fucking pity me either."

Emmett held up both hands and backed away to lean up against his car again.

"My brother was ten when I was born. Golden boy. He couldn't do a thing wrong in my Dad's eyes. Don't get me wrong, I never resented him, he was like my super-hero. He always had time for me, to play games or help me with my homework or something when I got older."

I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. Damn, almost ten years and it still affected me. I would have been a completely different person now if Peter was still around.

"Dad drank a lot," I went on, gritting my teeth. "I think I told you he used my Mom as a punch bag, and me too."

Emmett nodded but stayed quiet.

"He never laid a finger on Peter, but he wasn't bad like me. He did well in school, he was on the football team, he dated nice girls and he lived up to expectations. I was a pretty horrible kid, I guess at the time I thought I deserved it.

"I told you my Mom died, right? She swallowed a whole new bottle of Ambien and washed them down with Dad's bourbon when I was four years old. Dad was at work and Peter at school. It was lunchtime and I was hungry so I went looking for her and found her on the bathroom floor. She was stone cold by the time Peter got home. You know what Dad told me? That I was such a monster that she couldn't bear to go on for another day having to deal with me."

"Fuck!" Emmett gasped. I didn't want to have to look at his horrified expression and I turned to face the road, talking fast to get it out as if not lingering over the words might make it less hard.

"Of course, Peter told me the truth, that she was sick of trying to please Dad, trying not to make a mistake, having to cover up the bruises and too scared to simply walk out because she knew he would never let her take us with her. He told me she had loved me, but I didn't know whether to believe it or not. If she loved me and Peter, why would she leave us? I know _now_ obviously, but when you're a kid, it seems like _you_ are the reason for everything and I couldn't get past the fact that I was a little shit and Dad was always blaming her for not being able to make me behave.

"Peter was heartbroken over Mom, but he got on with things. He was a straight A student and went to university to study to be a lawyer. He raced stock cars for fun and Dad bought him everything he could ever want or need. The drinking got worse when Peter went to uni; I must have been about eight by then and without him there all the time, I got the brunt of Dad's anger at Mom leaving him with all the responsibility. The only attention I ever got from him was his fists. I had no hope of ever living up to Peter, so I didn't bother trying. I flunked classes, got in fights, was rude to everyone...which of course got me more beatings.

"Peter died when I was fourteen. He was racing in Portland and got in a four car pileup. They had to cut him out of the wreckage and he bled to death before they got to him."

Emmett hissed something under his breath at this point, but he stayed where he was. I realised I was pacing up and down the rough ground beside the road, my fists clenched, my breathing fast and uneven and my stomach knotted. Talking about it had brought the whole nightmare back as if it were yesterday and I wanted to get back in my car and drive off; try to forget it again. Most of it had stayed buried for years and only Quil had known the whole story. I could remember telling him all of it one night after we drank too many beers. It was that summer we had been together and he held onto me and kissed me for hours and told me it was over and I would never have to go through pain like that again.

My cheeks were wet, I realised, and I scrubbed my hands over them impatiently. Damnit, now I was crying like a fucking girl and I hadn't even noticed. I sniffed hard and carried on.

"We left Tacoma a few months after we buried Peter. Dad wanted to leave all the shit behind. It worked out pretty well because I was about to be expelled from school anyway for failing all my classes and kicking the shit out of some gay kid who gawked at me in the locker room, because I knew that was me inside and I didn't want anyone to know. Dad would have killed me.

"It was no better in La Push. We moved there in the summer and I met Quil before school started. He was my best friend right away. He tried to keep me out of trouble, poor bastard, but it was a losing battle. I fucked up and got in fights, Dad continued beating hell out of me and I dated girls to convince myself and everybody else that I didn't really like guys. When I was sixteen I got expelled for half killing a kid in school and trying to punch the teacher who broke it up. Sorry, I told you that part. I had another fight with Dad, but I was bigger then and I gave as good as I got. He was drunk and I knocked him out, packed up my stuff and moved into my truck on the beach. Quil found out what I was doing and fixed it for me to live with Sam and Emily. Dad went back to Tacoma not long after, never spoke to me again.

"I got the job in the warehouse a few weeks later. It was the only place that would take a kid with a record and no qualifications and it was the only thing I made any effort with. I thought if I had my own money I could make my own decisions and be in control of my life whereas I never had been up until then.

"The next summer me and Quil spent about a month fooling around together and I realised that was what I really wanted; not Quil specifically, but guys. We were closer friends afterwards. I started going in Zieglers a few months later and dating girls at the same time and he used to always want to hear the stories about what I'd been up to. I knew I was never going to fall for a girl, but they would be useful and if I only fooled around with guys I wouldn't fall for them either. Then he died. I did love him, as much as you can love your best friend.

"Then I had to go and hook up with you. I don't even know why I did it at the time, except that I thought you were fucking hot when I had a closer look." I smirked slightly through my tears which had continued to drip down my face, much to my annoyance. My voice was sounding progressively shakier as I paced about, but now I'd gotten going, I found I couldn't shut myself up.

"I didn't expect you to make me feel anything," I went on quickly. "I didn't want to feel anything because the same thing would happen again; you'd leave or die or something or that's what my fucked up brain told me. So much for that though. I don't know when it became too late for me to go back, probably when you went blurting out that you loved me in that motel. I didn't freak out because you said it, Emmett, it was because I felt the same and it scared the shit out of me. I didn't touch that guy in Zieglers, I was thinking about you the whole time and feeling like a complete dick, wondering what in hell I was doing when you were probably sat at home thinking about me. The guy kissed me and I came to my senses and went home and then I felt too sick with myself to call you when all I wanted was to hear your voice. I don't know what else I can say. I don't..."

"Paul." Emmett's voice halted my babble and when I turned around he was right there in front of me. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm the one who shit on you and you're saying sorry?" I half laughed, half sobbed.

His hands came to rest on my shoulders, the fingers touching the sides of my neck. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I'm sorry you just had to relive it all again and I'm sorry you never let yourself get close to anyone because of it. I'm not going anywhere, Paul."

"What about your trip?" I sniffed.

"I was only going to give myself some time to think about things because I didn't know if I could trust you or if you wanted me." He stepped closer to me and his lips touched the corner of my mouth. "I'm staying right here...with you. I love you."

"Love you too," I muttered, wrapping my arms around him slowly. The words still sounded alien coming off of my tongue, but I guessed I would get used to saying it. I held him tighter and we stood there hugging each other in silence for several moments until we both moved and our lips met. For the first time it didn't immediately become heated and sexual, but the kiss was gentle and warm and continued until some farm vehicle rolled past noisily and the driver leaned out of the window.

"Godamned faggots!" he sneered before continuing up the road.

I backed off quickly, but despite the insult I couldn't help smirking. I doubted anyone could have said anything that would have upset me or made me lose my temper at that moment. Emmett grinned and then laughed quietly.

"I guess we better go home. I'm going to have to face the music with my Dad," he said. "I told Mom the truth and she was pretty cool with it."

"Well, I kind of promised Emily I was going to tell her what's been going on," I said. "Leah seems to think everybody will be ok with it; I'm not sure, we'll see. You know what? I don't give a shit any more. If any of them have a problem with me being with you, it's their problem, not mine. I'm done worrying about." Finally I realised what was important was having him, not what anybody might say to me.

Emmett beamed now. "So how about we get together later and compare notes?" he suggested.

"Come over to my place later," I said decidedly. "I won't go to my class today, I'll just go into work tonight."

"Really? You want me to come to your house with your people there?"

"Yeah. If it's a war zone, I'll just come outside when you turn up," I grinned.

Glancing around for lurking farmers, Emmett took a step towards me again and brushed his lips against mine before he backed off towards his car.

"See you soon."

I watched as the GTR pulled away a moment later and then followed slowly, a stupid grin on my face which I doubted I would be able to wipe off, whatever Sam and Emily said. Finally I had managed to do the right thing and it felt amazing.


	17. Chapter 17

**As always, thank you to everyone who's reading and all the reviews are much appreciated :o)**

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

******Paul's POV**

I parked up outside the house and charged inside. Ok, I bounced inside, probably grinning like an idiot and trying unsuccessfully not to look like the cat that got the cream. Emily was in the kitchen as usual, doing laundry this time and Sam was doing some paperwork at the breakfast bar. Both looked up at me in surprise.

"Win the lottery or something?" Sam said, eyebrows raised.

"No. Um...well, I have some stuff to tell you."

"Oh, you sorted it out? Well, obviously you did judging by the smile," Emily said at once. Sam glanced at her and his eyebrows rose another notch.

"Yeah, I sorted it. It's kind of a long story though and I'm not sure what you're going to think about it." I parked myself on one of the stools further along the bar from Sam. Shit, now it came to it I wasn't so sure what I was going to say would go down at all well, at least not with Sam. I had no idea what his opinion on gays was; the subject had never come up so far as I could remember.

"Paul's seeing someone," Emily said.

"Back with Jessica again?" asked Sam. "Or a new girl?"

"I was never keen on Jessica," I said. "She wasn't my type." I paused and chewed my lip for a second. "I like guys."

"Seriously? Well, why on earth didn't you tell us before?" Emily cried. "Surely you didn't think we'd have a problem with that? Sam?"

"No...no...of course not," Sam added, looking stunned. "I'm kind of shocked though, you don't seem like the...gay type. Sorry. I don't care, I just...how did you manage to keep that hidden so long?"

"Believe me, it wasn't easy," I said, sagging with relief. "I guess I was pretty sneaky about it. I thought you'd all think badly of me. Quil knew and Leah found out recently. I had someone visiting when you were on vacation and she saw their car outside."

"So you're seeing a guy? Who?" Emily said at once. "Do we know him? Is it one of our guys?"

"Don't be ridiculous, none of our guys are...um...sorry," Sam said, flushing. "It's just going to take a while to stop thinking of you as a ladies man."

I snorted. "I was never that. I was a bastard to the poor chicks."

Emily frowned slightly. "So?" she pressed. "Who is he?"

"Emmett Cullen."

"What the fuck?" exclaimed Sam. "Sorry, Emily. How the hell did that happen? You hate the guy! He broke your nose!"

"Yeah, well that's water under the bridge. I attacked the poor guy first. We just...ran into each other in a bar."

"Wow!" Emily said, her eyes wide. "You've got great taste!" Sam glowered and she giggled. "Don't look like that, babe, I'm allowed to look, especially when the guy's not even going to notice I exist."

I grinned. "So you're not too horrified by this, then?"

"No, just surprised," Sam said. "When are you going to tell the others?"

"I'll get around to it, maybe over the weekend. So long as you two are cool, I don't really care what they think now."

"They'll be fine," Emily said. "If not, Leah and I will kick their butts. So what about Emmett's family? Do they know?"

"All except his Dad, who he's gone to talk to now. None of them care he's gay, they're just not fond of me at the moment." I didn't elaborate on that part, knowing Emily would be pissed at me for my behaviour. "So, is it ok if he comes over?"

"I guess," Sam said. "I always thought the rivalry between us and them was stupid anyway. Maybe getting to know him will let us all move on from that."

"Oh, good, well he's coming over later," I told them.

"In that case, maybe you could call him and tell him to be here by one o'clock," Emily said, going back to her laundry. "He can have lunch with us."

"Thanks, Emily," I beamed. "You too, Sam."

I really hadn't expected it to be that easy. Emily maybe, but somehow I could have imagined Sam going off about fags and not wanting me under his roof any more. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me; not only because Sam and Emily accepted me virtually without question, but because as painful as it had been to pour out all of that stuff to Emmett, sharing it with someone - someone who loved me - made it all seem more bearable. He hadn't walked away from me, even after I told him the worst of it and although love still scared the hell out of me it was an exciting fear and I no longer wanted to run away from it.

I pulled my phone out quickly to text Emmett and tell him to come over for lunch and then hovered around the kitchen getting in Emily's way for the rest of the morning while I checked the clock about every ten minutes, wishing one o'clock would arrive sooner. Emily asked me things about Emmett and his family, which suited me pretty well because I got to talk about him without sounding obsessed. I told her how his parents had been killed and he lived on the streets, falling into Carlisle and Esme's hands after being stabbed and taken to hospital.

"Carlisle's a good doctor," she commented. "He fixed me up once a few years ago when I broke my wrist."

I nodded, wondering how Emmett was getting on talking to his Dad. He worried that the man wouldn't accept him and would be ashamed and I knew exactly how that felt, only the worst was already over for me.

******Emmett's POV**

I drove home slowly, wondering if I should pinch myself. As it was I couldn't get the stupid grin off of my face as I went over and over what had happened with Paul. He said he loved me! Well, he yelled it at me and then mumbled it as if he was learning a foreign language, but I knew he meant it and it filled me with delight. It was only marred by the horror of what he told me and the more of the story I heard, the more I began to understand why he was so reluctant to let himself care for anyone. I couldn't imagine having to deal with even a fraction of what he had been through - his mother committing suicide when he was still in effect a baby, father beating him and blaming him for everything, his brother and hero dying and then Quil too, the only guy he had slept with besides me. The whole thing made me want to drive over to Tacoma, hunt down Mick Lahote and kick the shit out of him. Instead I resolved to be exactly what Paul wanted in his life - somebody who would never let him down.

Edward came out of the house as soon as I pulled up, looking a touch worried until his eyes lit on my face and then he smiled.

"He found you then?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Edward."

"Alice had fits with me after he set off," grinned Edward.

"Where is she?"

"In the rear lounge with Dad. Mom and Jasper just got back from that delivery in Clearwater a few minutes ago too, so no one has had chance to talk yet."

My excitement dwindled slightly as I realised that I was going to be part of the discussion rather than returning when it was all over and I walked slowly into the house with Edward to find Mom making coffee while Jasper raided the cookie jar.

"Emmett! What are you doing back?" she exclaimed.

Jasper looked up at me in surprise, then glanced at Edward and shook his head slightly. A cookie in his hand, he walked over to me.

"You took him back?" he whispered.

"We never broke up," I said in a low voice, backing further away from Mom.

"How can you trust him?" Jasper frowned. "Once a cheater always a..."

"He didn't actually do anything and he told me a lot of things that explained why he's the way he is. I know you and Alice are only concerned about me, but like I said before, you have to let me deal with this myself. I love Paul and I'm not going to walk away from him. What you can help me with is talking to Dad."

"Well, I hope you know what you're doing."

"What are you two whispering about? Come and take some of these mugs. Emmett, you didn't tell me why you came back."

"I sorted things out with Paul, it's going to be fine. We talked about everything."

"Well, I'm sure that's good since you look so much happier."

"Yeah, but I'll feel better still after we talk to Dad," I said, sipping my coffee.

"Talk to Dad about what?" He appeared suddenly in the doorway and I spun around, spilling my coffee onto my shoes and knowing my face was rapidly turning red.

"Damn," I muttered and grabbed a cloth to wipe up the mess. Nobody else spoke and when I straightened up Dad was still staring at me curiously.

"What is it you want to tell me?" he prompted.

"Uh...I...um...I'm..." I stuttered, glancing at Mom for help. He was going to hate it. She just nodded at me and took the mug to wipe the drips from the bottom. "I'm gay," I blurted, not looking directly at his face. "I kept it a secret for years; I suppose I didn't really think it was that important to tell everyone up to now, but I met someone, so..." My voice trailed off. Dad's jaw stiffened, his eyes narrowed and his face registered first shock and then disgust. Edward and Jasper both looked from him to me and then bit their lips at the exact same time. Dad was ashamed of me; I guess I wasn't surprised. I had known it wouldn't be easy.

"Carlisle..." Mom began.

"You knew about this?" he interrupted.

"Only this morning. Emmett is our son, Carlisle, it doesn't make a difference what his preferences are."

"You know what my feelings on...this sort of thing are."

"Well, I don't agree with you," Mom said firmly. "I have always supported you in everything, but in this you're going to have to realise what is most important - our children being confident in our support, not having to hide who they are..."

Dad didn't speak again. He was glaring at Mom - something I had never seen him do - and before she could finish her sentence he turned on his heel without even affording me another cursory glance, walked out of the room and headed down the hallway to his office. The door closed very firmly a moment later.

"Shit," I muttered. "Sorry, Mom."

"He'll come around, Emmett, he's surprised..."

"Horrified, more like," I said. "Did you see his face? He's disgusted with me."

"What did I miss?" Alice appeared in the doorway at that moment and took in all of our expressions. "Oh, you told him?"

"He needs some time," Mom said. "He will get used to the idea; I'll talk to him again later."

"Somehow I don't think he's going to listen," I said miserably, pulling out my phone as it beeped in my pocket. A text from Paul, telling me Sam and Emily were 'cool' and that they wanted me to go over for lunch at one o'clock.

'Awesome, see you soon,' I responded quickly.

"Is that Paul?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. Sam and Emily want me to join them for lunch."

"Wow! Lunch with the family," Alice said. "I still can't believe you just let him off..."

"Alice!" Edward interrupted, hustling her out of the room. Mom barely noticed thankfully. I felt sorry for her, guessing my revelation was going to cause a disagreement between her and Dad and I wondered for a second if maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut. I quickly pushed this thought away, however - I had been living a lie for far too long and now I had Paul I didn't want to have to keep on covering things up, making up fictitious girlfriends to explain my absences, worrying all the time that someone would see us. He said he loved me - that was what was more important to me than anything else. Much as I hated Dad being ashamed of me, I would deal with it.

I headed up to my room now, quickly followed by Jasper who clearly couldn't wait to find out what I was thinking when I abandoned my plans to go to Alaska and accepted whatever Paul told me. I spent a while talking to him although I didn't betray any confidences and he reluctantly agreed that Paul had one more chance to prove himself with him and Alice.

"Well, thanks, Jas," I smirked. "Glad he's got your approval."

"I wouldn't say that exactly, but me and Alice won't kick his butt quite yet," he grinned back.

Edward and Alice came up after a while and the four of us hung out together until it was time for me to go over to Paul's for lunch.

"Don't forget to take flowers, I'm sure Mom won't mind if you pick a few of her roses," Alice said.

"Flowers? What the fuck? Do you seriously think Paul would appreciate flowers?" I scoffed.

"For Emily, doofus," she said. "At least try to make a good impression on his family if you're hoping to become part of it."

"Oh. Right." All of this was new to me, I realised. I had spent all of my adult life longing for a relationship, to go over and hang out with the guy and his family, and now I had the promise of that and I had no clue.

"And put a different shirt on," added Alice, pulling open my wardrobe door. "Let's see...blue!" She took a shirt from its hanger. "If you wear blue it makes your eyes more blue."

"For God's sake, Alice," I muttered, embarrassed. Jasper and Edward both sniggered and I quickly changed the shirt and opened the door.

"Are you going to walk to the Reservation?" Jasper grinned, snatching my keys from the bed table and jangling them. I grabbed them quickly and followed Alice, who was already halfway down the stairs.

"Mom, can we pick a bunch of your roses?" she asked. "Yellow ones? For Emily."

"Of course." Mom smiled at me a little tiredly. "You look very nice, Emmett. Don't worry about Dad, alright?"

"I'm more worried about you," I said. "I don't want you to fight with him over this."

"We won't. You did the right thing telling us, now leave it to us to sort out."

Alice came back in a minute later with a bunch of yellow roses in her hand and busied herself wrapping them expertly in a piece of paper she conjured up from one of the kitchen cupboards. In seconds I had a small bouquet that looked like it had come from a florist and I went out to the car, feeling oddly as if I was on my way to meet Paul's parents. Sam and Emily were probably no more than five or six years older than he was and he was less than a year older than me.

I drove quickly over to Sam's house, feeling ridiculously nervous all of a sudden, and parked in my usual spot down the side of the house. Paul came out before I even got to the door.

"Flowers, Emmett? Please tell me those aren't for me," he smirked.

"I brought them for Emily."

"Trying to make a good impression?"

"Something like that. They're really ok about us?"

"Yeah." He grinned wider. "I wasn't so sure Sam would be, but he's fine. Think his idea is that us two might be the start of our lot and yours getting over the rivalry."

"Shame," I teased. "I almost looked forward to it."

"I'm still going to challenge you to the quarter mile the minute Jake gets my car done; the rest of the parts just arrived," Paul said. "Hey, how was your Dad?"

"Oh, don't ask," I sighed.

"That bad?"

"I think he's pretty horrified to find out one of his sons likes dick," I grimaced. "Mom says he'll get over it, but I'm not so sure. He looked at me like he doesn't even know me and walked off without even wanting to discuss it."

"I'm sorry." Much to my surprise Paul closed the gap between us to give me a hug and I returned it with one arm, holding the flowers at my side to prevent them being crushed.

"Thanks." I brushed my lips against his ear and he backed off and led me into the house.

The afternoon went well. Sam and Emily both shook my hand, Emily cooing delightedly over the roses and standing on tiptoe to give me a kiss on the cheek. She went off into the kitchen to sort out lunch, Sam grabbed beers and we all sat in the lounge, Paul and me carefully avoiding the sofa and parking ourselves in armchairs across from each other. I felt uncomfortable to begin with and he seemed just as awkward, shuffling about and picking at the label on his beer bottle, until Sam asked me something about the GTR and then we were off. Car talk was easy and by the time Emily returned with fried chicken, rice and salad for all of us, I had begun to feel like I almost belonged there. Sam was really cool once you started talking to him and I wondered why in hell my family and his guys had been at each other's throats for so long. It seemed that Bella, the bitch, had been more responsible for it than anyone else, ditching Jacob for Edward and what a waste that had been since she had done virtually the same thing to Edward.

I knew Paul had had an issue with our money for a long time too, but he had apparently long since gotten over that, especially since I'd made it clear I worked and didn't enjoy taking handouts.

Paul then began talking about his ideas for the money Quil left him and it was clear he hadn't said a great deal to Sam and Emily about it up to that point. They seemed surprised and pleased to hear his plans for the future and after that the conversation switched to my work, not that I had anything particularly exciting to tell them. They were interested to hear about Mom's jewellery business, however. It was approaching four o'clock by the time we left together.

Paul had apparently not told Sam and Emily he didn't have a class that day and accompanied me outside to the GTR. I was eager to get my hands on him, but unsure what the plan was for the rest of the day since he had to work.

"Have you anything to do tonight?" he asked, leaning against the house wall. The only windows that side were Paul's bedroom and the bathroom and I stepped closer to him and put my hands on his hips, leaning my lower body forward until it rested against him.

"Plenty, I hope. But you have to work..."

"Yeah, but not for a few hours yet. We could go check into that motel on the edge of town." His hands came to rest on my back and one slid slowly down to my butt. I immediately began to stiffen and felt his body reacting in the same way. I gyrated my hips, rubbing myself against him. He groaned and closed his eyes.

"I could just stay there after while you're at work," I added. "Then I get to wake up with you too."

"You mean you actually plan to get some sleep?" smirked Paul, opening his eyes again and meeting mine.

"We might need it by the time we finish making up for lost time." I slid my hand between us and stroked it over the hard bulge in his pants.

"God, don't, Emmett," he moaned, pushing me away quickly. "I can't wait as it is."

"Let's go." I unlocked the car quickly and slid into the driver's seat, grimacing and adjusting myself as my cock became crushed against my zipper. Paul was in the other seat in a second, reaching out to unfasten my jeans as I began reversing away from the house.

"Shit, Paul," I groaned. "Wait until we get there."

"Another fifteen minutes? Seriously?" He grinned wickedly as he drew my cock out of the opening in my shorts and began to stroke it lightly. I resisted the urge to lift my butt off of the seat and thrust myself harder into his hand, biting my lip and gripping the steering wheel tightly as I drove towards the Forks road. Paul's thumb slowly traced the shape of my head and rubbed over the slit and when I glanced down his fingers were wet with pre-cum. I groaned and forced myself to concentrate on the road, wondering how in hell I was going to drive with him doing that.

"Ok, I'll wait." To my utter disbelief he withdrew his hand and rested it in his lap, idly stroking himself through his pants.

"Don't fucking stop now," I hissed.

"Make your mind up." Chuckling, Paul reached out again and wrapped his hand around my shaft, gripping firmly as he began slowly sliding it up and down. I sighed in relief and eased my foot up on the gas, wondering if I could quickly find a place to pull over. The last thing I wanted to do was smash up the GTR, but I was aching for him to get me off. It hadn't really been that long, but it seemed an age since I felt his hands and mouth on me, his tight muscles around me as I fucked him.

"Oh, Jesus..." I groaned. I was going to make a hell of a mess.

"Pull over," Paul said.

"What?"

"Right now. The car's got dark windows, pull over."

I glanced in the mirrors, establishing there was no traffic behind me, braked quickly and for want of somewhere better, pulled onto the dusty shoulder of the road. Before I had even cut the engine, Paul was leaning down, drawing me into his mouth. I clenched my left hand tighter around the steering wheel, dropping my right onto his head and clutching at his hair as his lips and tongue along with his hand worked me vigorously, making the few minutes I estimated I could last dissolve into less than one. I threw my head back against the seat, shouting out his name as I erupted into his throat, feeling his lips tightening as he sucked the last of my fluid from me.

"Good?" Paul whispered, straightening up.

"Unh..." was about all I could manage to get out of my mouth. My heart was hammering, my breath coming in harsh gasps and I could feel sweat breaking out down my back, sticking my shirt to my skin.

Paul leaned over and his lips touched mine, his tongue snaking out to run along my lower one before darting into my mouth. I returned the kiss for a moment until I couldn't breathe and then pulled my head back, lowering my hand to Paul's thighs. They were parted slightly and I slid my fingers along the inside of one until I reached his balls, but he pushed me off with a groan.

"Come on, let me," I protested.

"I'd rather wait until you're fucking me." The corner of his mouth twitched up into a teasing grin as I drew back. "Shit, I don't have any lube with me."

I grinned at him as I started the engine again. "Check the glovebox. I stashed some in there in case you ever ran out when Sam and Emily were away."

I quickly fastened my pants and steered the car out onto the road while Paul located the lube and shuffled uncomfortably in his seat, adjusting himself several times while I smirked at his very obvious erection doing its best to free itself from his clothing.

It took just under fifteen minutes to reach the motel and I went into the building alone to get a room, then returned to the car and moved it around the back of the building to room number eighteen. I let us into the room and locked the door again, glancing briefly at my wristwatch and noting it was still only five forty-five. Plenty of time before Paul had to go to work. I moved towards him, trapping him between my body and the door and cupping his face in my hands. I was longing to tear his clothes off and drag him down onto the rather saggy looking bed across the room, but more than that I wanted to kiss him, hold him and tell him how much I loved him without worrying that this time he would run away.


	18. Chapter 18

**As always, thank you all for reading and taking the time to review. A little making-up smut for you now - or actually quite a lot of it ;o) Enjoy!**

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

**Paul's POV**

The rest of the journey to the motel was torture for me. I could have had it easy and let Emmett suck me off in the car, but I wanted to make myself wait until we were both naked, his cock plunging into me, pinning me to the bed.

_Fuck._ My pants were crushing me and I kept having to adjust myself as Emmett drove. I knew he had one eye on me and one on the road; he kept smirking each time I shuffled around and tried to move myself into a more comfortable position. I stayed in the car while he organised a room and then mercifully we were unlocking the door and hurrying inside. Emmett grabbed me and pressed me against the door as he closed it, his hands cupping my face. When I met his eyes for a moment my attention was drawn away from my aching cock as I studied the look in them; he didn't have to say anything, it was written all over his face and burning in his blue eyes - the way he felt about me - and it filled me with a delicious warmth that I had thought was something people made up in those shit novels Leah confessed she read.

"I love you so much, Paul." He put the look into words and his lips touched mine gently. I remembered how I had felt the first time he said it - briefly elated and then panicked and unsure of myself. It was such a short time ago, but it seemed like a lot had happened since then - me virtually telling him my life story for instance, after I almost lost him. No chance of that happening now; I would make sure of it.

"I love you too," I said. It didn't feel quite so strange slipping off of my tongue this time and I found myself grinning as we wrapped our arms around each other and kissed awkwardly around our wide smiles. Emmett's lower body pressed harder against mine and reminded me that my cock was craving attention. His tongue suddenly dived into my mouth and his hand slid between us, palming me roughly through my clothes, making me groan as I responded to the kiss. I doubted I was going to last long and decided I should probably let him get me off before we got around to fucking otherwise I wouldn't last a minute. He seemed to read my mind as he backed off a little and rapidly unfastened my pants, shoving them down over my hips and dropping to his knees in front of me.

"Yes..." I hissed, bracing one hand on the wall beside me and curling the fingers of the other into Emmett's hair as he drew me into his mouth, one hand gripping the base of my cock and the other caressing my balls. I watched him, my orgasm building rapidly as he sucked, his cheeks hollowing and his hands moving in time with his mouth. He took his hand off of my balls after a minute and slid two fingers into the corner of his mouth alongside my cock, wetting them before reaching between my legs and feeling for my hole. I spread my legs as far apart as the pants around my knees would allow and whimpered helplessly as his finger circled my entrance and then pushed carefully inside.

"God, Emmett, I'm not gonna last..." I groaned.

His eyes lifted to my face as he took more of me into his mouth, his nose brushing my pubes and I bit my lip, panting as I continued watching. The sight of him below me, looking up at me with his mouth around my cock was unbelievably hot and when he pushed a second finger into me along with the first, stretching me and curling up and forwards to bump my prostrate, I began to buck my hips, fucking his mouth. His mouth and hands moved faster for the brief seconds I had left before I came hard, spilling straight down his throat. His fingers pulled out of me slowly and he slid his lips up my length, pausing around the head to suck the last drops out of me before he let go and stood up.

"Fucking Christ," I gasped.

Emmett grinned and leaned in to brush his lips against mine. Breathless though I was, I slid a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, snaking my tongue into his mouth and tasting the salty bitterness of myself. His tongue toyed with mine in response and I breathed rapidly through my nose, trying to get my breath back, but not wanting to break the kiss. Emmett pulled his lips away from mine and stepped back a moment later.

"I thought you wanted to wait until I was fucking you."

"I wouldn't have lasted even that long. Believe me, I'm not done yet, nowhere near," I panted, kicking my shoes off and shoving my pants down the rest of the way until I could discard them. Emmett moved away from me and began to unbutton his shirt.

We watched each other as we undressed, my cock still half hard as my eyes followed Emmett's hands, pushing the shirt off of his shoulders, unfastening his pants and kicking them off, lowering his shorts and pausing to touch himself. He ran his hand all the way up from his balls to his head, then rubbed himself between finger and thumb. A little pre-cum appeared and he spread it around with his fingers, making the head glisten and my mouth watered. He stopped touching himself after a moment and finished getting rid of his shorts and socks, then removed the condoms from his pants pocket and went to lie on the bed. It looked a little the worse for wear and it sagged further and squeaked in protest under his weight. I grinned as I retrieved the lube from my own pocket and went to join him. The bed was going to make a hell of a noise, even if we didn't. I put the lube on the bed table and lay down, the mattress giving under me and the bed sinking down even further with a louder squeak.

"You think this thing will hold out?" I wondered.

"I'm not sure, but I guess it'll announce to anyone within hearing distance what we're doing." Emmett rolled over and propped himself up, then shifted his body over mine. I slid my legs apart and he settled between them, his cock coming to rest alongside mine and quickly teasing it back to full hardness. He moved himself against me slowly, our cocks rubbing together and our lips touching. I pulled my knees up either side of him and pushed my hips upwards, grinding against him until he pulled away with a groan and reached for one of the condoms.

"I can't wait any longer."

"Good, I want you in me." I grabbed the small bottle of lube and squeezed some out onto my fingers to save time, tucking my hand under myself and coating my entrance before I pushed first one finger and then two into myself, preparing myself for his cock. I glanced up at Emmett who had frozen with the condom in his hand and was simply staring.

"Fuck, that's hot," he muttered. "Keep doing that."

"What; this?" Grinning, I reached deeper inside myself and grasped my cock with the other hand, massaging it slowly and biting my lip to suppress a groan. Odd that I had never touched myself that way. It felt good and I decided to remember that when I was alone at night, thinking about Emmett and getting myself off. I looked at his face, his eyes dark with lust as he watched me; then I dropped my eyes to his erection which was curving up against his stomach, achingly hard and oozing more pre-cum without him even touching it. I withdrew my fingers and took my hand off of myself.

"Stop gawking and get over here," I smirked.

He rolled the condom onto himself quickly and I squirted out more lube, reaching down to slick it onto him as he kneeled between my thighs. He pushed my knees up higher and lined himself up quickly, pushing his head against me until it slid in, then pausing before going any further. I winced at the slight burn and forced myself to relax further, giving Emmett a slight nod to let him know I was ready for more. He slid forward slowly and smoothly, stretching and filling me until his balls brushed me, supporting his weight above me with one arm while he grasped me with his other hand. He began to move, slowly at first, his hand keeping time with his cock. I reached around him, planting my hands on his butt and pulling him tighter into me, pushing myself up to meet each thrust.

"You feel amazing," he gasped. "So hot and tight." He was still going slow, clearly tormenting himself as he gritted his teeth and I grinned up at him.

"Come on, fuck me," I encouraged, pushing his hand off of me. I began to jack myself off as he braced himself with both hands and picked up speed, his cock slamming into me, each thrust pushing me into the saggy mattress and causing the bed to creak and bang noisily against the wall.

"Harder!" I panted. I was close again already and it didn't look like Emmett was going to last much longer. He was gasping for breath, sweat breaking out all over his body and his arms started to shake as he drove both of us rapidly over the edge. His movements became more erratic and I felt the moment he came, his cock jerking inside me as I spilled into my own hand and over my stomach. I felt warm wetness inside me a second before he quickly pulled out, cursing.

"Fuck. It split." He disposed of the torn condom in a tissue and lay down beside me, his chest still heaving from exertion. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, don't worry about it." I turned towards him and kissed him. It hardly mattered - I knew he had only been with a couple guys before and always been safe and I had only been with Quil, when both of us were virgins as well as taking care. I said as much and he smiled.

"Well, maybe we can do it without next time then. I'd love to feel you without a rubber between us."

"Well, you're not going to have long to wait," I smiled. "You can fantasise about it while I'm at work. Shit, I'm going to need a good shower now though, or I'm going to have you dribbling out of me all night at the club."

Emmett laughed loudly. "That sounds dirty as fuck."

"It feels as dirty as fuck." I rolled away from him reluctantly and headed for the bathroom. Emmett was quick to follow and we spent some time in there, washing each other and teasing each other into a state of arousal again, although we didn't take it any further. I didn't want to go to work exhausted and there would be plenty of time later. We dried off, returned to the bed and switched on the TV, resting together and talking while we watched some programme about car racing for a while. It felt good just being together, holding each other and exchanging an occasional idle kiss. Being affectionate had never come naturally to me, but somehow it did now that we had gotten past my fear of getting involved and I relished every minute I lay in his arms.

All too soon I had to start thinking about getting to the club and I drew away from him with a sigh.

"Shit, if I ever felt like not going to work..." I muttered.

"You can pass the time thinking about me, laying here waiting for you," Emmett grinned.

"You're a fucking tease." I started gathering up my clothes from the floor and cursed again as I realised I didn't have any underwear with me - work was the one place I did wear them.

"What?" Emmett looked up at me.

"I do actually wear shorts or something for work, but I kind of rushed out earlier," I told him.

"Wear mine." He pointed to the grey jersey boxers on the floor. "They're clean."

I grinned and grabbed them. "Yeah, like wearing your underwear all night isn't going to make me think about what was in them earlier." I put the shorts on and then finished dressing. "Are you going to get up then and give me a ride to the club?"

"Just take the car," Emmett said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. You said LA's has a private lot."

"Yeah, it does. Thanks." I picked up the key from the table and went over to give him a kiss, intending for it to be a light goodbye peck, but somehow it quickly became deeper and I had to drag myself away from him before I was tempted to call in sick and strip naked again. Things felt so different from what they had such a short time ago. I felt happy and relaxed with him, like I could do or say anything and it would still be right. I headed for the door with a sigh, hoping it would be a busy night so the time would pass quickly.

"Hey." Emmett's voice stopped me before I opened the door and I looked back at him. He was sprawled out in the middle of the bed, his hand wrapped around his half erect cock. "Just something for you to think about while you're bored at work," he grinned.

"You fucker," I growled. "Get some sleep; you're going to need some energy when I get back."

I drove the GTR the short distance to the club and parked up in the lot, relieved to find that only one space was left. Me being the last to arrive, I could most likely get away first without the others noticing the car and asking questions.

The first hour was busy with crowds arriving and filling the club rapidly, but for most of the night they were all well-behaved and I didn't have much to do other than wander about keeping an eye on things. I was glad not to be on the door, knowing that just standing there with one of the other guys, I wouldn't have been able to keep my thoughts off of Emmett. He was still on my mind of course, but walking around the dimly lit dancefloor and bar areas, at least if I thought about him too much and got hard no one would notice. As I kept thinking of how he looked right before I left the motel and remembered I was wearing his underwear, that was becoming a distinct possibility.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and pulled it out in surprise to look at the message.

'Want me to tell you what I'm doing right now?'

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath. "Playing that game, are you?"

I knew it would only torment me, but I couldn't help myself. I imagined him lying there touching himself and I wanted to see.

'Send me a picture.'

I had to wait a couple minutes before the phone buzzed again and I glanced around me furtively, making sure no one was close by before I opened the message. The picture showed a close up of Emmett's hand on his cock, which looked as if it were ready to explode. His body was positioned in such a way that I could see the small puckered hole behind his balls, his legs clearly spread open and I immediately began to get hard as I stared at the picture. Damnit, it was my fault for asking for it. Now as I looked at it I imagined myself there with him, bending over to suck his cock. Maybe I could do the same thing he did to me - slide a finger or two up into him. Would he like that, I wondered? Did he take the picture like that on purpose as a suggestion? My cock twitched impatiently in Emmett's shorts and I closed the picture quickly and glanced at my watch. Five more hours. Jesus.

'You look hot like that and I'm rock hard,' I typed. I put the phone back in my pocket and made another slow circuit of the club while I waited for a reply. I was adding to my own discomfort by encouraging the conversation, but I found it too much fun to pass up. The phone vibrated again and I waited a few more minutes until I was away from most of the crowds before I looked at it.

'What do you want to do to me?'

'I want your cock in my mouth.' I pressed 'send' and then jumped as Terry appeared and spoke to me. I shoved the phone back into my pocket quickly.

"Sorry, what?"

"Nothing. Who are you texting? New girl?"

"No."

"Not sex talk then? You're grinning," he said.

Shit. "Just a stupid joke. Seems quiet tonight," I commented. "Well, not quiet, I mean no trouble."

"Yeah, let's hope it stays that way." He wandered off and I heaved a sigh of relief. I should probably stop fooling around.

It was only another minute before my phone buzzed again. The vibration against my thigh only added to my arousal and I decided to check the message and then tell him I needed to get on with my work.

'I'm close, thinking about you sucking me. Want to see a cum shot?'

"Fuck, Emmett," I muttered. "You're killing me here." I glanced around me. Everyone was busy enjoying their night - no arguments or fights looking likely. I put the phone away for a moment and looked for Terry; he was approaching again from my left.

"Hey, cover for me a few minutes, will you? I'm going upstairs to the bathroom," I said.

"Sure, no problem."

"Won't be long." I left him and headed out of the main club area quickly, hurrying up the stairs to the bathrooms reserved for staff. No one would be in there this early. I pulled the phone out as I went and sent my reply as I locked myself in one of the stalls.

'Show me.'

I unzipped my pants and pulled my cock out of the opening in the shorts while I waited for his text and began to rub myself slowly, feeling amusingly guilty about jacking off at work. I had to wait two or three minutes before my phone buzzed in my hand and when I opened the message it wasn't a photo, but a short video.

I bit my lip to suppress a groan as I watched Emmett's hand working his cock vigorously, quickly lowering the volume on the phone as his moans and gasps came from the speaker. He came after a few seconds, spurting through his fingers and onto his stomach and then the picture froze as the video ended.

"Jesus," I muttered, my own hand moving faster. I put the phone away and grabbed some toilet paper to ensure I didn't make a mess of my work clothes. It didn't take me long and I sighed with relief, quickly flushing away the evidence before I took the phone out to send him one more message before I got back to work.

'I fucking love you.'

I received a final message as I ran back down the stairs to the club and I grinned stupidly as I read it.

'I love you too.'

The rest of my shift passed a little more quickly as a few drunks needed removing and a fight had to be broken up. When I next checked the time it was almost two - only one more hour and it would be over. People were already starting to leave and as the crowd thinned out, Terry came over to chat to me for a while. Eventually it was over and we headed up to the locker room a few minutes after three, followed by Gary and Ray who were on the door.

I changed back into my own clothes rapidly, eager to get back to Emmett, said a quick goodbye to the others and hurried outside to the club's parking lot. In less than ten minutes I was parking the car outside room eighteen at the motel. The door was unlocked and I walked in quietly, closed it after me and stripped off my clothes.

I could see the shape of Emmett lying on the bed in the dim light and hear his soft even breaths as he slept. I didn't want to disturb him, but at the same time I couldn't wait to continue where we left off a few hours before and I climbed onto the bed and slid up against his back. I was already half erect as my body came into contact with his and I put my arm around him, resting my hand on his stomach and stroking lightly. He moaned in his sleep and shifted a little, his cock bumping my wrist. Even in sleep he was hard and I wondered if he was dreaming about me. I lowered my hand and grasped him gently, caressing for a moment before I reached down to cup his balls. My own cock pushed against his butt and I rolled my hips, rubbing myself against the firm flesh. For a moment I wondered what it would feel like to fuck him. I had never considered it before, even tonight when I had thought about using my fingers on him. I pictured myself with Emmett under me, his hands on my hips pulling me into him and I groaned as my cock twitched against his butt. He would probably hate it, or not even want to try.

"Molesting me in my sleep?" Emmett's voice murmured, husky as he woke. Startled, I almost snatched my hand off of him and he covered it with his own and pressed it against the base of his cock. "I was dreaming about you."

"Sorry, did I spoil it?"

"Nah. I'd rather have the real thing." His cock pulsed under my hand and I rubbed myself more firmly against him. I was oozing pre-cum and the head slithered slickly against his skin.

"You were a fucking tease earlier," I said. "That video, Jesus. I jacked off in the bathroom."

Emmett chuckled softly. "Even after what we did earlier, I was so damned horny."

"Feels like you still are." I nipped his ear with my teeth as I squeezed his cock more firmly and ground myself harder against his ass. My cock nestled between his cheeks and again I imagined myself thrusting into him.

"Do you want to fuck me?"

I sucked my breath in and held it for a moment, my heart jumping. He must be a mind reader. My cock quivered against him and I almost groaned.

"Uh...I don't know, I didn't think you'd done it before."

He shifted away from me suddenly and turned over, his eyes glinting in the darkness as they met mine. "I haven't, but that doesn't mean I don't want to try it...with you. I love you and we're together, so why not?" He grasped my cock and ran his hand up and down the length slowly. "Besides, I love your cock; I want to see what it feels like in me."

I shivered with excitement and resisted the urge to thrust myself into his fist. I was so wound up already I doubted I would last long and the idea of what I had just been imagining actually happening wasn't helping matters. I pushed his hand off of me and rolled him onto his back, hoping I wouldn't fuck it up or hurt him. This was going to be a first for both of us.

**Anybody frustrated with me for leaving it there? Well, as one of you said, this pair are such horn dogs that they can't manage to cram it all into one chapter ;o) **


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last one and to all of you who are simply reading and enjoying :o)**

CHAPTER NINETEEN

******Paul's POV**

Emmett took his hand off of me and slid it around to the back of my neck, pulling me down for another kiss. My cock jabbed him in the hip and I ignored it as our lips met, wanting to concentrate on him rather than myself and let my impending orgasm subside considerably before I even attempted fucking him otherwise it would be over before it started.

I couldn't ever remember being quite this nervous during sex, but at least I had the advantage of knowing what it felt like, so I could at least do my best to avoid hurting him and make sure he got something out of it. I removed my mouth from his and trailed the tip of my tongue down the side of his neck and over his collarbone, then on over his bulging pecs until I reached a nipple. I circled my tongue around it and then bit gently, wondering what the reaction to that would be. I knew what I liked; would he be the same?

His breath hissed in through his teeth and the nub stiffened under my tongue. Glancing down I noticed his cock twitching, untouched, against his stomach and my mouth watered. A small bead of pre-cum glistened in the slit and I was eager to taste it. Rather than head straight down there I turned my attention to the other nipple until Emmett let out a sound that sounded suspiciously like a whimper before he bit his lip and silenced it. It made me wonder why I hadn't made more effort before, but in all fairness both of us were usually in too much of a rush for much foreplay. I smirked to myself as my lips and tongue took a path down the centre of his chest, over the hard abs and into the narrow line of hair that led to his cock. I wasn't in a rush now, although Emmett clearly was. His cock bumped my cheek and quivered there for a moment before I moved out of the way.

"God, Paul," Emmett moaned, lifting his hand to touch himself. He wrapped his fingers around himself and I watched for a few seconds as he squeezed and rubbed before I pushed his hand away and pinned it to the mattress.

"Keep your hands off," I grinned.

"Fuck," he muttered. I watched his fingers curl into fists either side of him and then shifted my position until I was kneeling between his thighs. I slid my hands under the backs of his knees and pulled them up, then stroked my fingers down the backs of them to his butt, then up the outside of his thighs. By the time I had run them down the inside of his legs to his balls, his cock was rearing up from his belly, leaking a little more fluid.

"Paul, ___please!"_he groaned.

"Stop being so damned impatient." He had his eyes closed I noticed, his teeth making an indentation in his lower lip as he chewed at it, his chest rising and falling rapidly. I ducked my head and teased the base of his cock with my tongue, sweeping it upwards towards the head which I captured in my mouth. Emmett's hips came up off of the bed in an attempt to thrust himself into my throat and I quickly pushed him down again.

"God, you're killing me," he said through his teeth.

I let his cock pop out of my mouth and straightened up again. "Now you know how I felt walking around at work after you sent me that picture."

"At least you got to go and jack off in the bathroom."

"You can go jack off in the bathroom if you want," I grinned, taking my hands off him completely.

"You're a cruel fucker, you know that?"

"Yeah, but you love me." Chuckling, I leaned over to the bedtable and grabbed the lube, quickly squeezing some onto my fingers and into the palm of my other hand. Emmett opened his eyes and propped himself up slightly on his elbows so that he could see what I was doing. I stroked my slick palm up the length of his shaft, wrapped my fingers around it and pumped it slowly, spreading the lube around until it slipped easily up and down in my fist. Emmett thrust himself eagerly into my hand and I reached down with the other hand, stroking my slick fingers between his legs, feeling for the tight puckered hole there and pressing gently against it with the tip of one digit. After a moment my finger slid in about an inch and Emmett gasped and twitched in my hand, his head dropping back onto the pillow again. I paused and watched his face before pushing deeper, my own cock pulsing at the feel of his tight heat. I could only imagine what it would feel like when I was inside him and I did my best to suppress my eagerness and take my time. I worked my finger in and out slowly and then tentatively added a second. Emmett shuddered and his brows drew together in a frown although his cock continued to throb eagerly in my hand.

"Shall I stop?" I wondered. I could remember the first time Quil did it to me and it hurt like hell; I had gritted my teeth and refused to let on, telling myself to man up and feeling curiously turned on by the uncomfortable invasion. He hadn't known what he was doing of course - neither of us had - so he hadn't taken a great deal of care.

"No, just give me a minute." He breathed deep and relaxed more, the tight muscle around my fingers loosening a tiny bit. I began to move them again, carefully reaching deeper until I found the spot that always drove me wild when he touched it. He groaned and pushed himself more eagerly downwards, the sounds now of pleasure as I continued the movement, scissoring my fingers gradually at the same time to stretch him.

"Woah, stop!" Emmett hissed at that moment. I thought the protest was of discomfort until he spoke again. "I'm not gonna last, come on and fuck me."

"You sure you're ready?" I grunted.

"Yeah, just go slow."

I took my hands off him and grabbed the lube again. Going slow would be quite a task now, aching as I was. I applied a generous amount of the lube to my cock and more to Emmett before I lowered myself onto him and carefully guided my head to his entrance. I pushed gently against him and just as I began to enter, he tensed up and pushed me out.

"Sorry." He laughed awkwardly and opened his eyes. "Try again."

I repositioned myself and this time slid in an inch or two before I held still. His eyes held mine and he flinched slightly, but slid his hands down to my butt to stop me pulling away.

"Keep going."

I kept moving until I bottomed out inside him and then I had to stop for myself just as much as him. He was so hot and tight, his muscles gripping every inch of me and squeezing deliciously. I almost came while I just held myself there, but I managed to stop it momentarily. When I began to move again, Emmett moved with me, his eyes still locked on mine.

"Fuck," I gasped after another minute or two. "You're so tight. I'm not going to last."

"Come then." He thrust himself upwards against me, his hands squeezing my butt and pulling me in deeper. My orgasm rolled through me and I spurted into him, draining myself and collapsing slowly onto his body until I felt his cock twitching against my belly and remembered I had left him behind. I propped myself up a little, staying inside him as I slid one hand between us and grasped him, pumping him vigorously for the brief few seconds it took for him to finish. When I drew away from him I picked up his shorts and used them to clean myself up before passing them to him.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah," he smirked.

"I told you it'd be over before it started."

"You didn't see me my first time," he smiled. "So...are we going to take turns or something in the future, or what?"

"I guess that depends on you," I mused. I had loved the feel of my cock in him, but not half as much as I liked him doing it to me. There was something about having him pounding me into the mattress that drove me crazy. "But I've got to say, I prefer it with you fucking me."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I'm normally in control of everything, but with sex...I don't know, I like you taking charge."

"Well, I'm not going to complain. We'll just make this an occasional thing." Emmett sat up and leaned over to give me a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too." I made to deepen it but he pulled away.

"I need a fucking shower," he grimaced.

"Well, you should think yourself lucky I already came three times tonight before that," I sniggered. "I'll join you."

We shared the shower, taking our time washing each other, for once too exhausted to become aroused even when we soaped each other intimately. Eventually we collapsed back into the saggy old bed in a tangle of limbs and quickly fell asleep.

When I woke it was bright daylight and for a moment I couldn't remember where I was or even what day it was. I squinted around the room and looked at Emmett sprawling face down beside me and then remembered it was Saturday and my day off. I had been lucky with weekends lately. I leaned over and kissed Emmett's ear and he didn't even stir. I slid off the bed, went to use the bathroom and then dressed quickly, deciding to go out hunting for breakfast and bring some back to the motel. Emmett was still sound asleep when I slipped out of the room and I set off on foot, remembering there was a diner across the street.

I ordered an assortment of bagels stuffed with cheese, bacon, egg and tomatoes, a huge stack of pancakes in a box with a sealed pot of maple syrup and large paper cups of coffee, remembering to grab a couple disposable forks for the pancakes before I returned to the room. Emmett was in the bathroom and I sat down on the bed and opened one of the coffees.

"I got breakfast!"

"Awesome, I'm starving." Emmett came to join me and we ate quickly, then checked out and began to head back to La Push. Emmett was going to drop me at Sam's and then go home for a while. I had already told him I intended to talk to the rest of my friends and tell them about us and he wanted to spend some time with his family and see if his father would come around, even a little bit.

"He's probably not going to be that impressed that I've been out all night again, now he knows what I'm up to," he sighed.

"I hope he comes round," I said. It no longer seemed awkward or unlike me to reach out and slip my hand into his as he drove, squeezing it and lacing our fingers together. He glanced at me and smiled.

All too soon we pulled up outside Sam's, kissed goodbye in the car and then I got out and watched him drive away. When I went into the house I found Leah there having coffee with Emily.

"Hey, Leah."

"Good night?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow and grinning.

"Hmm." I flushed and smirked.

"Are you going to tell the others?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about doing that today. Are they going over to Jake's later? I was going to ask him about tuning the Skyline anyway."

"Most of them are over there now, Seth and I left together and he went straight there."

I left the girls talking and went to my room to get a change of clothes, then Leah and I took the Skyline over to Jacob's garage. He was making coffees for the guys who were already lounging about gossiping - Embry, Seth, Jared and Kim. Kim seemed to be glowing, I noticed and Jared was fawning over like a lovesick fool. Clearly they had both gotten used to her being pregnant now and were excited about it.

"Hey, Paul; Leah." Embry was the first to notice us.

"Haven't seen you in a while," Seth added. "Where've you been?"

"Um...just busy." I glanced at Leah and she grinned. I decided to just get it over with. I was only going to work myself up thinking about it if I waited. "Guys, I have something to tell you."

Jacob finished handing out the mugs of coffee and gestured to me with an empty mug. I shook my head.

"So, what's the news?" Embry prompted. "You actually look happy about something."

"Not so sure you lot will be when I'm done," I grunted nervously. It had been fine with Leah, she just guessed. I'd always thought Emily would be cool even if Sam wasn't - she would probably have supported me if I told her I'd murdered someone's cat. But these guys...I wondered if it would have been better to get them alone one at a time rather than blurt it out to the whole group. I would have been willing to bet Jared would say something derogatory at the very least. I got the feeling he wasn't quite so accepting as the others might be.

"Well, come on then, out with it. We're dying of curiosity here," Jacob said.

"Shut up," Leah said. "He's getting to it."

Jacob and Seth both glanced at her in surprise.

"Do you know something?" Seth asked. Leah just nodded.

"I'm not quite the guy you think I am," I said awkwardly, licking my dry lips. "Jess, the other girls...I was never really into them, I just went along with it to keep you guys off my back. I'm gay."

A few mouths dropped open and Leah smiled encouragingly.

"What?" Kim gasped. "Did Jess know?"

"No, of course she didn't know. I was a good actor." I grimaced and waited to see what the others would say. Embry was grinning, I noticed.

"I always thought there was something I couldn't quite put my finger on," he said. "I don't know, somehow it doesn't surprise me. Did Quil know?"

"Yes," I nodded.

Embry nodded too. "You two always seemed like you had some big secret between you. You could have told us before, you know, it's hardly a big deal, is it? At least you can be yourself now, right? Must be shit having to act like that and worry someone's going to find out."

"Yeah," I said in relief. "Thanks, Em."

"I never would have guessed," Jacob said and smiled. "I'm cool."

"Me too," Jared nodded which surprised me a little. "You're a jerk, though, Paul, living a lie for so long. It must have been shit."

I nodded and then glanced at Seth, realising he was the only one who hadn't said anything. His face was red and his eyes shocked.

"Seth?" Leah prompted, looking surprised by his expression.

"I'm not fucking cool," he muttered, more as if he were talking to himself than the rest of us. "You all think it's cool one of our friends turns out to be a fag after what, five years? And you just accept he's been lying to us all this time?"

"Seth!" Leah gasped. "What's wrong with you?"

"Maybe I don't like being lied to by somebody I looked up to. Maybe I don't think it's cool that he's probably been gawking at us all!" Much to everyone's astonishment, he turned and began to march out of the garage. Even his ears and the back of his neck were red.

"Don't worry, Seth, you're not my fucking type!" I bellowed after him. I wasn't mad at the kid, but certainly shocked. He was the last person I would have expected to react like that. He was a gentle soul, full of fun and everybody's best friend.

"Paul, don't," Jacob frowned. "He probably needs time to get used to it."

"I'm sorry, Paul," Leah said. "I'm going after him."

"It's ok," I muttered as she ran after her brother. "Well, that went well," I said to the others.

"Four out of five isn't bad, Paul, come on," Embry teased. "Seth'll get over it. So have you more to tell us? I mean, you're not going to just tell us you're gay, right? There must be a reason why you suddenly decided to do it now. Are you seeing someone?"

"Yeah." I grinned from ear to ear, unable to help myself as I immediately pictured Emmett.

"Jeez, Paul, are you in love or what?" Jacob said.

"Yeah," I snorted, feeling like a stupid giggling kid in love for the first time. I guess the latter part of that was true, but I was hardly a kid any more.

"Aww." This came from Kim.

"Well, come on then, who is he?" prompted Embry. "Does Leah know?"

"Yes."

"Did Quil?"

"No, I only started seeing the guy after..."

"Do we know him?" Jared prompted.

"Um...yeah, you do." Fuck. They were going to hate it. I bit my lip and hesitated.

"Well, don't keep us in suspense. You sound more worried about telling us who the guy is than telling us you're gay. It's not one of the fucking Cullens, is it?" Jared teased.

"Why would you say that?" I could feel myself flushing and my heart sank as I waited for him to answer. Of course they were going to hate me being with Emmett. Why would they suddenly accept that after the amount of time we had spent fighting with them?

"I was just joking."

"Which one is it?" Jacob asked quietly, raising an eyebrow. "Jasper?"

The others glanced at Jacob in surprise and then back at me.

"No," I said. "Emmett."

"Fuck me!" Jared exclaimed. "You and Emmett? Since when has he been into guys? I thought he was with Rosalie before she died?"

"He only ever saw her as a sister," I said. "She didn't know he was gay. She was obsessed with him, though, made a nuisance of herself. I'm guessing the fact she kept telling you she was with him was wishful thinking."

"Wow," Kim said and giggled suddenly. "At least you got the fit one. The other two are wet looking, I'll never know what Bella saw in Edward."

I snorted with laughter and Jared pushed Kim gently and pretended to scowl.

"So...you guys are all ok with this then?" I asked.

"Of course we are," Embry said at once. "Jerk. I'm not so sure about your taste, but who am I to judge? I guess he must be a decent guy for you to want him."

"Yeah," Jacob nodded. "Nice wheels too. So are you going to bring him over to hang out sometime? I suppose we ought to try to mend some bridges. The thing with me and Bella didn't help all this shit between us and them."

"She dumped Edward," I said. "I don't know if you know. Cheated on him."

Jacob shook his head. "No, I didn't know. Bitch. I guess I have something in common with him, then. Get Emmett to come over, we can all work on your car. I'm guessing that's why you drove over here rather than walk for two minutes."

I grinned. "Yes, I got the money for the tune up now. I'll call Emmett later and ask him to join us. Thanks, guys."

It had actually gone a dozen times better than I had expected. All of them accepted the real me and as we hung out for the next couple hours until Jared and Kim left to get some lunch, they all asked me about Emmett and his family and agreed that they should make efforts to get to know the Cullens, not only for my sake, but to put all the stupid fighting firmly into the past.

The only thing that was bugging me was Seth's reaction and I went over and over it in my head. It just didn't feel right that he would have a problem with me being gay. Seth never had a problem with anyone unless they hurt one of his friends. I could maybe understand him being angry that I had kept such a big secret for so long, but I still thought his behaviour had been over the top.

I left the others a little later and went home, texting Emmett to ask him to come over when he was ready. Jacob planned to start work on the Skyline and I promised to come back with Emmett and help out. By the time I had told Sam and Emily about the reaction of the others to my news, Emmett was at the door and we went to sit in the yard at the picnic table to talk, taking advantage of the rare nice weather. As we sat there talking and holding hands across the table, not giving a shit if Sam or Emily looked out the window and saw us, my cellphone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket, seeing Leah's number on the screen. I hadn't yet got around to telling Emmett about everyone's reaction as he had been telling me about how his father wouldn't even look at him, let alone discuss things with him.

Leah asked if she could see me and talk to me about Seth and I asked her to come over, telling her that Emmett was with me. She agreed at once and hung up before I could say anything else and she arrived within minutes in her car. She stuck her head in the kitchen door and yelled hello to Sam and Emily before joining us at the table.

"Hey, Emmett," she said with a grin. "So you and Paul? Hot."

"Leah!" I hissed. She just smirked.

"Leah Clearwater," Emmett smiled back. "So you didn't like your girlie experiment much, then."

"Oh, God," I groaned.

"You told him ___that?" _Leah glowered at me. "That's the last time I'm telling you anything, big mouth." She punched me none too gently in the arm and smiled again. "So...I talked to Seth."

Emmett raised his eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, I didn't have chance to tell you. Seth was the only one who wasn't cool about what I told them earlier. He went off on one and left," I explained.

Leah flushed slightly. "He's really sorry about that. I told him he should talk to you himself, but he's...intimidated, I guess."

"By me?" I smirked.

"Paul, come on. You've decked people for a lot less."

"Yeah, ok. So what's his problem?"

"He's gay," Leah said and I felt my mouth drop open.

"Well, why the hell...?"

"He's scared and confused. He's always had girlfriends, but something happened recently that changed everything. He and his friend Collin fooled around after a few drinks; he didn't go into much detail, which I don't suppose he would do with his sister, but it sounds like it got quite heavy. Collin's out and his family are cool with it. He thought it meant they could be together and he called Seth the next day and asked him on a date. This was a week ago. Seth freaked out; he never really thought about guys before, or so he says and he thinks Mom would be disappointed and that all of you guys would hate it. Even seeing their reaction to your news didn't make him feel any better. He just panicked and thought if he supported you he'd give himself away."

"Aww, shit," I sighed. "Poor kid."

"Isn't he, like, twenty-something?" Emmett asked in surprise.

"Yeah, twenty-one, but we've always seen him as our little kid brother," I said.

"Will you talk to him, Paul?" Leah asked me. "I mean, tell him it's ok, that you're not mad at him for his reaction."

"Yeah, sure," I said at once.

"And maybe you could...I don't know, talk to him about you or something. Help him try and figure things out."

"Aww, Leah, I'm not a counseller," I groaned. "I've been too fucked up myself to be a help to anyone else."

"But not so much now, though, right?" She glanced from me to Emmett and back again. "Sickening as this is, it's obvious you two are in love..."

"Well, fuck, Leah, it's a good thing we already covered that or we'd both be dying right now," I grimaced. "Now who's the one with a big mouth?"

She just grinned. "I'm not taking the piss, honestly, I'm happy you found somebody, Paul. Please, just chat to Seth. There isn't anyone else. If he can talk to someone who's been through the same thing maybe it'll help him feel better."

"We can do that," Emmett said at once, grasping my hand in his and squeezing it. I nodded after a moment.

"Thanks, Emmett," Leah said. "You know, you're not bad for a Cullen." She got up from the table and headed back to her car. "Give Seth a call, yeah?" she shouted over her shoulder and quickly disappeared.


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing, it means a lot. More lemons ahead, people, the boys just can't seem to get enough ;o)**

**LuvnmyEdward - thanks for your message, I appreciate it, but don't worry, it won't be necessary to give any warnings. Glad you're still enjoying the story :o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY

**Emmett's POV**

Paul and I walked over to Jacob's garage right after Leah left. I had thought it would have been better to call Seth straight away, but Paul wanted to get some work in on his car first. Jacob and one of the other guys had their heads under the Skyline's hood when we arrived. They both straightened up and turned at our approach and I recognised the other one as Embry. He and Alice had a bit of a thing once, but she got tired of him pretty quick. He seemed like a nice enough guy from what I remembered, maybe a bit soft. I hadn't really got to know him though.

Paul gave brief and casual introductions and I shook hands with both of them. They seemed welcoming enough, Jacob's bright smile reaching his eyes although Embry was a little more reserved. Paul and I began to help with the car and after perhaps fifteen minutes Embry left us to it. The three of us worked and chatted for a couple hours and then we stopped for a break. Jacob opened up the small refrigerator in the corner of the workshop and pulled out some bottles of coke. I accepted one gladly and Paul took the opportunity to call Seth.

"Hey, kid," he began and I frowned slightly as he clearly interrupted whatever Seth had to say. "Save it, just get your butt over to Sam's in an hour or so. No, I'm at Jake's. Don't sweat it, I don't bite; anyway Emmett'll restrain me if necessary. See you." He slid the phone back into his pocket.

"Way to reassure the kid," I said. "Can't you find a little sympathy in yourself anywhere?"

"What? I'm sympathetic."

"You are not." I gave him a hard shove and he spilled his coke.

"You fucker." He put the bottle down and launched himself at me. Somehow we were wrestling and pummelling each other, staggering around until we tripped over a tool box and landed in a heap on the dirty ground, panting and laughing. I forgot Jacob was there as I grabbed a fistful of Paul's shirt and pulled him closer. Our lips crashed against each other's and then we quickly jerked apart at the sound of a loud cough.

"Guys...I really didn't need to see that."

I pushed Paul off me and scrambled to my feet, brushing dust off of my clothes. Jacob looked uncomfortable, but amused at the same time. Paul hauled himself up, looking rather shame-faced and grabbed a wrench. I snorted quietly and turned it into a cough.

"So, what's with Seth?" asked Jacob. "I'm guessing that's about how he reacted earlier."

"Yeah, he's just going to come over and grovel or something," Paul said casually, much to my relief. He wasn't the most tactful of people, I was beginning to realise and it wouldn't have surprised me if he had blurted out what Leah had told us.

"Well, go easy on him, Paul," Jacob said and stuck his head back under the car's hood.

An hour later we walked back to Sam's and discovered he and Emily getting ready to go out.

"I was just going to write you a note," Emily said. "We're going to Port Angeles for a meal and to see a show."

I noticed Sam grimace behind her back and guessed he wasn't keen on whatever they were going to see, but was going to the show to make her happy.

"Help yourselves to food, the refrigerator's full," Emily added and they headed out moments later.

Paul opened the fridge immediately and took some beers out, handing one to me and then we went out the back to sit at the picnic table again. It was probably the first day in a month where there hadn't been a drop of rain. Seth arrived not long after, making his way slowly around the corner of the house to us and looking awkward and embarrassed.

"Hey," he said, barely above a whisper.

"Hey, Seth. You haven't met Emmett properly, have you?" Paul said.

"No. Good to meet you." Seth leaned across the table to shake my hand and I smiled and nodded at him before he sank down on the bench opposite us and studied one of the knots in the wood with interest.

"Um...Paul, I'm really sorry about what I said, it was stupid."

"I was kind of surprised," Paul said. "That day Jared said something about fags you seemed pissed at him."

"I was; my best friend is gay and I thought most of you knew that, Jared certainly did. But I hadn't done anything with Collin then either. When you said you're gay I was convinced if I said it was cool everyone would look at me and guess. I'm not a coward, but I felt like one then, I was kicking myself the whole way home. I'm really sorry," he said again.

"Don't worry about it, Seth," Paul said easily. "But you saw how they all reacted to my news. No one will care if you tell them."

"Well, that's just it, I don't know if there's anything to tell." He sighed heavily. "I guess I'm just confused about it all. Me and Collin had too many beers and did some...stuff." He flushed vividly and his eyes darted about. I felt sorry for him and Paul's next question didn't help him feel any better.

"You mean you fucked?" he asked baldly and I tutted and elbowed him.

"No!" Seth exclaimed, his face flaming.

"Ignore him," I said to Seth. "It doesn't matter what you did, we don't need details." I dug my elbow into Paul's ribs again for emphasis. "What matters is how you feel about it."

"Stop fucking jabbing me," Paul muttered, shooting me an evil look and grinning at the same time. I grasped his hand, wondering if he would pull away, but he squeezed mine in return. Seth's eyes lifted and slid from Paul to me and then to our joined hands.

"You two are really into each other," he observed.

"Yeah," I grinned.

"So how did you end up getting together?"

"It's not important."

"I'm curious."

"And you'll be uncomfortable if you hear the details," I said firmly. "Let's just say we hooked up in a bar."

Paul smirked and pulled his hand free, lowering it under the table and resting it on my thigh instead. "That's one way of putting it."

A vision of him kneeling at my feet in the bathroom stall with my cock in his mouth filled my head and I pushed it away determinedly and cleared my throat.

"Stop it. So, Seth, this guy Collin's your friend, right?" I asked him. He had already said he was, but I wanted to get him talking about himself. It didn't look like Paul was going to be much help so it fell to me to encourage him.

"Yeah, we grew up together," Seth began. "I've known he's gay since we were about fourteen, but nothing ever happened before. About two years later he got a boyfriend and I started dating girls. I always thought I loved girls, but I don't know any more. Somehow I never really felt at ease with them when I think about it. I never know what to talk about and when we make out and stuff, it's like I'm acting out a role, being somebody else to please them. With Collin, it wasn't like that. I didn't even know if he was interested in me, I drank too much and I was just curious. I kissed him."

"Wow, you started this?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, I started it and then I thought I probably shouldn't have, but he was really into it too." His face turned red again and he glanced at Paul. "We got each other off, if you must know."

Paul just quirked an eyebrow, but didn't speak. His hand slipped higher up my thigh and squeezed. I covered it with my own hand and pushed it back towards my knee. I didn't want to sit there with a boner trying to have a conversation with Seth.

"Collin said he'd liked me for ages, but hadn't done anything about it because he thought I wouldn't appreciate it and that it would spoil our friendship. Then he went home and he called me the next day and asked me on a date. I was sober by then and I'd been up all night freaking out about what I did and I told him..." Seth closed his eyes and groaned. "I told him he took advantage of me when I was drunk and I wanted him to stay away from me."

"You just said that because you're confused?" I said.

"Yeah. I feel like shit now. I didn't mean what I said to him. I _liked _it, I want to see him, but more than that I don't want our friendship to be fucked up because of it. He sent me a few texts apologising and I didn't answer, I didn't know what to say to him. I haven't heard from him in four days. I don't even know if he'll want to talk to me now. I guess I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm like, twenty-one, for God's sake, I'm not a kid. Wouldn't I have started feeling like this years ago if it was going to happen to me?"

"Not necessarily," said Paul, to my surprise. "Everyone's different. Maybe you just weren't ready for it. Maybe it's just always been there and you never realised. Or maybe you've been curious longer than you're saying because you didn't want to admit it to yourself? It doesn't matter one way or the other, if it's what you want now then don't fight yourself over it."

Seth blushed again and picked at a fingernail. "Yeah, maybe. I guess I've wondered for a while. What it's like with a guy, I mean." He sighed heavily. "What am I gonna do now?"

"Call the guy - Collin. Tell him what you told us," I said. "Yeah, maybe there'll be some red faces, but you have to get past that. He's going to know how you feel, he's been there. He's probably just as worried that he lost his best friend over it. Just be honest. If he's any kind of decent guy he's not going to kick you in the teeth for being afraid or confused. Even if nothing else happens, at least you're not going to lose his friendship and you might actually decide you do want to be with him."

"Thanks." Seth smiled at last. "You don't think I'm a complete jerk, do you?"

"You've always been a jerk, but not over this," Paul grinned. "I've been there too, you know. You were pretty young, but you probably remember the number of girls I used to date and then ditch. I always knew I was gay, although I never did anything about it until I was seventeen and I wouldn't have then if it wasn't for my own best friend."

Seth's eyes widened. "Quil?"

"Yeah. He wouldn't mind me telling you. We were together for about a month and then we decided we just wanted to be friends. He wasn't really into guys in the end. But we talked to each other and got past anything that was awkward. So do the same with Collin."

"Did you sleep with him?" Seth asked.

"Yes."

"Well, shit!" The boy grinned. "Funny how you think you know somebody and then they turn out to be totally different."

"Yeah, that's what I thought when you went off about me probably gawking at the lot of you," Paul chuckled.

"Huh?" I glanced at him, but he just grinned and shook his head.

"I'm really sorry," Seth said again. "That was a stupid thing to say. You've both been really cool. I wanted to strangle Leah when she said she asked you to talk to me, but it's helped."

"Awesome," I said. "So are you going to call Collin now?"

"Yeah, before I lose my nerve." Seth got up from the table, pulled his phone out and walked a few feet away. We both sat pretending not to listen and straining our ears to hear his side of the conversation.

"Hey, Collin...it's Seth. I'm really sorry about last week. No, I didn't mean it. Please can we meet up and talk? Cool, I'll be there soon. Bye." He hung up, grinning and turned back towards us. "I'm going over to see him, he's home alone."

"Yeah, we got that," I smiled.

"Seth, be safe, ok?" Paul said darkly and then grinned.

"Fuck off!" the younger guy exclaimed. "I'm just going to talk to him. Besides, I hardly need 'the talk', I got that from Dad and Jacob and my teachers, like five or six years ago."

"I highly doubt they told you about doing it with a guy."

"Paul, shut up," I said again and looked up at Seth. "Good luck."

Paul got up from the table a minute later, finished his beer and threw the bottle in the trash before fetching a couple more from the house. We stayed chatting at the table for a while longer and then Paul gathered up the remaining empty bottles and went to dispose of them.

I got to my feet, remembering the scuffle in Jacob's garage over the spilled coke. No one was around to observe now and I couldn't help thinking that wrestling with him would be fun, not to mention hot. I walked up behind him and grabbed him before he could turn around, my arm around his neck, not high enough to choke him, but tight so that he couldn't get out of it. I remembered that he was doing jujitsu three or four times a week just as he gripped my arm with both hands, shoved one leg backwards and stooped and I found myself sailing over his head, the ground rushing up to meet me at an alarming rate.

"Fuck!" I gasped as my back hit the ground, mercifully cushioned by thick grass. Paul was still gripping my wrist and I looked up at him, smirking down at me. "You bastard."

He laughed and let go of me, straightening up. Well, it was me who had wanted to wrestle and I swung my leg out as he stepped back, tripping him. He didn't fall flat, but stumbled and then landed on his ass. Before he could get back up, I rolled over onto my hands and knees and grabbed him again, shoving his shoulders down onto the lawn and pinning him there while I worked my knees in between his thighs.

"What are you gonna do now?" I smirked.

"Well, I guess I could headbutt you, break your nose...I do owe you one. But I want you to give in, not bleed all over me."

His hand reached down between us and slid between my legs, squeezing my rapidly stiffening cock through my jeans.

"Mmm, that'll work." I released his shoulders and rested my elbows in the grass either side of him, lowering my body onto his before I dropped my head to kiss him. He turned his head away, brought both hands up to grip my neck and hooked his feet around my legs. In a moment I found myself flipped onto my back with him straddling me and chortling triumphantly.

"You didn't really think I'd be that easy, did you?" he grinned.

I put my hands on his thighs and stroked them over the firm flesh, noticing from the bulge in his jeans that he was just as turned on as I was.

"You're going to have to teach me some of these moves," I said. "I could kick your butt at kickboxing, but this...maybe not."

Paul just laughed. "You challenging me to a kickboxing match?"

"Not right now." I pushed myself up from the ground and slid my arms around him, my cock straining against my pants beneath him. "Jesus," I groaned.

"We got the house to ourselves," Paul reminded me.

"I want to fuck you like this," I said. "Riding me."

I grasped the hem of his shirt and pulled it up and he raised his arms so I could remove it completely. I tossed it somewhere to the left of us and he quickly removed my shirt too. I put my hands on his back as he bent his head towards mine and our parted lips met, tongues immediately beginning to toy with each other. I moaned into his mouth, sliding my hands down to his butt and grinding him harder against me.

"I was right, all that muscle together does look pretty hot. I would do it indoors though, if you don't want to upset the neighbours."

"What the fuck?" Paul leaped off me and scrambled to his feet, shoving his hands into his pockets at the sound of Leah's voice. I grabbed my shirt and dropped it on my lap to cover my obvious excitement, feeling my face heating up.

Leah laughed raucously. "Sorry, did I spoil the party?"

"Jeez, Leah, what do you want?" Paul growled.

"I wanted to see how you got on talking to my little bro. I haven't heard from him and he hasn't been home."

"Uh..." Paul pulled his hands out of his pockets again and rescued his shirt. I guessed his erection had subsided pretty quickly after the intrusion; mine certainly had and I pulled my shirt on and got to my feet.

"He's fine, he went to talk to Collin," I said.

"Oh, really?" Leah switched her attention to me.

"Yeah, apparently he's been curious for a while; I guess a few beers loosened him up enough to try something, but he panicked about it after. I don't know how it'll go, but at least they're going to talk about it so hopefully their friendship will stay intact if nothing else."

"Awesome," said Leah. "Thanks, guys. You know, if he does decide he likes Collin, Mom's not going to care, so long as he's happy."

"You're lucky," I said wistfully.

"Emmett's Dad isn't impressed," Paul put in.

"He's pretty hard to impress as it is," I said. "He's horrified to find out I'm not going to give him any grandchildren."

"Hope he comes round," Leah said. "What about the rest of your family?"

"They're all cool," I told her.

"At least you don't need to sneak around any more then. Look, I'll leave you to it. Sorry for the interruption." She smirked at me first and then Paul before turning away and walking off.

"Damnit," Paul muttered.

"Don't worry about it, she didn't really see anything." I moved closer behind him and rested my hands on his shoulders, squeezing the tense muscles.

"Yeah, I know, I guess it'll just take me a while to feel comfortable about everybody knowing, even Leah." He leaned back against me and I slid my arms around him and kissed his ear.

"Let's go inside."

"Yeah."

Paul drew away from me again and headed into the house and straight to his room. I followed quickly and closed the door behind me. He was already removing his shirt again, dropping it on the floor before unfastening his jeans. I quickly followed suit and we undressed in silence, our eyes on each other. I marvelled that after the last night and very little sleep I still had the energy, but I doubted I would ever be able to get enough of Paul. I dropped my eyes from his and took in his chest, rising and falling rapidly as he breathed hard with excitement, the four hard pairs of abs and his cock jutting up in front of his belly, quivering slightly as if begging me to touch it. He was staring at me in much the same way and I moved towards him, both of us reaching out at the same time to slide an arm around each other and grasp each other's erection with our free hands.

I gripped the back of his neck and my mouth covered his eagerly, our lips sliding together and tongues fighting for dominance. I rubbed my thumb over the head of Paul's cock and he moaned into my mouth, his teeth tugging at my lower lip. He took his hands off me suddenly and pushed me backwards towards the bed until my legs touched it. I sat down quickly and scooted back towards the pillows, propping myself up with my legs stretched out in front of me. Paul climbed onto the bed and made his way towards me on hands and knees.

"Turn around the other way," I said. I was longing for him to sink down onto my cock which was throbbing painfully, but there was something I wanted to do for him first. He kneeled astride me and I guided him backwards, positioning him where I wanted him and then running my hands up the backs of his thighs and over his buttocks, squeezing the firm flesh and spreading them apart so that I could tease his hole with my tongue.

"Fuck!" he hissed, shuddering.

I grinned, teasing him more, wetting the puckered skin and then blowing on it, making him shake and curse again. He took one hand off the bed and wrapped it around his cock, rubbing it slowly as I continued licking him and reached between his legs to cup and squeeze his balls.

"God, Emmett, I can't take much more," he groaned.

"I'd drag it out until you're begging, but I can't wait either," I grinned, reaching for the lube on Paul's bedtable. I coated myself in it, then squeezed more onto my fingers and slid first one and then a second into him, preparing him quickly.

"That's enough, I'm ready," Paul panted impatiently after a moment and I withdrew my fingers and guided him down onto me, holding my cock upright until the head slowly disappeared up inside him. Then I held onto his hips with both hands, supporting him as he lowered himself tantalisingly an inch at a time until his weight rested on me, his tight heat squeezing my length. I moved one arm around him, pushing his hand off himself so that I could touch him, stroking firmly as he began to rise up and down, carefully at first and then faster and harder until his thighs were slapping against mine and both of us were panting and groaning. In just brief minutes we came together, me spurting deep inside him and his fluid coating my hand.

Paul leaned back slowly until he rested against my chest, his skin hot and slick slithering against mine. I wiped my hand on the sheet and wrapped both arms around him, pressing my lips to his shoulder and tasting salt. My cock softened and slipped out of him and he pulled away quickly and grabbed some tissues from the box on the window sill to clean himself up.

"Shower?" he grinned.

"Yeah." I hauled myself up onto weak legs and followed him into the bathroom.

We showered quickly, dressed in two pairs of Paul's shorts and then made our way to the kitchen to look for food.

"What do you fancy?" asked Paul, pulling open the refrigerator door and bending slightly to peer inside.

I snorted and reached out to squeeze his butt. "You."

"Jerk." He laughed and passed me a beer. "Lasagne? Emily made one, just for us by the look of it."

"Yeah, anything."

Paul pulled out the dish of lasagne, which was clearly big enough for at least four people and was probably intended for Emily and Sam too. He put the dish in the oven and turned it on, then dug some garlic bread out of the freezer. Thirty minutes later we were tucking into huge platefuls of lasagne, salad and garlic bread and returning afterwards for second helpings. The empty dish went into the dishwasher along with the plates and cutlery and then we sprawled out on the sofa together watching television for the rest of the evening. By the time nine o'clock came, we were yawning our heads off and struggling to stay awake.

"I better get going," I said reluctantly, dragging myself to my feet. The last thing I wanted to do was get dressed and go home, but I didn't think Sam and Emily would appreciate finding me there in the morning, despite their acceptance of me being with Paul.

"Aren't you staying?" Paul rolled onto his back and looked up at me.

"Are you sure? Won't they mind?"

"I doubt it. We'll probably end up red-faced over breakfast, but I don't want you to go."

"Awesome." I went to the bathroom and made use of Paul's toothbrush, then dived into his bed and waited for him to join me. A few minutes he closed the door and got into the bed beside me.

"I could get used to this," he murmured, stroking his hand over my chest and resting his head on my shoulder.

"Yeah, me too." My heart skipped unevenly. I couldn't pretend moving in together hadn't crossed my mind about a hundred times already, but I hadn't really expected it to have crossed Paul's, if that was indeed what he was thinking. It was still really early days, but I would have packed up and moved anywhere to be with him without a second thought. "I love you," I murmured.

"I love you too."


	21. Chapter 21

**Thanks to everyone for reading and for the great reviews as always, glad you're all still enjoying the story :o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

**Paul's POV**

We slept almost round the clock. I opened my eyes and squinted at the time, surprised to find out it was past eight. I could hear music coming from the radio in the kitchen and Emily's voice singing along to the tune. Emmett was still sleeping soundly beside me with his head under the pillow.

"Emmett."

No response.

"Hey!" I pushed him and he rolled over, groaning as he threw the pillow to one side, his eyes still closed.

"Whaddyawant?"

"Your cock."

His eyes snapped open and he was suddenly wide awake.

"I'm joking, Sam and Emily are up and about. Want breakfast?"

"Hell, yeah, I'm starving." He sat up slowly. "Did we really sleep eleven hours?"

"Looks like it." I slid out of the bed and went to the bathroom, leaving Emmett to get ready in his own time. I pulled on sweats and a wife-beater and sauntered into the kitchen. I could already smell bacon.

"Morning," Sam grunted from the breakfast bar.

"Morning, both."

"Coffee," Emily said, holding a mug out towards me.

"Thanks. Um...Emmett's here." I looked at the coffee rather than either of them, slightly embarrassed.

"Yes, we saw his car when we got back," Emily said with a smile.

"That's ok, right?" I said.

"Paul, you're almost twenty-four years old, you don't need permission to have someone stay over," Sam said. "He's welcome any time."

"Thanks," I said again. Sam grinned and turned his attention back to the newspaper he had spread out on the counter in front of him. I relaxed.

"How does he like his coffee?" asked Emily.

"Same as me but with milk," I said, taking a seat beside Sam.

"You ate all the lasagne, you pigs," Emily scolded as she opened the refrigerator to get milk. "That was for all of us."

"We were hungry," I grinned. "Still hungry now."

Emmett appeared at that moment and I noticed he looked awkward and almost shy. Emily greeted him at once and told him to sit down, passing him his coffee and he heaved an audible sigh of relief. I smiled at him and then remembered to ask about Sam and Emily's evening.

"How was the show?"

"Yeah, it was good," Sam lied smoothly.

"Bullshit, baby, you hated it," Emily smiled. "And I love you all the more for taking me to see it."

"Aww," Emmett grinned.

"You get to have your fun in two weeks," Emily said to Sam.

"Bremerton, I forgot!" I exclaimed.

We had all been talking about a trip to Bremerton Raceway near Seattle, but somehow it had slipped my mind the last few days. Probably too busy thinking of other things. I smirked to myself.

"Are you and your family going over there?" Sam asked Emmett. "It's usually similar to Kent. Week after next, Friday through Sunday."

"Yeah, we went a few months back," Emmett nodded. "No one's really mentioned it, but I'll ask the others. I'll be going at least."

I eyed him and raised my eyebrows. "Gonna race me?"

"I'll leave you in my dust," Emmett said.

"Bullshit. Jake's tuning my car, remember. If you win, it'll be because I take pity on you."

Sam put his newspaper away and the three of us talked about the show while Emily finished making the breakfast. Once again it was a nice day and we all ate at the picnic table, our plates loaded with hash browns, bacon, sausage, eggs, tomatoes and toast. When we were done, Emmett gathered up the crockery and went in to load the dishwasher.

"Wow, I'm impressed," Emily smiled at me when he'd disappeared. "He's better trained than you are."

"I've been here since I was sixteen, you only have yourself to blame," I teased.

Emmett left not long after, decided he should make some effort to spend time with his family. I didn't see him again that day as I had to work, but we talked on the phone before I went. Monday I spent at Jake's working on the Skyline. Emmett had to drive over to PA in the morning with a delivery, but he came over in the afternoon to help. He and Jake soon began to get along well and Emmett stayed there while I went to my class. I took the GTR and picked up Chinese takeout on the way back. We went into Jake's house to eat and in the middle of the meal Seth called me, wanting to know if he could come over and talk to me and hopefully Emmett.

"I'm guessing you'd rather talk to him than me," I teased. "We're at Jake's working on my car; come on over."

He agreed and thirty minutes later he was talking to Emmett in low voices outside the garage door while Jacob and I continued working. They came in eventually, Seth looking awkward, but quite happy.

"Well?" I said. "Don't keep us in suspense."

"What's going on?" Jacob wondered. "Are you ok, Seth?"

"Yeah," he grinned. "I have something to tell you. Um..." He stopped and kicked at a discarded piece of hose.

"Go on, spit it out," I said. "Jake won't care."

Jacob eyed me curiously and I shrugged.

"I got a date Friday," Seth said with a grin.

"Seth, you always have a date Fridays, at least until recently," Jacob said, seemingly oblivious that something was different.

"With...?" I prompted.

"Collin."

"Awesome," I smiled. "If that goes well you can bring him to Bremerton the week after."

"When did you get interested in guys?" Jake asked in surprise.

"It's just Collin, really, I think. I don't know, I was curious a while ago. It was only last week something happened. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I was freaking out. That's why I wanted to talk to Paul and Emmett the other day."

"That's cool," Jake said. "Don't worry about it. Didn't have you down for the big brother type though, Paul."

I flipped him the finger.

"So, you're cool if I date a guy?" Seth said again, eyeing Jake hopefully. The kid had always looked up to him like the sun shone out of his ass.

"Yeah, totally cool, stop worrying about it," Jacob smiled. "Bring him around here any time you want, it's a while since I've seen him."

"You think the others will be ok? I mean, if it works out?"

"Of course they will," I said. "They were fine about me and Emmett. If you get any shit from anyone though, let me know, I'll deal with them."

"No way, Paul, you'll end up getting arrested again," Seth snorted.

The four of us joked around a little longer until Seth went off home and Jacob sent Emmett and me packing, saying he would do some more work on my car the following evening. Rather than just go back to Sam's and hang out, Emmett and I drove into Forks to see a movie and sat in the back row of a low budget horror, laughing at the poorly done effects and teasing each other with wandering hands until we were aching and tempted to head for the bathroom to get each other off. Emmett did actually go in there to check it out, but came back to report that the place wasn't very clean and we better wait until we got home. A quick fumble or blow job was no longer enough anyway.

We returned to Sam's after the movie and Emmett stayed over again. Sam and Emily had already gone to bed and since their room was the other side of the lounge it was unlikely they would hear anything. We pulled the bed away from the wall so it wouldn't bang against it and did our best to be quiet, Emmett fucking me tormentingly slowly while I dug my nails into his back and bit his shoulder to stop myself groaning and shouting.

We began to get into a new routine with Emmett coming over on the days he had time free and helping Jake and me work on the Skyline for a while. When I had to work he usually went home, but occasionally would have dinner with Sam and Emily and be waiting in my room for me when I got home. They were completely accepting of him and he was getting on like a house on fire with Sam. On the days I didn't work, we often went out for the evening and then he would stay over again. He barely mentioned what was going on at his home, but I knew he was sad that his father wouldn't accept him and felt some guilt that he couldn't invite me over to their place. I knew his mother had done her best to get Carlisle to talk to Emmett about things, but he consistently refused to acknowledge his son wasn't 'normal'.

When the weekend of Bremerton Raceway finally arrived, all of us gathered at Jake's garage on Friday morning, ready to drive over there in convoy - Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, Embry and his latest girlfriend Carrie, Leah, Seth and Collin who had been dating for almost two weeks now and although still shy in front of the rest of us, seemed pretty loved up in the way they looked at each other. Emmett's brothers and sister were all going to the show too although his parents didn't plan to and I knew it was because Carlisle didn't want to have to mingle with the rest of us there, mainly me, although Emmett didn't say it.

My car had long since been finished of course and I was delighted that it was virtually equalling the power of the GTR now. I was going to whip Emmett's butt on the strip if it killed me. I grimaced as I thought that and wondered how we would actually all feel about running the quarter after the horror of what had happened at Kent. It was going to bring back some awful memories for everyone, Emmett included.

By mid-afternoon we were all at the raceway, the tents positioned in a half circle around the cars and several people squabbling about who would share with who as we seemed to be one tent short. Seth and Collin intended to share and Sam and Emily wanted to have their own space this time, so Leah ended up without a tent. Alice had her own and had no intention of giving it up to share with Edward and Jasper, but eventually, much to everyone's surprise since Leah had a face like thunder by then, Alice tiptoed over to her and shyly suggested they share. Leah just shrugged and grabbed her sleeping bag to take it to Alice's tent. I didn't think the pair would really get on at all, but somehow by the end of the evening they were laughing together like the best of friends.

We spent the rest of the day wandering around the showground taking everything in, barbecuing supper and then watching the movie on the huge outdoor screen. XXX was showing and everyone in our group enjoyed it, except Alice who Emmett said preferred chick flicks. When it finished, music started up and it was the early hours of the morning by the time we all retired to the tents.

Emmett and I managed to have sex virtually silently, having perfected the art of doing it with Sam and Emily in the house. Not so Seth and Collin in the next tent; whatever they were getting up to elicited a muffled groan from one of them followed by a 'sshhh'. I pressed my face against Emmett's shoulder to stifle a laugh and then Embry's voice came out of the darkness from the other side of our tent.

"Jesus, Paul, will you keep it down in there?"

I raised my head. "Hey, that wasn't me!" I protested.

Emmett's large hand clamped over my mouth quickly before I could say anything more.

"Sorry, it was me," he said loudly and issued a suitably embarrassed sounding laugh. I snorted with laughter.

"Be quiet!" Leah hissed and Alice giggled.

"You know Seth's gonna be your friend for life now," I whispered.

"Poor kid, he still blushes so much even about holding hands," Emmett said in my ear.

"I guess he'll get used to it if he's going to stick with Collin," I yawned. I turned my face into his neck and closed my eyes, already beginning to drift into sleep.

Everyone woke late on Saturday. When we dragged ourselves out of our tent Emily and Alice were frying up bacon and eggs for breakfast and Jacob, Jasper and Edward were giving their cars a final polish before they put them on show. As predicted, Seth sidled over to Emmett when no one was paying much attention and thanked him for pretending to be the one groaning.

By the time we had all eaten, showered and so on, cars were already beginning to line up for the strip and my heart began to hammer with a mixture of excitement and nerves. I was eager to make the first run and get over the latter. Emmett was going up against me and we drove the two Nissans over to the lines and took up our positions side by side, crawling slowly forward towards the starting lights. Jared was behind me and next to a guy in an S2000 that we vaguely knew from other shows. The pair had their windows down and were talking loudly to each other as the line shortened.

It was perhaps twenty minutes before I found myself being beckoned forward by one of the guys who ran the racing and I moved up until the pre-staged lights flashed on and then braked and inched forward until the staged lights lit up. I glanced over at Emmett, not able to see him clearly through the darkened windows, but wondering if he felt as tense as I did. I turned my head and stared straight down the strip towards the finish, the overhead clocks a quarter mile away waiting to time us.

Fuck. My palms were sweating and I took my hands off the wheel to wipe them on my jeans quickly. Did I really want to do this? The last time we were at a strip Quil died and sitting here now brought the whole thing back like it just happened - Emmett's car and Kermit colliding, Kermit cartwheeling and me, like a fucking jerk, running over to kick the shit out of Emmett instead of trying to get to Quil. I shuddered and shook myself determinedly. I hadn't dwelled on it for a while and I knew it was only being here, on a drag strip, that was bringing it all back again. Maybe making the run would actually put any remaining ghosts to rest.

I stepped harder on the gas, watching the rev counter rise towards 5000, waiting for the lights to change. The engine roared and the three sets of amber lights flicked on. In the next instant amber died and green flashed up. I dumped the clutch and the Skyline shot forward, forcing me back against the seat. I shifted through the gears rapidly and found myself so focused on staying in a straight line, accelerating as fast as possible, my eyes fixed on the finish that it seemed to be over before it started. I shot over the line and the clock froze on 12.2 seconds and it was only then when I eased off on the gas and braked gently that I glanced in my mirrors and noticed that the GTR was at least a couple seconds behind me. Somehow I just knew it was nothing to do with the car's performance or whether he got off the line fast. It was about the accident.

"Fuck!" I growled, braking harder and turning the Skyline off the strip. I was actually ok although my heart was banging wildly. I pulled up quickly close to where the others were standing watching and leaped out of the car. Jared was starting his run and as Emmett drove slowly towards us, Embry punched me in the shoulder.

"Yeah, you beat the fucker!"

"Jerk," Jasper muttered.

"Embry, shut your mouth," I hissed as the GTR pulled up and the engine cut out. Emmett slid out, closed the door and then leaned against it and I jogged over to him quickly. He was pale and sweaty and when I reached him I noticed he was shaking.

"What happened?" I asked, touching his arm.

"Fuck." He squeezed his eyes shut. "It was like I was back there, at Kent. Brought the whole thing back. I could see it happening all over again. I dropped back so that if something went wrong I wouldn't hit you."

He shivered and I stepped closer and slid my arms around him. The hell with everybody else. If some random homophobic stranger dared to say anything I would knock their fucking teeth out later. Emmett hugged me back and pressed his face into my neck, exhaling shakily.

"Sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be stupid. It affected me too. We probably should have just watched for now. It's ok, it's over." I pulled my head back a little and brushed my lips along his jaw.

"Paul...aren't you worried about...?"

"No," I interrupted, knowing exactly what he was thinking. "Fuck 'em. Let them think what they like."

Emmett met my eyes and smiled a little weakly. "I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too." My lips touched his lightly, but neither of us deepened it, we just hugged each other until the expected interruption came.

"Guys...people are gawking." It was Jared's voice and I turned to look over my shoulder at him.

"Fuck off, Jared, do you really think I care about that shit right now?" I growled.

"It's alright, I'm alright," Emmett said, pushing himself away from the GTR and letting go of me.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Thanks. I think I'm gonna go polish the dust off this beast and put it in the show and shine competition."

"I'll come and help you," I said at once. "I'll just be a couple of minutes." I went to talk to the others as Emmett got back into his car and drove off towards the camping area.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Jared?" I demanded.

"Woah, settle down, I was only saying." Jared held up both hands as I stepped closer to him.

"Well, don't. He's upset, it brought back what happened in Kent. It did with me too, but nowhere near as badly. If anyone's got a problem with me giving him comfort, they can fucking say so to my face and see how they like my response!"

"Alright, Paul, cool it," Sam said. "Jared didn't mean anything. You know we all support you and Emmett...and you two." He glanced at Seth and Collin who were standing side by side, tentatively holding hands and biting their lips.

"Yeah, I know." I let out a long breath. "I'll see you guys later, I'm going to help Emmett polish the GTR; he's going to show it instead."

"Sure," Embry nodded.

I drove the Skyline back to the camp and Emmett and I spent the next couple hours with rags and polish until the GTR gleamed and sparkled. Emmett drove it into the show field and parked up and then came back to me. The others had stayed away from us and we took the opportunity to dive into the tent and be alone.

We talked about Quil and much as I had thought I was ok earlier when Emmett needed me, now I found tears filling my eyes and he was the one to offer support. We gave up on the rest of the afternoon and simply stayed there together, comforting cuddles and gentle kisses eventually turning into heated ones until we were tearing at each other's clothes, desperate to get naked and make the most of the time we had before the others all returned to the tents and heard us. We were pretty rough with each other, Emmett pinning me to the ground and slamming into me repeatedly, my hands clutching at his hips and digging into his back, bruising him wherever I touched.

Afterwards we cleaned ourselves up in the tent as best we could, then dressed again and went to shower. When I looked at myself in one of the mirrors in the shower block I couldn't help grinning at my reflection; lips swollen, eyes shining, like I had been well and truly fucked, in addition to the soreness I felt inside myself which confirmed it.

By the time the others returned to the tents we had the barbecue going and were about to start cooking up some large slabs of steak Emmett had fetched from the on-site supplies store.

"You two ok?" Emily asked as she sat down between us.

"Yeah, thanks," Emmett said. "I knew it was going to be tough, but I wanted to face it, you know?"

"I do know." Sam dropped to his haunches the other side of the barbecue and grabbed a fork. "Guys, you're cremating these."

"Emmett likes them black," I grinned, passing Sam a plate to rescue some of the steaks.

"Yeah, he's a caveman," said Jasper. "Anybody with any finesse enjoys rare steak."

"Shut up, Jas, just because I don't like my dinner still bleeding doesn't make me lacking in finesse," Emmett grimaced.

I snorted quietly, immediately picturing our desperate attempts to undress without breaking our kisses, fumbling with buttons and zippers, Emmett grabbing the lube and squirting it all over his hand and my balls in his efforts to hurry up and fuck me and his cock jabbing me several times and sliding up the crack in my ass before he eventually pushed it inside me. I glanced up and looked at him and his eyes were laughing as if he were thinking the same thing.

Later there was more entertainment on, with another movie following by a firework display. By the time the movie finished, Seth and Collin were conspicuous by their absence and we guessed they had sneaked back to their tent for a little fun of their own without the risk of being heard again. The rest of us stayed to watch the fireworks before heading back to the camp.

Once back in the tent, I couldn't resist tormenting Emmett. I was a touch too uncomfortable to have sex again and instead began teasing him with my tongue, remembering how he had liked what I did before and spending time licking and pinching his nipples, nibbling my way down over his belly and sucking his cock. He ground his teeth together and let out a soft sigh as I took him in my mouth, struggling to stay quiet as I gripped him tight in one hand, my hand following the movement of my mouth while I caressed his balls with the other. As I felt him tensing up prior to orgasm I stopped and sat up, taking both hands off of him and rubbing my own cock instead.

"You fucking tease!" Emmett gasped.

"Sshh," I smirked.

"Please," he whispered.

I lowered my head again after I made him wait a minute or two, resuming sucking him while I jacked myself off, breathing hard through my nose and grinning as Emmett grabbed the pillow and pressed it over his face to smother the moans he couldn't hold back. Afterwards we slept, wrapped around each other in a tangle of limbs.

Sunday, Emmett left his car in the show field along with the others, but I ventured onto the strip again against Jared. I was in two minds about doing it even though I handled it ok the day before; I was more concerned that Emmett would get stressed about it, but he urged me to take part and by the time I had whipped Jared's butt twice and only been beaten once myself by a fraction of a second, Emmett was smiling, telling me he would probably give it another go at the next show.

We left Bremerton late Sunday afternoon and drove back to La Push, the Cullens leaving us when we passed their driveway. I pulled off the road at the same time to say goodbye to Emmett, knowing that with him making a trip to Portland on Monday and me working again, it would be Tuesday before we next saw each other.

* * *

**LuvnmyEdward - As for the pair moving in together, obviously they are thinking about it separately but will either of them actually suggest it? We'll have to wait and see. I do know I won't be doing the baby thing though. Jared does get overlooked quite a bit, I hadn't though of giving him his own story really, but you never know, maybe one day :o) **


	22. Chapter 22

**As always, thank you all for reading and reviewing, it's much appreciated. Looking forward to seeing what you think of the latest installment! ;o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

**Paul's POV**

I guess all in all the show was a success. After a few runs on the strip I had no longer felt nervous when I pulled up to the starting lights. Emmett had gotten over his earlier upset and although he didn't run again, he had decided he would give it another go the next time. Edward won the show and shine competition, which was pretty much a foregone conclusion. His ZR1 was mint. Somehow it always looked as if it had come straight out of the showroom and never been driven, the paintwork polished well enough to see your reflection in it, alloys pristine, tyres blacked, everything perfect. I actually enjoyed walking around it now, peering in the windows and teasing him when he told me I better not breathe on the glass. I found I got along with both him and Jasper reasonably well once I made the effort to talk to them.

When I arrived home, Sam and Emily had already unpacked the truck and Emily was calling out for pizza rather than start cooking after the long and tiring day. I went to take a shower and then threw myself on the sofa to wait for the food.

"That went pretty well," Sam said. "The Cullen guys are decent when you get to know them."

"Yeah, I'm glad all that shit with them is over," I agreed.

My mind immediately jumped to Emmett again, not that he was ever very far away from it when he wasn't with me. I wished he was here, or I was there, or something. We had only parted thirty minutes ago and I already felt like part of me was missing. What made things worse was that it would be Friday before I saw him again - five whole days. He was setting off early Monday with Esme for a trip to New York and wouldn't be back until late Friday night when I was at work. A few short days suddenly seemed like a hell of a long time, especially since I was missing him after less than one hour.

I heard Sam say something and nodded, hoping I hadn't missed anything important. "Yeah," I said vaguely.

"You have got it bad," Sam grinned.

"What?"

"You zoned out completely while I was talking and then said 'yeah' when I asked if you want me to sell your car."

"Fuck off," I muttered. "I was just thinking."

Sam laughed. "Isn't he going away on some trip this week?"

"Don't remind me." I got up and went to fetch a beer from the kitchen. It was going to be the longest fucking week I'd ever spent.

Monday seemed interminable. The only thing I had to do was go to my kick boxing class. I even consented to help Emily with the laundry and then cleaned the house windows, both inside and out, just so I didn't sit tapping my fingers or pace around. Emmett sent me some texts from Sea-Tac and then several hours later from LaGuardia, but then it was late evening before I heard anything more. He called me from the hotel he and Esme were staying in. They had eaten dinner and finally he was alone in his room.

"Did you miss me?" he asked with an unmistakeable grin in his voice.

"Fuck, yes!" I blurted.

"Me too, I wish you were here. This hotel is awesome. There's a gym and a pool downstairs, I'm going to hit them in the morning."

"No need to rub it in," I said.

"We should take a trip somewhere together soon," Emmett said. "A vacation. What do you think?"

"Sounds great. We should just lock ourselves away somewhere for a week and switch the phones off," I smirked. "So how was the flight?"

"It was ok. I don't want to talk about the flight, Paul, I want you to get naked and play with me."

I was already lying on the bed in just my pants and I began to unfasten them at once, my cock eagerly stiffening. "Tell me what you're doing," I prompted.

"I'm on my bed, naked, watching myself in a big ass mirror. I'm so hard I feel like I'm going to explode. I got lube on my hand and I'm rubbing my cock."

"Fuck," I hissed, grasping myself firmly. "Wish I was there. I'd have it in my mouth by now, sucking you."

Emmett groaned down the phone. "I had an idea...something we haven't done before." He paused as his breath hitched and then continued to describe me kneeling above him, lowering my cock into his mouth while I leaned down and sucked on him. He would lube up his fingers and slide them into me while I fucked his mouth and gave his cock and ass the same treatment. He took his time describing it and both of us came quickly, panting down the phone as we jacked off vigorously.

"Shit, Emmett," I groaned. "What did you want to tell me that now for? We're going to have to wait until the weekend to try it!"

"We should get a motel room," Emmett said. "It's going to be too hard staying quiet."

Tuesday of course I was back at work, although the day leading up to my class was still long and boring. Emmett was busy with Esme visiting some client, although he sent me texts every so often and then by the time I finished at the club he had gone to bed. The same happened Wednesday and by Thursday, although he stayed up to talk to me on the phone, he was too tired to play and had a big day on Friday with a late evening flight home, so we couldn't even talk for long. I was actually tempted to call in sick at the club on Friday, knowing I wasn't going to get to see him otherwise, but I didn't do it. Emmett called me after breakfast and told me that by the time he drove back from Sea-Tac is would be after midnight.

"Yeah, I guess you're going to be needing sleep by then," I said, disappointed.

"Sleep will be the last thing on my mind," he said. "I can't wait to see you. I'll stay up after I take Mom home. Maybe I could..." He paused for a moment. "...come over to LA's. I can keep my distance. I guess I can't wait." He stopped again and sighed. "It's a lousy idea."

Emmett turning up at my place of work? I knew we could manage to not give the game away, but I was a little worried I might not be able to wait until I finished to get my hands on him. What the hell. I wanted to see him. Five days was a long fucking time.

"No, come to the club," I said. "I'll make sure I'm not on the door, then I can at least talk to you for a few minutes at a time."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. What time will you get there?"

"Probably about twelve-thirty if the flight and the drive back don't get held up for anything. I'll text you when we land."

"Ok." Excitement filled me as I wondered how easy it would be to sneak him up to the staff rest rooms without anyone suspecting anything. It would probably be way too risky - I would have to be satisfied with just talking to him and looking at him until I could leave at three.

I was in a state of nervous excitement for the rest of the day and by the time I started work, my heart was skipping and I was glancing at my wristwatch every five minutes, longing for Emmett to arrive. He sent me a text not long after the club opened to say he was at Sea-Tac baggage claim and then again at eleven to let me know they reached PA and had stopped for coffee. I had never been so impatient for anything in my life and I paced the club, hoping something would actually happen that I would need to deal with, to distract me from my thoughts.

Nothing did happen. The night crawled on slowly, twelve-thirty came and went and he didn't show. Maybe he got held up. Maybe he was too tired after driving a hundred and eighty miles. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out quickly.

'Only just made it home, be there in ten.'

'Can't wait,' I responded quickly.

Five more minutes passed and then just when I didn't want anything to happen, a fight broke out, typically in the women's bathroom. Girls could be way worse than guys when it came to fighting, I had learned since working at the club. They would go off about anything - usually a guy, but sometimes about something ridiculous like one of them turning up in the same dress another one had on. I would never understand them and now Ray and I carefully wrestled the two cats apart, one with a handful of the other's hair that she had ripped out, and began marching them towards the exit while they screamed and swore at us, desperate to go back to their squabble.

Emmett was just coming in as I ushered my girl out and I smirked at him over her head and then finished what I was doing. By the time I had gotten rid of the furious creature and turned to go back in, he had paid the cover charge and was sauntering into the main part of the club. I caught him up quickly. He was wearing a partly open white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and dark pants and my mouth began to water.

"You would turn up here looking hotter than fucking hell," I growled quietly.

Emmett grinned. "You got two hours to go, right? It won't hurt you to keep looking at me and thinking about what I'm gonna do to you later."

"Fuck," I muttered, my pants immediately beginning to feel tight. "I'm tempted to drag you up to the staff rest rooms right now, but I think we'd be too conspicuous."

"Well, I can wait. You can just look forward to me nailing you to the bed when you finish," Emmett said smugly.

"Jesus."

"I missed you, by the way," he added. "Miss me?"

"You have no idea. Go get a drink, I'll come back and see you when I've made another few circuits of this place." I reluctantly walked away from him, my cock twitching and my heart hammering. I wanted him so damned much, but more than anything I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him.

Fifteen minutes later I passed the bar and there was Emmett, leaning against it looking like a fucking model for some men's health magazine or something, with a girl on each side doing their best to chat him up. I caught his eye and raised an eyebrow and he grimaced back at me and took a swig from the bottle of Bud he had in his hand. I watched his throat move as he swallowed and my mouth went dry. Damnit. It was still only just coming up to one-thirty.

Another fifteen minutes crawled by and then a number of things began to happen. The two girls had finally given up on Emmett and he was wandering off in the direction of the men's bathroom. I caught him up before he got there and noticed he had a hand on his belly and looked a touch uncomfortable.

"You ok?"

"Fucking shit I ate on the way home disagreeing with me," he muttered.

"Go use the staff bathroom upstairs," I said at once, pointing to the door than led to the stairs. "The public ones will be packed by now and none too clean."

"Is that ok? Won't your boss complain if some random stranger's up there?"

"He won't notice, he'll be in his office doing the books," I said.

"Thanks." Emmett disappeared through the door and I frowned to myself, hoping he would be ok. If he wasn't, I guessed I would just have to spend the night looking after him instead of playing with him. Either way, I wasn't planning on letting him out of my sight for some time.

Another fight started up on the dancefloor and distracted me from thinking about him. Ray and I waded in and dragged three guys apart, fending them off as two of them turned on us and then hustling them outside, each with an arm pinned behind their backs.

"It's fucking crazy tonight," Ray said as we turned to go back in. "Just this last hour."

"Yeah, I'll be glad to get to the end of it," I agreed.

I was tempted to head up to the bathroom to check on Emmett, but I doubted he would want me to. I sure as hell wouldn't want company if I was puking my guts up or shitting them out. I decided to leave him ten minutes and then go up. I glanced at my wristwatch again and noticed it was approaching two o'clock. It had to be the longest shift I had ever worked. I walked slowly around the club one more time and was held up by a girl coming over to ask me if I was single and if so, would I like a date with her friend. She pointed out a cheap looking blonde with a microscopic dress and too much make-up on.

"I'm in a relationship," I said and moved away from her. I made my way to the back of the club and was just about to open the door leading to the stairs when I heard the fire alarm. It was faint, only just audible above the pulsing music and I wondered how long it had been going off. Hell of a time for someone to set the damned thing off, but we had to follow procedure and I jogged over to the DJ's booth and caught his attention, signalling for him to cut the music. Immediately it stopped and the fire alarm peeled shrilly through the club. Voices began shouting and feet shuffled as people began to mill around, some heading for the exit and others starting to complain about having a test run in the middle of their night out.

"For fuck's sake," I muttered to myself as Ray, Gary and Steve all came over and the four of us began ushering people towards the door. The DJ and the bar girls joined us and the crowd reluctantly began to head outside; reluctantly until smoke began issuing from the storage room to the side of the bar and creeping onto the dancefloor and then they began to run, yelling, screaming and pushing. I grabbed a small girl and righted her as someone collided with her and knocked her off of her feet. Steve headed for the men's bathroom and Gary told me to deal with the women's. He and Ray continued herding people outside. I headed to the women's room, coughing slightly as the smoke drifting overhead reached me. Emmett was still upstairs, I remembered, and nobody knew except me. In addition, Mr Barraco was up there.

The girl's bathroom was a hysterical mass of screaming females jostling for the door while smoke oozed out of the ventilation system in the upper corner, causing them all to gasp and choke.

"Ladies!" I bellowed above the shrieking. "Take it easy now, come this way, turn left and follow the wall. You'll all be out in the fresh air in two minutes."

Several of them did as they were told and I pulled my phone out quickly and tapped out a text to Emmett.

'Get outside now, there's a fire.'

I waited in an agony of worry for almost a minute while I continued propelling girls out of the bathroom, until my phone buzzed reassuringly and the message simply stated, 'On way.' I heaved a sigh of relief and checked all the stalls. The bathroom was empty now, but one of the doors was closed. I could hear wheezing and coughing coming from behind it and glanced anxiously at the vent from which smoke was pouring persistently. Damn this building; it had been built probably sixty years ago and the vents were spreading the smoke everywhere in minutes. I wondered how long it was since the place even had a safety check. And what the hell was wrong with the damned sprinkler system? It was supposed to come on automatically at the first hint of smoke, but it hadn't done. The alarm was still screeching however and I knew it alerted the fire service electronically so they were sure to be on their way.

"Hey!" I banged on the door of the stall. "I'm one of the security guys. Can you open the door?"

"I'm scared," a small voice wailed and then dissolved into a mixture of sobs and coughing.

"Fuck," I muttered, drawing in a breath and immediately coughing it out. I was breathing this shit and God alone knew what it was doing to my lungs. "Stand back!" I panted and quickly put my shoulder to the door. The stalls weren't built of particularly strong stuff and the lock burst free to reveal a small and scantily clad girl sitting on the toilet seat with her feet drawn up and her arms wrapped around her legs, a wad of toilet paper pressed to her nose and mouth.

"Come on, get up, you'll be safe in just a minute," I said, but she just shivered and shook her head, refusing to move. I stepped forward quickly, scooped her up into my arms and sidled out of the stall while she fastened her arms around my neck in a choke hold, wailing and spluttering as I made for the exit.

Outside the bathroom the smoke was already thick and disorienting. I knew to turn left and head along the wall, past the bar and the multi-coloured lights overhead were still on so it shouldn't be that difficult. However, I hadn't bargained on the fact that the smoke was stinging my eyes and making them water and while I was holding onto the girl I couldn't cover my mouth and nose. My chest burned and I couldn't stop myself coughing. Each breath I tried to draw only pulled more smoke into my lungs and I spluttered it out again, staggering forward and wondering if I was going to make it outside before I collapsed.

Suddenly the few lights that were on went out and the people who were apparently still making their way outside ahead of me started to scream. The girl's body went limp in my arms as she lost consciousness and her vice-like grip on my neck loosened. I forced my legs to keep moving, my head spinning and aching from the lack of oxygen. I couldn't believe how fast this had all happened. One minute everything was normal, the next the whole fucking place was filling with smoke and I still couldn't hear the fire trucks arriving.

At last I reached the lobby and immediately the air cleared. The doors stood wide open and a crowd of people milled around on the sidewalk and in the street. Someone pulled the girl from me and I staggered forward into a pair of strong arms. Blinded by smoke and tears I clutched at the person holding me, gasping and choking, trying to breathe fresh air into my burning lungs.

"Em...Emmett!" I gasped, thinking it must be him holding onto me.

"It's Ray."

Dizzy and weak, my knees started to buckle and I felt myself being lowered to the ground. Screaming sirens could now be heard in the distance and I squinted up at Ray, my chest heaving with the effort to breathe and speak.

"Paul! Shit!" Gary appeared and kneeled down the other side of me, he and Ray both apparently ok and I could see Mr Barraco behind them leaning against the wall. "The fire trucks and ambulances are just coming now."

"Emmett!" I croaked again. Where the hell was he? I couldn't see properly and the crowd of panicking people didn't help, but surely he would have been looking for me.

"Who's Emmett?" Ray asked. He glanced at Gary, who shrugged.

"Fuck, no..." I shoved myself up from the pavement, my head spinning, and lurched to my feet. "He's still in there!"

"What the fuck, Paul? If there's anyone still in there the fire officers will get them!" Gary's arms grabbed me and I fought against him.

"Get the hell off of me!"

"Jesus, Paul! Who's this Emmett anyway?" Ray demanded.

"He was in the..." I dissolved into a paroxysm of coughing. "...staff bathroom. He's my..." Fuck, they were all going to know now, like that even mattered at this moment in time. "..._boyfriend!"_ I yelled.

"Fuck. Stay there. I'll go look for him."

To my utter amazement, Ray shrugged out of his jacket, covered the lower half of his face with it and took off into the club without hesitation. I allowed my weak legs to give in again and subsided against Gary. Christ, what if he was too late? What if Emmett was still in the fucking bathroom overcome by smoke? He might me lying there passed out...dead...

"Oh, God," I moaned and covered my face with my hands, real tears beginning to squeeze out of my eyes.

"I'm sure he's fine, Ray will get him," Gary said. "Try and calm down. Breathe."

I sucked in a long shaky breath and coughed again. "You're not...bothered..." I gasped.

"Stop trying to talk, Paul, you dick, why in hell would I be bothered?" Gary grunted. "Mr Barraco is gay, everyone's cool with it. You're a fucking dark horse, though, nobody had a clue."

"I guess I don't...fit the mould..."

Suddenly several fire officers appeared and headed into the building with flashlights, hoses and various other pieces of equipment.

"I think it's in the storeroom next to the bar!" Gary yelled out to them.

"Anyone need help here?" I removed my hands from my face and looked up at the paramedic who had spoken.

"I'm alright."

"You are not, Paul. He inhaled a lot of smoke," Gary said.

"There are people worse off than me, that girl..." I protested.

"The brunette? One of my colleagues has her. Let's get a look at you."

I was forced to give in and let the guy examine me, noting that all I was suffering from was breathing in smoke. He put an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and suddenly I could breathe without my lungs having to try and suck air into them. I realised it was the least of my worries. Ray was still inside the building and so was Emmett. How the fuck could he get out of there alive?

A commotion at the door made me look up quickly and I saw the big black guy staggering out of the building, one of the fire officers assisting him and holding a mask over his face, steering him to another paramedic. Panic filled me and I lurched up again.

"Ray...?"

Ray pulled the mask away from his face. "Got him!" he panted, jerking his head backwards towards the doors. Another officer was emerging, walking slowly and purposefully and carrying a large muscular body over his shoulders - black pants, white shirt almost grey from the smoke.

"Emmett!" I dragged the oxygen mask off and scrambled up, pushing past Gary and the paramedic as Emmett's body was lowered carefully to the ground close to one of the ambulances. He wasn't moving or showing any signs of life. His skin was pallid, lips blue and I watched, horrified, as two paramedics bent over him, feeling for a pulse, giving him oxygen.

"Oh, fuck," I whispered. It was happening all over again. Mom, Peter, Quil...now Emmett. I was going to lose him, I just knew it. I gave in against my better judgement; let myself see him again after that first time, let him fuck me, let him into my heart and fucking fell in love with him and now...he was being torn away from me just like the others, only this time it was going to be a hundred times more agonising. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it and pain ripped through me as I stood watching one of the paramedics administering CPR, trying to get his heart to beat. I wanted to die with him and I sank my teeth into my clenched fist, waiting for them to look up and tell me it was too late, that he was gone.


	23. Chapter 23

**Thanks for all the great comments and reviews as usual. I'm sure you're all cursing me now for the cliffhanger, so here's the outcome ;o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

**Paul's POV**

It felt as if I had been standing there for hours, but it could only have been seconds. Emmett didn't move or breathe and I realised someone was holding me up, preventing my legs from collapsing under me.

"Keep the fucking mask over your face." It was Gary, pulling my hand away from my mouth and replacing the oxygen mask. I didn't protest and I breathed easier.

"Got a pulse!"

The words didn't register with me and I continued staring at Emmett's lifeless body as the paramedics lifted him onto a folding trolley, hooked up a drip and loaded him into the ambulance.

"Hey, come on, he's alive." Gary shook me and began ushering me towards the vehicle. "Guys, can you take Paul too? He's Emmett's partner."

Gary's hands on my arm were replaced by those of one of the paramedics and I was helped up into the back of the ambulance, pushed down onto a seat in the corner and told to keep the mask on. The doors closed, the sirens came on and in a moment we were moving. I looked across at Emmett, lying on the other side of the vehicle with one of the paramedics leaning over him, checking various things. He was alive! Looking at him, it seemed hard to believe. He was black with smoke, eyes red and lips still blue and he wasn't moving, but the heart monitor which he was attached to was bleeping insistently. The sound faded out and a rushing filled my ears. I struggled to see as my peripheral vision diminished and I found myself looking down a rapidly narrowing tunnel.

'For Christ's sake, Paul, get hold of yourself, don't fucking pass out,' I told myself. I shook my head and sucked hard on the oxygen and after a few seconds the threat of unconsciousness receded and I was staring back at the paramedic who had turned towards me and was reaching out to prop me up.

"I'm ok," I croaked.

It was barely another five minutes before we reached the hospital and I climbed unsteadily out of the ambulance and walked beside the trolley as Emmett was taken inside to some kind of recovery room. A nurse came to me to ask details and I gave her my name and Emmett's.

"His Dad is Carlisle Cullen," I added. "Is he working here tonight?"

"He's not on duty, I'll have him paged," she said at once. "Come with me now, I need to check you over."

"I'm staying here," I said firmly. No way in hell was I leaving Emmett's side until he woke up; they would have to get security and cuff me first, I thought fiercely and glared at her.

"Very well, just sit here..." She indicated a chair and I dropped into it thankfully. My head was hammering like the worst hangover in history and my eyes still stung. I was still coughing, but not so often and after carrying out a few tests, including taking a blood sample, the nurse left me alone.

Emmett still wasn't moving and they were in the process of intubating him to make it easier for him to get oxygen. Inhalation of so much smoke had caused his throat to swell and the simple mask wasn't enough. Once that was done, one of the doctors who had been attending to him left and the nurse told me I could come closer and sit with him if I wanted. I rose slowly from the chair and moved to the one beside the bed. I could see Emmett's chest rising and falling reassuringly, but it seemed like the machine was making it do that. I kept having to look at the heart monitor, reminding myself that he wasn't dead and I tentatively reached out to take hold of his hand. It was warm and alive, but it lay limply in mine and didn't return the squeeze I gave it.

"Come on, Emmett, for fuck's sake, you can't leave me," I muttered.

The door opened a few minutes later and I looked up to see Ray peering around it, an oxygen mask in his hand.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah. You?"

"I'm fine. What about your man?"

"I don't know." I switched my attention back to Emmett.

"I'm in the next room if you want me," Ray said. "They're keeping me here a few hours for observation."

He withdrew and I leaned forward, resting my head on my arms on the edge of the bed, still gripping Emmett's hand tightly in mine. "Wake up, please wake up," I whispered.

The door opened again and Carlisle strode in, coming straight to Emmett's bedside and I jerked up quickly although I didn't relinquish my hold on his hand.

"Dr Cullen," I said.

"You shouldn't be in here," he responded tersely. "Nurse Brown, please take Mr Lahote into the recovery room next door."

"I'm not leaving him!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, you are. Family alone are permitted to be in this room. His mother and I will be with him from now on."

"I'm staying!" I was furious and I let go of Emmett's hand and lurched to my feet, further annoyed that I had to lean on the bed to support my weak legs. "He would want me with him!"

"Emmett isn't capable of deciding anything right now. I am his father and I will make the decisions. Would you like me to call security and have your removed?"

"What the fuck?" I gasped. Emmett hadn't been exaggerating when he told me his father didn't want to know when it came to me or his lifestyle.

"Out," Carlisle said firmly as if he were talking to a naughty child.

I went, fists clenched, marvelling at my ability to control myself. In any other circumstances I would have been tempted to throw a punch at him, but that wouldn't help Emmett and I doubted it would impress him either if..._when_...he woke up and learned how I'd behaved. I walked out and went to join Ray in the next room, wanting to pace around, but finding I needed to sit down quickly.

"What's going on in there?" Ray asked in surprise.

"His fucking father sent me out," I growled. "He's head of surgery here or some shit. Bastard! He won't accept Emmett's gay, won't even talk about it." I bit my lip, wondering if I had said too much, but Ray just looked at me sympathetically.

"Sadly there are still far too many bigots around," he said. "The times I hear the word 'nigger' or something similar. You have to ignore it and get on with things. You have much trouble?"

"Not yet," I said. "No one knew though until recently. I didn't think my friends would accept it, but it turns out none of them care. They thought I was a dick for dating girls to cover it up."

Ray's bright white teeth flashed in his dark face. "Shame about Emmett's Dad. What about the rest of his family? Same problem?"

"No, they're cool." I looked up as the door swung open and Edward and Alice appeared. "Guys!"

"Are you alright? What happened? Oh, God, we were all asleep and the hospital called, they won't let us all in to see Emmett, Dad's in there and Mom and Jasper..." Alice began to babble, grabbing one of my hands in both of hers and digging her nails into my flesh.

"Calm down, sis," Edward said. "He must be ok or they'd have said. Are you alright, Paul?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Emmett's got a tube down his throat, they said it's swelled up from the smoke. I don't know any more than that, your Dad kicked me out."

"I'm sorry," Edward said.

I realised Ray was watching with interest and quickly introduced the two Cullen siblings and then Jasper too as he came in. He and Alice sat on the edge of the unoccupied bed in the room and Edward hovered and paced, his hands in his pockets. Time crawled by. A large clock ticked away the minutes, one at a time until eventually four o'clock had passed. A cop came in to talk to Ray and me and then left; the nurse came back to check us over again and advised our blood tests were good and that the worst we would have was sore throats and headaches for a day or two. Edward went out and came back in three times, saying the same thing each time - that his parents were still with Emmett and they wouldn't even let him in there. Jasper left the room to get drinks and returned with a tray of paper cups containing the revolting hospital machine coffee that we all drank absently while waiting for news. I realised I hadn't let anyone know what had happened and quickly sent Sam a text in case he and Emily were awake and wondering why I hadn't come home. Sam arrived at the hospital thirty minutes later, horrified and anxious and joined the rest of us in the now crowded room.

"I'm going to find out what's going on," Edward said for the fourth time, pulling open the door. He almost ran straight into Esme who was on her way in.

"Mom! Is he ok?" he demanded.

"He just woke up."

Alice and Jasper both launched themselves at Esme, Alice bursting into very loud tears as they hugged their mother. My own tears pricked the back of my eyes and I blinked them away. Emmett was awake and I should be in there with him, but I knew Carlisle would be intent on keeping me out.

"Can we see him?" Jasper was asking.

"Two at a time," Esme said. "I'll wait in here."

"You two wait a bit longer," Edward said, much to my surprise. "We're going to see him." His hand fastened around my wrist and he tugged me to my feet.

"Edward..." Esme began to protest, glancing at me apologetically.

"No, Mom, this is ridiculous," Edward said. "Who do you think Emmett would want in there, huh? Come on, Paul." He let go of my arm and strode out of the room, pushing open the next door and holding it wide. Carlisle was standing beside Emmett's bed. The tube had been removed from his throat and he was wearing an oxygen mask, his eyes open although the whites were red.

"I thought I told you family only," Carlisle said, his jaw twitching as he turned to look at me.

"Dad, you're not being fair," said Edward firmly. "You might not like the fact that Emmett's with a guy, but you're going to have to forget about that right now and put him first."

"Edward, don't speak to me like that!" the doctor snapped.

I ignored them and stepped into the room.

"Stay where you are!" growled Carlisle.

"Dad..."

We all turned to look at Emmett. He had pulled the mask away from his face and was grimacing with the effort of speaking.

"Paul...come here..." he rasped.

Ignoring Carlisle I hurried to the side of the bed and dropped into the chair I had occupied earlier, grasping Emmett's hand as he lifted it slowly off the mattress.

"Are you ok?" he asked breathlessly and coughed hard.

I snorted and joined in the coughing. "I'm fine, you dick, you're the one who nearly died." I squeezed his hand harder. "I thought I was gonna lose you."

"No chance. Didn't I tell you...that day when you told me...about your shit...that I wasn't..." He stopped and coughed violently, gasping for breath. "...going anywhere?"

"Stop talking and breathe," I said, noticing Carlisle moving forward from his position by the door, a glare on his face.

"Dad," Edward protested. "Why don't you go get a coffee or something? I'll stay here."

Carlisle sighed heavily and then after a moment's hesitation opened the door and walked out.

"Thanks, Eddie," Emmett panted.

"You know you're only getting away with calling me that because you're sick," Edward said, scowling half-heartedly. "I'll be back in ten. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." He quirked an eyebrow in my direction and left us alone.

"He's cool," I said at once.

"Yeah. They all are. What happened? In the club." He began to cough again and breathed deeper for a few moments.

"I told you, don't talk," I repeated. "I don't know what happened, but that fucking place is a death trap. I guess we'll find out when it's been inspected. I'll try and speak to my boss when I get out of here and see what he knows."

"Did everyone...get out?"

"Yeah, as far as I know."

"I almost did," Emmett went on, ignoring my demands for him to stop talking. "The smoke started coming out the vent in the bathroom. I came out...a minute after my text...but it was thicker on the stairs. I guess...I must have...passed out."

"I don't know what I would have done if I lost you," I groaned. "When they brought you out, I thought..."

"Don't," Emmett interrupted.

"I love you so much," I said instead.

"I love you too. And I need you here. If...my Dad doesn't like it...it's too bad."

"I'm going nowhere," I averred, leaning forward to plant a kiss on his forehead, the only part of his face I could get to because of the oxygen mask. Emmett raised his free hand and pulled the mask down again.

"Give me a proper fucking kiss."

I brushed my lips against his, intending it to be brief, but when his hand slid to the back of my neck and held me in place, I teased his lips with my tongue and he moaned softly into my mouth. When I pulled away and he replaced the mask, he was grinning.

"That probably wasn't such a good idea. I didn't think..." He paused and took some deep breaths. "Didn't think I had the energy to get a boner."

I smirked. "Well, I'd fix that for you, but I don't think your Dad would be ecstatic if he came in and caught me with my hand on your dick."

Emmett laughed loudly and then coughed until his face turned red.

"Fuck," I muttered. "Calm down, they'll throw me out for getting you worked up."

"Yeah, they'd have no idea how worked up I am," he gasped. "How long do I have to stay here?"

"I don't know, I think they're letting me and Ray go in the morning," I told him.

The door opened at that moment and Carlisle came back in, a cup of coffee in his hand. I resolutely held onto Emmett's hand and looked up at him. He sighed heavily and glanced from Emmett to me and back again.

"We have some things to talk about when you're feeling better," he said awkwardly.

"Yeah, we do, but I'd rather get it out of the way now," Emmett replied. "I'm fine, I'm breathing easier."

Carlisle glanced at me with a frown.

"Paul's staying," Emmett said firmly. "I want him with me." He cleared his throat and looked at me. "I know it isn't what you want to hear, Dad, but I love him so you're going to have to get used to it."

I grinned and stroked my thumb over his knuckles.

"Very well." Carlisle turned as the door started to open again and Edward appeared.

"Oh...Dad..."

"Edward, go and wait with your mother and the others for a while," Carlisle told him.

"Sure." He withdrew again and Carlisle closed the door and leaned on it. I felt ridiculously like a little kid summoned to the headmaster and gritted my teeth, pretty sure the conversation wasn't going to go well.

"I suppose I haven't been very supportive, Emmett," he began.

I felt my eyebrows rising slightly and did my best to keep my face straight, tempted as I was to sneer.

"You know what my views have always been; that was the way I was brought up, but things were a lot different, a lot less tolerant then. I won't pretend it wasn't a shock to find out one of my boys was...different."

"You can say 'gay', Dad," Emmett said.

Carlisle grimaced slightly. "Yes, alright. I'm sure you know your mother has been giving me grief about this the last few weeks and she's right in that I should have at least talked to you instead of ignoring you as I have been. I don't want you to be unhappy, Emmett, or try to be something you're not to please me." He pulled another awkward face and then smiled slightly. "You're old enough to know what you want out of life and I'm going to have to accept that your path is a little different from what I imagined. All I ask is that you give me a little time to get used to it."

"Wow," Emmett said in surprise, his hand squeezing mine tighter. "You mean that?"

"Yes, son. I think the fear of losing another of my children tonight made me look more closely at what's important. Paul, I'm sorry I shut you out earlier. You can stay as long as you want to. I'll go and spend some time with the others now, drink this awful coffee."

"Thanks, Dad," Emmett said.

"Yeah, thanks," I added, more than a little surprised. I turned to look at Emmett as Carlisle left the room. "Well, that was unexpected."

"I know." Emmett grinned widely. "Shame it had to take something like this for him to get his head out of his butt, but better late than never."

I stayed with him for another hour until exhaustion suddenly hit me and much as I didn't want to leave, after my doctor signed me off I let Sam take me home, took a quick shower and fell into bed. Some of Emmett's family were staying with him and I had promised to go back later as soon as I had some sleep. I didn't wake until the early afternoon and then I found Mr Barraco in the lounge talking to Emily over coffee, much to my surprise.

"Hello, Paul, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Much better, thanks," I nodded. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, don't worry about me. I'm more concerned about you and the others and your friend. Is he ok?"

"I think so." I bit my lip. "Did you hear anything while I was out, Emily?"

"Yes, Sam called and talked to Carlisle. Emmett's fine, he's sleeping and they're keeping him in another day or two, but he'll be ok."

"Thank God." I sat down and Emily got up to fetch me some coffee while I talked to my boss.

"Do you know how the fire started?" I asked.

"Yes, it was deliberate." He grimaced and closed his eyes for a second. "Even so, I was aware the electrics hadn't been inspected for far too long and the sprinklers weren't maintained. I hold myself completely responsible for the whole terrible incident. Unfortunately, despite what you might think, the club hasn't been doing well financially. What I made on it barely covered the enormous mortgage on it, but that's not your concern.

"The fire officers discovered items and accelerants in the store room and a cigarette lighter which I recognised." He paused and cleared his throat. "I was in a relationship that ended badly a few weeks ago; very needy possessive guy, manipulative and devious. I finally got around to ending it, despite him making various threats about what he'd do, but if I'm honest I didn't really care by that stage. I thought if he did something to get back at me, it would be personal, not through the club."

"Shit!" I exclaimed. "Son-of-a-bitch sounds crazy!"

"Disturbed, certainly," Mr Baracco said, looking rather shame-faced. "He's already in police custody. Apparently they found sufficient evidence to believe he was the culprit and he hasn't even tried to deny it."

"So what will you do now? Get the club repaired?" I asked.

"No. I can't afford it, as well as the improvements that are needed and I stupidly let the insurance lapse a few months ago. I'm going to have to sell up."

So I would be out of a job, as would the other guys. I didn't say anything, but I guess my face gave me away.

"I'm sorry, Paul, there won't be a job for you any more. Like I said, I already spoke to Ray and Gary and I have Steve and Terry still to see. I will be giving all of you severence pay; it's not fair for my troubles to affect all of you."

"Really, you don't have to do that, not with me," I said. "I barely worked for you for five minutes."

"But you're a good worker, Paul, I was impressed with the way you handled yourself from the first day. You'll get two months' pay the same as the others and it goes without saying that you'll get a glowing reference should you need one."

"Well, thanks, I really appreciate it," I said. My mind was already working overtime and as soon as Mr Baracco left, I gobbled the food Emily made for me, changed and had her drive me over to the hospital. I still had a fearsome headache and Emily wouldn't let me get behind the wheel. She left me there and drove home, telling me to call her if I needed a ride home later.

Edward and Alice were with Emmett when I arrived and they both spoke to me for a few minutes before taking off and leaving the two of us alone. Emmett was sitting up now and although he was still wearing an oxygen mask, he looked much better, the colour having returned to his face and the redness having gone from his eyes. He pulled the mask down to kiss me and then I dropped into the chair next to him.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Like a truck ran over my chest, but I'm ok. I got some sleep."

"Me too," I told him. "Do you know how long they're keeping you in? Emily said a couple of days."

"Yeah, soon as I don't need the mask any more."

"My boss came to see me," I said and proceeded to tell him how the fire had started and that I was out of a job, along with all the others.

"Shit, that's rough," Emmett said.

"He's giving us all two months' pay, he feels pretty bad about it."

"So what are you going to do now?"

"Well, I was thinking...you know what I talked to you about when we first got to know each other, about setting up my own business? Now's as good a time as any. I mean, I don't have as much experience as I'd like, but I guess I can figure it out as I go along. Emily has a business degree that she did by correspondence, I'm pretty sure she'd help me out with that side of things. I was thinking I'd ask Ray and Gary and maybe the others too if they want to work for me. If they don't mind doing that since I was the last in there. What do you think?"

What he thought mattered to me more than anyone else's opinion and if he thought it was a bad idea, I knew I would listen.

"Wow, I think that's an awesome idea," Emmett said at once. "I think you'd make a good boss."

"Really?" I grinned. "Well, I guess if my employees don't behave I could kick their asses."

"You know, if you need any help setting this up - I mean financially - I'd be glad to help."

"Thanks, Emmett," I said at once. "But I'm ok. You know I told you Quil left me some money - it was twenty grand. I haven't touched a cent of it."

"Fuck me!" he exclaimed.

"Believe me, the minute your lungs are healed, I will do," I smirked.

I stayed with him a couple hours and when I arrived home, I immediately discussed my plans with Sam and Emily. Just as I expected, Emily was eager to help and Sam too, since he had his own business and would be able to give me advice. My idea was to set up a security company through which I would hire out my guys to whoever needed them, whether it was for temporary engagements or on a more permanent basis. Sam said he would call his lawyer on Monday and set up a meeting for us to go over some legal details and begin moving things forward and once I had a more concrete plan in mind, I called the guys from LA's.

Gary and Ray were immediately on board. Neither one had done anything yet about looking for alternative work, but from past experience they knew there was little call for work in Forks at the moment and with two months' pay coming from Mr Baracco they weren't in any hurry. Terry said he would think about it and Steve said no, simply because he had already spoken to his sister in Portland and planned to go stay with her for a while. He had originally come from there and he had a child whom he would see more regularly if he were to move back.

I went to bed early that night, wanting to get some relief from the persistent headache and I slept heavily. When I opened my eyes the next morning I felt like my usual self - starving hungry and horny as hell. Ignoring the rumbling stomach for a few minutes, I took care of my aching erection first, pumping it vigorously and imagining Emmett's hot, wet mouth sucking on it while he squeezed my balls and plunged his fingers into me. I couldn't wait for him to get better. It was far too long since we had been together.

I took a quick shower and went to get breakfast, delighted to find that Sam had already spoken to his lawyer at home and arranged to meet with him on Monday afternoon. I would be able to start moving forward with my plans already and I couldn't wait for my future to start coming together.


	24. Chapter 24

**As always, thank you all for reading and for the great reviews. This is the last chapter so I hope you like the ending :o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

**Emmett's POV**

I was stuck in the damned hospital for three more days before I could do without the oxygen mask, by which time I was frustrated beyond belief. Paul was busy during the day, meeting with Sam's lawyer, talking to his three new employees and registering his company, and bothering Edward who had offered to build a website for him to advertise his business. Edward was a genius at shit like that and it gave him something to keep his mind off of Bella, who he was still moping over, much as he pretended not to be.

Paul came over to the hospital after dinner every night and stayed until the nurses threatened him with security to have him removed. Surprisingly Dad didn't bother us when we were together and since I had a private room, we could in theory have done pretty much what we wanted, although of course I wasn't up to it. I probably would have ended up needing intubation again if I had an orgasm. Maybe a slight exaggeration, but needless to say, I couldn't wait to get out of the fucking place and feel Paul's hands and mouth on me, like he kept teasing me he was going to do.

Finally on Wednesday morning Dad signed me off and Alice came to collect me in her Porsche, laughingly telling me that Edward and Paul were too busy poring over a computer to tear themselves away.

"Paul's at our house?" I said in surprise.

"Yes, Edward got sick of dragging his laptop back and forth to his place - it's easier for him to work on the desktop and Mom and Dad gave in this morning and told Edward to ask him over."

"Awesome!" I grinned. "Step on the gas, will you?"

Alice giggled. "Now, don't be distracting him from his work, he's a busy boy."

"And I've been away almost a week and then stuck in that damned hospital bed," I growled.

"I don't think you need to say any more."

"Where's everyone else?" I asked. I knew Dad was on duty at the hospital for the rest of the day, but I guessed the others would be home.

"Mom and Jasper went to Tacoma to see a client. I'm going out too, I have a lunch date, so you just need to find a way to get rid of Edward."

"You have a lunch date? Who with?"

"Gary, you know, Paul's friend?"

"The security guy?" I said in surprise. "How do you know him?"

"Well, duh, we were both hanging out at the hospital after the fire and we got talking."

"So, you're waiting for news on whether your favourite brother's alive or dead and you're hooking up?" I gasped, pretending to be offended.

"What makes you think you're my favourite?" she grinned, turned the car up our driveway. "Anyway, we didn't hook up, we just talked about you and Paul and stuff. Then Gary saw Edward in Forks when he was picking up some computer stuff and asked how he could get in touch with me and Edward took his number and gave it to me."

"What do you even know about this guy?" I frowned.

"The idea of going to lunch is to get to know him," Alice said. "Anyway, he can't be a complete asshole, Paul gets on with him."

"Paul used to be a complete asshole, remember?" I sighed.

"Emmett, don't go all protective big brother on me, I'll be fine. Besides, I can't see him behaving badly towards me, or you'll get Paul to kick his butt, right?"

"I'll kick his butt myself," I grumbled. "Alright, just be careful, Alice. No one wants to see you get hurt, that's all."

"Promise." She parked the car and cut the engine. Before I had even climbed out, the house door burst open and Paul flew out of it. "Aww, look, he's all excited to see you," Alice teased and quickly headed indoors.

Paul wrapped his arms around me and we just held onto each other for a long moment.

"Sorry I didn't come get you myself," he said in my ear.

"Just as well, or my Dad would probably we watching us do this." I drew my head back and planted my mouth on his in a rough kiss. His lips parted and his tongue emerged to meet mine as he pressed himself against me. I immediately felt his erection pushing at the front of his jeans and I began to get hard. I broke the kiss quickly, panting.

"Jesus, it's been killing me not doing anything the last few days," I groaned.

"You sure you're up to it now?" Paul asked.

I grimaced. Dad had avoided saying anything to me, but one of my nurses had. I should restrain myself from doing anything strenuous for at least a week or two. "I probably shouldn't fuck," I said. "But there's nothing wrong with my hands and your mouth. Where's Edward?"

"In the rear lounge working on the computer. He won't be tearing himself away from it any time soon and Alice is going out."

As he spoke she came out again with a different coat on and a purse in her hand and skipped towards the car. Paul stepped away from me and we both shoved our hands into our pockets and headed for the house. Edward didn't appear and we made it to my room without interruption. I shrugged my jacket off quickly. Paul was wearing a sweater with his jeans and he began to strip the items off. As usual he had no underwear on and his cock reared up against his stomach as soon as it was freed.

I realised I was simply standing staring and I kicked my shoes off and began to attend to my own clothes. By the time I had my shirt undone, Paul was completely naked and unfastening my pants while I threw the shirt off. He grasped both pants and boxers and shoved them down my legs, bending down to pull my socks off and pressing his face into my groin while he did so. I groaned as his tongue teased my balls and then ran up the underside of my cock and then he was on his feet again and we were kissing, moving towards the bed blindly.

In a moment I was flat on my back and Paul was kneeling over me, tormenting me with his tongue as he nibbled at my neck and then my chest. One of his hands found my cock and began to stroke it lightly, making me twitch and groan and I concentrated on taking deep breaths, ignoring the slight tightness in my chest.

"Are you ok?" Paul asked once.

"Yeah," I panted, covering his hand with mine and squeezing it tighter around me. "Get down there and suck me."

Chuckling, Paul shifted his position, pushing my legs apart so he could crouch between them and I let out a sigh of relief as his lips and tongue wrapped around the head of my cock and began tugging gently.

"Jesus, I'm gonna last about a minute," I gasped, resisting the urge to thrust my hips upwards. It had been far too long and I wanted release rather than finesse.

Paul responded exactly the way I wanted him to, taking me deeper into his mouth, his head bobbing up and down rapidly following the movement of his hand, pausing for only a second to wet his fingers with saliva before he carefully inserted one into me.

"Oh, fuck!" I groaned. I hadn't been exaggerating when I said I would only last a minute. Already my orgasm was building up in me and rather than try to make it last like I would have normally, I simply went with it, exploding into Paul's mouth and clutching at the edges of the bed, my breathing laboured. For a moment I felt as if I could have used the oxygen mask again and Paul sat up anxiously and stared down at me.

"Shit, are you alright? This was probably a bad idea."

"I'm fine," I gasped. "More than fine." I sucked in a huge lungful of air and my pulse began to slow gradually. "Give me another minute, then it's your turn."

"Ah, no, you keep your hands to yourself," Paul said. "I don't want you dying on me."

"You can't kill me with sex," I protested.

"You haven't seen yourself, your fucking face is purple!"

"Damnit," I muttered. Apparently even getting a blow job was too strenuous quite yet. "Do it yourself then, let me watch," I grinned suddenly.

"No, I'll wait until later."

"Oh, come on, don't be a spoilsport. I'll be fine. Are you seriously telling me you can wait until later?" I reached down and cupped his balls, squeezing lightly until he groaned. "Come on, I love watching you get yourself off."

"You better be fine. I don't want to have to explain to your Dad that you expired watching me jack off," Paul smirked.

"Shut up and get on with it. Lie down that way with your head over there," I instructed, pointed to the end of the bed. He obliged, his feet resting on the mattress near my shoulder. I was breathing normally again now and I turned onto my side and shifted slightly to give myself a better view as he spread his legs open and pulled his knees up. My cock immediately began to twitch as his hand wrapped around his erection and I ignored it.

"Have you got lube?"

"Hell, yeah." I pulled open the middle drawer in the cabinet beside the bed and pulled the bottle out from beneath my socks, then squeezed some into Paul's hand as he stretched it out towards me. He slicked it onto his cock and continued pumping himself slowly, the lube making hot wet sounds to accompany his heavy breaths. I grasped his other hand and lifted it off the bed, squeezing more lube out, coating his fingers.

"Put your fingers inside yourself," I said. "That was fucking hot when you did it in that motel."

Paul sniggered and did as requested, first one finger and then a second, plunging them deep and moving both hands in time with each other.

"Jesus, I wish that was my cock," I groaned. "I can't wait to fuck you again."

Paul groaned and his hands moved faster, his toes curling into the bed covers. I watched him bringing himself closer to orgasm, biting my lip and imagining his tight heat around me, his hands gripping my butt and pulling me in deeper. I pushed myself up off the mattress quickly, kneeling between Paul's thighs and pushing his hand off of himself, replacing it with my mouth quickly a second before he came.

Somehow I managed to calm myself down afterwards and we just lay together for a while, still naked, arms and legs draped over each other, exchanging little kisses until suddenly the door opened and Edward wandered in with a laptop in his hands.

"I need to..."

"What the fuck, Edward? Can't you knock? _Get out!"_ I bellowed, grabbing the edge of the comforter and flicking it up over the lower half of our bodies.

Edward's eyes widened in shock and his face suffused with colour. "Well, you shouldn't be doing..._that," _he smirked suddenly. "Didn't they say no exertion for a couple of weeks?"

"Go away!" I growled.

Paul put his hands over his face, snorting with laughter as Edward withdrew quickly and closed the door again. "The poor fucker, he's probably scarred for life," he chortled, throwing the cover off again and grabbing his jeans. "We should probably quit this anyway before we get carried away again."

"Damnit." I sat up and picked up my shorts. "We need a vacation. When I'm back to one hundred per cent, obviously."

"That might be possible," Paul said thoughtfully. "The website is almost done, unless Edward just hit some problem. I'm going to run some ads in local papers for the moment, but it's going to take some time before the jobs start coming in. Maybe we could get a week away."

"Seriously? I mean, haven't you got a lot of stuff to do right now?"

"Nope," Paul grinned. "Most of it's done. Anyway, I'm the boss, if I want a vacation I can have one. I'll see what happens over the next few days and then I'll have a better idea of things."

**Paul's POV**

I felt guilty as hell about the state of Emmett. I hadn't realised quite how bad he still was and for the next few days I avoided getting in situations with him where we wouldn't be able to leave each other alone, even going as far as refusing to let him stay over with me. He was pissed and told me he was only going to jack himself off every night anyway so what was the difference, but I stubbornly stuck by my decision for six days until I'd seen him run upstairs to his room without getting breathless.

By this time the website was finished, the company registered - I had decided to call it simply Weston Security Services, Weston having been my mother's maiden name - a bank account set up, business cards and stationery printed and a whole heap of other things that Emily advised me on. I had ordered ads in three newspapers and Gary, Ray and Terry were all waiting for their first jobs to come in. For the first time I was actually nervous about things. I didn't want to fall flat on my face and fail, but the fact was that I knew fuck all about running my own business and now it was so close to getting started, I worried that it wouldn't work out and that I would end up letting down my friends who were relying on me for work and ultimately letting Quil down too.

However, the very next day after the ads were run, I began getting phone calls and by the end of the following day, I had jobs lined up for two of the guys and was struggling not to jump up and down like a little kid at Christmas. The job was to provide security for a huge business conference in Seattle organised by some rich acquaintance of Dr Cullen's and I when I realised that, I was at first convinced that somehow Carlisle had decided to help me out by sending the guy my way. However, Emmett and Edward both told me their father knew nothing about it and hadn't spoken to the guy in question in months. I wasn't totally convinced, but it was a job and I sure as hell wasn't going to turn it down. It was for a five-day event which meant my guys would also need transport to Seattle and accommodation, something which I hadn't actually thought out. However, Emily was quick to take over this part and in less than an hour had a year contract on two brand new rental cars and rooms arranged in a decent motel. The guys could use one of the cars to get to Seattle and I would have a spare for anything else that came in.

"You'll need to give them meal allowance too," she said, tapping away on a calculator. "So with expenses deducted and say, a hundred bucks per guy for incidentals, you're going to make this much on the job." She held the machine up in front of my face and my eyes widened.

"Two grand? For five days? Are you serious?"

"Yes, Paul, there's money in security. Not so much for guys working the door in a club, but guarding a bunch of important business moguls? Definitely. You're going to do well at this, Paul, I can feel it. Quil would be proud."

"Thanks, Emily," I beamed.

"So, who are you going to send?" she asked then.

"What?"

"Which guys? You can email them job instructions."

I decided on Ray and Terry for the job. It started in two weeks' time and Emily emailed them both, telling them what the job entailed, where they would be staying, instructing them to obtain receipts for everything and advising that a car would be delivered to Ray's home the evening before they needed to drive over to Seattle.

As for Gary, a few days later I received a request for a guard for six weeks starting immediately. This one was actually based in Port Angeles at the jail there, to cover sick leave for a guard who had been injured in an attempted break out. They had found me through the website and decided to take a chance on the new company because their usual security company was more expensive. Gary was all for the job although Alice, who had recently started dating him, wasn't too impressed, mainly because the contract required him to live at the prison, only able to return to Forks for one day each week.

There were other enquiries that week, but one or two turned out not to be serious and one clashed with the conference job. It was only for one guy in Tacoma for three days and much as I hated the damned place because of my Dad, I decided to take the job myself. Despite being the boss, I had no intention of sitting on my ass and watching the other guys work. I had agreed to pay Emily an hourly rate for what she did for me and she had enough time to put at least two or three hours a day into the administration so there was no need for me to be home with a phone and computer waiting for enquiries.

With all of us fixed up with work, but nothing starting immediately, I was lucky enough to have the time to spend a week away somewhere with Emmett, which I had been hoping for, but hadn't been convinced I would get once the calls for work began to come in. Now I decided to surprise him with a trip to cheer him up. Not only had I refused to do anything sexual with him, but I'd been too busy to spend much time with him also. I called upon Alice to help me out, phoning her when I knew Emmett had gone to Clearwater to make a delivery for Esme.

"Alice, I'm going to take Emmett on a surprise trip, what type of place do you think he'd like?" I asked.

All I heard for a moment was excited squeals.

"Aww, that's so sweet! You're such a romantic! He'll love it!"

"Yeah, alright, I'm going soft in my old age," I grinned. "So? Suggestions?"

"Somewhere hot with a beach," she said at once. "He's such a sun-worshipper, but we barely ever get any sun here. Why don't you get a nice private villa somewhere? Baja maybe?"

"Has he got a passport?" I asked.

"Yes, of course he does. His picture on it is hilarious, he's got longer hair, all curly," she giggled.

"Awesome. Thanks, Alice. Will your Mom mind if he's not around to work?"

"No, Jasper can do it. He'll probably sulk about it, but that's just too bad, he's too idle for his own good."

I finished the call a few minutes later and opened up my laptop to look for a vacation destination. I had always wanted to go to Mexico myself and I searched for some kind of package deal which would include flights and accommodation. There were plenty, with flights from Sea-Tac and private accommodation and I booked a villa in Los Cabos, using up my severence pay from LA's to do it. I had managed to get the trip at a lower price than usual with it being last minute and it really was last minute. I hooked the laptop up to Emily's printer to print out the booking documents and grabbed my phone to call Emmett, expecting him to have made it back home by now.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he answered a second later.

"Calling you," I grinned. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Something with you, I hope. Something that involves getting naked."

"I hope you're not still in the car with your Mom, talking like that," I teased.

"No, I'm home."

"Well, then you need to start packing. We have a flight to catch at six in the morning."

"A flight? What? Where? Is this to do with your work?" Emmett said in surprise.

"No, it's a vacation. Thought I'd surprise you. Everything is wrapped up with work and I can get away for a week."

"Well, fuck, I'm surprised!" exclaimed Emmett. "How did you know I can get away for a week?"

"I called Alice. She tells me you have an amusing passport photo."

"Shit," he muttered. "I was about eighteen when it was taken. So, come on, tell me where we're going." I could hear the grin in his voice.

"Baja."

"Awesome! Damnit, why'd you tell me this on the phone?"

"Because you'd pounce on me and I want to save it until we get there," I laughed.

"I can't believe you did this, Paul," he said more seriously. "Thanks, I mean it. I was hoping we'd get a vacation, but with your business just starting up. I know you said you thought we could..."

"Yeah, well it worked out perfectly. Everyone has work waiting for them in a few weeks and we get to enjoy some sun, sea and sex for a week first."

"Forget the first two, I'm gonna fuck you within an inch of your life the minute we get there!" Emmett growled.

"I can't wait," I groaned. "I'll come pick you up around midnight, ok?"

"Sure, I'll be ready. I love you."

"Love you too." I grinned stupidly as I ended the call.

Who would have thought just a few weeks ago, my life would be like this? I had been so angry all the time, so distrustful of everyone, so eager to fight all the time and convinced that I could go through life satisfied with a quick blow job or something with an endless string of guys whose names I couldn't remember. Emmett had completely changed everything for me and I realised now that if somehow our time together was cut short, the way I had assumed it would be, I wouldn't regret it and wish I never started it. I had something special that I wouldn't miss for the world, whether it was for a week or a year or for the rest of my life.

"What are you grinning about?" Emily's voice interrupted my thoughts and I laughed.

"I...um...this is probably a really stupid time to be doing this, but I booked a vacation for me and Emmett. Obviously I'm going to have my cell and laptop with me, so it should be fine anyway. We're going to Los Cabos."

"Wow, vacationing with him, now I'm convinced it's serious," Emily teased. "When are you going?"

"We leave for the airport at midnight."

"Tonight? You don't mess around," she smiled. "Make the most of it! I think things are going to get busy around here when you get back. I had another enquiry already; it's just for a doorman at that all night bar in Forks. One of their guys is going on paternity leave and they need cover for two weeks. It's after the conference so you could put Ray or Terry on it."

"Ray," I said at once. "Terry's got less experience and that bar's always having some sort of trouble."

Emily promised to deal with any enquiries that came through in my absence and email me daily with the news, but otherwise she thought it was a good idea that I was going away with Emmett and Sam agreed. Emmett sent me a text not long after to tell me he had checked with his Dad to make sure he would be ok to fly and Carlisle had done his thing with his stethoscope and confirmed his lungs now sounded fine. Excited, I set about packing my own belongings, having to borrow a case from Emily as I realised I had never, in my whole life, been on a vacation. I had gotten myself a passport about three years before, but never had cause to use it and now I dug it out and placed it with my laptop, then began throwing items of clothing and toiletries untidily into the case. Eventually it was done and I locked it and went to put it in the trunk of the Skyline so I was ready to go. In just a few hours I would be on my way to pick up Emmett and drive to Sea-Tac.

The journey was uneventful, but exciting for me, since I had never been on a plane. Emmett laughed at me peering out the window and beaming as we took off and elbowed me when I complained about the rather small portions of food we were given for breakfast. The plane landed on time at nine-fifty and we found a cab to take us to our beach villa, which was just twenty minutes from the airport, in a secluded spot with a private beach. We lugged our cases into the single storey building and then quickly headed out the other side, looking longingly at the turquoise sea, a far cry from the chill grey waters of La Push. I couldn't wait to get in there, but more than that, I couldn't wait to dive into the four poster bed with Emmett and make up for lost time.

There was certainly nothing wrong with Emmett now and he didn't waste any time in doing exactly what he promised, pounding me into the mattress until the pair of us were exhausted, sweaty and lying in a tangled heap of trembling limbs.

"Paul, I want to ask you something," Emmett said suddenly.

"Want to go again already?" I teased, propping myself up on my elbow so I could see his face.

"Not that. I need food first."

"Me too, I saw a restaurant not far back from here."

"Shut up, I'm talking." Emmett raised his head and his lips touched mine before he dropped his head back onto the pillow.

"Sorry. Sounds serious."

"Yeah, I was thinking about us; you know, about our future."

"You better not be thinking of ditching me after I brought you here," I smirked.

"Damn you." Emmett flipped me onto my back suddenly and lowered his weight onto me. "I'll gag you in a minute."

I slid my legs apart to make things more comfortable and he settled between them. Despite our earlier exertion, my cock immediately began to come back to life and I struggled to ignore it.

"Sorry," I said again. God, what was he going to say? What had he been thinking about our future? Moving it forward? The same way I had? My heart skipped unevenly.

"What do you think about us getting a place together? We're a little old to be staying over at each other's houses and trying to be quiet and the motel thing...I don't know, I just want this, like we are right now, all the time."

"Yeah, me too," I said softly without hesitating.

"What? You do?" Emmett's eyes widened a touch.

"Did you think I'd say it was a lousy idea? I've been thinking about it for a while, I just hadn't gotten around to saying anything, what with everything else that's happened," I smiled. "We could find a house to rent or even buy one. I don't plan on getting rid of you any time soon." I laughed at his expression. "I love you; I'm over all that stupid shit from before."

"I love you too." His lips touched mine lightly. "I can't wait to move in with you."

I slid my arms around him and hugged him tightly. At last I had a real future to look forward to and I couldn't wait to start living my life properly, with Emmett by my side.

**A/N So the boys get their happy every after and now I have a new story to write. Watch out for my next all-human story "Healing a Damaged Soul" which I'll be starting to post soon!**


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